


Even when morning comes, don’t disappear

by Gigi_Bell



Series: ABO/Wolf [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Gang World, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chanyeol is vicious if you’re not Baekhyun, Cute Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Fluff and Angst, Illusions, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Sad and Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 85,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24231769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi_Bell/pseuds/Gigi_Bell
Summary: Omega rights aren’t a thing, but Chanyeol wants them to be.Even though he’s an alpha, and he shouldn’t worry about omegas.Baekhyun makes him worry a lot.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Series: ABO/Wolf [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055228
Comments: 257
Kudos: 488





	1. Punch my face, do it cause I like the pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is solely mine, I do not allow stories to be posted on any other site, and any translations that are done will be posted here on my own page, I don’t allow my works to be posted under any other accounts.

Chanyeol laughed, even though he could taste metal on his tongue, wiping his gun on his jeans. “Take the omega back home. Let Yixing see him.” He ordered, turning to spit a mouthful of blood on the cement and wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

The omega this other pack tried to trade was already terrified, big round eyes staring at Chanyeol in fear the moment his infamous pack strolled in time to collect the money owed to them.

But that wasn’t the worst part, and this pack should have known better than to try and offer an omega as trade.

Exo did not fuck with omegas - and certainly not ones so young, never would touch them without permission.

It was _disgusting,_ as they had omegas of their own at home. They had omegas to protect and it was their job, as a family, to make sure they didn’t fall into the wrong hands.

“Sir! T-Thank you! Thank you, thank you!”

And this omega was so young, only a few years older than their youngest alpha, Sehun.

To say Chanyeol was disgusted was an understatement, and he knew Minseok had a good reason to tell him he was impulsive, but that hadn’t stopped him from shooting the other pack leader point blank for even suggesting they use this omega.

It was disrespectful, and disgusting, and packs should have learned by now that Exo didn’t accept this form of payment - or anything other than money really.

“Did they touch you?”

“Chan-“

Chanyeol raised a finger to Junmyeon, which was rude, but he was extremely angry right now, and he didn’t want to hear anyone but the fifteen year old omega staring at him both in fear and shock.

“No- no, alpha. No- yo… you got here in time.” The omega stumbled.

And then, Chanyeol smiled, and it must have looked a bit creepy from the blood on his teeth from when a few pack members tried to fight back, but the omega just stared at him in awe and surprise as he patted his head. “Good. We have a place for you, sweetheart.”

“Kyungsoo,” the omega murmured, accepting Yifan’s hand with shaking eyes.

“Kyungsoo. You’ll be safe.” Minseok murmured, and Chanyeol thought nothing of the warning look the eldest sent him.

He knew the more they took in the more of a target they would be.

But Chanyeol wasn’t about to just drop a lone omega on the streets for the vultures to attack.

“Okay. Let’s get going.” Junmyeon sighed, and Chanyeol shook his head.

“You guys go. I’ll be back later.” Chanyeol stated, red eyes showing how angry he still was as they walked out of the warehouse. “Get him settled, text me a list of shit he needs. I’ll pick it up.” He added, shoving his gun into his waistband.

“Yeol, how are you getting back then?” Minseok asked.

Chanyeol chuckled, shaking his head and burying his hands in his pockets. “I’ll steal a car. Don’t worry, I’m just going for a walk.”

~~~~~~

Things had always been like this.

Chanyeol could clearly remember at age sixteen walking out of his school and seeing an omega pinned to the ground and alphas surrounding the poor thing.

He hadn’t been strong enough back then to do anything about it. He had been lanky, weak, disconnected from his instincts too much to react to the omegas crying.

But he smelled like an alpha, so when one of the men turned and asked if he wanted to join Chanyeol remembered how afraid he was - how scared he had been because the omega cried, she was screaming and he had never personally seen something like it before.

He ran away.

And the next morning when he walked by the spot to go to school it was surrounded in police tape, the area was blocked off, but there was blood… blood everywhere, and it was clear what had happened.

Chanyeol never could forget that day.

Maybe it was what drove him to create his own pack, to challenge those in positions of power, because what were laws when an entire criminal society snooped right under their noses?

Police didn’t mean _shit,_ laws weren’t much more than words, and if anything ever happened to an omega it was entirely their own fault - not the alphas, because why did the omega _tempt_ the alpha? Huh? Why didn’t the omega fight back? It’s not our fault omegas aren’t strong enough.

These were just things heard on a regular basis, but were clearly wrong.

But only him and his pack seemed to think so.

Omegas were hard to find these days, and even more so an unmated one.

That’s why Chanyeol wanted them under their care.

Because _with_ them they could have a choice, and _with_ them they could at least be guaranteed a safe night of rest, wouldn't have to look over their shoulders when the alphas were already looking for them.

He knew that the older alphas in his pack didn’t exactly approve of it, and that they were scared he was accepting too many omegas that they couldn’t protect, but Chanyeol couldn't give a fuck.

He really didn’t care if he was over his head because even if it was for a little while, those omegas would be safe.

_“Excuse me.”_

“Come on, omega. Just a little.”

_“No thank you.”_

_“No thank you!”_

_“I said don’t touch me!”_

Chanyeol hadn’t ever heard a voice like this before, and it wasn’t the tone that caught his attention, but the conversation itself.

The omega clearly said no, very clearly was saying no.

And the alpha wasn’t backing off.

Nobody was going to help other than Chanyeol, he knew that. Because that’s just how shit was, because it was easy to blame an omega - blame their scent for seducing an alpha, push the guilt off the alphas shoulders.

And the law was on the alphas side - always.

“Hey!” He yelled, pulling his hood over his head only to make sure it stayed put, “The omega said to _fuck off.”_

Unsurprisingly, the alpha had the omega pinned to the brick wall, hand at the omegas throat, and Chanyeol couldn't see the omegas face in the shadows on the wall, but he trailed down what he could see and the omegas feet weren’t even touching the ground because the alphas grip was so hard.

“We can share, I found it, I get him first.” The other alpha offered.

Chanyeol laughed before scoffing, pulling his hands out of his pockets and brushing them on his jeans nonchalantly. “What makes you think he’s willing? Huh? He looks very unwilling.”

Chanyeol didn’t even hear what the other had to say because the omega made a strangled noise and was kicking his legs against the alphas knees and he saw red.

Red, it was all red as he growled and reached out to grab the alpha by the throat.

It felt like an unfair fight, because he was so much stronger, but it was pathetic of this alpha to overpower the omega but barely put up a fight against him.

“Pathetic! You gonna rape him? Huh?” Chanyeol usually didn’t even try to speak to low life alphas, but something about the omega panting for air behind him was scratching at his chest. “Gonna kill him after too? Sick son of a bitch!”

The alpha beneath him tried to speak, but Chanyeol didn’t want to hear his response, didn’t need to, and was sinking his teeth right in the alphas throat.

It was a property fight now, the police would see how animalistic the attack was and assume he protected his mate - it wasn’t illegal.

But, honestly, Chanyeol only attacked him so viciously because he knew it took a while for someone to bleed to death.

And he was happy to let the man gasp for air, because that’s what the omega had to do moments before.

“Are you okay?”

Chanyeol turned to the omega, wiping his mouth on his sleeves, keeping his knees bent in an attempt not to scare the omega more than he needed to. “Are you hurt?”

The omegas head snapped up, and Chanyeol felt like he was the one that needed to find his footing because he was beautiful, but that wasn’t exactly why he was shocked.

He was shocked because the omega was staring at him like he was some sort of hero, like he admired Chanyeol, and he didn’t have any signs of tears or fear on his face.

Just a light flush from being unable to breathe, and a pink ring around his neck.

The omega was adorable, standing up and pushing his apron down and chewing his lip, but his eyes were still just staring at Chanyeol.

“Are… do… do you need someone to walk you home? You shouldn’t be walking alone through alleys, what were you thinking?”

Chanyeol didn’t usually feel the need to scold omegas he saved, usually just letting them use his phone to call someone or even taking them back with him - like Jongdae had Yixing.

But this omega looked like he needed a scolding for not even looking the least bit afraid.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol was genuinely getting worried at this point, maybe the omega was in shock. “You.. I’ll walk you home, which w-“

“Baekhyun. My.. my name is Baekhyun.”

The omegas voice was excited, still unafraid, and Chanyeol genuinely was worried this young omega was crazy. “Can you walk me home?”

Chanyeol hadn’t ever blushed in his entire life, and he’d deny it if anyone noticed, but his ears warmed up. “Of course. Yeah.”

He had blood drying on his sleeve, and he was even disgusted at the grittiness of his teeth, but Baekhyun grabbed onto his sleeve immediately, like he hadn’t just witnessed something so vicious at all.

“Don’t usually go this way!” The omega began, and Chanyeol usually hated people that talked as much as Jongdae did, but this omega was adorable. “Walking home from work.. I told him to leave me alone. Please leave me alone, but nobody listens to me!”

“That’s what alphas do,” Chanyeol cleared his throat and wanted to hit himself for suddenly feeling like a blushing virgin - something he very much was not - but his heart rate picked up when Baekhyun pouted his lip at him and swung his sleeve, as if they hadn’t only met seconds before and Baekhyun didn’t even know his name.

“You listen.” The omega pouted his lip, tilting his head cutely to look under Chanyeol's hood, and he must have liked what he saw because he smiled wider and chirped an almost purring noise. “You have to walk me home from now on, _Mister Alpha!”_

Flustered at his sudden job, but also accepting immediately because Baekhyun had a very demanding grin, and it was too pretty Chanyeol couldn’t look away. “And why is that, darling? You must have a lot of nerve bossing an alpha around - a very scary alpha, you shouldn’t be so straightforward. What if I attacked you right now?”

“You’re not scary!” Baekhyun claimed, and Chanyeol knew it was a huge lie because even his own pack sometimes looked afraid of the things he did. “You saved me - have to save me everytime now!”

Chanyeol was surprised the omega was suddenly dropping his sleeve, and felt disappointed as he watched Baekhyun walk up a set of stairs leading to an apartment complex.

“If you look up my name you’ll be really scared, omega.” Chanyeol admitted, and something about it felt like word vomit because he didn’t want to walk away without hearing the omega talk some more. “Don’t walk out of public alone, okay? Stay on main streets. You have to promise me before you go.”

Baekhyun giggled, and Chanyeol clicked his tongue to hide the shiver that went through his spine. “If I don’t promise, then what?”

“Then I’ll have to make sure you do.”

“Okay.” The omega peeked over his shoulder as he pushed the door open and Chanyeol stiffened at the thought of the omega just walking away like this. “Mister Alpha, you’ll have to make me promise tomorrow when you meet me in that alley to walk me home at seven.”

Chanyeol was positive he had just been tricked as Baekhyun shut and locked the door.

But he stood there a minute longer, looking down the street a little bit, and when he looked up at the small building he felt a lot better when Baekhyun waved at him from the top most window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is about PTSD, I suggest you take a look at the tags before continuing. Don’t let the first few chapters fool you, it gets very sad after a bit.
> 
> I wrote this with tons of research about PTSD (I’m a psych major) and I used my old essays on trauma related issues for reference. 
> 
> I hope you learn a thing or too, or enjoy this story for what it is ♥️


	2. I’m just gonna swim until you love me

Chanyeol felt ridiculous, like he had completely been tricked as he waited against the wall in the alley, having gotten there around six-thirty, because there was no way he was going to chance the omega having to wait out here by himself.

But, now it was ten minutes past seven and he was growing impatient because he wasn’t sure if he had gotten tricked or not.

Baekhyun had seemed genuine, but in general he also seemed like he liked to tease, and Chanyeol didn’t know him so it was hard to tell if the omega had only been joking with him.

However, his fears were unneeded because only a few minutes later - right as he was debating on leaving because he was beginning to feel like he had been stood up - the omega came rushing around the corner, holding his scrunched up apron and panting like he had run all the way here despite the cafe being directly around the alley corner.

“You came!”

Chanyeol had been pretty annoyed, but he didn’t feel it anymore. “Of course. You told me to come.”

The way Baekhyun bounced on his heels was adorable, and Chanyeol knew this was a bad idea - knew he really shouldn’t grow feelings for anyone when he had so much on his shoulders.

But he already knew he couldn’t look away.

Especially not when Baekhyun skipped his way over, holding his scrunched up apron to his chest and forcing his hand between Chanyeol's side and his arm to hook his own through. “I forgot my wallet, had to turn and get it, and then I -I forgot my apron. Funny, huh? I’ll be faster next time.”

“Funny.” Chanyeol mused, mostly because he wanted to keep hearing Baekhyun's voice. “Next time? You really are full of confidence, huh, little omega? You bossing me around?”

“Is it mean?” Baekhyun pouted, and under street light Chanyeol noticed a faint freckle on his lip and needed to look away quickly. “Sometimes I get a bit excited, I don’t… don't talk to alphas very much. Is it mean? I’m being too mean, huh?”

“No.” The alphas disagreed instantly, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's wrist when the omega went to pull it away from his forearm. “No. You’re fine - you’re more than fine actually, very, very fine-“

 _“You think I’m pretty.”_ The omega accused, scrunching his nose up and Chanyeol shouldn’t be amused when he was being teased, but he was. “You think I’m pretty? It’s okay. I think you’re nice looking too.”

Chanyeol chuckled to cover up the inappropriate need to lean over and pick up the omega when he splashed through a puddle as they crossed the street.

“Be careful what you say to alphas, Baekhyun. Your mouth will get you in a lot of trouble if you keep saying things like that.” He warned, reaching over to grab the apron from the omegas hand, just to hold it for him.

It turned out to be a rewarding move because Baekhyun wrapped both hands around Chanyeol's arm then, pressing into the alphas side much more inappropriately than he should, and Chanyeol was going to lose his mind if he learned Baekhyun was just like this with anyone.

It was obvious he was social, he had a lot to say, but all of his actions just shouted that he needed attention, and Chanyeol was possessive of things he liked - even if he _shouldn’t_ like them.

“I only talk to you, alpha. So don’t get me in trouble!” Baekhyun cried playfully, seemingly not finding anything wrong with his words.

But there was a lot wrong with his words.

Chanyeol couldn't possibly find that Baekhyun was serious, because he couldn’t picture the omega ever just sitting silent with how much he had rambled to him even just the first meeting.

But his actions pointed to the idea that Baekhyun was serious, very serious, because there was no reason for the omega to latch onto him so quickly other than just because he was lonely, and he must have deemed Chanyeol not much of a threat. 

Which was a huge mistake, but the alpha wasn’t about to point it out and potentially scare the omega off.

“You’ll be in trouble if you keep walking around alleys and non-public places,” Chanyeol muttered, turning to set the apron on the stair rail as they came to a halt outside Baekhyun's building.

He couldn’t help himself as he leaned down slightly to bring Baekhyun's chin up between his two fingers, thumb running over the smooth skin of the omegas chin, “A lot of trouble, darling. Don’t tell me you walk through them all the time, I will be very worried.”

Baekhyun stepped closer and Chanyeol wasn’t around enough omegas, despite living next door to a handful of omegas in his pack, to interpret the vibrating noise he felt Baekhyun make against his fingers. “What will you do?”

The omega eyed him, challenging, but searching as he voluntarily lifted his head closer to the alphas, Chanyeol's fingers moved to brush his jaw when Baekhyun got even closer. _“Will you hurt me, alpha?”_

Chanyeol’s nostrils flared, and he was sure Baekhyun was purposely shoving his scent out, but he clicked his tongue to stop himself from simply leaning over to kiss the omega while he had a chance.

“I could hurt you.” He whispered, and something about it had Baekhyun's lip perking up and he knew the omega was fully aware of his next words, “But I wouldn’t do that.”

“Why?”

Chanyeol didn’t really have an answer to his question, and if he did it would have sounded much too desperate than he could admit.

So, instead he pulled his face back and brushed Baekhyun's hair off his forehead, just as an excuse to feel the omegas soft skin. “Go to bed, little one. I’ll wait for you tomorrow.”

Baekhyun looked disappointed, but nodded as he grabbed his apron, but swished his mouth around and for once looked nervous. “I...I don’t work tomorrow.”

“Then I will see you Monday.” Chanyeol answered instantly, leaning on his elbow on the stair rail, and he didn’t even have it in him to hide how he was eyeing Baekhyun, because he was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. “Don’t pout, omega. I’ll see you soon.”

“Alpha,” Chanyeol didn’t usually feel so good to be called a common title, but he hummed and smiled anyways because Baekhyun's voice made everything sound so much better. “Can.. you can come see me.. tomorrow, here? We.. I -we can have.. food? And.. and-“

“Are you inviting a strange alpha into your home? You don’t even know my name, Baekhyun. That’s dangerous.”

“You don’t scare me.”

Chanyeol wanted to growl, he almost wanted to try and scare Baekhyun because the omega was so little, and he was too pure - he stood no chance in this world, and he truthfully had no idea how the omega made it this far.

But, he couldn’t bring himself to do it, because he didn’t want to see Baekhyun look at him in fear.

Baekhyun was the only person ever to have never looked at him in fear.

“Park Chanyeol is my name,” Chanyeol sighed, “And you know that name, don’t you? It’s dangerous, Baekhyun. I’m dangerous, and I can’t play games with you, okay?”

And then the omega looked mad, and even that was adorable. “I already knew. I always knew - your face is in the news, of course I know.” He cried, offended, “I’m not.. not playing games… are.. are you?”

They weren’t really arguing, Chanyeol didn’t think he could ever picture arguing with Baekhyun, and they also weren’t a couple - they weren’t really anything at all, but Baekhyun looked completely rejected, looked like Chanyeol wrung his heart out.

“I don’t _play_ games.” Chanyeol answered, sighing as he reached up a few steps to grab Baekhyun's hand, “I don’t play games, omega. So you’re.. I-I have no idea what you’re trying to do, but you’re playing with fire. Okay? And you need to be very careful, because I don’t play games with anything, do you understand?

This isn’t… fuck. I have no idea what I’m doing, Baekhyun. And I have no idea what you want, but I don’t play these fucking games. Okay? Do you understand me, sweetheart?”

Chanyeol wasn’t sure Baekhyun understood at all, but the omega nodded anyway, and clutched onto the alphas much larger hand, watching how Chanyeol ran his thumb over his knuckles, but didn’t dare squeeze even if his words may have come out more aggressive than needed.

“You’ll come see me tomorrow?” Baekhyun wondered, shifting his weight onto his toes as he looked up at Chanyeol, regardless that the stairs gave him a few more inches, he still needed to look up at the alpha. “I… I have… I can make us lunch?”

Chanyeol gulped, and he wasn’t scared of omegas - definitely wasn’t scared of omegas - but he’d never done as Baekhyun was suggesting.

Sex? _Easy._

Knotting? _Fine._

A date? _Never._

A date with an extremely beautiful omega that was completely ruining Chanyeol's stereotypes of omegas? _Never even in his dreams._

Chanyeol was a goddamn pack leader for god's sake, he was focusing on tearing other packs down, not trying to find a mate.

If he wanted to have sex all he needed to do was show up at a party and he’d get someone in his lap easily.

He never considered anything like this.

But Baekhyun was so hopeful, and he had a smile that screamed innocence and acceptance.

And topping all - Chanyeol wanted him so bad.

It wasn’t healthy, and it wasn’t a good thing.

But Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun the moment he saw those pretty chocolate eyes staring at him.

“I like meat. I like meat a lot, and I know omegas like sugar. I’ll bring you something sweet.” Chanyeol answered, and Baekhyun's face lit up, and if he paid more attention he would have noticed the omegas purring at his promise, but he was busy pulling his phone out of his pocket and ignoring his packs messages to give Baekhyun his phone to type into. “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby. Tomorrow at one, I’ll see you.”

Baekhyun couldn't have looked happier, and Chanyeol didn’t want to see him look at someone else so beamingly ever. “I-I.. okay! Okay, I’ll… alpha, I’ll see you!”

Chanyeol was tempted to kiss him, at least a small sign of affection, but he only grinned and squeezed Baekhyun's fingers and stepped off the stairs to shove his hands into his pockets and nod towards the building, “Go in, Baekhyun. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

“Okay, Chanyeol.”

And Chanyeol laughed at how fast Baekhyun rushed up into his apartment building, briefly wondering exactly what the omegas home looked like - was it as cute as he was? Small and full of life?

Maybe it would be the opposite and be darkly colored and dull, but Chanyeol couldn't picture Baekhyun living in such a place at all.

Guess he would see for himself tomorrow.


	3. Outrunning karma, that boy, he’s such a charmer

Chanyeol felt cheesy as fuck.

He was a _goddamn_ pack leader for fucks sake and here he was pulling up in his car outside Baekhyun's house wearing a button up that Luhan had forced on him as soon as he heard about his date.

Well, he hadn’t really heard shit, it was because the omega had sticky fingers and had no shame going through his phone while whining that Chanyeol never wanted to come to their house anymore.

It was a reminder of why Chanyeol was happy to live on his own next door to the pack house rather than with them all - even if more often than not he had the younger members running all around his home.

He didn’t really mind, even if he pretended to get mad at their youngest alpha for leaving toys for him to trip on.

They all went easy on Sehun though, because the thirteen year old had a hard life, and he was still new.

Chanyeol wouldn’t ever regret having Minseok take in the kid when they found him on the streets being forced to sell drugs - of course not.

Sehun was a bit of a hard topic, because he hadn’t just been given up or saved in trades as most of their younger ones had been, but they had basically stolen him - not that the youngest even cared at all, he was mostly shocked at getting his own bed, and his own toys, and not having to share with anyone but Jongin.

So, Chanyeol was weak for him, and when Luhan convinced Sehun to suck up to Chanyeol to wear it - he did.

But it was okay because he did, admittedly, think he looked decent.

Even if he felt even more awkward grabbing the bag of treats Kyungsoo had helped Junmyeon make - because apparently the omega really liked to cook - and they always let the omegas do whatever they found fun.

Baekhyun had texted him his floor and apartment number, and something about it seemed so intimate - or Chanyeol was just a huge softy, and was nervous as all hell - both of which were true.

That text was also the reason his pack was on him about sleeping with someone and not mentioning it - which wasn’t true (even if he kind of wished he and Baekhyun were sleeping together because the omega was gorgeous, and there was no way he would reject the opportunity) but he felt a lot less embarrassed when they teased him about sleeping with someone rather than dating someone.

Still, he cleared the air a little bit, and he was already growing tired of the older members' warning looks, because Chanyeol was very much aware of what he was getting into - and Baekhyun knew, so it wasn’t a secret.

Chanyeol wouldn’t ever try to deceive an omega - regardless if it was harmless or not - even Kyungsoo, their youngest and newest omega, had known who they were and the exact choices he had with them.

These things were important to explain, because they didn’t want to deceive anyone, didn’t want to hurt anyone other than those that they had to.

Or those that deserved it, but usually that was Chanyeol only because he had a temper when he didn’t get his way.

He shuffled on his feet as he knocked on the door, double checking the address on his phone before taking a deep breath and feeling ridiculous being so nervous over just _seeing_ Baekhyun.

_“Hi!”_

Chanyeol smiled, relaxing slightly as Baekhyun bounced in the doorway before throwing the door open with much more energy - and force- than needed, turning to run back in the house.

The alpha laughed and shook his head, because he shouldn’t have expected any differently from the ball of sunshine and took it upon himself to shut and lock the door behind him - mainly because he didn’t trust the omega to ever not lock the door behind him.

He really needed to talk some sense into Baekhyun, because the bouncing omega really needed to be more careful. He was lucky Chanyeol wasn’t the type to assault or even hurt him, because Baekhyun could have been tricked at any point.

“Making pasta! Almost burned it!”

Chanyeol chuckled, looking around, and wasn’t surprised at all with the colors around the room - every single wall covered in paintings. So much so that he could only tell the walls were a boring white by the baseboards.

“I -I just woke up too, so.. so I hope you don’t mind! I forgot to set my alarm!” The omega blurted, and Chanyeol snorted as he took a seat on the small island and leaned his head over to look into the very narrow, one person kitchen.

Baekhyun was adorable in his cafe uniform, but Chanyeol thought he looked downright dangerous for his heart in blue pajamas that dragged across the floor and sleeves he kept having to push up.

“You sleep until noon?” Chanyeol teased, placing his bag on the counter and smiling more fondly at Baekhyun's immediate sniff and wide eyes.

“I would sleep all day if I could,” The omega mumbled, spinning around to dig in the bag, “Cookies? I love cookies! You can bake?”

“One of my omegas made them,” Chanyeol cooed.

Baekhyun huffed, and Chanyeol raised a brow as the omega turned his back towards him to go back to his pasta when it was obvious he was going to eat the treats on the spot. “You have.. an omega?”

Chanyeol should have figured Baekhyun would assume such a thing, and he probably could have worded things ten times better than he had.

But Baekhyun jealous was cute, because he puffed his cheeks out to himself and had a small quirk in his forehead as he scrunched his face up sourly.

“I do.” Chanyeol said smoothly, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest, “I have more than one actually.”

He was mostly going to tease, see what Baekhyun would do, but the omegas face turned into a frown, and his hand that was stirring their food slowed, “Oh.” Baekhyun whispered dejectedly, and it wasn’t such a good idea anymore.

“He’s fifteen - the one that made you those, we just took him into our pack. And… and the oldest, his name is Luhan, and he wants to meet you really bad. And there’s also… there’s Yixing, he’s studying medicine, and there’s Zitao, he’s only sixteen.”

“Oh.” And this time it was immediately cheerier, and Chanyeol felt like he dodged a bullet - and he had, literally, done so before, and knew what it felt like.

“I think our youngest pack members would really want to see you. Luhan and Yixing don't have a lot of time to talk to them that often, so they’d be really happy if you came to play with them. Kyungsoo is new, and he’s pretty shy, so I think you’d do him some good if you talked to him a little bit.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun turned to the counter and set down two bowls, looking sheepish, and Chanyeol figured it was because of his fast assumption - even though it was completely Chanyeol's fault for making it seem that he had a mate already. “I.. I can talk to them, he must… must be scared.. did you.. you take him?”

“Of course not.” Chanyeol whispered, slightly offended, but at the same time he had no room to be when he was a known criminal, and Exo was known to steal omegas - not really stealing, but _saving_ \- not that any of the packs they came from lived to tell. “Kyungsoo.. he.. he was an offer, we didn’t - we’d never take it, you know.. that’s… he’s only fifteen..”

He didn’t need to detail it for Baekhyun, but the omega stared at him innocently, like he had no idea what Chanyeol was talking about.

And that was a mistake, and it was dangerous, because Baekhyun himself was an omega, and he needed to be _aware._

“Kyungsoo was taken in.. to be a breeder, was going to take one of those packs claims - but when we showed up they tried.. to give him to us, to claim. Baekhyun, I would never allow anyone of my omegas to be forced into a mating. I-I made some mistakes, in the past, and we’ve had some issues, but that hasn’t changed that we do not - and will never - rape or otherwise hurt our pack members, even if the media paints us as something else.”

“What.. mistakes?” Baekhyun whispered, and Chanyeol really wanted to see the omegas face if he was going to talk about things so serious, but Baekhyun was filling up their bowls.

“I.. Baekhyun, I can’t watch my pack all of the time. There’s a reason we have so many alphas - because we need the number to be the same or more than the omegas - for protection… but, but, you know.. sometimes things happen and I can- we can’t just.. trust people.”

Baekhyun raised a brow at him, and Chanyeol for some reason felt scolded, even as Baekhyun turned away to walk around the island and move to a tiny table by the living room.

It was only a small, two chaired table, but it looked brand new - and extremely out of place in the tiny living room - but Baekhyun was taking a seat anyways and Chanyeol knew a cue if he ever saw one and moved across from him.

“Zitao, my - I mean… he’s one of our youngests, we - when he was young… there used to be different alphas in our pack, and… and I thought we stood for the same things, you know? I had known the man… years, since school, and I trusted him to watch out for the omegas. I didn’t - I… Yifan, he had to kill him, I wasn’t even there, but… apparently, apparently he had been… been molesting Tao for a while, and he was too… the omega was too scared to tell anyone.”

“That’s not your fault. It’s not illegal.”

“But it’s wrong,” Chanyeol argued instantly, “It’s wrong.. he.. Tao must have been only twelve? Maybe thirteen at the time… I cant - we don’t just overlook stuff like that. Because he’s an omega doesn’t give an alpha reason enough to touch him like that. It doesn’t give anyone reason to touch anyone in a way they don’t want.”

_“I really like you, Chanyeol.”_

Chanyeol whipped his head up so fast he felt his spine pop when he straightened out, hand moving to push his food around because Baekhyun had a very intense stare for an omega. Very intimidating for someone wearing baby blue, cloud patterned pajamas and curls flying around his face, cheeks still puffy from sleep. “I think… I think you’re a very good person.”

“I’m a criminal, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol laughed humorlessly as he tried to cover up how hopeful the omega made him feel.

“So,” Baekhyun shrugged and Chanyeol had to look at him when he giggled because the omega looked so pretty, “Every alpha is a criminal, and you haven’t tried to touch me - or even call me names - so I think you must be really good.”

Chanyeol’s eye twitched at the admission, because it sounded a lot like Baekhyun was trying to admit something to him - and maybe the omega wasn’t as blind to the world as he originally thought, even if he was definitely not cautious enough.

“Plus, I think you’re really… really handsome, so that’s really nice too.”

The alpha snorted and threw his head back against the chair, looking at Baekhyun with a small smirk and lightly shook his head, “What a coincidence, I don’t usually chase after omegas, you have to be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen - not disappointed at all when I see you, darling.”

“I… I forgot to change,” Baekhyun grumbled lamely, but he looked more excited than anything as he pulled his knees into the chair with him and it seemed neither of them cared much about their food at the moment. “I’ll dress really pretty next time you see me, promise.”

“Trust me, baby.” Chanyeol cooed, “I like you very much, just like this. Beautiful, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun giggled loudly into his knee, and the alpha desperately wanted to tell him not to hide his face, because he really liked the boxiness of his mouth, and the pink of his lips.

Instead, Chanyeol shifted in his chair before laughing and tapping his hand on the table, “This new? Looks awfully new.”

Baekhyun mumbled something, but it was too hurried and muffled that Chanyeol raised a brow, confused.

“I..” Baekhyun lifted his head, and the omega wasn’t shy, but he had a light pink dusting his cheeks, “I thought… it’d be cute. We.. can have a date, like.. almost like at a restaurant, you know?”

Fuck, if Baekhyun wanted to have a fancy date then Chanyeol would take him anywhere he wanted to go as long as he was happy.

But, just the thought that Baekhyun went out last night to buy a table - just for this - was fucking endearing, touching, but also worrying, because it was long dark after Chanyeol left, and he was positive the omega didn’t have a car.

“Can I scent you?” Chanyeol needed a filter when he was around Baekhyun, because he never seemed to be able to stop himself. “You can’t just go out without an alphas scent - I… I just want it to be mine.. is that okay? Is it alright?”

“Only if.. we.. are dating? We can.. we can be  
together?”

Chanyeol sighed, and wanted to lay out everything in existence that he worried about with that, but the truth was he wanted nothing more - and he was afraid of a lot of things, more than he’d mention, but he couldn’t not accept Baekhyun.

He couldn’t not accept the omega when he looked at him so hopefully - just wanting to be able to claim they were together.

It was crude for him to picture a scar on Baekhyun's neck, and it was too hopeful of him to consider Baekhyun his mate when all the omega was asking of him was whether they would be dating - and the obvious answer was yes, they were dating because Chanyeol wouldn’t allow any other alpha to manipulate Baekhyun - but he also felt Baekhyun wasn’t just looking to date.

Maybe he was looking for something more too.

_“We can be together, Baekhyun.”_


	4. Would you love me more if I killed someone for you?

It was funny that they had been dating or “ _together_ ” as Baekhyun sweetly claimed well over a few months now, but Chanyeol had yet to even kiss the omega.

They had been together this long, and Chanyeol had yet to even come in and see Baekhyun at work, usually just waiting outside in his car or in the alley to take him home.

So, when Baekhyun was working a rather long, annoying shift full of alphas that mainly just came in to leer at him and his coworker Kihyun - who was already marked - he was really surprised to see Chanyeol come in with a few of his pack members, looking nothing but huge and powerful.

There was a reason Baekhyun never invited his boyfriend here though, and it wasn’t because he was worried about himself - not at all - but he was mostly worried about what _Chanyeol_ would do exactly if he saw what he and Kihyun had to put up with.

“Hottie at table ten, you should get this one.”

Baekhyun laughed under his breath, ducking his head when Chanyeol met his eyes across the room and instead turning to stomp on Kihyun’s foot, “That’s my _boyfriend.”_

The omega merely wiggled his brows, and Baekhyun knew how much the younger omega worried for him - he was pretty old to remain mateless, twenty was very old considering most omegas were arranged or forced into claims around teenage years.

He was lucky he had gotten off _easy_ for so long.

“Baekhyun, table ten.” He heard his boss call and was already working on grabbing menus, because it was obvious Kihyun would be taking over his other tables anyways.

Baekhyun couldn't really hide how excited he was as he bit into his lip and leaned over the table to start handing out menus, not even trying to be discreet as he stood over Chanyeol's back, “Hello.”

“Don’t need one,” Chanyeol mumbled, and Baekhyun giggled when he grabbed his arm, “Already know what I want, darling.”

Not for the first time, Baekhyun was reminded how much he really liked Chanyeol, “Too bad _I’m_ not on the menu.” He teased, sparing a quick nuzzle to Chanyeol's hair before he pulled away to finish passing out the few menus in his grip.

Baekhyun was really lucky his boss was a very sweet beta, and didn’t care at all when Kihyun’s mate, Hoseok, came in and the two displayed much more than they should in a workplace. So, he was positive Shownu wouldn’t care at all - even if the man was biased because both Kihyun and Hoseok were in his pack.

Either way, his boss was really kind, always watched out for them, so just once he was positive the beta wouldn’t mind if he slacked a little.

“Ouch,” Chanyeol growled playfully, but Baekhyun smiled wider to himself when he felt the alpha digging a hand discreetly into his jean pocket, pulling him a small bit closer to his side again.

_“You- my alpha did say you were so pretty!”_

Baekhyun hadn’t met much of the pack before, usually just the older members, but the alpha was fairly small, and thin, uncaring at all that Yifan growled at him to sit back down when he leaned over the older alphas lap. “Wow! You have to come play games with us!”

“Sehun, let's not get carried away,” Baekhyun watched an older beta scold, he was pretty certain this was Junmyeon, but Chanyeol had only shown him very blurry photos.

“We’re just here to visit, and then we need to go pick up Yixing from the college, remember? We asked you and Jongin a million times if you wanted to come or stay and play games.”

Baekhyun was trying to focus on watching Junmyeon and Yifan speak to the small alpha, but Chanyeol was making it really hard as he kept gently tugging on his clothes, because the alpha was needy - even if he denied so when Baekhyun teased him.

“This is- Soo, tell them it’s unfair!” Sehun cried suddenly, and Baekhyun truthfully hadn’t even noticed the small addition hidden in the middle of the booth curled in between Chanyeol and Yifan.

He was cute though, wide eyes and a heart shaped face, but he smelled of omega - very obviously was an omega, and Baekhyun knew who he was immediately, because Chanyeol always described Kyungsoo as really shy, small, but very sweet.

“I can play,” Baekhyun muttered, “I was coming over this weekend, in fact. Don’t worry, we can play.”

Sehun made an excited noise, ranting about how he needed to make a list of all the games they could play together, but Baekhyun was really mostly interested in Kyungsoo, watching the young omega fiddle with the menu awkwardly.

And Baekhyun couldn't imagine how hard it must be to be so young and have been in a position as Kyungsoo had.

Exo really did the right things, even if the media said they didn’t, and even if Baekhyun was probably the most _biased_ person in the world.

But, was it really biased to think they were right not to allow an omega to be raped? To not allow an omega to be forced into a claim?

According to the law, it wasn’t wrong to do either of those things. And that’s probably why Kyungsoo looked so nervous to be outside, even if he was with the best people for protection.

Baekhyun couldn't exactly calm his nerves, because most of the time he was scared to be outside too.

“You’re very quiet.” Baekhyun said, fingers combing Chanyeol's hair as the alpha looked through his menu, “Very pretty. You’re very pretty, Kyungsoo.”

The omega blushed instantly, and Baekhyun thought the way he peeked over his menu was adorable, but he didn’t have to be shy with him - because they were the same, and they were safer with each other.

“See! Jonginnie tells Soo he’s so pretty all the time - but he doesn’t believe him! Baekhyun is a big omega, so he knows! And he’s pretty, so he doesn’t lie!”

Baekhyun snorted, but he didn’t feel the need to correct Sehun when the teenager was already getting scolded for being obnoxious.

“Mhm. Baekhyun must know best because he’s so _pretty,_ I'll agree to that.”

Chanyeol on the other hand, he completely could scold so Baekhyun tugged on his ear just to see the alpha cringe as if he really hurt him, when they both knew it wasn’t possible. “Liar.”

“I…” It must not have been that common Kyungsoo spoke up, because even Sehun stopped whining to pay attention, “.. you’re pretty too, our alpha talks about you a lot.. so.. thank you for taking care of him.”

Baekhyun smiled, and didn’t even have it in him to attempt to pull the menu off the omegas face because he saw the pink of Kyungsoo's ears and knew that he must be so embarrassed.

And Chanyeol looked a bit embarrassed too, but he only continued rubbing Baekhyun's hip, and avoided his eyes.

“You’re so cute, I’ll make sure you get something really sweet. I’ll get you a really good hot chocolate, Soo. Lots of sugar, it’s really good - as an omega I can vouch for it.”

He saw Kyungsoo peek his eyes out, and swore he heard a small laugh, but it was as much of a reaction as Baekhyun was probably going to get.

It was cute either way, so Baekhyun just pulled out his notebook and started writing down orders all the while Chanyeol growled his disapproval at the smallest of moves the omega made away from him.

Baekhyun also thought his boyfriend was really cute too.

“Can you take a break?” Chanyeol asked quietly as Baekhyun ripped off their order sheet, “You look like you could use one, baby.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips and grabbed Chanyeol's arm to check the watch on the alphas wrist, and it was later than he normally took his break, so he nodded, smiling to himself when Chanyeol squeezed his side before letting him go.

“I’ll be right back,” Baekhyun mumbled, ruffling Sehun's hair over the booth because the young alpha pouted when he started walking away.

“You good if I take a break?” He asked as he walked back behind the counter to hang up the orders, “What's wrong?” He inquired again when Kihyun didn’t answer.

“Table three.” His coworker muttered, pressing into his side as Baekhyun started removing his notepad and pen to place on the counter, “They're just, you know. A bit strong.”

“You should tell Shownu to take care of them, or Changkyun… he might be back by now.” Baekhyun worried. “I can… I can wait to take my break, I’m sure it’s okay.”

Kihyun frowned and shook his head, bumping Baekhyun's arm, “Nah. It’s fine, go get ‘em. I’ll just wait for then like you said. Your alpha is making heart eyes over here and also vaguely looking like he might rip my head off because you’re standing so close.”

Baekhyun laughed into his sleeve at that, but Chanyeol looked away as soon as he was acknowledging him, “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let him do that to you!” He teased, sliding around the counter and reaching his fingers behind him to untie his apron, walking his way back to the other side of the cafe.

He didn’t get far before an arm was shooting out and rather rudely stopping him in his tracks. “Omega. We need more sugar at this table.”

Baekhyun didn’t know if it was supposed to be some time of innuendo, joke, or what, but the group started cackling and he frowned as he looked at the three engraved on the table and immediately understood what Kihyun was talking about.

“Sorry. I’m actually on break right now. You’ll have to ask someone else, so… if you’ll excuse me.”

He knew it wasn’t that easy, it was never that easy for omegas.

“Now, now. You were giving that alpha across the room lots of sugar. You for sale or what?”

Baekhyun huffed angrily as the arm blocking him placed a hand on his bare skin, and felt like he was burned as he moved to jump away but a second hand brushed inappropriately across his ass. “Don’t _touch_ me.”

“Aw, he said don’t touch him.” One of the three alphas mocked.

“Seriously. Stop it.” Baekhyun warned, but nobody took an omega seriously, even if he was warning more for their sake than his own.

“Omega, you’re going to be-“

“He’s going to _what?”_

Baekhyun tried to warn them, so this was their own doing.

“Well? What is my omega going to do for you? Huh? _Speak up!”_

Chanyeol hissed a noise Baekhyun had never heard, and knew his boyfriend must be holding back a lot, because he had never seen his eyes bleed red so fast. “Baekhyun, get behind me.”

Baekhyun trusted Chanyeol, so if he told him to do something - especially so angry - he did it immediately, instantly curling his hands into the back of Chanyeol's shirt and pressing into his spine.

“Now. I’ll ask you one last time, what the hell do you think you’re doing with _my_ omega?”

Honestly, Chanyeol's voice wasn’t more than a hiss, but even that was threatening enough because it was obvious he was holding back so much.

And it was quickly broken when the alpha was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a switchblade, even Baekhyun flinched despite knowing the alpha tended to be well armed.

“I said what the fuck are you doing! Who the fuck do you think you are? You trying to touch my mate, huh? I ought to _kill_ you right now! Right now!”

Baekhyun saw the alphas flinch, and a sick part of him was glad they looked afraid, even if it was mostly because Chanyeol could be terrifying, and he was waving a knife around.

“Chanyeol,” Yifan drawled, and Baekhyun shared a look with the alpha a few tables down.

A look that told Baekhyun he was the only one that was going to make sure these alphas got out of here alive, and a part of him… _didn’t really want them to._

Who was to say they wouldn’t go assaulting others? Who was to promise Chanyeol had scared them enough?

But, he knew Yifan was right, and letting Chanyeol kill three alphas in his workplace didn’t look very good - even if it wasn’t illegal, and even if he knew Shownu probably would just be happy he wasn’t hurt.

It just… didn’t feel right.

“Chanyeol.” The alpha reacted more to Baekhyun than he did Yifan, even if they had only said the same things. “Alpha, let's go eat. Let’s… let’s go sit down.”

“They tried to touch you,” Chanyeol growled, and the sound tumbled throughout Baekhyun's entire chest as he wrapped around Chanyeol's waist tightly.

“Alpha… I - I’m hungry. You’ll feed me, right? I… I might pass out, Chanyeol. I feel like I might pass out.”

Baekhyun was a shitty liar, but it was true he felt a bit sick from being on his feet so long, so when Chanyeol was snarling once more at the alphas, but folding his knife away and making sure they ran out, Baekhyun felt a lot better.

He felt even better when Chanyeol was turning to pick him up, obviously worried even if his eyes were still an angry red as he walked them back to their booth.

The pack stayed pretty quiet, even Sehun, but Baekhyun suspected it had more to do with the youngest playing games on Junmyeons phone rather than because he could smell the tension.

Baekhyun shifted a small bit, just enough to spread his thighs more comfortably around Chanyeol's hips, and the alpha growled a warning at his movement; so, he just relaxed limply on Chanyeol's chest, fingers moving to curl into the ends of the alphas hair, smiling probably much more dopily than he was going for at Kihyun when the omega started bringing their food and ended up setting Baekhyun's wallet and keys on the side of the table too.

It was a smart choice, because it didn’t seem like Chanyeol was going to let him finish the rest of his shift.

“That… really cool.”

Baekhyun hummed and turned his head to the side to look at Kyungsoo, and this close he could see just how small the omega was even at fifteen. “What was that?”

“I… I could _never_ tell them no.” The omega mumbled, a few crumbs from his muffin on his cheek.

“I’ll tell you what you do,” Baekhyun whispered like it was a secret even though he knew everyone at the table could hear them. “Do you want to know?”

Kyungsoo's eyes got wider, if even possible, as he nodded quickly.

“You play along,” Baekhyun heard Chanyeol hiss at him, but ignored it. “You do that, and then as soon as they think you’re listening - you _scream,_ and you _scream, and scream_ \- scream until your throat won’t anymore. And then Chanyeol will come for you - Yifan, maybe even Sehun by then. And you still scream, you _keep_ screaming until you can’t anymore, do you understand?”

It was too realistic, and Baekhyun should feel a small bit of guilt telling Kyungsoo that, but who was he kidding? He knew, Chanyeol knew, Junmyeon knew - everyone knew what would happen to a lone omega, even young Kyungsoo.

And that was the sad world they were in.

“Have to _get lucky.”_ The younger omega whispered to himself, and didn’t look like he was scared at Baekhyun’s words at all, only turning back to the table to grab his hot chocolate.

And Baekhyun sighed, felt like a huge weight was just taken off his shoulders as he set up to press his nose into Chanyeol's cheek, “You just have to get lucky.” He echoed, pressing his lips to the alphas cheek in what he hoped was a thankful motion.

Chanyeol hummed and brought a piece of his own bagel to Baekhyun's lips, so the omega was pretty sure it was interpreted accordingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the support, I was very nervous about starting a new story! Please continue to tell me your thoughts!


	5. If you wanna go then I’ll be so lonely

Baekhyun had been to the packs house a few times now, playing games with Sehun, because the alpha always seemed to sniff him out even if he was rooms over.

But, he didn’t really get to go to Chanyeol's house all that much.

Usually because the pack members liked to steal all his time when Chanyeol tried to sneak him in, and Baekhyun was fine with that, he really liked them even if his alpha thought they were annoying and had numerous threats for them when they wouldn’t leave them alone.

They thought the solution would be solved if they just snuck Baekhyun to Chanyeol's house without giving the pack any warning, and Chanyeol had been pretty proud when he thought they had won, kissing all over Baekhyun's cheek and checking to make sure the door was locked about five times before rushing upstairs to take a quick shower - telling Baekhyun to do whatever he wanted and that he’d be fast.

Chanyeol’s house was pretty bland.

Honestly, Baekhyun needed to spruce up the place, and maybe Chanyeol would even let him paint on his walls because he, sadly, couldn’t do so in his own apartment since he didn’t own the place.

But Chanyeol owned his own house - and it was the perfect size. Not too big like the pack house, but also not too small, it was just… normal.

And Baekhyun had been pretty surprised how normal and how very obviously empty it was considering his boyfriend was rich, and a criminal, and he at least expected the place to have a few expensive vases or weapons on the walls - it was very presumptuous of him to think so.

The truth was it was just… a home. 

It was just a home that very obviously was lonely, nothing like the chaos that was going on in the pack house, even if Chanyeol had toys scattered about and a guest room that literally had Jongin written on the walls because apparently the second youngest used to be very bad about finding markers.

And Chanyeol hadn’t ever covered it up because - he claimed - he was too lazy.

But Baekhyun knew it was just because Chanyeol thought it was cute.

Chanyeol was _lonely,_ he didn’t admit it, but it was obvious in the way he just took everyone in, shown in the way he just let the kids make messes all over the house and didn’t tell them to clean it up, because his alpha was the type of person that liked to memorize events, so he let them sit for a while.

Baekhyun had even been on the phone with Chanyeol on multiple occasions when the alpha was walking next door to go steal a few of the kids to come stay with him, but if Baekhyun asked if he was lonely Chanyeol always denied as much, claiming that the kids missed him and liked to stay the night every once in a while.

Which wasn’t necessarily true if the way Sehun whined when Chanyeol tried to convince him and Jongin to stay the night said anything.

“What are you doing, honey?”

Baekhyun wanted to laugh as he saw Zitao seated on the floor in the kitchen, and he didn’t need to ask how the teenager got in when the door combination was known by everyone in the pack.

“Eating all Chanyeol's fruit.” The younger omega answered, and Baekhyun snorted as he took a seat on the tile and looked Zitao over.

He was always a little amazed how very large Zitao was for an omega.

From far away he looked to be the same size as Jongin, who was two years younger than him, but an alpha.

Zitao just looked _very_ un-omega like, looked very strong. But up close it was easier to tell, much easier to tell.

Because Zitao didn’t look very threatening, didn’t have the piercing eyes Minseok had or the blatantly scary scent Yifan had.

“Any reason we’re eating raspberries on the floor?” Baekhyun asked, reaching out to snatch a few more berries.

Zitao didn’t give him much of a response, and Baekhyun never really spoke to the omega that much in the first place - Zitao tended to hang out more with Yifan and Yixing out of all of them, so it wasn’t that surprising the omega wasn’t comfortable to talk to him.

“Have you… you ever had anything _bad_ happen to you?”

Baekhyun twisted his lips and didn’t feel all that hungry anymore, “I’ve been very _lucky,_ Taozi.”

Zitao just stared at him, and Baekhyun momentarily mused that maybe he was wrong because the omegas stare did feel slightly threatening. “You’re lying.”

“I’ve never had what happened to you happen to me.” Baekhyun amended.

“I didn’t… you know, I was… I thought I was safe here.”

“You’re safe with Chanyeol. You’re safe with the pack, right?” Baekhyun questioned, and he was worried for a second Zitao was about to tell him a huge secret, and his heart pounded in his throat in fear of what it could be.

But the younger only nodded, “Yeah. It’s better now.”

“That’s good. I heard you started doing some martial arts, that’s a really good thing to learn. When you get good I really want to see it.”

Baekhyun was obviously attempting to change the subject, because he felt it wasn’t his place to, in a way, parent the younger members - because he wasn’t pack - and for some reason that thought stung.

_“I killed him.”_

“Who?”

“The alpha,” Zitao mumbled, and Baekhyun knew that this time it was a real secret because Zitao leaned over and hushed his voice, “Yifan said it was him…. to protect me, but… but it was me. I-I _scratched_ him and I just.. I didn’t stop, is it bad? I didn’t stop, Baekhyun. He just… I just killed him and I still didn’t stop.”

“No.” Baekhyun frowned and reached out to cup Zitaos cheek, “No. That's really smart. It’s very, very good. I’m really proud of you, actually. You’re a real hero, Taozi. If you didn’t stop it then who knew if he would have done the same to someone else? What if it was Kyungsoo? What if it was one of your older brothers? Luhan? Yixing? _You’re a real hero,_ and they should know that you did that to protect them, and yourself.”

Zitao stared at him, and it was a shame Baekhyun didn’t talk to him as much as he did the others because Zitao looked like he held a lot in as he sniffed, and nodded before scrunching up his face and leaning down to rest his head in Baekhyun's lap, crying.

Baekhyun sighed, reaching down to comb the youngers hair, and rubbing gently at his cheek. “You’re really strong, Zitao. You’ll be a really good brother to them, protect them. Omegas can be strong too, you just taught _me_ that. You taught me something new, it’s a really nice feeling, honey.”

When Chanyeol finally got out, it was a good half hour later, and Baekhyun would normally dig right into teasing him for taking forever, but he was really busy purring the younger to sleep in his lap.

“What are you two doing?” The alpha snorted, but he was already kneeling down to gather Zitao up because the omega was out like a light. “Baek, as the older one I would expect you not to be eating on the cold floor, but I guess you’re the bad influence.”

Baekhyun giggled, and shook his head as he gathered the container to toss back into the fridge, quickly rushing into the living room to watch Chanyeol lay Zitao down in the recliner.

“I’m a bad influence.” Baekhyun sighed dramatically, throwing himself down to spread out on the couch, rolling onto his back and opening his arms wide.

Chanyeol was huge, and the alpha obviously thought he was amusing to assume he would lay on Baekhyun's chest.

He humored Baekhyun anyway and carefully laid down between his legs, but just as Baekhyun thought he’d actually crush him, Chanyeol rolled them over, shushing Baekhyun's giggles softly just to keep Zitao sleeping peacefully.

“What’d he come here for?” Chanyeol whispered, pressing his lips gently to Baekhyun's forehead and nosing at his temple.

Baekhyun hummed, “Watch movies with us.”

It was obviously a lie as neither of them had even told the pack they were coming - much less discussed a movie night.

And Chanyeol could tell when he lied, so Baekhyun knew he didn’t believe him.

But his alpha only hummed, smoothing down the back of his shirt before pressing a kiss dangerously close to Baekhyun's mouth, so close the omega turned his head with the intention of capturing his, but Chanyeol was already pulling away with a teasing grin. “Take a nap, baby. And then you can tell me later.”

Baekhyun hit his arm for being so teasing, but threw his leg over Chanyeol's hip more comfortably anyways, because he really liked to be held by Chanyeol.

~~~~~~

Yifan came to pick up Zitao later, looking much more concerned than normal when he came running in looking for him, and it was really cute, and Baekhyun felt like teasing the two another day when he was less Chanyeol obsessed.

Because he was very obsessed with the alpha today, even more so after their nap, even if Yifan had interrupted it loudly, then proceeded to snatch Zitao and leave without so much as an apology.

Baekhyun was only slightly grumpy about it though, because as soon as he heard the door relocking he saw Chanyeol's eyes shut to go back to sleep and whined because he wasn’t tired anymore at all.

“Alpha,” He pouted and nosed at Chanyeol's neck, getting a tired rumble from the alpha.

“Mate, just calm down, baby. Sleep a little more.” Chanyeol grumbled, blindly running his fingers over the soft skin peeking out from the collar of Baekhyun's shirt, “Sh. I’m here. Sleep.”

Baekhyun huffed a whine, but listened, and instead focused more on running his fingers over the side of Chanyeol's neck, pressing his cheek down to the alphas chest and angling his head to look up at him.

Even though his body was relaxed, and he was growing a bit tired again just at the song Chanyeol was tapping into his skin, his mind was pulling him awake excitedly.

The alpha let it slip a number of times. More times than Baekhyun could even really count, and it was an amazing feeling - a very elated feeling to know Chanyeol wanted him as a mate, because Baekhyun knew the moment he met the alpha that he didn’t want any other mate.

“You want me to be your omega?”

“Hm..” Chanyeol was obviously still half asleep, humming to acknowledge Baekhyun before his mind raced to catch up. “You’re my omega. My baby. Let’s sleep.”

Baekhyun snorted at the request, and thought it was ridiculous how quick Chanyeol was waking up when he placed his palms on the couch beside the alphas head to sit up. “No. I mean.. mates. You keep calling me your mate. Are we… we going to mate?”

“What?” The alpha whispered, and Baekhyun frowned as he began to sit up. “Huh?”

“You.. you.. keep-“

“Baek, I heard you.” Chanyeol whispered, rubbing his eyes before realizing he might have sounded a bit mad, “I heard you, baby.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows at his tone, and hated that Chanyeol was scooting him off his lap to set him on his own couch cushion. “Okay? And.. I just, Chanyeol… I just wanted to..”

He trailed off with a small flop of his hand in between them, and he felt a little bad when Chanyeol leaned over on his knees like he was in deep thought.

Chanyeol didn’t respond, wasn’t responding, and Baekhyun was beginning to feel pretty awkward, felt a bit of a weight settle on his shoulders and felt really stupid.

Because there was no way Chanyeol would ever want him. _Why would he?_

The man had so many choices in mates, out of all of them, why would he choose Baekhyun?

 _So this is it then,_ Baekhyun mused to himself and shook his head as he jumped off the couch.

All these months and it comes down to this.

He walked over to the counter to grab his wallet and the bag of spare clothes he brought because he was sure he’d be staying here a few days, his steps angry, and even his tears fell angrily down his cheeks.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asked frantically, standing from the couch to watch Baekhyun slide his shoes on.

“You knew I was in this.” Baekhyun whispered, knowing Chanyeol should be able to hear him perfectly fine, “You knew that! Why be with me when you know I’m looking for a mate - I’m not… I’m not looking for this!” He cried, motioning between them and sucking in a huge breath when Chanyeol was running over.

“I can’t be with you,” Baekhyun growled, laying a hand on Chanyeol's chest and looking up at him with a pitiful sniff, “if you don’t want a mate - I can’t be with you! I won’t… I won’t just be an unclaimed omega forever, I can’t! I can’t and you know it! You’re the one that tells me everything is _dangerous_ \- yo… you’re the one, so look at me and tell me that I should just… just what? Just be your fuck toy? So you can use me? Me? Chanyeol, I … I really _wanted_ you!”

“Stop,” Chanyeol requested, but it was more of a beg as he laid his hand against the door above Baekhyun's head, “Stop - you really… you really think I’d do that? What, do you want me to toss you around? Did you expect me too? You’re so… you’re just generalizing all alphas now!”

“And who’s fault is that!” Baekhyun screamed, “Yours! I’ve never been scared of alphas before in my life, but you had to go, and you had to tell me all these things - point out all these things- and… and _you’re right! You’re right, I’m scared, Chanyeol!_ And I need an alpha that won’t treat me like shit, and I thought it was you,” He sighed and took a deep breath because he could feel all the blood rush to his face, “apparently not.”

Chanyeol clenched his jaw shut and didn’t give Baekhyun any time at all before he was lifting the omega up and pressing his back against the door, adjusting Baekhyun's legs around his waist and pressing his nose right against the smallers. “I hate seeing you cry, _stop_ it. It.. please stop, we can talk, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun growled at him, pressing his forehead more firmly to Chanyeol's and blinking the tears down his face, “Fuck you.”

“Don’t make assumptions.” Chanyeol murmured, “Don’t assume that I was thinking the worst. Maybe I was thinking about how pretty you’d look with my bite, or maybe it was how good of a mate you would be - maybe even how fucking pissed - how absolutely feral I would be if I ever saw you with someone else. I’d _kill_ them, Baekhyun. I’d kill them because you’re mine, and that’s how it’s going to stay because I’m possessive, and I might scare you sometimes, and I might even be too much for you to handle - but that doesn’t change that you’re fucking mine, and you’re going to stay that way as long as you want to be. If it’s forever then that’s perfectly fucking fine, because I don’t want you to ever be with anyone else. Do you hear me?”

Chanyeol’s hand came up to brush the tears dripping off Baekhyun's chin, relying on the door to hold Baekhyun up to his chest. “I won’t see you with anyone else.”

“You don’t scare me,” Baekhyun growled, almost seeming like he was going to snap his teeth at Chanyeol's finger, but he only leaned into it more. “You’re not fucking _scary,_ alpha.”

“Good, that’s fucking amazing. I never try to scare you-“

Chanyeol growled as Baekhyun forced his mouth down on his, all teeth and pressure as he wrapped his arm around the back of Chanyeol's neck.

The omega snapped teeth at his lips, and it was obvious that he was still pissed, absolutely livid, and Chanyeol couldn't blame him because he knew Baekhyun got worried quickly, and he was fast to jump to the worst assumptions, it was probably mostly the alphas fault.

But Chanyeol kissed him back with twice as much strength; after all, Baekhyun claimed he was never afraid of him, so there was no need to hold back his deep snarling into the omegas lips, and no need to pretend he wanted anything more than Baekhyun.

And Baekhyun obviously wanted him too, wanted him more than Chanyeol was willing to go when they were both so angry.

He hadn’t ever smelled Baekhyun's slick before, and it was so, so tempting, causing him to suck on the omegas tongue more longer than he should, to nip at his swollen lips harder than he should because Baekhyun only purred noises to spur him on further, challenging sounds as if he wasn’t doing good enough.

The amount of slick dripping down his thigh was proof he was doing more than enough.

But, Chanyeol was an alpha, and they both were worked up, both were still upset. So he had to pull away before he couldn’t anymore, had to remove his mouth from the smallers to breathe and pant into Baekhyun's cheek, pressing a few stray kisses to his skin as he carefully cradled the omega to his chest and took a seat on the floor, legs weak from how badly he wanted Baekhyun.

He hadn’t ever wanted someone so much in his life.

“Stay with me,” Chanyeol whispered, swollen lips pressing to Baekhyun's ear, “Don't leave me, Baekhyun.”

There was no reason they couldn’t have sex right now, there was nothing stopping Chanyeol from fucking the omega right here on the ground because he smelled too good to even make it to his room.

Baekhyun wanted it, rutted against his hip and sighed when Chanyeol didn’t do much but run his hand over his spine beneath his shirt.

But there was no rush. They didn’t have to rush into this. They didn’t have any pressure telling them they needed to mate right this second.

And Chanyeol was holding back a lot even now, just pressing his lips to Baekhyun's shoulder, so close to where he would wear his claim - and Baekhyun wanted that too, wanted to be his mate.

They didn’t have to have sex to be mates, and they didn’t need a claim to be mates.

Chanyeol already knew Baekhyun was his mate, already knew he wouldn’t want anyone else from day one.

But they could wait a while.

Hopefully he would have the self control to do so, because Baekhyun needed to be sure that he wanted to be stuck with him.

Because once Chanyeol had him, there wasn’t anything in the world that would make him give up his claim on Baekhyun.

“You’re mine.”

Chanyeol didn’t have anything to say to Baekhyun, because he was right.

_He belonged to Baekhyun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know the songs the chapter title quotes are from?


	6. I’ll be your lover and I’ll hold your hand

Baekhyun didn’t know how long he’d been at Chanyeol’s house.

Honestly, other than being dropped off at work, or picked up, he hadn’t any idea how many days he had been here.

It was to the point where he was drowning in Chanyeol's clothes if he wasn’t in his work uniform, and he was more than a hundred percent positive that the alpha wasn’t showing him where his washer was just because he liked to see him trip over Chanyeol's pajama pants.

Baekhyun, even if he nearly cracked his face on the floor a few times, really liked it too.

Liked it a lot more now that they were at least on the same page as each other, because Baekhyun had been pretty uncertain about how much he should push, or if he was being too much - too needy towards an alpha that potentially didn't want to mate with him.

Because Baekhyun had been obvious since the beginning that he wanted nothing more than to be Chanyeol's mate.

He knew it had to be him.

No alphas asked if an omega was okay, it was more likely they’d save - and turn around to rape the omega themselves.

But Chanyeol asked if he was _okay,_ and he asked if he was _hurt,_ and that could only mean Baekhyun had found a really good alpha.

And had gotten really lucky, as Kyungsoo would say.

The truth was Baekhyun had been really afraid in that alleyway, he had been shaking, and felt like he was going to puke because he couldn’t find his breath to run away before Chanyeol was finished attacking the other alpha.

He had planned to run, take the opportunity to run away, but Chanyeol was fast - and was saying such… very un-alpha like things.

Why should he care if that man had been trying to rape Baekhyun?

Why would he even bother to save him?

Baekhyun didn’t care about the answers anymore, because the truth was that Chanyeol was just… he was good, and he was kind.

Chanyeol didn't need a reason to help people, he just did, and Baekhyun loved that about him.

So, now that Baekhyun knew that eventually they would be mates, it felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.

He didn’t have to hold back at all - not that he did that much, but he did in certain areas.

Areas that were more touchy than needed, areas that pushed the line of boyfriend and future mate like anything less than an innocent touch on the neck, anything more than fingers brushing against the sensitive skin.

Baekhyun just wanted Chanyeol to not hold back as much now, wanted the alpha to display his intent more obviously.

After all, Baekhyun had accidentally - or not so accidentally - slickened for the alpha, and he wouldn't have been mad at all if Chanyeol had taken him then and there, but it was a big deal for Baekhyun to have given a part of himself away like that.

He only ever thought he would be forced to slicken in an attack, not because he was so angry and turned on.

Chanyeol was something _odd._

And Baekhyun really wanted him, but he was scared.

Scared that Chanyeol would bite him and then later take it away, that he’d get rid of him for someone else.

Because alphas had the power to do so, and then Baekhyun would end up right where he started - looking for a mate, only this time it would be with a heavy heart and full of rejection and fear.

Baekhyun just really wanted Chanyeol to love him.

The omega chewed his lip, and knew he could be pushing Chanyeol too hard, knew that just maybe he was being too much, could potentially scare the alpha off.

But he wanted to see how much the alpha could handle too.

So, he glanced down at his bare feet, shuffling in place for a moment outside Chanyeol's office door, and he knew the alpha could hear him outside the hallway, if he stood here long enough then Chanyeol was probably going to come out laughing and wondering why he was just standing out here.

Baekhyun smiled at the thought, pushing a stray curl behind his ear as he pushed the door open, lip turning red at the nervous pressure he was placing on it.

Chanyeol was only sitting at his desk, a glass of alcohol swirling in his hand and a stack of papers in the other.

He didn’t even glance up at Baekhyun, and the omega pouted to himself.

“Finally decided to come in, baby?” The alpha purred, bringing his glass to his lips and glancing up at the doorway and back at his papers before he furrowed his brows and looked back up again.

Baekhyun smiled coyly as Chanyeol dropped his papers on the desk, crossing his arms over his chest, fingers toying with the end of his sleeves. “Hi.”

Chanyeol smiled, and Baekhyun hated and was obsessed with the half lidded gaze the alpha did when he sat back in chairs, looking at him appreciatively, but burning. “Did you have a good day at work? Minseok texted and said he and Jongdae picked you up today, they stole the chance before I could.”

“I took a shower,” Baekhyun mumbled, shifting a few feet closer even though they had an entire room in between them, “Because I know you don’t like when I don’t smell right.”

“I don’t like when you smell different,” Chanyeol agreed, licking his bottom lip and placing his arms on the armrests of his leather chair. “Is this a special occasion?”

Baekhyun just wanted him to do something already, anything at this point. “No.”

“No?” The alpha mused, flicking his eyes from Baekhyun's bare legs to his face, “Then why are you undressed? Just a shirt… doesn’t help me control myself, beautiful. You just love to tease your alpha.”

“Just you.” Baekhyun giggled and wavered on his feet before wringing his hands together and walking over to the desk. “Just for my alpha.”

Chanyeol purred, but didn’t do much but push his papers to the side and tap his fingers on the desk, looking heatedly at Baekhyun in invitation.

The omega accepted immediately, holding the edge of his shirt down and climbing onto the red wood desk, he originally was going to cross his legs, and he felt somewhat embarrassed that his attempt didn’t seem to do much more than give him more attention, but Chanyeol grabbed his ankles before he could, straightening out his legs so his feet rested on Chanyeol's thighs.

Baekhyun made an embarrassed noise as the alpha pulled him more towards the end of the desk directly in front of him, large hands warming his calves. He squeaked in surprise and hurried to hold the front of his shirt down.

“Huh?” Chanyeol mused, teasing to his tone as he watched the pink bleed into Baekhyun's cheeks, “More surprises, my love?”

The omega bit his lip nervously, dropping his head to look at his feet resting in a dangerous area on the alphas lap, could feel Chanyeol's warmth pouring off of him and took a deep breath, “Not… I’m not- nothing under…”

Instead of getting a huge reaction like he expected, Chanyeol merely chuckled, and Baekhyun felt fingers run across his cheek until they rested at his chin to lift his face up, “I _know._ You wouldn’t be this nervous if you were wearing something under, I have seen you in boxers and a shirt before, lovely omega.”

Baekhyun pouted his lips and turned to hide his face in Chanyeol's palm and decided then and there that he felt much more hidden in the alphas hand. “Surprised?”

“Alpha is so surprised, what are you trying to do, Baekhyun? My hearts going to burst if you keep this up.” Chanyeol teased, running his fingers over Baekhyun's face once more before removing them to grab his glass.

The omega whined at the lack of touch, and Chanyeol wouldn’t ever be able to deny that any noises Baekhyun made he was finely tuned into.

So, to calm him down he started running his hand up and down Baekhyun's leg, eyeing his reaction over his glass as he downed the alcohol.

Baekhyun looked both sheepish and very relaxed, leaning over his lap more, but letting go of his shirt.

Because he trusted Chanyeol wouldn’t do anything without explicit permission, and the alpha smiled at the move as he set the glass down, all at once grabbing the edge of Baekhyun's sweater to pull him closer, basically only sitting on the corner of the desk.

“Alpha!” Baekhyun laughed, ears pinkening as he reached out to hold Chanyeol's shoulders for balance, it was either this or he was falling face first into the alphas chest - which was completely okay, but Chanyeol was very muscular so it would probably hurt quite a bit more than he would like.

“Just seeing you, baby.” Chanyeol teased, lowering his head to peck Baekhyun's nose, then forehead, his own nose resting in the omegas hair as he took a deep breath in.

Baekhyun's lips parted and he shot his face up for a kiss immediately, so fast Chanyeol couldn't help the - very un-alpha - approving chirp he pressed into Baekhyun's mouth.

The omegas intentions were always obvious in his kisses, they always showed what he wanted, needed, or what his emotions were, and Baekhyun didn’t have anything he could hide in his kisses.

Chanyeol really liked that he could always read the omegas expressions, and if he couldn’t all he needed to do was kiss his pretty lips and find out - which never was a bad thing.

Baekhyun smiled into his mouth, and Chanyeol didn’t even bother to stop pressing kisses to his mouth even if it had admittedly turned into teeth, he just liked to feel Baekhyun giggle against his lips.

But, the omega pulled away to adjust his legs, and Chanyeol almost lost his mind when Baekhyun spread his knees on either side of him - but his future mate was much more innocently minded than him - and Baekhyun only dropped down into Chanyeol's lap, sending a pure, beaming smile up at him when he adjusted himself to sit back on the alphas thighs, “More comfortable.”

Chanyeol was much more comfortable to have Baekhyun perched on his lap too, but the omega made no room to adjust his sweater, and he could see that it had bunched up in his move, all his thighs on show up to his hips, and even then Chanyeol swore he could feel the bare nakedness of the omegas ass situated on his leg.

“You're killing me,” He groaned in response, cautiously spreading his palm over Baekhyun's thigh, high on his thigh, nearing his hip, “Baekhyun. You're a demon, I swear.”

Baekhyun smiled, much too innocent to how nude he was and wrapped his hand around Chanyeol's fingers, but instead of pulling them away from his skin as the alpha had figured, Baekhyun sat up on his knees, pressing their chests together and laying Chanyeol's palm on the back of his thigh, “Trust you, alpha.”

Chanyeol frowned, and wanted to scold Baekhyun for being so open, so straightforward, but this was also his omega - and Baekhyun should be able to do what he wanted without fear Chanyeol was going to turn it into a lesson, which the alpha very much wanted to do.

So, Chanyeol only sighed, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's temple and using his opposite arm to hold Baekhyun to his chest, watching the fabric pull up more around the curve of the omegas spine. “My beautiful omega.”

He hummed an appreciative noise into Baekhyun's cheek, cupping around the back of his thigh so close that his thumb rested where his ass started curving out, “Just for me, baby. Okay? Only for me. You need to be more careful.”

He heard Baekhyun sigh, and knew it wasn’t the time to be _scolding_ the omega, but he worried for him.

Baekhyun was so innocent, and he was too trusting, he got attached too easily.

But Chanyeol loved him too much to just let him continue these ways without thinking.

Sure, he could have gotten off easy this far, but with Chanyeol it was an entirely new and more dangerous world.

“God. You're beautiful.” Chanyeol growled, working his hand under the edge of Baekhyun's shirt and laying his hand on his soft, curved ass, but it was purely innocent.

Purely appreciative.

Even Baekhyun seemed to realize so, and even if his intentions were very much not innocent in coming in here like this, he was happy just to get attention.

“Only you, alpha.” Baekhyun whispered, almost sounding half asleep as he pressed his lips to Chanyeol's pulse, just resting there. “When we… have sex, for you only.”

“When we mate?”

“That too - for you.” Baekhyun smiled prettily, closing his eyes as Chanyeol pressed a kiss to his brow, “You… are for me too?”

“Yes. Absolutely.” Chanyeol assured quickly, rubbing his cheek to Baekhyun's forehead, “Alpha is for you, always. I don’t care about any others, my baby. I won’t have sex with anyone else, you can trust me.”

Baekhyun looked much happier at the admission, and it was probably scary to him because even if Chanyeol decided to have sex with someone else he didn’t have a say - he didn’t have any rights in the matter.

But he didn’t have to worry, because Chanyeol was not just any alpha that would have raped and force mated him - or even killed him, on the streets.

Chanyeol adjusted his hand to rest with fingers curled against Baekhyun's tailbone, they weren’t teasing or prodding, nothing but mapping the omega out, and Baekhyun must have liked such an intimate, but innocent, action because he started purring loud.

So loud Chanyeol usually only heard it when he was having a very good dream, usually woke him up or popped his eyes open moments later to explain the dream in full detail before he forgot.

At this point Chanyeol wasn’t even sure he would be able to sleep if Baekhyun wasn’t with him, or wasn't beside him.

It left him only one option.

“Do you want to stay with me?”

Baekhyun looked half asleep, but he pressed a kiss to Chanyeol's neck anyways. “Don’t want to be anywhere else, alpha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Alphas in this story have the power to revoke their claiming marks, which is what Baek refers to*


	7. There’s gotta be a reason that I’m here on Earth

Baekhyun knew it was odd to have an omega do whatever they wanted, but he didn’t feel any shame at all when it was just them and the pack.

So, that’s how he explained why he was running up to the alphas back when he was mid conversation with Minseok, tossing his arms around the back of Chanyeol's shoulder and throwing his leg over his hip with a whine.

His alpha smirked, amused, but continued on speaking to Minseok as if nothing was the matter even as the eldest raised a brow at him.

Baekhyun whimpered when Chanyeol only rubbed his ankle. “Up!” He whined, placing his leg down just to hop up and down while holding the alphas shoulders.

“... but then we have to hit the west side, they owe a few thousand for..”

Baekhyun wasn’t interested even the slightest in their plans, he just knew he wanted up - and now.

So, he switched strategies, pouting his lips and obnoxiously rubbing his cheek on Chanyeol’s shirt as he tried to climb the alpha like a tree, wrapping one leg completely around the alpha thigh and still Chanyeol didn’t give much of an acknowledgement other than spreading his legs a bit more and letting Baekhyun try to spider monkey climb on his side.

_“Baek!”_

Baekhyun sighed, and figured it was probably time to give up soon.

“Baekhyun! Let’s play games!” Sehun tried again, “Jongin says Soo will play if you play!”

The omega was going to just give up and go play with the kids, but the alpha he was attached to growled when he started pulling his leg off and Baekhyun preened as arms were wrapping around his waist and he was suddenly upside down with his hips pressing awkwardly into Chanyeol's shoulder.

“You trying to steal my omega?” Chanyeol growled, and it was something Baekhyun had heard the alpha threaten millions of times by now, but it was obviously playful this time around, not having the red in his eyes or the threatening snarl.

In fact, Baekhyun really liked to hear the words, felt more protected, but now he just squealed because he found being upside down hilarious, hitting at the alphas back and giggling.

“Mine!” Sehun whined, and Baekhyun heard more than saw the angry stomp the youngest alpha gave, “Mine, Yeol!”

Chanyeol chuckled, and Baekhyun found that his hand tightened on his thighs a bit more and thought it was cute he was jealous of a mere thirt- no, recently fourteen year old. “Better luck next time, Sehunnie. You’ll have to find yourself a new omega. Run off.”

“No!” The teenager screamed angrily, “Baek has to play with us! You always steal him - no fun!”

It wasn’t exactly true as usually it was Baekhyun running off all on his own because he liked when Chanyeol was around a lot; but more often than not it was the kids stealing him away, and he usually didn’t tell them no - especially not Kyungsoo because he was adorably shy, and usually just walked up to tug on his arm to try and pull him away.

Much different to how aggressively Jongin and Sehun fought over who got to go steal Baekhyun away this time.

“Well,” Chanyeol drawled and Baekhyun squealed when he tossed him back onto his front, feeling the blood moving back to their rightful spots, “He’s my mate, so what I say goes.”

“Sehun,” Junmyeon added with a sigh, “Adults want to talk a little, so just go play, okay?”

Baekhyun didn’t see the teenager run back down the hall, but he assumed so because even if Sehun was a bit crazy and pushy, he did listen really well.

Plus, Baekhyun was a bit too light headed to do anything but be carried - more like dangled - at his alphas chest as Chanyeol walked towards the dining room to take a seat.

At least the pack house had lots of furniture, Chanyeol's looks decent now that Baekhyun's things were moved in, but it was still way too empty.

“Okay?”

Baekhyun hummed in response and pulled his sock covered feet up into Chanyeol's lap.

The alpha chuckled, combing Baekhyun's hair from his eyes and kissing the omegas temple and then lips when he tilted his mouth up for affection, “I asked if you were okay, baby.”

Baekhyun was okay, more than okay, even if his face was a bit pink and his pulse was faster than normal, _“Always_ okay, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol laughed as he kissed his hair once more, petting Baekhyun's hip, “Whatever you say, little one.”

The alpha noticed the twisted lip expression of the eldest omega, and turned his head to look away because Luhan had no right to judge him and Baekhyun when he and Minseok were mated too.

Luhan worried, Minseok worried - hell, Chanyeol worried about their relationship, but he wasn’t going to listen and just drop Baekhyun as he knew some of his pack members wanted.

He physically couldn’t do that.

But, to say Minseok was pissed when he admitted he would be moving Baekhyun was an understatement, and Chanyeol understood - he did - but Baekhyun was much safer with him, and when he pointed that out Minseok sighed, but still sent him a look they screamed he didn’t fully think it was the right thing to do.

How could him being with Baekhyun not be the right thing to do?

Having been dating the omega so long now, it felt worse to just drop him.

Plus, he loved Baekhyun.

There was no way he could just up and forget the omega - not like many other alphas - and he knew that even if some of the pack didn’t approve, they were biased because they were mated, they had mates, and they had someone to love.

Chanyeol didn’t until now, and it wasn’t fair of them to try and tell him he couldn’t just because he needed to lead them.

He knew they just cared so much because they, too, loved Baekhyun; _everyone loved Baekhyun._

“Baekhyun, did you notice these?”

The omega popped his eyes open and watched Luhan bring a tray over, setting it on the table, and was positive it was mostly a distraction, but it worked, because he squealed and was digging into the mini cupcakes immediately.

“You're funny,” Luhan mused as he took a seat at the table, and Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol's deep voice rumbling against his side, so he eye smiled at the older omega.

Truthfully, Baekhyun didn’t really talk to the older pack members as much as he probably should, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like them any less.

They picked him up from work sometimes, even just took him to the corner stores, just invited him on car rides to get the teenagers from classes - they were really nice to him, even if he was also pretty sure Chanyeol had them do so out of protection.

“Silly,” The older omega added as Baekhyun slipped off Chanyeol's lap to get closer to the tray of sweets. Watching Baekhyun grab a small cookie and take a bite, going wide eyed and skipping back to give the rest to Chanyeol.

The alpha accepted without even having to look, and they really were cute because Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun's fingers and the omega was rushing back over to Luhans side of the table to continue the cycle, spurred on by the alphas reaction.

Luhan chewed his lip and turned to look in the living room, unsurprised the others were watching closely too, and it was a sad, guilty feeling, because Chanyeol deserved someone too.

Baekhyun didn’t even notice the stares into his back, only coming back with his half bitten cupcake and wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's neck, waiting patiently for him to finish his sentence to Yifan before pressing the cupcake to his lips.

Chanyeol snorted this time, accepting the treat only because it was _Baekhyun_ that kept bringing them, but holding Baekhyun's wrist and pulling him into his side as he finished it, “No need to impress,” He cooed, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's ear and kissing a few times dramatically, “You're already my mate. You don’t need to impress me, sunshine.”

Baekhyun grinned sheepishly at being called out, but giggled to himself when Chanyeol just kissed at temple again, shimmying to curl back up at the alphas chest because there was no reason for him to continue trying to get Chanyeol's attention when he already had it all the time.

“Hm? My sweet baby.” Chanyeol purred, not at all opposed to Baekhyun balled up under his chin, only petting from his hair down his spine, “Alpha's omega.”

“Chanyeol's omega.” Baekhyun corrected with a slight pout.

“My omega,” He amended.

“Like it better.” Baekhyun sighed contently, kissing Chanyeol’s collarbone, glad he was finally able to do so with the promise of their mating in the future.

Chanyeol only hummed, staring down at the crown of his head and pressing his nose into his forehead.

Yifan cleared his throat, and honestly they had been speaking about something important, but he completely forgot.

Chanyeol laughed under his breath, opting to wrap both arms around Baekhyun and tightly situate him so he could rest his chin on the omegas hair, “Sorry. _Can you repeat that?”_

~~~~~~

Baekhyun knew he must annoy Chanyeol an awful lot, but the alpha never tried anything, never even remotely raised his voice at him unless it was scolding him about not being careful.

But, he didn’t care if he was annoying Chanyeol, because the alpha didn’t say anything - so he must not be too upset.

Plus, he liked to be close to Chanyeol and the alpha always just pulled him closer, like now.

He was still half asleep, and crawled out of bed to go downstairs, noticing Chanyeol seated on the couch and Baekhyun was immediately bouncing over, throwing his arms around the alphas neck.

Chanyeol wasn’t much of a morning person either, but he was a good alpha. “Are you hungry, baby?”

Baekhyun merely purred tiredly, kissing at Chanyeol's ear over the back of the couch.

“Hm? Hungry?”

“For alpha,” Baekhyun whispered, pressing his nose tiredly to Chanyeol's jaw.

“Come be hungry for alpha over here.” The alpha snickered fondly, grabbing one of Baekhyun's hands from his neck to kiss his palm.

Baekhyun nipped at his cheek playfully before throwing his leg over the back of the couch to roll over it, he knew the alpha usually told him to be more careful when jumping or playing on the furniture, but Chanyeol didn’t say a thing when it was to jump in his arms or to tease the alpha - because he knew Chanyeol must like it a lot.

“Hungry, hungry,” Baekhyun cooed cutely, smiling childishly as he placed himself on Chanyeol's hip, putting his palms back around the alphas neck.

“Hm, be careful, my baby. Hungry for what, I could say,” Chanyeol joked, jostling Baekhyun a bit to worm his arm behind the omegas back. “But, alpha knows you so well, and my baby is so innocent. Right, baby?”

“Right,” Baekhyun smiled, fingers pressing into Chanyeol's pulse, “Protect alpha.” He added distractedly, wiggling his fingers around the alphas pulse.

“Oh, so sweet.” Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun closer with one arm, “But, it’s my job to protect you, sweet omega. You're my baby, I should protect your pretty little neck, hm?”

Baekhyun took his tongue between his teeth happily, throwing his head down to rest on Chanyeol's thigh and baring his neck with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Protect me alpha!” He cried excitedly.

Chanyeol chuckled, laying his hand to rest around Baekhyun's throat and shaking his head as he leaned down, “From who? Me? Because I’m the only alpha that gets near this pretty little neck.”

Baekhyun's look was too fond, Chanyeol only pressed a kiss to his nose before nipping at his jaw, then again, again; until the omega burst into giggles.


	8. The worlds not perfect, but it’s not that bad

Chanyeol _never_ wanted to push Baekhyun into anything, because that’s what alphas did, they took and they didn’t care about the omegas wellbeing.

Not Chanyeol. Chanyeol cared about Baekhyun's well-being way more than even his own - loved the omega too much to even think about touching him without permission.

Even if the small omega was admittedly a tease, going out of his way to walk much less dressed than Chanyeol liked - that was a lie, he very liked the omega to run around naked if he so wanted, but he had a hard time controlling himself so he told himself otherwise.

And, worst of all, despite Baekhyun being so innocent he said things that definitely needed to be explained to Chanyeol because he took it as something extremely sexual, but Baekhyun huffed and huffed like Chanyeol was the one that didn’t make sense.

How do you run up to someone - being as gorgeous as Baekhyun - and say _“blow me!”_ and make it sound innocent.

Chanyeol had a possessive breakdown because not only had Baekhyun said so to him, but it was in front of the pack - and it was just because he had an eyelash in his eye, and wanted Chanyeol to get it out for him.

God, Baekhyun tested.

And Chanyeol was all for it, and had zero idea how he had made it this far.

Probably because Baekhyun was just as adorable as he was sexy - no, that was definitely why, because the omega was a fucking goddess, but had an innocent soul.

Fuck did it turn Chanyeol on though.

As an alpha, he was drawn to that innocence, drawn to protect what he could, but as _Chanyeol_ he wasn’t going to act on the unspeakable need to overrule the omegas life - he had already pushed Baekhyun to politely quit his job, but that was mostly because he was extremely worried about the omegas health and well-being because he worked long and hard.

He really wanted to overrule though; of course he wanted to possessively keep his mate to himself, it was too dangerous for him to be anywhere else.

But, if he heard, _“Let’s go to the aquarium, alpha!”_

_“Alpha, I really want chicken.”_

_“Chanyeol! Can you come play with me?”_

Of course he was doing it - doing whatever Baekhyun wanted quickly, and Yifan had even teased him that it was bordering on submissive - which had Chanyeol snarling loudly at him even if he was right.

Chanyeol was submissive for Baekhyun, he’d do anything for him, and it wasn’t a very alpha thing to do at all.

But he did it anyways - did it in public and private, because anything that made Baekhyun happy made him happy too.

Which was likely why Chanyeol had an entire room put together for his mates painting things, an entire studio for his omega to draw and paint and do whatever he wanted, because Baekhyun was an artist, and even if Chanyeol didn’t have room for more he was finding it and hanging them up anyways.

But, the catch was Baekhyun never seemed to use the room anyways.

Truthfully, Chanyeol didn’t think the omega stood in there more than five minutes to collect supplies before running around the house to find a place he was comfortable in.

And the alpha, admittedly, had been watching Baekhyun kick his legs back and forth in the air for a good five minutes as he leaned in the doorway of his study, arms crossed.

It had to be some sort of talent to be able to live with the omega and not have had more sexual contact than a few stray touches this long.

Truly, Baekhyun had no reason to be nearly nude as he laid on his stomach in the corner of the room, propped up on his elbows and his canvas placed against the front of the bookshelf - but he was, and Chanyeol was sure he must have saved someone in his past life, because he certainly did not deserve someone so _beautiful._

“I thought we agreed not to lay on the floor anymore, sweet boy,” He called, a bit annoyed at himself for not taking a few more moments to just appreciate how pretty Baekhyun was doing practically nothing.

“You agreed, I disagreed!” Baekhyun claimed, not even looking over his shoulder.

Chanyeol snorted, and was tempted to walk towards his alcohol cabinet just to get something to relax, because Baekhyun had been very teasing lately, but he didn’t, instead he turned to walk towards the omega and took a seat on the floor. “You were the one that caught a cold, my love. I believe that was enough agreement not to be playing around on the floor.”

Baekhyun turned to fix him with a firm look, and Chanyeol knew he lost before he even began his list of reasons why it was bad to lay on the dirty carpet when it hadn’t been cleaned in a while.

“It's better this way, alpha,” was all Baekhyun responded, and it wasn’t even much of an explanation at all, but Chanyeol accepted anyway.

“Are you warm? If you’re not going to listen, then you should at least lay a blanket or something down, darling.”

“I’m hot.” Baekhyun admitted, and Chanyeol pretended not to see how much paint was all over the floor and the bookcase - and Baekhyun.

The alpha hummed, reaching out to lay a palm flat on Baekhyun's spine, running it up and down the smooth skin, “You don’t feel warm, love.”

“All done!” Baekhyun cried, completely ignoring Chanyeol to sit up on his knees, paint splattered all over his chest and face, _“Ta-da!”_

“Hm,” Chanyeol moved closer to rest his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder, “You used alphas favorite colors? How pretty, baby.”

“It’s a very special painting,” The omega explained matter-a-factly, turning to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's neck, rubbing paint all over the alphas shirt; but, at this point, Chanyeol knew better than to approach Baekhyun when he knew the omega was painting in a good shirt.

Chanyeol hummed in acknowledgment as he started pulling Baekhyun's thighs around his hips - the omega knew the routine by now, immediately getting comfortable on Chanyeol's front so the alpha could pick him up. “Why is that, my pretty omega?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer, only preening and pressing a sweet kiss to Chanyeol's neck.

The omega could be mischievous when he wanted too, but Chanyeol was well aware that Baekhyun was up to something, because Baekhyun didn’t usually wear only a pair of black boxers to paint because Chanyeol knew he hated the way it dried on his skin, so something was up.

“You know what Dae told me today?”

“What’d he say, Baekhyun?”

“Dae told me,” Baekhyun pulled his head back from Chanyeol's neck and chewed his lip as the alpha took a seat on the edge of his desk, carefully holding Baekhyun to his chest with one hand and the other struggling to grab a bottle of whiskey to pour. “Told me that you had a very important party to go to next week.”

Chanyeol hummed and sat back in surprise when Baekhyun leaned over to pour Chanyeol a glass himself. 

Baekhyun wasn’t that big a fan of the smell of alcohol, but Chanyeol knew omegas didn’t burn it off as fast as alphas did - so it was good he didn’t like it. “Are you buttering me up? Must be, baby.”

Baekhyun smiled sheepishly, like he had been caught as Chanyeol grabbed his thighs, “I want to go.”

“No.” It didn’t even need to be a thought, it really was not even up for debate.

“But… alpha-“

“No,” Chanyeol didn’t want the alcohol anymore, it was long forgotten as he cupped Baekhyun's cheek with one hand, “Absolutely. Not. No. It’s dangerous and you can’t come, do you hear me? Don’t ask again.”

Baekhyun had a wild temper if Chanyeol ever saw one, but the alpha was not much better.

“Why not!” Baekhyun squealed, face already turning pink, “I want to go! Tao gets to go!”

“Tao is mated, can fight, and he has a mark - you do not!” Chanyeol argued as Baekhyun slipped off his lap with an angry groan, “You're not going, Baekhyun. It’s going to be full of alphas and it’s going to be gang leaders - _no.”_

“I can fight too!”

Chanyeol curled his hands into the wood table and his head twitched slightly because the last time him and Baekhyun had this much of a disagreement was over mating, and it didn’t feel good at all. “You cannot-“

 _“I can too!”_ Baekhyun cried indignantly, stomping his foot, and reaching out to shove Chanyeol’s arm slightly, the alpha didn’t move an inch, “Can fight too!”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol sighed, bringing his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, “Baby. You aren’t strong enough. It’s going to be really scary, you’ll be afraid, and it’s not going to be fun at all. You're not going. I’m telling you right now this is not up for debate.”

When Baekhyun gets really quiet is always when Chanyeol knows he needs to worry, but Baekhyun was rarely quiet unless he was distracted, and the omega shifting back and forth in anger a foot in front of him was very much not distracted.

“You want to cheat on me, huh?”

Chanyeol never really needed to address this since Baekhyun had a meltdown about unknowing their future status as a mated couple, but it still hurt.

“You want to cheat on me, because… because you don’t ever want to have sex with me! Because you think I’m a little kid, and I don’t want it! So you’re going to go get a different omega to fuck!”

“Baekhyun, you're just being too much now. If you’re insecure, let’s talk, and if you’re just trying to make me change my mind - you can’t, okay?”

Baekhyun spun on his heels then, and Chanyeol hadn’t ever seen the omega start walking away from an argument so fast, so he was alerted quickly, following after him with fast steps.

“Baek,” He called, watching Baekhyun burst through their bedroom door, the doorknob hitting the wall much harder than needed, “Baekhyun. Stop, let’s talk.”

_“I hate you.”_

Chanyeol hadn’t ever heard those words from Baekhyun ever in their entire relationship - one that was considered extremely long, because it was true that alphas got tired of their omegas.

He had been shot before, and this was way worse.

Especially when he met Baekhyun's eyes and the omega was grabbing a shirt from the side of the bed, “I hate you! I hate you, alpha!”

“Ba… Baek,” Chanyeol whispered, reaching over the side of the bed to grab the shirt as Baekhyun went to put it on, “Baby. Baby, you don’t mean that, please don’t say that.”

Baekhyun squared his shoulders like he was going to say something very important, but instead he growled and reached over the corner of the bed to shove Chanyeol's hand away from him, “You're not allowed to cheat on me! Leave!”

“Nobody is cheat-“

“If you don’t leave - I’m leaving!” The omega screeched, hands going to pull his hair and Chanyeol didn’t know how to approach him when he was both in tears and angry. “Be an alpha, leave me!”

Chanyeol was beyond mad, but he also could understand why Baekhyun thought this, and wondered how long he had been thinking over different scenarios of that party.

It was ridiculous considering Chanyeol had gone to meetings with different pack leaders before, he had to lay out ground rules and make sure alliances were in place, and Baekhyun had never reacted this way before.

“Baekhyun, breathe,” It didn’t matter what he had to say anymore because his mate was paling and Chanyeol was scared he would pass out. “Baby. Hey, no. No, I’m yours, I’m your alpha. I’m yours, baby.”

Baekhyun whimpered, and it wasn’t a normal attention seeking one, but he was in pain, and Chanyeol didn’t care if the omega scratched him to hell, he was getting to his mate, picking him up and cradling his paint covered body to his chest. “Sh, sh. Baby. No. I’m yours, always yours, remember? _Always, always.”_

He could only shush and walk around a bit to give Baekhyun some air, and it wasn't funny at all how fast he could feel the omegas heart racing. “Don’t worry, you never need to worry.”

“I-Omegas can’t be p-possessive.”

“That’s a bullshit lie. Who told you that?” Chanyeol whispered, thumbs rubbing soothingly into Baekhyun's thighs, “You can be possessive with me. You can be jealous, baby, but don’t you ever assume I want anyone but you. _Never. Never, ever._ It’s only you, honey. It’s just you, and you need to talk to me instead of just waiting to blow up, okay? Does that sound better?”

Baekhyun sniffed into his shirt, pressing his nose down into Chanyeol's collarbone, “Don't.. don’t hate you, alpha. _I’m so sorry.”_

“That really hurt, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol admitted, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's ear when the omega whimpered apologetically, “That really… god, it _really_ hurts, baby. Hurts really bad. Please don’t say that ever again. You can say anything else, but never that you hate me, please.”

Baekhyun curled in more, obviously feeling terrible, and as Chanyeol took a seat on their bed, he sat back a small bit, wringing Chanyeol's shirt between his hands, “I… really don’t mean it.”

“I know.” The alpha sighed in relief, pressing a kiss to the center of Baekhyun's head, “I know, sweetheart. But it’s not a good feeling, you know I care about you so much. So why would you tell me that? It wouldn’t feel very good if I said that to you - and I won’t, because it hurts very badly. Just like you trying to leave, you can’t just leave me, baby. Please don’t do that. We can fight, but you don’t need to _leave.”_

Baekhyun nodded, tears making his face swollen as he dropped his cheek back to Chanyeol's chest, wrapping arms tightly around the alphas waist. “I… we can.. can talk when… we - I think I need a nap.”

Chanyeol wanted to laugh, but he honestly felt like he needed to nap an entire week, and go cry in the shower or something, because he felt like he had just fallen off a cliff.

He only laid flat in the bed though, pulling Baekhyun down on his chest with him, “Let’s take a nap, baby. Just take a nap and we can talk.”

~~~~~~

Fighting with Baekhyun was a horrible experience, and even when Chanyeol woke up he felt sick, but it was likely mostly his panic setting in because Baekhyun was no longer in bed - was no longer in the room, and the shirt they fought over was gone, and a few dresser drawers were open.

Not a good sign.

And he was panicking immediately, tears springing to his eyes as he ran an anxious hand through his hair and started jogging down the hallway, shoving a few doors open.

“Baekhyun!”

“Baek, Baekhyun! Baby, this isn’t funny!”

He cursed and gulped, because he never felt helpless, but he did right now. “Baekhyun! This is not a game! Please!”

Very faintly he heard a small cry of his name, and relaxed, but he was angry Baekhyun scared him so much today.

“Baek, baby, what the - you can’t just scare me like that.” Chanyeol scolded, trying to cover up the red of his eyes as he burst into the painting room on the first floor, or, the untouched room.

“Alpha.”

“You really scared me, omega. Really, really scared me.” He continued, stepping over a few wooden pallets to get to the corner couch Baekhyun sat on, fully dressed in pajamas and fingertips covered in black paint all over again.

“Alpha,” Baekhyun mumbled again, looking down at the canvas in his lap before standing up when Chanyeol got near, holding the painting to his chest, “This is a _very_ special painting.”

Chanyeol really was in no mood to talk about paintings right now, but that would break Baekhyun's heart if he said that aloud, “You said that already, Baek.”

Baekhyun nodded to himself, licking his lips, and Chanyeol just noticed his eyes were still a bit puffy from sleeping. “I’m really sorry. I don’t hate you.”

Chanyeol sighed, but Baekhyun shook his head and put his hands out to offer the canvas, “Chanyeol. I really… I really want you to be my mate forever, that's why I get so angry.”

He frowned in confusion as he accepted the painting, it looked exactly the same, the same abstracts of red and black and grey, and he was going to ask what he was looking for, but Baekhyun grabbed the other end and was flipping it over. _“Really love you Chanyeol, please love me… until you can’t anymore.”_

There was no disputing that Chanyeol was irrevocably in love with Baekhyun, and the _‘please love me, alpha’_ painted on the back didn’t help at all.

“Y-You…” Chanyeol clicked his tongue and hated how quickly he was crying as he turned to set the painting carefully on a nearby side table, not wasting a moment before cupping Baekhyun's face in both hands, “... you don’t need to worry. I’ll love you always. _Always, Baekhyun._ There’s no reason to say… say until I can’t anymore, because it’s going to be forever. It’s going to be always.”

He didn’t need to see Baekhyun to know how happy the omega was, and he didn’t even feel disgusted for crying into Baekhyun's hair, even if his instincts were telling him it was absolutely disgusting to cry over an omega, because he never was a normal alpha.

And Baekhyun deserved to be treated gently.

“Chanyeol,” The omega whispered, and Chanyeol didn’t bother trying to hide his tears even as Baekhyun pulled their noses together, looking directly at him, and he smiled. “Love you.”

“I love you,” Chanyeol replied instantly, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's even if his words were muffled, “So much. So much, you’re everything to me, baby.”


	9. I know you'll understand if you let me stay the night

Chanyeol was always right, and Baekhyun somewhat regretted his own decisions at the moment, because, again, his alpha was always right.

It was scary. For him at least.

For an omega that was very obviously unclaimed, but wore Chanyeol's scent like a cape, hidden in his alphas jacket like it could protect him from the leering and lustful glances of other alphas.

Alphas that were not Chanyeol; alphas that would, at first sign of him alone, attack and rape or perhaps even kill him.

Baekhyun really wished he hadn’t thrown such a big deal about this party, and should have listened to his mate who was more aware of this world than he was.

But, of course, he didn’t, and he whined and whined until Chanyeol had nothing to say but to curl his fingers in a come here motion and sit him down for a stern talking to.

_Don’t ever leave my side, you stay with alpha the entire time._

_Don’t try to talk to the other omegas you see, because I know you’re a social butterfly, baby, but they aren’t going to just want to speak._

_If I seem rude, just remember that I need to seem that way, and I love you very much despite what you might feel in the moment._

_And do not, if you listen to anything out of these, let it be this one. Do not make eye contact with anyone, are you listening, sweet baby? I really need you to listen, Baek._

Baekhyun did listen, he did. He even repeated all of the rules to Chanyeol in the car.

But, he was curious, and there was so much going on and he’d never seen so many lights like this!

So, he broke a few rules, and it wasn’t really his fault - but it kind of was.

He was just really lucky some of his pack was here, because if not… he didn’t even want to imagine how bad of a mistake he made.

Because he wasn’t supposed to make eye contact with people, but it was too hard, and he was too curious, and all the omegas here were dressed in really fancy clothes - if you could even call it as much, they were practically nude, but what little they had on was bright, attention capturing.

“Hey. You new, cutie? Could use you in the other room, come along,” Baekhyun furrowed his brows because he had no idea what this omega was cooing at him, and it was just an omega after all, just like him, so why did it matter if they spoke?

“Sorry… I-I…” Baekhyun chewed his lip and turned to look up at Chanyeol, and he was used to interrupting the alphas conversations, but not this time, not here - it felt like a huge mistake if he did more than touch Chanyeol's arm.

So, he only wrapped his arm around himself and continued holding onto the side of Chanyeol's chair with one hand, “I’m not… not whatever you are -“

_“He means he’s not someone’s bitch, fuck off, crack whore.”_

Baekhyun thought Zitao was extremely rude, but he was very grateful for him, especially because the omega scattered away quickly in fear.

That probably had more to do with the fact Zitao looked like an alpha, carried himself like an alpha, and if he stayed tucked into Yifan's side, you couldn’t smell that he was an omega.

The seventeen year old really built himself up well, and Baekhyun was slightly jealous that he would never be able to look even the least bit like an alpha and not have to be afraid.

“Don’t talk to them Baek, they're trying to lure you away and they’ll sell you to alphas.” Zitao commented bluntly, and Baekhyun also wished the omega would sugarcoat things for him.

“Why would they…” Baekhyun flopped his hand out uncomfortable, scrunching his nose up when a wave of cigarette smoke floated towards him, and he desperately wanted to jump into Chanyeol's lap and hide, but it didn’t make his alpha look very strong if he did. “... we’re the same.”

“They’re addicts,” The younger shrugged, crossing his arms and even if Yifan was moving away to sit with the group Chanyeol was speaking too, Zitao still smelled like an Yifan - and Baekhyun was now just jealous of the bite on his neck keeping it that way. “They'll sell you over for a bag of cocaine and a candy bar, don’t talk to them.”

Baekhyun nodded, but felt his hair stand up and he just really wanted to go home. Zitao must have noticed so too, because he heard him sigh and felt the omega bump his shoulder slightly.

It did make him feel a little better that Zitao was close, but not by much when the number of alphas in the room that looked ready to jump him was too high for comfort - even one of these looks was too much.

He didn’t even know where to look if he couldn’t look at people, because there were so many, and he honestly felt so out of place because he wasn’t dressed fancy, he wasn’t wearing little clothes, he just… was. He was just staring at his covered toes and flattening out his purple silk top. Baekhyun wanted to be pretty for his alpha too, but Chanyeol wouldn’t allow much more skin to be shown than this and begged him to change.

Baekhyun understood why now.

“What about your bitch then? The little one, been on you all night. Celebrate alliances.”

Baekhyun wanted to look up, but settled for tightening his hand on the side of Chanyeol's chair, somewhat shifting to press more behind it in an attempt to hide.

“I don’t share my omegas,” His alpha replied, it sounded calm, but Baekhyun knew he wasn’t.

“Nothing better than a group fuck, come on man. How should we trust you if you’re not willing to share?”

Baekhyun's shoulders tightened up, and nobody was touching him, but he felt violated already.

“Listen.” The chair vibrated where Baekhyun was holding it as his alpha sat forward, “I don’t share my _goddamn_ omegas, got it? Get one of the drugged out ones for all I fucking care, you’re not getting mine.”

“You have more than enough,” Someone cackled.

“Yeah, I’m not into those tweaked bitches, so high they can’t even get wet!” The group laughed at the joke, and Baekhyun didn’t really think it was funny at all, those omegas needed to go to the hospital.

“Yours looks like he’d be real submissive. What do you say, sugar, lift that head up for alpha and let us see you?”

Baekhyun wasn’t supposed to talk to them, and he very much didn’t want to anyway, not if they were going to be so rude to him.

But, it seemed he didn’t have to, because the chair he was holding creaked as Chanyeol got up, and in a panic Baekhyun was looking up to see where his alpha was going.

He wasn’t scared of blood, of course he wasn’t when he saw it so often, but Chanyeol… Chanyeol was really angry, Baekhyun could tell as much, because his mate was only so mad if he was completely livid.

Baekhyun shivered, not scared of Chanyeol, but his alpha was snarling so loud, blood pouring onto the cement floor of the warehouse and no other alphas dared to touch Chanyeol, because they too looked afraid.

“I said I don’t fucking share.” Chanyeol growled, dropping the bloody mess he had been at the throat of, and Baekhyun couldn't see very much from behind the chair, but he suspected his alpha did so on purpose, “Got it? That’s _my_ bitch. You lay a hand on him, I’ll gut you.”

Baekhyun wasn’t scared at all, only relieved when Chanyeol turned to him, the entire front of his body covered in blood, down the low cut black button down he wore and all over his teeth.

But when Chanyeol opened his arms silently, Baekhyun ran.

Even like this, Baekhyun was safer with Chanyeol.

“You sure about that, Yeol?” He heard Yifan ask as they walked to the car, “They know you have an attach-“

“I wasn’t going to give them Baekhyun, just as you sure as hell weren’t going to give them Tao.” Chanyeol roared, both arms cradling under Baekhyun's ass.

“Zitao is my mate. Very obviously is my mate, he has my mark, I have a claim on him.”

“Baekhyun is my mate.” Chanyeol whispered, leaning over the open backseat to place Baekhyun into the leather seat, sighing and brushing a hand through the omegas hair as he went to buckle him. “He’s my mate, and I don’t care about what they think.”

Baekhyun grimaced at the blood Chanyeol had transferred onto his pretty shirt, but his alpha tapped his chin lightly in a silent apology, and Baekhyun suddenly didn’t care at all as he leaned up with puckered lips.

Chanyeol tasted like blood, but it was okay because this was Baekhyun's alpha.

~~~~~~

It seemed stupid, very emotional or attached, but Chanyeol was both those things and put Baekhyun's special painting on a black stand right beside the doorway as you enter his study.

Just seated all on it's own on a shelf so he could look up and see it anytime he wanted.

As if the walls weren’t slowly starting to flood already.

He knew it was going to be their bedroom, then his study, and slowly every room in the house covered in paintings that had no clear scenes or any similarities.

But that was okay. That was perfect actually, because Chanyeol loved to see them, and had been slightly jealous his omega had started going to the pack house to hang stuff up.

It was irrational jealousy, but he just wanted to keep Baekhyun to himself as long as he could.

Plus, he almost threw a child-like tantrum when Baekhyun tried to take the watercolor flower painting that Chanyeol was currently looking at.

It was his favorite one that was in their bedroom, just a tiny one that sat on their dresser just below the hanging television.

But it was pretty like Baekhyun, and it was innocent, like Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol..”

Speaking of the pretty little omega, Chanyeol was rolling on his side to pat the bed, wiggling his fingers out in offering for Baekhyun.

Baekhyun smiled cutely, his face was slightly pink on one side, and Chanyeol had half a mind to scold him for falling asleep so underdressed if it wasn’t in their bed, but his omega was too cute and was making a quiet excited noise as he hopped on the bed, kicking the covers away.

“Did you have a nap, baby?” Chanyeol cooed, hands instantly reaching for Baekhyun's skin, running his thumb beneath his omegas eye, “I can always tell.” He added, pressing a light kiss to Baekhyun's top lip.

“Mhm.” Baekhyun hummed, tossing his head back against the pillows to look at Chanyeol in such a dopey way Chanyeol's heart picked up, “Alpha?”

“Whatever you want, sweet baby.” Chanyeol started up at his familiar sheepish tone, _“Get you anything, omega! Whatever you want, even if it’s really weird!”_ He teased, digging his nose in the crook of Baekhyun's neck and felt the omegas' laughter.

“Serious talk!” Baekhyun squeaked as Chanyeol nipped at his ear, “Yeol! Serious!” He giggled.

Chanyeol snorted, picking his head up just to rest his face back against Baekhyun's, “Since when do you start serious talk? Did my baby do something bad?” He pecked Baekhyun's cheek and continued moving his palm down the omegas chest to his thigh, moving Baekhyun's leg more comfortably to wrap around the back of his thigh.

“I…”

Chanyeol raised a brow at him, pressing more reassuring kisses into his round cheek, because Baekhyun was definitely not shy - nervous or sheepish sometimes, definitely, but his baby wasn’t shy.

“I… Chanyeol, those omegas… at the party…” Baekhyun frowned, “They're sick?”

“They…” The alpha frowned and he didn’t want to be crude, but didn’t really have many choices on how to explain. “They’re on drugs, it messes with their reproductive systems, baby. Some alphas don’t want omegas if they don’t slicken, it’s not… those omegas were doing bad things, Baekhyun. And I can’t save them all, sweet omega. I can’t help them all, and I won’t bring any here that I’m not sure are good. Good like you or Luhan, or Kyungsoo, good omegas.”

“One tried to talk to me… Tao said that he was going to sell me to an alpha for more drugs.” Baekhyun admitted carefully, lingering his fingers over Chanyeol’s naked back.

“They would,” Chanyeol admitted with a sigh, closing his eyes and running his mouth along Baekhyun's. “That’s why you need to be careful, because I love you, and I need you to be safe.”

Baekhyun frowned and nodded slightly, leaning up to press a small kiss to Chanyeol's cupids bow, and rubbing their noses together.

It was heavenly when Baekhyun, on the rare chance, got to see Chanyeol so relaxed up close, almost like he was going to fall asleep on the spot with how relaxed he was as Baekhyun ran his fingers over the curve of his ear and pressed their faces together, feeling Chanyeol breathe his scent in and out.

His alpha really was very gentle, even if he didn’t think so.

Baekhyun knew so first hand, because even when he was upset Chanyeol didn’t even raise a hand to him, nothing more than a light squeeze around his wrist or waist.

And it was so rare to find alphas like this, ones that didn’t ever touch omegas unless it was wanted.

Because Chanyeol had every right to toss him around, had every right to beat him up if he was out of line, because alphas weren’t allowed to beat betas they were in relationships with - but omegas were fine to hit, omegas were just for show and for having sex with, not even just for child making as it had been in the past - they were simply to take your anger out on, and any of your other primal needs.

Baekhyun wouldn’t ever be able to fully explain how much he loved Exo members for that, all of the alphas and betas.

He had even seen Luhan throw an entire screeching fit before, and Minseok didn’t even bat an eye at his mate, nothing more than acknowledging nods and a small frown.

“Chanyeol?” He wasn’t sure the alpha was even awake anymore.

But he was, and Chanyeol grunted a quiet acknowledgement.

“Can… if you want, I don’t know if you do, but… but can we have sex? I-I don’t want a knot right now, but I just -I- I want to be with you, I can wait… if that’s what you want…”

“What makes you think I don’t want that?” Chanyeol purred, eyes snapping open and moving his hand to run his thumb soothingly over Baekhyun's jaw, “Of course I want to have sex with you, Baek. We don’t.. we don’t have to mate right this second if that’s not what you want, that's okay.”

Baekhyun took a huge breath of relief, licking over his mouth before pressing a light peck to Chanyeol's lips, “I just… we can still mate… later? I still want your bite, I just.. I just want to feel you first. I just want-“

Chanyeol sat up on his knees, and looked wide awake for someone that was dozing off only moments ago, “I don’t need to hear your reasons, beautiful. If you don’t want a knot, then you don’t. And if you don’t want a bite right at this moment, that’s fine, baby. It’s fine, we can mate another time, we have time, my love.”

The omega shuffled slightly awkwardly in order to move so he laid beneath Chanyeol, he chewed his lip and met Chanyeol's eyes with more shyness than the alpha had ever seen as he lifted his hips off the bed, silent request to remove his boxers.

Just at the cute, nervous action Chanyeol wanted to claim him as his mate right then and there, but if Baekhyun didn’t want that for the first time then that was fine.

After all, there was always next time, and he had a feeling that the omega wasn’t going to be able to go without a bite much longer, because Baekhyun was just as possessive as him, even if he held it in a lot more.


	10. My blood flows like a river cause I trusted you the most

Chanyeol wasn’t surprised at all when he was seated in the living room and heard light footsteps.

But, he pretended not to hear them because Baekhyun was cute, and got a bit worked up when he couldn’t sneak attack him.

It was a bit odd for the omega to be up so late, but Chanyeol assumed it was because of recent events and smiled to himself.

Baekhyun was probably just needier than normal, maybe he smelled Chanyeol leave to come downstairs so he wouldn’t wake up the omega with the lights being on, but that was normal.

Now, Chanyeol was just listening in on the teetering footsteps and turned to the next page of his list as if he hadn’t heard a thing.

But, Baekhyun was impossible not to hear, even if he tried.

Maybe because Chanyeol listened in specifically for the omega, or just because he was used to paying attention to his surroundings, it didn’t really matter.

Chanyeol heard a quiet laugh, one that sounded like Baekhyun was attempting to muffle it, and smirked, giving a small shake of his head to himself at his antics.

So, when arms threw themselves over the back of the recliner, Chanyeol only faked a gasp, because he knew Baekhyun would be pouty if he didn’t play along.

“Got you!”

“You got me, sweetheart.” Chanyeol laughed, tossing his papers on the side table, and he didn’t need to say or do anything as Baekhyun threw a leg over the side of the chair to climb up.

“Got you, alpha!” Baekhyun teased, curls falling in front of his eyes as he straddled Chanyeol's lap, the alpha was moving to push them from his face immediately in order to see his pretty eye smile. _“Gotcha!”_

Chanyeol smiled fondly, curling his arms around Baekhyun's naked waist to pull him closer to his own bare chest, wanting to keep the smaller in his bubble of heat, because he worried for Baekhyun running around with barely any clothes and getting cold. “You won, baby.”

He didn’t need to tease if Baekhyun wanted a prize, because he was already sitting up to press a loud kiss to the center of Chanyeol's mouth - claiming a kiss as his prize and smiling cutely. “I win.”

“Mhm,” He agreed, dipping his fingers into Baekhyun's pajama pants just to run fingertips over the soft skin of his hip, “What are you doing up so late? I thought I put you to bed and you should be resting up.”

Baekhyun giggled, taking his tongue between his teeth and nosing Chanyeol's jaw, “Missed Chan. Needed kisses.” He explained, moving to rest his head on Chanyeol's sternum and blinking up at him dreamily.

Chanyeol laughed, and knew Baekhyun wasn’t talking about kisses to his pretty mouth or face - even though Chanyeol didn’t mind kissing either of those at all.

Baekhyun was talking about the red, irritated bite on his skin that he was tilting his head away from, impatiently waiting for Chanyeol to kiss better.

It was numb, Chanyeol knew it didn’t hurt Baekhyun in the slightest, because that was part of the mating bite itself. But, if his mate wanted to pretend it was, then so be it.

“Ah. I forgot, I should bring you with me, huh? My omega needs to stay close for a few weeks.” Chanyeol playfully self scolded, kissing down the side of Baekhyun's neck.

“It’s very mean.”

“It is very mean,” Chanyeol held in a laugh as he kissed at the mark and Baekhyun shivered, “I’ll carry you around all the time then. Even when alpha has to run off and do stuff, even when I have to come make us food, even when my omega is trying to paint and I need to come do boring pape-“

“Okay.” Baekhyun whispered, pouting, “Maybe not all the time.”

Chanyeol bubbled out a laugh, licking at the mark just to please Baekhyun, resting his lips on the still inflamed skin.

It had only been placed there a good few hours before, so it needed a bit more time to settle down, the redness was already slowly receding, and even when it was fully healed Chanyeol knew Baekhyun would find something else he needed the alpha to coddle him over.

Chanyeol was completely to blame for the omega being spoiled rotten, because in nearly two years of being together he never once told Baekhyun no to his affection or attention, even if it could be inconveniently timed.

“Can I have it?”

“Have what, my love?” Chanyeol cooed, his hand that was resting on the back of Baekhyun's head carding dark brown curls between his fingers.

“Your bite…” Baekhyun mumbled, “For always. I want it forever, Chanyeol.”

It might be a huge fear for omegas in general, but Chanyeol knew if Baekhyun was afraid of one thing it was for him to take away his claim.

For Chanyeol to just decide one day he was tired of having him and to revoke his claim like it was nothing, the pretty bite scar would eventually fade out, and then it would be nothing but a few indents where it once was.

There were plenty of other things Baekhyun should be scared of, plenty of things the omega really needed to be, and Chanyeol tried to reiterate these things in his head, but Baekhyun didn’t scare easily even if Chanyeol wished he did.

He would go as far as to say that him ridding Baekhyun of the claim was his mates biggest fear. Scared of Chanyeol not wanting him anymore, or scared that another alpha would overtake it the moment Chanyeol had a smidge of doubt in him - the alpha never really knew which way that fear leaned.

It was an unneeded, but very strong fear, because even when they had been having sex and Baekhyun asked for it, Chanyeol saw how scared he was.

There was no need to be afraid of something impossible.

“Where else would it go, baby? Where else would my bite go if not on you? It’s only for you. I’ll repeat myself everyday if you feel scared, my omega. I’m only for you, just for you.”

“Mine?”

Chanyeol could have laughed at Baekhyun's possessiveness, but it wasn’t the time to. “Why is that a question?” He laughed, pinching Baekhyun's ear, “Who is yours?”

“You?”

“Try again, who is your alpha?”

“You.”

“Who is my baby?”

“Me.”

Chanyeol pressed his lips to a Baekhyun's temple with a grin, “Who is yours?”

“You, alpha.”

Chanyeol was going to praise him, but Baekhyun was popping up with a sweet smile and grabbing the alphas face, “Mine. My alpha.” He purred, pressing his smile into Chanyeol's chin, “Good alpha, and mine.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol chuckled as Baekhyun kissed at the corner of his mouth, “Oh, sweet baby. That’s right, Baek. I love you, and you only. And I’m yours.”

~~~~~~

Since they had started having sex, it was hard to stop.

And, it didn’t help at all that Baekhyun was a fiend, and was blatant about all things having to do with sex.

Chanyeol wouldn’t admit so, but he had been pretty proud when Baekhyun tore into Luhan and claimed that his alpha was much better at it - and, the older omega seemed to think it was funny getting Baekhyun worked up so they continued arguing for a good hour until him and Minseok decided the omegas were too irritated with each other to play together anymore.

They were cute though, even if Luhan just liked to get on Baekhyun's nerves more often than not, he still took care of the younger, just as he did the much younger members.

But, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were pretty bad about kicking out the younger members when they wanted to mate, but it wasn’t usually that hard - Jongin and Kyungsoo ran off on their own back home when they noticed Baekhyun getting testy, but Sehun just liked to monopolize Baekhyun to himself until the omega had to ask him to go back home.

Either way, they were horrible about it, Chanyeol couldn't keep his hands to himself after waiting an entire year to even have sex with him, then another year just to give Baekhyun a claim.

It was a test of self control, and Chanyeol was proud to say he passed.

But, god, was it hard to not mark Baekhyun during sex when he didn’t have his claim.

Baekhyun's throat was always slick with a light layer of sweat and lulling around in pleasure - it was sinful, and so incredibly hard for Chanyeol not to sink his teeth into the pretty and vulnerable neck.

An entire year of this, having Baekhyun on him, unable to knot the smaller because he had no way of keeping himself from biting if he did.

It was nice though, because Chanyeol had many omegas before, he had knotted at least a handful of them, had them wriggling on his knot and high on both the pain and pleasure of it.

But he never felt the need to bite them. He had a few begging him to bite them, claim them in the heat of the moment, trying to trick him to do so by sending out their scent even more - and he never did, because he never felt the need to.

Baekhyun forced him not to bite, and Chanyeol had no idea why he reacted so intensely to this omega when Baekhyun was the same - well, mostly so.

He was tighter, was definitely a virgin the first time the had sex, because it was near painful for Chanyeol, and Baekhyun had sung and squealed because he had no idea what else to do, where to put his hands, how to have sex at all.

But his slick was the same. Chanyeol mused, maybe it was sweeter than another omegas, and his pheromones were the same - except his scent appealed more to the alpha.

In conclusion, Chanyeol was so in love with Baekhyun, and that’s why he was so compelled to keep him. And, he was incredibly biased over Baekhyun that even if his comparisons weren’t necessarily true, he would fight that they were.

But, there was a sad part too.

There always was.

Baekhyun never got pregnant.

Baekhyun _couldn't_ get pregnant.

Chanyeol noticed the first time they had sex that, up close to Baekhyun while so heated, his mind wasn’t screaming at him to breed him.

Only to mate him and give him love, a very human want.

He didn’t feel that instinctual need to mount Baekhyun or anything of the sort even if he was attracted to his slick so strongly.

He never told Baekhyun about it, and didn't want to hurt his feelings.

But, of course, Baekhyun came to find out on his own.

Chanyeol didn’t know why he had gone to see Yixing, their recently certified doctor, but it didn’t matter.

Because his mate was crying, and apologizing, and begging him not to get rid of him when Chanyeol walked in from a mission, blood still painted on his shoes.

“Baek, it’s okay.” He tried, holding Baekhyun in his lap trying to explain he had already known - already knew for a very long time.

But Baekhyun was inconsolable, shaking with tears and digging his fingers in Chanyeol's scalp so hard it stung a bit when his fingers got tangled.

Chanyeol didn’t even want children, didn’t need anyone else to care about, couldn't handle it.

But Baekhyun must have, he must have or else he wouldn’t be shaking so much, crying so much.

_“Angel. I just need you, we don’t need kids. We don’t. It’s dangerous, I just want you.”_

Chanyeol felt ridiculous for never asking Baekhyun sooner about the topic, of course his mate would want to have children.

That explained a lot about how often the omega wanted to have sex. Because he wanted to carry children.

But he couldn’t.

And this was one thing Chanyeol could not fix even if he paid all the money in the world. And, for Baekhyun, he would. He would rather live homeless than his mate to be so upset about this when Chanyeol was more relieved about it than anything - the sad truth.

Not that he wouldn’t want their children, but he knew he’d be too attached, get too attached, and then it would be another thing to dangle over his head - and he already had eleven weaknesses, he didn’t need anymore.

“I- Omega-s job!”

“Shh, it’s not. It’s not your job,” Chanyeol soothed, unable to pull Baekhyun's face from where it was hidden in his neck, so he opted to rock him back and forth instead. “Your job is to stay right here, and be safe. Your job is to be happy, and give me a big smile when I get home from meetings, baby.”

Baekhyun hiccuped, and Chanyeol felt like pain was pouring out of his chest. “Your job is to distract the younger ones, baby. Your job is to ask Sehun if he did his homework before he can go train, and your job is to talk to Jongin because you calm him down when he’s mad even when we can’t.”

“I…”

“Sh. There’s _nothing_ to say, there’s nothing, Baekhyun. It’s not your fault, and it’s not anyone’s fault. If you can’t, then you can’t and that’s completely fine and I love you the same- no, I’ll love you twice as much, twice as much, honey. Because you’re my baby, and I don’t need to have children to think you’re any more an omega than you are. Having kids doesn’t prove anything, okay? I love you, and you love me, and we don’t need to have proof of that.”

Baekhyun's breathing started mellowing out after a few more minutes, but even then Chanyeol could feel his heart beating quickly, and he still shook.

It was painful, because his mate deserved whatever he wanted, even if it was children.

But it wasn’t something that could be fixed.

“Y..Yixing sa-said… said nothing looked wrong.. it’s j-just me. I- _I’m the problem.”_

“Don’t say that,” Chanyeol growled, kissing at the shell of his ear, “You're no problem. You’re not a problem, even if you do make a lot of messes, you’re my little raccoon, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re never a problem to me.”

Baekhyun nodded, sniffing a bunch more in Chanyeol's neck before he was sitting back and his alpha was immediately wiping his face with his sleeve and focusing on the tears kissing the corner of Baekhyun's mouth.

But the omega reached up to grab Chanyeol's wrist to move his hand away before plastering a big smile on his face, and Chanyeol was happy that it was a real one, because he could tell when Baekhyun was faking it easily.

“What are you doing, silly boy?” Chanyeol laughed, pressing a wet kiss to his nose and a second to the corner of his eye, “Very pretty, baby. Very beautiful.”

“You said… said… my job is to give big smiles… when my alpha gets home.” Baekhyun mumbled, bloodshot eyes flickering around Chanyeol's face, “You’re home now. _I have to give big smiles.”_

“We’re home, baby.”


	11. The changing of the seasons never changed my hurt

“What about _Mars!”_

“Okay, darling, wherever you want.”

Baekhyun squealed happily across the room, and Chanyeol smiled as he sat back against his chair to watch his mate.

His mate that was drowning in his pajamas, and laying on his hip across the room - thankfully on a fluffy blanket after Chanyeol convinced him for a good ten minutes his toes would get cold - a giant canvas propped up against his black leather couch that was soon to be rainbow with the solar system Baekhyun was painting.

“I really like the one with the rings though, Chanyeol! I think it’s the super prettiest one!”

Chanyeol thought Baekhyun was the prettiest in any context, in any conversation, about anything; but even that felt too cheesy and it was too early for him to smother his mate in love when they had only just eaten breakfast.

“Saturn?” Chanyeol threw out as he watched Baekhyun rub his feet together over the blanket as he rolled over to check the planet picture on his phone, placing his brush on the arm of the couch and the alpha didn’t say a word that their five thousand dollar couch was now going to have a blue stain, “I think it’s too dull for you, my love. You’ll get bored living without any colors.”

“Oh!” Baekhyun cried, pouting his lips as he held his phone out towards Chanyeol even though the alpha was across the room, shaking the object out, “Want the blue one then? It’s really pretty!”

“I don’t know about Neptune, Baek. What if aliens come snatch you up? Huh? What’s alpha to do when they fly off in spaceships?”

His mate choked on giggles at that, blue hands coming to cover his mouth as he collapsed into a ball.

Chanyeol grinned, pushing his hair off his forehead and just watching through a haze of sleepiness.

Internally, he knew better than to let Baekhyun have silly daydreams, knew that he should be spending his time teaching his mate useful things, teaching him about fighting - training him as they were the kids, all of them, even the omegas.

But, he had tried that before. They had tried and Baekhyun was a wailing mess if he had to hold a gun or hurt someone, he cried so hard Chanyeol nearly attacked Jongdae when he heard his mate sobbing in the backyard as the beta tried to teach him.

He knew they wanted to help too, but the sad truth was Baekhyun was too old to learn these things, he hadn’t hardened up enough all these years, and was still just… sweet, pure.

Baekhyun cried when they trained him, he cried when they tried to have very serious conversations about the world, and he cried when Chanyeol didn’t play along with his daydreams.

Baekhyun was a bit of a crybaby, but he was Chanyeol's crybaby.

And, even if Baekhyun pretended not to know things, Chanyeol knew he did - had gotten into arguments with his fellow alphas, even Sehun these days, about sheltering Baekhyun.

 _And he did._

He never denied he did. He was putty for those huge chocolate eyes glossing over and his stuttering of _‘alpha.’_

It was much easier for Chanyeol if Baekhyun just stayed home, or at the pack house, never went outside alone, never stepped foot out without a beta or alpha with him, had people walk him back and forth, or at least watch him.

And he coddled Baekhyun for it, praised him for listening so well, for always being ‘ _very careful, like your mate says_ ’ even if his mate - sometimes - wasn’t the most careful.

“Can float on the planets, Chanyeol! I-it’d be so cool instead of walking!” Baekhyun cried excitedly, shaking so much his paintbrush splattered on the canvas and Chanyeol watched his mate make a huge ‘oh, no’ expression as he hurried to wipe it before it dried.

But this was all Chanyeol could do.

Pretend that if they went really far away Baekhyun could be able to play when he wanted, let his mate go wherever he wanted, an ideal universe where it would be safe for him and his omega pack brothers.

But no such place existed.

Well, no such places Chanyeol was willing to send Baekhyun too, because the planets were too far away from him, an island was too cut off from basic needs, and sailing a ship had too many risks.

But they discussed these options anyways, playing around because it was stress free, and they were both aware it was impossible.

Chanyeol tried to do what he could to let his mate live a normal life, to try and let his mate be an individual rather than an omega, he did - just as he had for Kyungsoo, and Zitao.

But he couldn’t let Baekhyun more than a few feet away from him in public, because he more than once had to kill an alpha for scaring - or attempting to touch his mate.

He couldn’t let Baekhyun talk to even strange omegas on his own, even if he knew his mate really wanted to make friends, because he had almost gotten Baekhyun stolen away by an omega that looked relatively okay, but when Baekhyun was turning down an alleyway, Chanyeol knew this wasn’t a friendly exchange and hurried to break it up. 

(Not that he needed to do anything but show up and claim Baekhyun as his, and the other omega ran to the van that was waiting at the end of the alley.)

Chanyeol and the other omegas built a garden in his backyard, one that was big, and beautiful and brought all the butterflies in the neighborhood to his and Baekhyun's backyard. 

And, it brought Yixing and Luhan over more often too, which was nice because Baekhyun didn’t see them that much, and they were good company for his mate to have.

But, just a garden didn’t make his mate want to play outside, it didn’t make Baekhyun any less lonely when he had to go on too dangerous of missions for his mate to come.

It just made Chanyeol feel worse, because he didn’t deserve Baekhyun, and he had made the omega so lonely - it was his fault he had accepted his advances, and now his mate was mostly forced inside with Sehun and Jongin when Chanyeol was gone to watch over him.

Sometimes it was Junmyeon, sometimes it was Kyungsoo tagging along with Jongin, the pairings changed - but he didn’t think Baekhyun cared who it was anyways, was overexcited everytime and sweetly offering whatever he was eating, doing, or playing with to them.

It hurt Chanyeol.

It hurt because he cared for Baekhyun too much to let him do anything that he worried could harm him, but he wanted to give Baekhyun independence, even if his mate never asked for it - even if his mate, on multiple occasions, threw tantrums because he wanted his alpha to come with him or do something for him.

It hurt because Baekhyun never once whined about being locked up, and he never once complained about being lonely.

He was all big smiles and excited bouncing.

All pretty beams and _alpha, alpha, alpha!_

And that hurt in the best way, but underneath it hurt in a guilty way.

“Oh? Did you hear that, Baek?”

Baekhyun shook his head and turned to Chanyeol wide eyed.

“Mailman must be here, baby.” Chanyeol didn’t tell Baekhyun that he didn’t hear a thing; he thought it was cute his mate thought he was cool and had super hearing or something, but the truth was Chanyeol just knew the time their mail got there. “Time to check, sweet omega.”

The omega bounced up quickly, popping on his toes and very patiently waiting for Chanyeol by the door, wiggling his wet fingers out for the alpha to take.

It was freezing out, so Chanyeol was going to scold him to put some slippers on, but Baekhyun was already yanking him down the stairs, and that was perfectly okay too.

“Alpha, mail time, mail time!”

Chanyeol snorted, fingers feeling the stickiness of the paint on Baekhyun's fingers, but he merely added to the mess by rubbing his thumb over his mate's knuckles as he unlocked the front door, “I know! My baby needs to go get our mail. Very important job, huh?”

“Very important!”

“That’s why alpha has you do it, because I know that you’re very good at listening well, and very quick! You get it much faster than I do, darling.” He cooed, white lies slipping off his tongue, but they hardly mattered as he pressed a kiss to Baekhyun temple and released his mate's hand to lean against the open doorway, “Be a big help, beautiful.”

Baekhyun always was a big helper, loved to help do anything, so he was carefully walking across the cement steps of their porch and down the walkway in his bright pink pajama bottoms and one of Chanyeol's shirts that was much too painted to be recognizable at this point.

Chanyeol didn’t regret assigning a simple task for his mate to do daily - even if it made him feel like shit - because Baekhyun had fingerprints in every color on the side of that mailbox and looked so proud to collect anything they had, pressing it with both hands to his chest like it was something very important, a huge assignment he had to get done.

“Lots today!”

Chanyeol laughed, but the guilt was setting in the longer his eyes flickered around the street, and he knew he was being irrational when he stood straighter, more alert, and he shouldn't have to be afraid of Baekhyun in the front yard so long - his mate should be able to play outside of his own house if he wanted - but he was starting to get antsy as a car drove past.

He was irrationally, but also rationally, afraid.

“Yeollie?”

Chanyeol blinked down at him, unaware when Baekhyun had gotten back over to him, but he played it off quickly, accepting the blue fingerprinted mail in his fist and wrapping his arm around Baekhyun's back as he brought his mate back inside, nuzzling their noses together as he blindly locked the door and listened for the electronic beep to let him know Baekhyun was safe now.

“My sweet baby,” He began quickly, and the truth was he couldn’t give two fucks about the mail, but really cared that Baekhyun had something steady to do everyday. “Baekhyunnie, my big help. Alpha loves you, my pretty baby.”

Baekhyun mostly just liked the attention, and Chanyeol knew that.

“Chan!” He giggled, throwing his head back as Chanyeol picked him up and continued peppering kisses to his neck, the mail being crumpled against his back, “More.”

“Ah, so beautiful.” Chanyeol laughed, moving to sit on the arm of the couch and watching Baekhyun scatter to climb up into his lap, off balancing him and sending the alpha back against the cushions.

If Baekhyun wanted to be higher than him, that was perfectly fine too as long as Chanyeol could see the pretty face hovering over him, “Silly omega! Pushing me down!”

Baekhyun didn’t have the strength for that anyways, it was purely balance and uncaring of how ridiculous he looked that Chanyeol didn’t care to balance himself out before he was laid down.

“My strong baby. So mean!” Chanyeol teased, cupping behind Baekhyun's ear to pull him down and kiss on his face.

“Sorry! I’m too strong!” Baekhyun cried and giggled.

“Should learn to control that!” The alpha joked, arms moving to hold Baekhyun's hips down on his stomach, “That's okay, I forgive you for being so mean! Now, are you reading the mail to me today? Or am I just going to read it all by myself?”

“Hm.” Baekhyun pursed his lips in thought and spread his lips in a bright smile when Chanyeol kissed them, fingers spreading to coat his mates skin when he got distracted by the light stubble on his mates jaw, “Sing now, mail later?”

“Oh?”

Chanyeol was a bit surprised, because it was very early, and Baekhyun usually wasn’t even up this soon in general, so singing so early was different. A pretty song was usually reserved for Baekhyun singing loud with the shower door open, or the omega kicking along to a song on their bed as Chanyeol struggled to try and pull back the blankets from beneath Baekhyun without disturbing his mate.

“Of course. If my mate is in such a very good mood then it’s always time to sing, is it a good day, Baekhyun? Is today a good morning?”

Usually, everyday was a good day, a good morning for Baekhyun, but sometimes he had bad days too -just as everyone did. 

Days that usually consisted of crying for no reason, or bringing up very sad things out of the blue. Usually it was the very blatant and obvious fact that he hadn’t been able to get pregnant, that he might not be able too, and Chanyeol truthfully couldn’t ever convince him it wasn’t his fault - probably never could.

So, Chanyeol had to love him twice as much those days, had to coddle him a million times more than usual with sweet bath cuddles, and reassuring kisses to his skin, lots of praise.

But, Baekhyun was tempered, and on those days he was known to break some things, usually his own paintings, really pretty ones that Chanyeol loved and knew his mate loved too.

It seemed they both had a lot to feel guilty about, even if Chanyeol's was more rational, and could be fixed.

Baekhyun's couldn't, and they didn’t understand it at all, but if his mate was on a rampage it wasn’t scary or worrying, because it was only on a blue moon. Maybe once every few months. Chanyeol just wished he would talk to him instead of blowing up, but they were working on it.

“Yes,” Baekhyun smiled, “Comfy?”

“Always comfy when I have you, you know that, my pretty omega. Alpha is very comfortable when he’s holding you.” Chanyeol cooed, squeezing Baekhyun tighter to his chest for added effect.

“I have a new song.”

“Let’s hear it, baby.”

Chanyeol was guilty about a lot of things, he controlled a lot of the things his mate did, and he was the teacher of a lot of the things Baekhyun knew.

But his mate had a beautiful voice, and Baekhyun had learned that all on his own, Baekhyun chose when he sang and when he didn’t - that was his choice.

And, when Baekhyun sang, Chanyeol didn’t feel guilty for ever loving him.

Even if, right after Baekhyun was done, the feeling came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may or may not be my favorite chapter so far?


	12. The night is cold in the kingdom, and I can feel you fade away

Chanyeol was out.

He had been out on a mission all morning, and Baekhyun had only woken up in order to pout tiredly for a goodbye kiss, and ask if he could play on his computer later.

To which, of course, his mate cooed that it was their computer, why else would the alpha buy games for it if Baekhyun couldn't play on it, and to get some more sleep for his crazy head.

But, Baekhyun was more awake when he next woke up, wide awake in fact, and was pouty when he noticed that Chanyeol hadn’t sent anyone to come stay with him today and had set all of the door alarms, so it was obvious that his mate forgot Baekhyun didn’t like to be alone. Or, he figured he would be back before the omega woke up again.

Baekhyun had very important things to do today though, very big, very important things!

He wanted to get Chanyeol something really fancy, something really nice for the alphas birthday next week, and he had ordered a really, really pretty gift for his mate, but he needed someone to help him pick it up.

So, he was calling everyone, even Chanyeol just to see who he took with him, because even Sehun could drive him.

But, nobody was answering, his mate didn’t answer because his cell phone was sitting on their side table, and Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol always left it there when they were home together because the omega sometimes had to call and find his own phone.

Baekhyun just couldn't believe Chanyeol had forgotten to take it with him - he was scolding his alpha when he got home, definitely!

Luhan wasn’t answering because he was probably working on the packs garden, Baekhyun usually got a text asking if he wanted to come over too, but knew that when he and Minseok fought Luhan liked to work on it alone.

That was okay too, but Baekhyun didn’t see anyone outside the pack house when he looked out the window. Not any of their cars.

Not even the big truck that Baekhyun knew the younger boys hated to drive to school because it was too hard to control.

So, he tried Junmyeon, no answer.

Then, he lingered on Yixings contact, but knew that the doctor tended to go to school on nights since omegas weren’t supposed to be on campus anyways, and he didn’t want to wake him up when it wasn’t even noon yet.

Baekhyun was growing frustrated, he was scared if he didn’t get to the store in time then his mate's gift would be taken - and he had paid for it to be wrapped and everything for his alpha!

As a last resort, he dialed Jongin, cringing a bit because he knew the alpha was supposed to be in school, but he also -secretly - knew that both Sehun and Jongin tended to skip sometimes, so Baekhyun didn’t feel that bad asking the alphas to come pick him up.

“Nini!” Baekhyun cried as soon as the alpha answered, “Jongin, I need you to do me a super big favor - really big!”

He heard Jongin laugh, and was relieved it seemed he wasn’t doing anything too important, _“Baek. What are you doing, weirdo? It’s barely ten, I’m at school.”_

“But- but, Jongin, just this once, okay? Just this once I need you to come pick me up, please?”

Baekhyun really didn’t need to beg, he knew that the teenager wasn’t busy at all, and Jongin wasn’t even interested in school because he - _another secret_ \- was more interested in making sure Kyungsoo was safe at home, and wanted to do online work just so he could be closer to the omega.

It wasn’t a surprise to Baekhyun at all, really not a surprise even though the seventeen year old had looked very sheepish when he admitted as much.

It had just made a lot of sense.

Jongin purposely fought at school until he was sent home, and most of those fights were over alphas and betas being disgusting about omegas.

It was a sad fact though, that more often than not Jongin was the one getting beat up because the ratio of good alphas like him versus alphas in general were zero to a hundred. So, it’s obvious to say that even if Jongin was a trained fighter, the teenager couldn’t go against twenty other alphas at once.

But, that never stopped Jongin from _trying_ even if he got grounded, because the pack told him to ignore them. 

Baekhyun just suspected he didn’t stop fighting because Kyungsoo looked rather proud of him as he told his stories, and the omega always cleaned his wounds for him.

And, the older members looked really proud even if they forced a scold on their faces.

 _“What do you need, silly? Why are you talking to me like that? You know whatever you need I’ll pick it up, Baek.”_ Jongin snickered like he was hilarious, and Baekhyun could hear muffled talking in the background and suspected that he and Sehun didn’t even go to class in the first place.

“I-I… Chanyeol’s birthday is next week, Jongin! I ordered a -“

_“Ah. Say no more, I’ll get it, Baekhyun. Where’s it at? Sehun and I were just debating on picking up something to eat, but we can pick up your gift, food, and come hideout at your house if Chanyeol's not home.”_

Baekhyun giggled, but was really happy that the younger members always were honest with him, and he was really proud to hold their secrets - even if he knew he wasn’t the _best_ influence on them.

But, he also felt that Sehun and Jongin knew more than school could offer them anyways, and he knew it hurt the alphas feelings and angered them when they had to sit through lesson upon lessons of ‘alpha rights’ courses, their history, skewed views of the lessening omega population, because who’s fault was it that they were lessening?

Alphas and betas that were killing them with their dominant needs and sick tempers.

“I’ll text you.” Baekhyun giggled, “And I want chicken - you know which one!”

 _“That settles it,”_ Jongin snorted, and Baekhyun heard Sehun whine something about him being biased towards Jongin simply because they both loved chicken more than Sehun did. _“I need to grab my computer from the house, Kyungsoo wants to come over too, so we’ll be a bit, Baek. Just send us whatever you ordered, and we’ll try to be as fast as we can.”_

“You’re the best!” Baekhyun bounced, his sweater falling off his shoulder as he leaned down to find his slippers by the door, “Love you guys, get home safe - and fast! I’ll be really mad if you guys take forever!”

 _“Yeah, yeah. Get some sleep, you sound tired.”_ Jongin snickered.

 _“Love you too!”_ Baekhyun heard Sehun call, and rolled his eyes at how different of responses he got, but they were all the same, still nice.

He heard the two start arguing something then, and wasn’t surprised when his phone started beeping signaling that they hung up, and he only laughed, sending Jongin his present information quickly and already impatiently peeking through the window by the front door.

He knew they said they would take forever, but Baekhyun wanted the present now, wanted to make sure it was perfect and decide if he needed to order something else instead.

It was only a matter of time before Chanyeol would notice that he spent such a big chunk of money from their account - well, technically Chanyeol's as omegas weren’t allowed to register for bank cards due to ‘ _unreliability_ ’ - but his alpha was quick to call bullshit and give Baekhyun all his information, even sweetly crossing out his own name on the top of his check to write in Baekhyun's.

It didn’t really matter because Baekhyun legally wasn’t allowed to own checks or anything of the sort, but it was the thought that counted.

Baekhyun had a really sweet alpha, and he was very excited to see the look on Chanyeol's face when he showed him the gift.

Baekhyun was super impatient though, and knew he wasn’t supposed to be hanging around the door so much, much less typing in the code to turn the alarms off and cracking it a bit.

He was on a time limit - there were only so many of the items in stock, and he wanted to have it quickly.

So, in order to save time and hurriedly get the present, he shifted on his feet in thought.

It would save the youngest two some time if he ran over to the house to collect Jongin's things and snatch Kyungsoo while he was at it.

It would save the alphas the time - and also lessen the risk of them both getting caught ditching school.

Just this once it should be okay to step out, right? _Just this one time,_ because it was going to be a quick run around the front fences to dive into the pack house.

 _Less than a minute,_ Baekhyun convinced himself.

But, stepping out he was filled with both excitement and anxiety the more steps he took towards the sidewalk, his slippers dragging on.

He never got to go outside by himself, and he never remembered to buy Chanyeol gifts on special occasions even if the alpha showered him with things on a weekly basis, so he felt really happy.

Baekhyun laughed to himself and glanced back at the door as he got by the mailbox, but was quickly frowning and looking at the paint splattered on the sidewalk where he usually stood every morning.

But, Chanyeol wasn’t in the doorway when he looked up, and he suddenly felt really sick. His stomach started twisting and he felt like he was doing something terribly wrong, like his alpha was going to be really upset.

 _It was okay though,_ he whispered to himself, because it was going to be _really_ fast, and he was already going towards the packs house, nearing their driveway, the front door just meters in front of him.

Chanyeol wouldn’t have to know a thing, he decided.

Chanyeol wouldn’t know he didn’t listen to him, and also convinced the younger boys it was okay to skip school.

His alpha wasn’t going to be upset with him at all - because he didn’t need to know Baekhyun did anything bad, and all Chanyeol would think is that Baekhyun made snacks with Kyungsoo all day, and that was perfectly normal.

As normal as Baekhyun leaving the house without anyone watching him, and without any of his alphas in sight, and the hair on the back of his neck was standing up as he saw a black car drive by slowly.

This didn’t seem like a good deal at all, his heart was suddenly panicking and he didn’t feel like this was the right thing to do even though he visited the pack house on a daily basis.

But he also visited with Yifan waiting by the front door to accept his hand.

With Jongdae peering through the window and on the phone with him the whole walk over.

Minseok usually waited on their separating wooden fence with Sehun and Zitao play fighting in the background, all gentle smiles and a very sweet comment, something like, _“Luhan really missed you today.” “Tao has some things to show you.” “Yixing has a really important surgery to learn, he’d be really glad if you cheered him up.”_

Or Chanyeol would be squeezing his fingers, maybe even having him thrown over his back and running over obnoxiously because he liked when Baekhyun was out of breath from laughter, most of the time it was with Baekhyun explaining something really unimportant on his hip, combing his hair out of his face with a cute pout and a, _“Alpha, are you listening to me!”_

Chanyeol was. He always was, and Baekhyun knew that, but he liked the teasing nips to his cheek and the, _“Nope, you’ll have to retell it all! I was distracted by your pretty face.”_

Baekhyun just felt very sick, very, very sick, and he didn’t know if it was his own panic that was causing his breath to quicken, or if it was the black car pulling up beside him.

He ran, he took off in a sprint, and he knew that the pack house wasn’t going to be unlocked since he hadn’t given anyone that was home a warning.

So, he ran down the street, ran so fast his slippers slipped off at random places and his bare feet were getting scraped on the cement.

_Baekhyun screamed, he screamed, and screamed, and screamed._

But, unlike what he had told Kyungsoo three years before when the omega used to be shy, small, and sweet - now, Kyungsoo was much stronger than him, much stronger than even alphas - _nobody came for Baekhyun._

Nobody was coming for him, because nobody knew he was out.

And it was a huge mistake.

A leg was thrown out in front of him, and Baekhyun didn’t see anything as he tripped and face planted into the middle of the street, then heard a mixture of laughing.

“Shut the bitch up!”

And Baekhyun still screamed. He still kicked, scratched, and screamed even if it was muffled by a hand.

“God! Stop moving! Dumb bitch!”

Baekhyun bit into the hand so hard he tasted blood, but felt something hard hit the back of his head - he’d never been hit before in his life, never in his life had he been hit. Never had Chanyeol ever hurt him, hit him, or even bruised him.

And it hurt, it hurt so bad Baekhyun lost vision for a moment and when he opened his eyes he was upside down over someone’s shoulder.

He saw his own blood drop on the pavement from the wound on his head, his eyes looking up when he heard the sound of a truck nearing.

And he saw Sehun and Jongin pulling up not even three homes away from where he was being carried into a black car.

Baekhyun screamed as loud as he could, the noise scratchy, but his mouth was uncovered so he saw the two alphas look his way.

In Jongin's hand was a black gift, wrapped up with a silver bow.

And Sehun was carrying a bag of food with his backpack loose on his shoulder.

_“Hey!”_

They ran to help, dropping everything in their hands, but it was too late.

Baekhyun was already being shoved into the car, not even paying attention to his captors screaming at eachother to fucking drive.

He leaned over the back seat and started hitting at the back window, screaming, watching Sehun and Jongin run after him.

But, him bringing attention must have annoyed his captors too much, and a hand curled into the back of his hair and his temple _slammed_ into the glass, he was out immediately.

Baekhyun just wanted to give Chanyeol something really sweet, he never meant for this to happen.

_**He really should have listened.** _


	13. Tonight I think I’ll write the saddest song

_“What the fuck are you talking about?”_

Sehun panted, and cried louder as he threw Baekhyun's slipper across the living room.

One of two slippers that he and Jongin had found on their search of the neighborhood after running after the car as long as they could.

Longer than what should be physically possible because the youngests were in actual pain, lungs strained because they ran as fast as they could back when they lost it.

“B-Baek- Baekhy..” Yixing sniffed into his shirt, and Chanyeol wasn’t even home, none of the older alphas were home, but this was already terrifying without the added anger and red eyes. 

_“No!”_ Chanyeol barked, and even through the phone they could hear how absolutely livid he was even though they hadn’t even told him more than Baekhyun didn’t stay home - they hadn’t even said that he was kidnapped, that he was stolen, but the alpha wasn’t stupid, he knew Baekhyun was too good an omega just to leave alone, _“You say that again I’ll rip your goddamn throat out! Baekhyun isn’t fucking stupid! He’s at home! He’s going to be fucking home, and he’s going to be sitting in my office playing games - b-because that’s what Baekhyun does! Shut the fuck up!”_

They knew Chanyeol would never hurt them, even if he claimed as much, but over Baekhyun they weren’t sure exactly what the alpha was willing to do.

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae whispered, “He’s not. He’s not there. Sehun and Jongin… they, they saw-“

_“Did you check the study? Huh? Check the closet, sometimes he-he gets over excited and gets himself blocked in - I-oh, also the… the laundry room, maybe he.. he made a mess and feels bad, it happens, okay? It happens and Baekhyun will feel bad and try to fix things and make it worse, he’s probably just hiding whatever he broke. Did.. did you-“_

“Fuck you!” Jongin always had a temper, but if it was about something so important and emotional it was a million times worse, “I just… I just wanted my brother get knocked out and stolen! _Fuck you,_ he’s my family too!” 

“Chanyeol, he’s not there. He’s not there because they just saw him get taken.” Kyungsoo cried, “The… they, alpha, they tried! They tried and they took him anyway! They took our brother anyway! What do we do? W-what? What… there’s… alpha, there’s blood… there’s blood and he- he’s an _omega_! He.. there’s- Chanyeol!” 

Kyungsoo wasn’t the type to cry. Kyungsoo wasn’t the type to even scream or yell, he wasn’t the type to get worked up at all, he didn't even flinch when he was once knocked flat out by Zitao when they trained.

But he was sobbing, he was shaking and crying, and Chanyeol was always weak for him since the moment they saved him.

But it didn’t help that his mate was just stolen, and Chanyeol was not a cruel person, but he was ready to kill. 

_“Blood? Baekhyun was bleeding and you heard nothing? He… what? Did he run too? I bet he fucking ran and I bet he fucking yelled because my mate is smart! My mate would yell and he would cry and make all the noise in the world - fight back as loud as he could - and you heard nothing? Nothing? That’s my goddamn mate! That’s my fucking mate- my fucking mate! And you’re telling me he was in pain? No. No. No. No! You don’t lie to me! I’ll fucking - I’ll fuc- tell me you’re lying! Tell me! Tell me this is a sick joke! Baekhyun- this isn’t funny! This is not funny-“_

Whatever Chanyeol was doing on the other end must have been pretty bad, because Yifan’s growl was cutting him off, and the two never fought but it sounded an awful lot like they were.

“We’re on the way,” Minseok’s voice cut in, and even he sounded tearful, “We’re on the way, it’s not your guys fault, okay? Just.. just… do us a favor and clean up any blood that’s out there… really, just… Chanyeol - he, you know. You know, he’s scared. It’s really not your fault though, and he knows that too, okay? He’s really scared. _We’re all really scared.”_

~~~~~~

“So that’s it, huh?” 

Chanyeol didn’t even flinch as Minseok turned on the light, not moving an inch.

And he must have looked extremely pathetic, incredibly pathetic just sitting on the floor backed into his bookshelf, hidden as much as he could in the corner of his study.

There was nowhere else for him to go.

Everywhere else smelled like Baekhyun too much, everywhere else had the omega written all over it, and he couldn’t catch a _fucking_ break and even this room didn’t calm him at all.

Because they spent so much time in here together.

They spent so many hours just sitting silent together in the study.

Sometimes filled with Baekhyun humming while he painted a mess in the corner of the room; sometimes it was just listening to the omega laugh as he watched something on his phone while spread across the leather couch across the room. 

Sometimes it was just Chanyeol turning to watch Baekhyun sniff, puppy-like in his sleep as he napped the day away, but the omega always wanted to remain close to his mate. 

The blanket that Chanyeol had draped over Baekhyun's chest days ago was still flipped around on the floor, and there was even an empty wrapper from his mate's candy that Chanyeol scolded him for eating for breakfast a week ago.

But, Chanyeol was positive if anyone tried to touch the mess now that he’d bite their heads off, literally.

“Kyungsoo needs his laptop back to do his homework, you can’t just… Chanyeol, we’ve gone through all the footage a hundred times, you saw what we all saw.” 

“What? What exactly?” Chanyeol hissed, it was delayed from his lack of sleep, and it was threatening, Minseok flinched, but as the eldest he was the one that took it upon himself to deal with this. “My mate, face down in his own blood? Is that what I saw? Is that what I fucking saw? Did I see my mate be dragged away from here? Me? From me? My mate stolen from _me!”_

“Bae-“

“Don’t fucking say his name!” Chanyeol screamed, a week's worth of haze making it difficult for him to even put all his strength into hitting his palm on the edge of his desk, and knew he must look like a huge child as he kicked at the wheels of his desk chair. “ _You_ don’t say it, _nobody_ says it, got it? Got it? I don’t want to hear it!” 

“You’re fucking pathetic,” Minseok spat, but it was calm despite that he was genuinely afraid of Chanyeol's red eyes, “You're just going to sit here? Like this? You’re just going to get drunk and cry? Just drink until you pass out, and then what? Wake up and drink more? Cry more?” 

Chanyeol furrowed his brow in anger, and knew how bad he must look, knew how he hadn’t showered in a week, knew he hadn’t rested in a week, eyes red from just sitting and watching the same footage from his and the packs cameras - crying, then sobbing, then screaming.

And he knew they worried about him. 

But he wasn’t worried at all - not about himself. Not about anything at the moment other than Baekhyun.

Baekhyun who looked adorable as he stepped off the porch a week ago, an obvious excited perk in his step.

Baekhyun who was so innocent and pure - and Chanyeol was his downfall.

Baekhyun who was probably dead. Probably dead and it was Chanyeol's fault for ever loving him.

Chanyeol burst with a sob, and didn’t even have it in him to cover it up even though it was pathetic - and Minseok was right, he was pathetic, and he was doing absolutely nothing.

Because he _had_ nothing to do.

The first day he had stormed into others territory to get his mate back, the first day he had gone hours soaked in innocent - well, they were alphas so they were far from innocent - peoples blood, burning holes into all of the computers and electronics he made the pack give up, as if having more than one would change the footage that gave them no clues. 

No fucking clues at all. 

The best they had were the two youngests descriptions of the events after their porch cameras last caught Baekhyun walking off. Nothing more.

Not even a license plate, and Chanyeol knew he shouldn’t blame them for not trying to memorize it - they must have been been terrified - but a sick part of him did, a sick part of him screamed that they should have tried harder, that they were alphas and Baekhyun was an omega and that they should’ve fought harder for him.

_Because Chanyeol would have._

Would have blew up the goddamn block just to stop that fucking car from driving away - even if he knew he was being completely unrealistic and the truth was that Sehun and Jongin had done what they could while high on adrenaline and vision blurring fear. 

Now, it was mostly Yifan that was taking over, because Chanyeol wasn’t able to function, because he had literally been in this same spot more than twenty four hours. 

Yifan was looking. Sehun was looking, even Yixing was keeping an eye out. The whole pack was looking, but Chanyeol would rather die than face whatever they would find.

Because he already knew Baekhyun had to be dead, he had to be dead, and Chanyeol hoped he was.

Because he knew all too well.

And Baekhyun knew all too well.

Chanyeol would rather Baekhyun be _dead_ than any of the alternatives.

But he didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t want to know anything. 

Even if it was good. He didn’t want it.

Nothing was going to bring his mate back, and even if Chanyeol had the energy to help it wouldn’t change that they had absolutely nothing to go off of.

So, yes he was going to drink until his cells burst. 

He was going to stay up until he passed out, and if he was lucky then maybe he’d fall - never wake up. 

Until then he was going to cry, and he was going to sob, and he was going to waste away, because he had nothing else to fucking _do._

Because this was his fault.

His fault. His fault. It was Chanyeol's _fault._

He shouldn’t have ever been in that alley to begin with. He shouldn’t have ever let himself be swayed by that pretty smile, and he definitely shouldn’t have fallen head first for the omega three years before. 

Baekhyun was dead, and it was his fault. 

“He got this for you,” Minseok growled, tossing a black box onto the floor at Chanyeol's side, giving him a disgusted, but concerned look. “Take a fucking shower. We’ll all be coming by to clean your fucking house soon, don’t scare the kids. At least try to give them a little hope.” 

_Hope,_ Chanyeol wanted to scoff because he had none of that to offer, but he was busy shakily picking up the present. 

“Happy birthday, Chanyeol.” 

Chanyeol heard the door shut and didn’t even bother to quiet his scream even though he knew Minseok could hear it - along with whoever else he was sure was here, because he knew the sound of multiple footsteps.

_“Bullshit!”_

He grabbed the present and threw it across the room, it hit the bookshelf at the opposite end and he immediately felt even worse as he noticed the black box was now dented and the wrapping paper was peeling.

Chanyeol sobbed, pulling his knees to his chest to tear at his hair for a moment, “I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry, I’m sorry. Baekhyun, I’m sorry.” 

He was immediately getting up to get the present, because he felt worse having disrespected the gift like that, felt like it was the worst thing he could have possibly done.

He sniffed and coughed slightly into his arm, grimacing at how dried blood settled into his sleeves - not his, but he wished it was - and maybe Minseok was right, and he really could use a shower. 

Chanyeol had already ruined the wrapping, so it wasn’t that big of a deal as he pulled the ribbon off and started opening it.

He also should have known, should have known his mate was always one to be so sweet. Was always sentimental and relied on the same routines, the same jokes, the same things for comfort.

And Baekhyun really loved the planets.

Ever since his mate had started the habit of pretending which planet they should go to - which place was the safest for an omega like him - Baekhyun had been obsessed.

He read up about them, he had so many facts to share, and so much to explain.

If Baekhyun liked them, then Chanyeol did too. If they comforted Baekhyun, they comforted Chanyeol also.

But, it should be the omega here to give him the gift, to watch Chanyeol rub his thumb over the diamond encrusted necklace. 

_“It’s your favorite, do you like it?”_

Venus was his favorite, because it was bright and it was beaming and reminded him of Baekhyun. 

_“Venus is named after the goddess of love, did you know, Chanyeol?”_

Chanyeol did know, because Baekhyun told him the same facts millions of times, but he always pretended not to.

But Baekhyun wasn’t here.

He wasn’t here, so Chanyeol had nothing to say. 

He had nothing to say, and only pulled the necklace to his lips, and shook. 

_“Did you know that mercury is still shrinking?”_

“I didn’t, darling. That’s interesting.” 

_“Do you want to listen to me read my book, alpha? It’s all about them.. and all about the stars too, and also moons. I really like it so much.”_

“There’s nothing else I’d rather listen to, my love.” 


	14. Drowning his troubles in whiskey bubbles, just looking for trouble

At this point it was all a nightmare.

Chanyeol ate what was forced at him, but he didn’t have an appetite.

He tried to sleep, but he could rarely enter their bedroom without passing out cold.

He attempted to calm his nerves, but the pack was only more worried about the bottles stacking up in every room of the house.

But, that was one thing Chanyeol wouldn’t allow.

The pack could rummage through all their things as they wanted, came at least every few days just to make sure he was showering, that he was taking care of himself and still standing - and three of which were debatable topics.

But they absolutely could not take away the alcohol.

It barely soothed the burn, but for at least an hour it did. For at least an hour he was able to be stupidly drunk and laugh, smile, even if it was to himself and curled up somewhere dark like a child.

But, as soon as his body burned it off it was just nothing. Nothing unless it was guilt, pain, only things that had him on his knees, shaking, having a panic attack.

Chanyeol didn’t think it was much of an issue, but when Yixing caught him passed out in a drunken stupor, fallen on the stairs, it probably looked really bad even if Chanyeol didn’t give a fuck that he had a knot on his temple and had bruises from his landing.

There wasn’t very much Chanyeol gave a fuck about these days anyways.

But, there were some things that he very much gave fucks about, there were some things he was willing to fight his own pack over.

Such as the mess of paint supplies left sitting on the table by the kitchen that Baekhyun had forgotten to put up - it was all dried out by now, useless. It was garbage, but Chanyeol nearly took Jongdae down for suggesting they throw it out.

Or the stack of clothes sitting by the washer that were beginning to lose all scent, Chanyeol still claimed they smelled like Baekhyun - one of the few things that hadn’t faded yet - but the truth was they had long faded too.

It was too much to acknowledge the truth though, much easier to just let things pass by in a furious haze than move a muscle.

And Chanyeol was learning that the hard way.

“What about this?”

“Toss it.” He heard Yixing reply to Junmyeon, and didn’t bother looking away from where he was staring out of the study window.

The light poured in a line at an angle, and if Baekhyun were here Chanyeol knew he’d see the omega curled up in it like a kitten.

It hurt, so he took _another_ drink.

“God. Yeol. You really need to slow down.” Yixing worried, passing Yifan a full trash bag of glass bottles.

“What do you want from me?” Chanyeol sighed, licking his chapped lips and only leaning over his desk to press his sunken cheek down on the surface.

Briefly, he had the thought that as he stared at the alcohol beside his face it looked very pretty, the colors in the light, but he grimaced and moved the glass out of the stripe of sunlight.

_He just didn’t like pretty things anymore._

“We want you to get some sleep. To drink something that’s not alcohol, and to get your head together.” Luhan hissed, and the omega never was one to beat around the bush about anything, but he never tested Chanyeol's nerves more than now.

“Wish Baekhyun was here to fight with you,” He snapped, and everyone quieted down a little, because Chanyeol didn’t usually say Baekhyun's name, and he also didn’t usually have coherent responses other than yelling or telling them to get out.

The silence was interrupted only by the sound of Jongin cursing and the sound of something hitting the ground.

Chanyeol sat up straight with a frown at the younger alpha repeatedly cussing.

“What’s that?” He questioned, eyeing Jongin's back as he and Yifan whispered to each other, an item shielded between them as they both knelt on the floor, “Hey. What happened?”

Chanyeol was fed up with the lack of response and pressed his palms on his desk as he stood up, “What the fuck was that?”

“Chanyeol. Calm down.” Junmyeon soothed, walking over to the alpha with a hand up, “It was an accident.”

Chanyeol was tired of beating around the bush and ignored the hand to walk over towards the doorway, “What happened?” He demanded, hovering over Jongin and Yifan.

The second youngest sat back with wide, teary eyes and Chanyeol would normally ask why he was so upset, but the alpha now was pissed.

In Jongin's hand was not just any painting, but the one Baekhyun had given him so sweetly as a confession so long ago.

Only it was chipped, the paint that was on the corner had chipped off when Jongin accidentally knocked it down.

It was still beautiful, it was still pretty, and it wasn’t that bad.

Except it was. It was that bad, and where it once read _‘please love me, alpha’_ was only a _‘please love m-‘_

And that wasn’t okay at all. It wasn’t okay even the slightest bit and Chanyeol fell to his knees.

He fell to the floor and didn’t even try to soften his fall even though Yifan tried to help him, and he snatched the painting from Jongin's hand to press to his chest, placing his forehead on the edge of it and growling a possessive, painful noise.

“Chanyeol..”

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I still love you. Still love you, it’s okay.”

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo tried, teary eyed.

“It’s okay. Baekhyun, it’s fine, I-it’s fine. It’s fine.”

“Cha-“

“Get out!” Chanyeol hissed, not even pulling away from the painting that was collecting his tears, “Get _out!”_

“We’re really worried, Cha-“

“Get out of our house!” The alpha screamed, voice so loud it shook the room, “Get out! Leave us alone!”

“Chanyeol,” Luhan said firmly as they all hurried out of the door, “You know… you know… he’s not here, right?”

Chanyeol screeched a strangled noise, “Of course I know. I’m all alone, _I’m all alone._ It’s just me now, let me do what I fucking want!”

Luhan gulped, wishing he had more to offer, but Chanyeol was alone, and they were helping the best they could, so he only shut the door behind him.

~~~~~~~

Nights were the worst.

Because usually Baekhyun was there to cuddle up to his side, to kiss him, to needily purr into his arm for attention.

But he wasn’t.

And on the rare chance he made it past the doorway to their room it was like this.

Chanyeol was shitfaced drunk, leg thrown over the blankets, and Baekhyun's side of the bed was flat, empty.

Of course it was, because Chanyeol was alone, he had nobody to talk to, and he deserved it.

“Do you want to do something tomorrow?” He whispered, pressing his hands under his pillows and maybe he could pretend the warmth was Baekhyun if he tried hard enough. “I’ll do anything.”

“You never told me why you liked purple now, you were supposed to tell me.” Chanyeol continued, turning on his back to stare at the ceiling fan, it made his stomach churn in the wrong way, but that was probably mostly due to his head spinning, “I thought you liked blue still, but then you changed it to black, and then purple again.”

“You’re supposed to tell me t-these things.” He scolded, “Okay? Right? You have to tell me these things so I can know and only give you purple things if you like it so much. Right, b-baby? Right? Right?” His fingers drifted towards his head and scratched at his temple with a groan, _“Please tell me! Please!”_

He was drunk as all hell, and it was completely unfair that it was wearing off so soon.

Chanyeol sat up with a noise close to a wail, but only threw his head down onto his knees to curl closer together, and that warmth was supposed to calm him down.

Yixing said if he thought he was having a panic attack then it might help, that people calmed easier when curled up.

It didn’t feel like it did much but make Chanyeol feel like he was suffocating. But that was okay, because he deserved that too.

_“Alpha!”_

He completely froze, spine turning stiff and he was scared to move at all.

_“Alpha! Now you’re just being silly!”_

Chanyeol cried wetly into his knee, scratching the back of his neck, “Why’s that?”

 _“Because it’s bedtime!”_ Baekhyun laughed, _“Bedtime and you know I get cranky without enough sleep, you’re supposed to tell me goodnight!”_

He had to look, had to see, and he didn’t care if he was losing his mind so long as he caught a glimpse.

Baekhyun was beautiful.

Always.

And even in an illusion he wasn’t anything but a pretty grin and half lidded, tired eyes, cheek pressed on his side of the bed and legs pulled to his chest like a tiny ball, and Chanyeol knew he preferred to sleep cuddled, but if he was only napping then it was this tiny little ball.

“B-Bae-I’m sorry, alpha is sorry!” Chanyeol wiping his nose on his sleeve and went to reach out, anything to run his fingers over Baekhyun's skin, to have the omega lean up into his palm, for him to kiss at his fingers as his mate always did, “Baby. Baby. My love, I’m so sorry. Love you so much, so-so much s-so- Baekhyu-“

 _“You can’t touch me,”_ Baekhyun whispered, and Chanyeol's entire body dropped, stiffening as he pulled his hand back to his chest, _“If you touch me, I have to leave.”_

“Don’t leave!” Chanyeol screamed immediately, much louder than he intended as he hurriedly laid back on his side, “Don't go, don’t leave. Don’t go- I won’t touch you.”

Chanyeol’s leg was almost brushing the illusion, and he was tempted to see if he could feel it too, it this Baekhyun felt the same.

But the fruity scent that Baekhyun carried didn’t even smell the same as he looked at the illusion more, it was faded, old. Nothing but the memory - or illusion - that he was smelling it in the first place.

But he looked like Baekhyun. Looked like the omega down to the freckle sitting on his temple and the pink to his cheeks.

“Don’t leave me.”

_“Chanyeol.”_

The alpha nodded, and didn’t bother wiping the tears dropping down his face, if this were Baekhyun then his mate would do so for him.

_“You know I’m not real, right?”_

“I know.” Chanyeol cried, scrunching his nose in pain, because even the illusion of Baekhyun sounded like rain hitting a rooftop, pleasant, but painful. “But you’re all I have. So don’t go. D-Don’t go, okay? Baby, you’re all I have. And I need y-you, sweetheart.”

The illusion reached out as if to touch his face and Chanyeol saw that the closer it got the more faded Baekhyun's fingers became, the less clear the image was and he flinched back.

 _“As long as you know,”_ Baekhyun whispered, placing a tired smile on his face and taking his hand back under his own chin, _“Then I can stay a while longer.”_

“Always stay.” Chanyeol said instantly, eyes struggling to stay open from his lack of rest, “You… you promised me, you don’t break promises, Baekhyun. You never did.”

 _“Go to sleep,”_ The omega cooed, _“Go to sleep and we can try again tomorrow.”_

Chanyeol didn’t want to do anything but stay awake and stare at the illusion all night, make sure that he didn’t miss anything and make sure that it didn’t leave.

But this wasn’t Baekhyun.

And no matter how hard he tried this wasn’t going to be Baekhyun.

He wasn’t ever going to get his hair brushed from his face, wasn’t ever going to be stared at so lovingly without any fear, wasn’t ever going to be able to smell the fresh scent of strawberries when Baekhyun woke up in a good mood.

Chanyeol would take what he could get.

Even if he knew it wasn’t real at all, because he wanted it to be so bad.

And, maybe if he convinced himself enough, it could be real to him.

At least drunk he could fool himself into thinking things were better when facing a replica of his mate, but when he blinked his eyes the next morning, sober, he knew it was hopeless.

And had to reach for another bottle, hoping maybe the illusion would come back and smile at him some more.

_Luhan was right, Baekhyun wasn’t home._


	15. Come down to my level, hang out with the devil

Baekhyun wheezed, unsurprised by the hand at the back of his neck, but still caught up in trying to catch his own breath.

It was hard these days though.

Hard to do anything.

Hard to talk, hard to sleep, hard to breathe.

But, he was _still_ doing it.

Baekhyun was still fighting even though he had, literally, been stripped down to nothing. Physically and mentally he had nothing left.

He no longer owned his own body as Chanyeol has always told him he did.

He no longer was a pure and innocent omega, skin smooth and tinted healthily.

And he no longer was fed praise, affection, and the attention of kind people, of people who loved him just as he loved them.

Baekhyun just passed days by, slowly, achingly.

Pain he had never felt that covered his nude body, and it wasn’t worth the physical fight anymore, it wasn’t worth his tears.

Because they were finished for today, and he was being thrown back into his locked bathroom, as usual, and that was the best part about today.

At least he had a few hours to himself, if he was lucky his captors would pass out on their drugs and then he’d be left with even more time before they took him out for another round of games.

Baekhyun remembered once telling Zitao that he had never had something as bad as what happened to the youngest occur towards him, and now it was a _lie._

It was a cruel, dirty, and sinful lie and he wanted to see Zitao to take it back, to scream about how he _understood_ and about how it wasn’t _fair_ that he had these things taken from him without a say. 

Without much more than filthy insults until he had to listen.

Baekhyun liked the days they left his body alone much more than being forced face first into a bed, onto the dirty wood, anywhere the alphas could place him in order to share their turn with him.

He liked to bleed instead.

He liked the days they beat him much better.

It wasn’t even because he didn’t listen anymore, as the first few days the hits were excused by him fighting back, but now - now Baekhyun didn’t fight back and he felt it was even worse than it had been.

With his eye swollen closed and his knee aching, he struggled to grasp the edge of the dirty sink when he was shoved inside, forced to face the mirror as he waited for the alpha to lock the door behind him.

Baekhyun heard the click and only then did he feel safer, not safe, but safer than moments before.

He gulped and glanced into the dirty mirror, but all he saw was someone _filthy._

A filthy omega that was disgusting, something no right minded alpha would touch - and Baekhyun wondered if his chances were lost.

If Chanyeol was never going to see him again, and he kind of didn’t want to see his own mate either.

Because he was disgusted by himself, and he was angry at himself.

_Why did you have to leave?_

_Why did you think it was okay?_

_Why did you fool yourself that it was safe?_

_Nowhere was safe._

Baekhyun screamed in the mirror and his hand came out to crack the surface, the sounds drowned out by the laughing addicts of the room over, and that only made him more mad, more upset that nobody could hear his pain.

He was tired of crying, and he had nothing left to give but his tears, and they didn’t deserve the satisfaction.

He climbed into the bathtub to curl up as comfortably as he could with aching all over his body, placing his hands against his neck because he only had one comforting thing left since his clothes had been stolen.

As long as Chanyeol's bite was there, Baekhyun hoped the alpha still wanted him.

And, even if Baekhyun didn’t make it out alive, he hoped Chanyeol would be happy to see him again.

Even if he wasn’t the same at all, he still loved Chanyeol, and he still wanted the alpha to keep him despite being nothing but a walking corpse.

_Baekhyun went to sleep wishing he was only Chanyeol’s again._

~~~~~~

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol sighed, frustrated as he laid his hand beside his ear, trying to drown out the noise.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him today.

Usually, he wanted to drown himself in his mates voice; usually, the alpha would have a great day so long as Baekhyun appeared.

But even if he drank until stumbling on his feet, something wasn’t right today.

Chanyeol never considered Baekhyun annoying - the real Baekhyun - but this illusion, this ghost of him was annoying the shit out of him today.

Because it wasn’t real and every world the ghost was saying, every little action it did was Baekhyun.

Except it wasn’t, he wasn’t Baekhyun and it felt like Chanyeol was listening to a stranger, even if it said all the same things as his mate, it did all the little things his mate did, and it looked identical to Baekhyun.

But, today, everytime he heard the voice it only hurt his head, and even looking at the illusion didn’t feel like he was seeing Baekhyun.

 _“But alpha!”_ The illusion pouted, and it was Baekhyun, but it was not his mate, _“I think that this one should go on your wall and we should switch them around a tiny bit, just a little! Don’t you think, alpha?”_

Chanyeol gritted his teeth and shook his head a small bit as he looked at Baekhyun.

He, it, was only walking around the living room and pointing out paintings - ones Chanyeol's actual mate created - but it felt like he was offending the alpha in some way. Chanyeol felt like he was being challenged or something of the sort, which was irrational, but he couldn’t continue to brush it off as a drunken rage when he wasn’t very drunk anymore.

Maybe he just needed more, he thought, standing up to stumble towards the dining table.

It was full of just recently bought alcohol, and Chanyeol remembered being scared to leave the house in fear that Baekhyun wouldn’t be here when he returned, but it hardly mattered when his home wasn’t full of the omega anyways.

“Do we have to do this right now, darling? Alpha feels a little sick, just give me a minute, baby.” Chanyeol requested, digging out a new bottle of whiskey and turning to Baekhyun with a raised brow, “Hm? Is that okay, my love? Cut alpha a break. You get so excited, and I love it, but I need a break.”

 _“Break?”_ Baekhyun whispered, linking his hands together nervously, _“Break? From me, alpha? Was… I was being too annoying… I’m sorry, I’ll be really good now, promise.”_

Chanyeol normally would find him adorable, and be fast to apologize to Baekhyun for coming off so rude, but now he only flared his nostrils and took a big gulp before walking back into the living room, “Stop it, please. Don’t be like this.”

Baekhyun frowned, crossing his arms more sadly and leaning against the bookshelf across the room from where Chanyeol was going to sit down, _“What's wrong? Alpha… I-I don’t know what’s wrong, I made you mad, and I’m really sorry. I'll listen now.”_

“Can you-“ Chanyeol hissed and used his hand not holding the bottle to grab the wall as he felt the irrational anger build up, “You know what, you wanna know what’s wrong, fine. What’s wrong is that you’re not my goddamn mate! You’re not my fucking mate, you’re not my omega, and you’re not Baekhyun! Okay? Stop fucking - don’t be so much like him, alright? Y-You are not him! You can’t be him!”

He didn’t know he could be this mad at relatively nothing, but his arm flung out and his glass bottle of whiskey was shattering loudly against the wall, the contents pouring in what will be a stain on the carpet.

Chanyeol growled and turned to knock a few figurines off the mantel and to press his forehead against the wall as he tried to control himself from doing something insane.

Insane like trying to hurt a fucking illusion.

Chanyeol would never hurt Baekhyun, even if he was this livid with something the omega did or said he would never even think to lay a hand on him.

But this _wasn’t_ Baekhyun, even if he wanted it to be - and that’s why he was so pissed off.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, eyes closed as he shielded his face with his palms and breathed heavily, “Baby. I’m sorry, I got carried away.”

Chanyeol exhaled loudly and removed his hands to spin around and look where Baekhyun once stood, but he was gone.

“Baek?”

“Hey… hey, we need to talk! You can’t just run away!”

“Listen…. I know I scared you, sweetheart. I know, alpha is really sorry and it won’t happen again.”

He waited a few more minutes before the panic started setting in, and it was so familiar to the stress he felt when Baekhyun had crawled out of bed while he slept, directly after their worst fight.

Chanyeol was going to be alone, again.

He couldn’t have that - he couldn’t live with that - Chanyeol needed something to fill the silence even if it was something only he could hear.

“H-Hey!”

He screamed, numb limbs having a hard time listening as he walked, “Baek! Come back, please! Please, please!”

“Baby… baby, please come back, you know this scares me!”

“I love you, please come back!”

Chanyeol’s breath picked up and he wasn’t sure if it was the panic or the alcohol that had him stumbling and his heart was pumping so fast he nearly knocked the bag of fresh bottles from the table - and he couldn’t have that, couldn't have that at all, he **needed** those.

If he didn’t have them he didn’t know that Baekhyun would come back again.

Maybe he just wasn’t drunk enough, he concluded, but his hands weren’t complying as he tried to open one of the bottles, setting it on the table too roughly that the side of the glass cracked and he cursed as tears began to fall unwillingly.

Crying over spilt alcohol sounded funny, but it wasn't.

It wasn’t because he couldn’t open the fucking bottle, and he needed to see Baekhyun, needed to apologize and know that his mate accepted all his apologies and could love him too.

Chanyeol wasn’t coherent enough to figure out another way, there wasn’t any other options and there was only one thing he could think of.

He wasn’t unstable enough and that’s why Baekhyun wasn’t coming back.

The alcohol wasn’t keeping him drunk enough to see the omega, so he needed another option.

He needed to get high. He needed to get high enough that Baekhyun stayed with him, right by his side and rattled about the most random of shit that he didn’t give any fucks about, but would pretend to just so Baekhyun continued to talk.

Chanyeol was pulling open the medicine drawer immediately, and he wasn’t an addict, he had no idea truthfully of what was good for what, people paid him to sell on his territory - but that didn’t mean he understood what the hell could get him high enough.

He settled for anything, opening anything his shaking hands could get open and tossing it on the counter.

But the pile didn’t look big enough, it didn’t look like enough and he leaned over it to sob because that’s all he had - all he could take because his body didn’t want to comply with his needs.

“Chanyeol?” Sehun asked as he opened the front door. “Hey. We heard… screaming.”

“What the- the hell are you doing? This place is a disaster!”

“What…. did you take any of these?” Yixing cried, kneeling down to read labels of the discarded bottles tossed all around the kitchen.

Yifan stepped over the empty bottles to come around the island, yanking Chanyeol's arm back, “Did you take these? What the fuck, man? Did you take these?”

“We have to make him throw up!” Yixing demanded, wide eyed as he threw the bottle in his hand back down, “What the actual fuck, Chanyeol? How many did you take? Are you drunk too? Fuck. We might have to take him to the hospital.”

“... did… you tried to kill y-yourself?”

Chanyeol heard Jongdae stutter, and shook his head, closing his eyes because everything sounded so fucking loud, “No, didn’t take them.”

He had half a mind to ask if they had anything better, but knew they were assuming the worst of the situation right now, and asking for drugs wouldn’t make himself look good at all, much less him assuming they had any.

“Clean it all out - everything. Everything in this fucking house is getting cleaned out, do you _hear_ me, Chanyeol?” Minseok ordered, demanding as he pointed a finger at the alpha, “It’s this or you’re going to be shadowed and watched like a fucking hawk.”

Chanyeol wasn’t paying attention though, because as Yifan forced him into a chair he briefly looked around at the horror filled faces of his family, probably because of the state of the house - but more so at the state he was in.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol smiled, throwing his head back in a laugh as he saw the omega run into the living room, looking rightfully freaked out at the commotion.

“Chanyeol…” Yifan whispered to his right, grabbing Chanyeol's wrist tightly to get his attention. “Chanyeol. You… he's not here, Yeol. He’s not here, and we’re still looking. And we’re sorry.”

“Jooheon and his pack are tracking cars matching our description,” Jongin added quietly.

“I know.” Chanyeol murmured, leaning back his head with a lazy smile, watching the illusion perch himself on the bottom of the stairs, never close to any one member. _“He’s not here anymore.”_


	16. Be too far away to hold, but close enough to break my heart

Baekhyun knew better than to have gone outside without one of his pack's alphas scenting him, especially with the pack rivalries going on in the city, but it was a small slip up.

But the consequences were grand.

It had been days, weeks, or months since he had been snatched off their street, he didn’t even have a concept of time anymore.

Not after the first day he had been tossed into a locked bathroom, it was dirty, filthy inside with no windows.

Not after the second day when they touched him the first time.

Or even after the following days of being beat, of being forced to mate.

Baekhyun just really wanted Chanyeol back, and he couldn’t hold out hope any longer, not when his bones protested against his skin, or when his eye was so bruised there really was no point in keeping them open.

It would just be the same routine anyways.

The same alphas coming in to toss him around, the same betas to deal him out like he was a toy - like he was an object to be given as they pleased.

Chanyeol would tell him he wasn’t - his mate would never let Baekhyun be shared, he had shown so a million times.

Shown his possessiveness by biting into the throats of alphas who dared to try and pull Baekhyun from Chanyeol’s side.

Shown his love by not allowing Baekhyun to be dealt with as an object even if getting rid of him could have helped with the pack rivalries going on in the city.

Baekhyun just really loved Chanyeol.

Had always loved his alpha since the moment he peeked underneath Chanyeol’s hood.

Originally, he had been peeking just because he was going to thank the alpha.

But he hadn’t expected such a handsome, and in a way, soft looking alpha.

If he ever told Chanyeol he looked soft the alpha was likely to throw him over his shoulder, growling and pinching his leg, _“Who’s soft, baby? You're calling alpha soft, you're crazy!”_

Maybe Baekhyun was a little crazy to think so, because when he looked under the alphas hood all he saw was blood dripping down the man’s chin, teeth tinted red as Chanyeol wiped what blood was dripping from his face.

But Baekhyun didn't care about any of that.

Blood was normal, fighting was normal, and alphas attempting to steal him was normal.

But Chanyeol's eyes were soft, especially for an alpha, and they were worried, and his black hair fell slightly over his forehead and Baekhyun knew. He just knew then that this was his alpha, and he wasn’t willing to have it any other way.

If not Chanyeol, then it was nobody.

And even through all of this, Baekhyun was adamant that Chanyeol was still his alpha. He had to be. He had to take care of him.

Even if he couldn’t at the moment.

Baekhyun should have been smarter, he should have listened, and he most definitely should have paid more attention to his goddamn surroundings.

Chanyeol was powerful, he was ruling a city, he was doing what he could in order for his family to have plentiful, happy, and wealthy lives.

But, in the end, Baekhyun was an omega.

And Baekhyun wasn’t supposed to leave the house without someone watching him, even if he thought it was safe.

He had thought their neighborhood was safe, but how safe could a pack really get when they were doing so many “bad” things as Chanyeol and the pack were?

Baekhyun was biased in overlooking these “bad” things.

Because he didn’t care about any other alphas and betas than those that were in his own pack, especially not now - definitely not now. 

And it was sad, because years ago he cared about people no matter their status, but he physically couldn’t even care about anything but trying to breathe and not choke on his own tears - or blood.

Currently, he laid on the towel on the floor and he knew that once the light flicked on in the other room that he should prepare to be forced to his weak, bruised knees - or to protect his head as best he could.

But the bathroom door wasn’t unlocking, and he couldn’t hear very much going on in the other room.

It sounded like running around, frantic running.

 _“Did you know it was Exo’s bitch!”_ He heard roared, and raised a brow curiously.

Baekhyun didn’t think they ever mentioned that they knew who he was, but he always assumed they did.

If this wasn’t a revenge plot, then he was even more angry that these addicts had just stolen him simply because they were opportunistic, and found a stray omega so they took the chance.

“He has a bite! I thought you knew!”

”Of course I didn’t fucking know! You think I would’ve taken Parks bitch if I did? We’re fucking dead! They’re on us!”

Baekhyun knew they realized he was marked. It was too obvious because he smelled like Chanyeol so much.

He also knew it made his captors angry, because his mate, even after all this time, still was holding onto his claim. 

Chanyeol wasn’t releasing and revoking his claim on Baekhyun, but the fear always settled a bit deeper every time one of these alphas dug teeth into his skin in an attempt to force their marks to stick.

But Chanyeol hadn’t gotten rid of him thus far, and Baekhyun was scared that eventually his alpha would take his claim back.

The omega shivered as he pulled his bloodied towel around his nude and broken body, scooting as silently as he could to press his ear to the door.

Again, nothing but angry footsteps and panicked sounds, it made him want to laugh, but he was so confused as to what was happening, because it was usually time he was dragged out, it was usually time for him to get something to eat to keep his limbs from breaking.

Baekhyun's mouth pulled in confusion, wincing as he flattened his expression out as the cut on his mouth was only just healing and he couldn’t afford to pull it open again.

Not when his body had many worse injuries that needed to be focused on.

Just as he was going to lay back down in the bathtub, hoping to huddle together and get warm - he heard a bang, too loud of a noise and he briefly registered that the glass on the bathroom mirror shook along with the noise.

The front door being slammed open, he concluded.

And then he heard screaming, growling, and he shivered out of fear now even if he was growing used to the sound of alphas fighting - usually over who got him next.

But this didn't sound like the fighting he was used to, and he wasn’t in the middle of it, being tugged and thrown around like a doll.

So it wasn’t about him directly, it wasn’t about who was mating him next.

And for some reason that scared him more - because he had no idea what they were going to do with him when they went out of what he was used to.

The beatings were fine, the ridicule was fine, and he was well used to being raped - but he didn’t know these noises, he didn’t know what was happening and that wasn’t fine.

Maybe it was finally time for him to die, and he both welcomed and didn’t want it.

Because he just wanted to see Chanyeol once more even if the alpha was disgusted by him.

At least he knew his mate wouldn’t hit him.

He wouldn’t insult him.

Chanyeol would just… _show_ the fear on his face.

Baekhyun knew how bad he looked; he wasn’t pretty anymore, his skin wasn’t smooth and untouched except for the marks he welcomed Chanyeol to place lovingly on him.

No. No more than a few inches were pale, skin colored before the rest was coated in black and blue, and his hair was patchy, face swollen, his wrist was oddly angled but it had been an injury too old it didn’t even hurt anymore.

How he wished the only mark on him was the claim on his neck, but the mocking replicas of attempting to overdo Chanyeol were still fresh, refreshed everyday.

Even though Baekhyun didn’t want his alpha to get rid of him, he was terrified because he wasn’t what Chanyeol would remember.

He wasn’t all happy smiles and a pretty pink to his cheeks.

Baekhyun was a dead person, barely breathing, every breath he took sounded like it took four times the amount of energy to release.

But that was a lie too - it took ten times his energy to simply breathe, and even more than that to move more than a foot distance.

His mind had mostly blocked out the screaming from next door, or it was because he was wavering back and forth in and out of consciousness anyways.

Either way, when the bathroom door was rammed into and the wood was cracking open, Baekhyun barely got the whine out of his throat as he leaned his head against the dirty porcelain tub.

He knew asking for a break was worthless, it truly had no meaning - as all of his words did, but he felt too bad today.

He knew if they wanted to keep him as a pet then he needed to either rest or eat something - and neither of those were going to happen or they already would have and he knew it - but if they took him today he was going to die.

There was no other meaning to how shaky and stuttering his breathing was, or how even moving his arm to rest on his lap felt like he had run weeks. 

_Baekhyun was dying._

“Baekhyun- oh, oh my god.”

Baekhyun wanted to smile, sure this must be an illusion, because there was no way that their youngest alpha was standing in front of him.

“Help! Help!”

“Ho-holy, oh fuck.” Sehun whispered, not taking his eyes away from Baekhyun, but at the same time moving his hand to cover his nose and trying to avoid looking around at the conditions his older pack member was in.

“Sehun? Got him?”

“He's dying..”

Yifan frowned and wiped his gun on his jeans before pushing Sehun more into the room, “Wha-“

Baekhyun's eyes slipped shut, and it wasn’t reassuring at all, but even less so when he smiled and his teeth were bloody, bones sticking out and skin covered in red blood and nude body in various colored bruises.

 _“Alpha.”_ He whispered, sure it was a dream.

But if it were a dream then Chanyeol should be here too.

“Fuck, g-go tell Minseok to start the car - start it now!”

“Baek-Baekhyun were going t-to take you home,” Yifan added, kneeling down and stepping over glass on the ground, unable to keep the tears filling his eyes as he looked around the bathroom. “Hey, sweet pea, we’re going to get you home.”

The light was blinking out, almost dead and leaving the tiny bathroom in almost pitch black, but still the alpha could see everything, eyes looking around clinically.

It was just blood.

Blood, so much blood.

And it was so small, too small for even Baekhyun who was absolutely tiny.

The bathroom mirror was in shatters and chunks were missing, knowing Baekhyun, Yifan hoped that he tried to use them to stick up for himself, but he couldn’t be positive when the omega looked too weak to even blink properly.

It was filthy, so filthy he was sure that the way Baekhyun's breath was coming out was the result of an infection - and malnourishment, that much was obvious with the sick, pale, and sweaty sheen on his skin.

There was a rancid scent and he truthfully didn’t even want to know what it was as he stepped over a bunch of old food wrappers - they had been licked clean, and it was disturbing because Baekhyun used to eat like a bird, little bits at a time, and was known to get tired of snacks before switching off to something else - it was just so unlike him to be so ravenous.

Then again, nothing here really seemed like Baekhyun, _not even the omega himself._

“Hey, Baek… we’re going to take you home, okay? Tell me if this hurts when I pick you up.”

Yifan couldn't even bring himself to really look over Baekhyun anymore as he picked up his body, the omega didn’t even seem to be awake anymore because he didn’t respond to his request - not that Yifan had any other choice than to hold the omega tightly, and he was glad Baekhyun was asleep because he knew he must be pressing into bruises too hard, but he had no other choice because there was no way the omega was walking with legs so thin they could snap.

Truthfully, nobody was even sure if they should bring Baekhyun to Chanyeol like this.

Yifan thought they caught a big break when Jooheon, an allied pack member, sent them suspicious activity.

It seemed just reckless drug pedaling, but it wasn’t at all once they forced their way inside with smoking guns.

Baekhyun was the kidnapped slave to these drug addicted alphas, and now he wasn’t.

And they couldn’t ever let him be anything but Chanyeol's mate, because it looked fatal for either of them to be separated again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously im not explicitly writing Baekhyuns abuse when this is a recovery story, and I think you get the gist of how bad Chanyeol is doing💓
> 
> So here’s a time jump.


	17. Promise I’m not playing tricks on you, you’re always welcome to come in

Chanyeol hadn’t heard anything from his pack today.

It was odd considering that they usually came to make sure he ate meals, just stopped by to invade his home even if he yelled at them to leave him alone.

He didn’t want to be alone anyways, but he’d much rather get drunk by himself than have his pack members raid all the alcohol in his cabinets and force it down the drain.

As if that would stop him from going around the corner and buying more, buying three times as much as they dumped.

He usually drank more than half of it by the time they came back to take it away from him again anyway.

He had tried to call Yifan, he didn’t answer, and then he tried Luhan, Sehun, and Minseok, he even peeked out his window to see if maybe someone was outside, but the car wasn’t there, so he assumed they were out on a job.

Something Chanyeol wasn’t comfortable to do even if Yifan hadn’t taken his keys to his gun locker.

It looks like today would just be a day he tried to get drunk enough that Baekhyun stayed _forever._

~~~~~~

When Baekhyun blinked his eyes open it was in pain and with a light blinding him as it shined right into his face making him groan a dry whine, one that hurt his throat.

“Fuck. Sorry, sorry.” Yixing said quickly, reaching up to turn off the light in the middle of the car, “I was… just sewing you up. How… how do you-“

“Ah, fuck.” Yifan mumbled from the driver seat, “Traffic. At least you got some more time to look him over.”

“Baek.”

Baekhyun was really happy to see them, even if he didn’t show it or even bother opening his eyes, he didn’t have the strength to do anything other than whatever his pack was doing.

“Baekhyun, am I holding you too tight?” Kyungsoo tried again, using one hand to push the messy, disgustingly greasy locks from Baekhyun's forehead, eyes wide and frantic at the omegas' lack of response.

The Baekhyun they knew liked to talk, liked nothing more than to make everyone else happy, so it was hard to understand Baekhyun unless he was verbally explaining.

“You have to hold him tight,” Minseok argued, leaning over the passenger seat to look where they had pulled all the seats down to make sure Baekhyun could lay flat, but even with the good half hour Yixing had tried to fix Baekhyun up before the omega woke, he didn’t look any better. “Make sure he doesn’t move too much.”

As if he could move at all, Baekhyun wanted to say, and if his mouth wasn’t so dry he would tell them where he was hurting the most.

But he couldn’t, and he mostly settled on squinting even though it was dark now, still brighter than he was used to.

They looked different than Baekhyun remembered, thinner, older, but he didn’t want them to see him like this - didn’t want them to look at him so… disgusted, worried, concerned.

“Le-lets… does anyone have anything to eat?” Yixing worried as he laid his palm down on Baekhyun's sternum, all his bones could be felt - and probably seen once the bruises healed - but the omegas skin was damp with sweat despite him being freezing cold and only a bloody towel draped over his front for a bit of privacy.

Even the towel seemed to cover almost all of Baekhyun, he wasn’t nearly the healthily tanned omega they remembered.

“I… I have candy - here, I don’t- I-I..”

“Anything is fine.” Yixing said immediately, accepting the sucker from Junmyeon who looked more shaky than anything, “Just give him something. Lit-literally anything is better than this.” He stumbled, grabbing the side of Baekhyun's cheek and rubbing his jaw, “Huh, sweetheart? Anything is good?”

Baekhyun didn’t really need to give a response, only licking his cracked lips and opening his mouth a tiny bit, his stomach already cramped up just at the sugar touching his tongue, like it was preparing itself for food it desperately needed.

“Fuck. I-I just can't believe he's been here this whole goddamn time.” Yifan growled in the driver's seat, hitting his palm against the steering wheel aggressively, and his scent of anger caused Baekhyun's head to lull to the side and his thin hand to drop on his ear, panting at the little energy he used up with such a small action.

“You're scaring him, roll your window down.” Zitao ordered his mate, and Yifan didn’t need to be told twice.

“Thanks to Jooheon for hacking the cameras on the east side, we’ll have to explain our reasoning later, but I don’t.. don't think it matters as our alliance with Jihoon will be done when Chanyeol learns Baekhyun was found in their territory… l-like this.”

Baekhyun was dozing off, but Sehun's words appealed to him, well, not the words - just the name.

He nearly choked if Jongin hadn’t reached out to grab the stick of the sucker in his mouth, crying a noise so loud it hurt his own head - and throat - but he didn’t really care.

“Sh, sh. Baekhyun, quiet. You're going to hurt yourself.” Luhan demanded immediately, pushing Sehun out of his way to crawl down on the floorboard to touch Baekhyun's shoulder and sort of hold him down - sort of because it wasn’t a challenge at all - “We know, we’re taking you to Chanyeol, silly. Getting you to your mate, just calm down.”

Baekhyun wanted to smile at the admission, but settled on listening and letting his eyes roam around the top of the car.

Through the window in the roof he saw a bit of white building up on the glass and frowned.

He couldn’t remember when he was taken, but it definitely wasn’t snowing when he was.

~~~~~~~

Their home looked normal from the outside.

Baekhyun felt better just seeing it, his throat was still sore so he hadn’t said a word and had only rested the car ride and ate way more candy than his stomach wanted.

Usually, when snow started falling, they would have Christmas lights up by now or at least a few window decorations, it was funny because he remembered explaining to Chanyeol that even though he was a pack leader didn’t mean they couldn’t have holidays.

But, it seemed they didn’t feel very motivated while Baekhyun was gone, because he didn’t see a sign of any holiday decorations even though their block was brightly lit.

“I’m sorry.” Sehun cringed at Baekhyun's pained grunt as he was lifted up in a cradle, shivering from the snow falling on his mostly bare skin.

They had tried to dress him up with their own clothes, but after throwing a sweater on him, it was pointless when they realized he was cold from the inside, too malnourished to create his own body heat.

So clothing was pointless until he could hold his heat in.

Baekhyun's spine pressed almost like a knife into Sehun’s forearm, and the youngest alpha felt his lip shake, and wasn’t surprised at all when he saw Yifan run a worried hand over Baekhyun's calf down to his foot, the bottoms of his feet were all cut up, and he was all bone - Baekhyun didn’t even turn to look at Yifan at his touch almost like he didn’t feel it at all, but Sehun felt him tense up the smallest bit even if he only rolled his head onto his own shoulder.

“No.” Yixing called in a hushed whisper as everyone started towards Chanyeol's house. “No. It’s too much, just Sehun and Yifan.”

“Yi-“

“Just us.” Yifan agreed quickly, shaking his head at Jongdae. “We… I’m sure we can see them in a bit. Chanyeol… he's not going to hurt him.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about and you know it,” Jongdae argued, but otherwise only sighed and trudged through the frozen grass towards their house next door.

Baekhyun was curious about what they were talking about, but was much more interested in looking at their yard, their house.

He could see the lights on all over the house and thought it was funny because he knew Chanyeol's habit was usually to go everywhere in the dark - it was usually Baekhyun that had a habit of forgetting to turn lights off.

Just like the mail, Baekhyun was usually the one that brought it in while his alpha watched carefully from the window or doorway, waiting for Baekhyun to come running back inside and waiting for Chanyeol to look at him fondly even for such a simple task.

And the alpha always did.

Always complimented him.

Baekhyun really wanted to hear it again and threw his limp arm out, his sweater sleeve falling past his fingers so he opted to only shake his hand slightly to gain the alphas attention, interrupting them convincing the others to go home.

“What?” Yifan’s voice went from ordering to soft really fast, “Are you hurting? Fuck. He’s probably freezing and we’re fucking idiots with a naked fuck-“

Baekhyun whimpered again, and all his noises sounded slightly cut off with dryness.

“Oh.” Sehun mumbled over his head and took a few steps towards the mailbox, sending Yifan an equally as confused look as Baekhyun started trying to pull at the metal opening with his fingers covered in fabric.

It really was ridiculous just standing here with a rare, and nearly nude omega, already weak and battered, just standing on a nearly dark yard and letting him pull at the mailbox with his nose turning red and toes turning blue from the cold.

“Baek, just let me-“ Yifan tried because Baekhyun was so weak, he could barely even raise his arm long enough to try to give a good pull at the mailbox, let alone had the strength to open it.

But Baekhyun scrunched his nose and gave such an angry noise when Yifan reached out to try to help that it broke the scab on his lip, a drop of blood falling onto his chin but the omega didn’t even seem like he felt it while Yifan backed off wide eyed and guilty.

They obviously couldn’t just stand out here forever, and they could see their pack standing in the doorway next door probably wondering what the hell they were doing, so Sehun discreetly turned Baekhyun away for a small bit, turning to fake cough into his shoulder and shoot Yifan a look and a slight head nod.

Yifan quickly pulled the metal opening so it wasn’t so tightly shut - even though it wasn’t at all - and backed off.

To say Baekhyun was sad when he opened it was an understatement, because it was empty.

He immediately looked near tears, and neither Sehun nor Yifan knew why the hell mail was so important to him when just hours before he smelled like death.

But Yifan shook his head before the tears could fall and was frantically kicking snow off the grass around the mailbox and kneeling down to grab the newspaper in the plastic bag that they knew Chanyeol never cared to grab. “Here! Here, all better, it’s okay.”

The bag was soaking wet, freezing cold and giving it to Baekhyun who was probably even colder than the snow was a horrible idea, but nobody could stand the omegas tears even before he was so… vulnerable, it wasn’t even possible to do so when Baekhyun looked up at him with a black eye and his brow was split, a small trail of blood from his lip just drying on his chin. He was beaten raw, and there was no way his pack could see him crying over something so simple when he literally looked like he was hit by a car.

But what had happened to Baekhyun was worse than a car accident, so even then it felt unfair to belittle his injuries.

“Ready?” Sehun asked quietly, chewing his lip, and feeling horrible when it occurred to him that holding Baekhyun didn’t feel like holding much more than a child because he was so light. “It's time you see Chanyeol, Baek.”

Baekhyun only looked like he was half paying attention, dirty nails scratching at the wet newspaper bag almost in a petting motion, and that in itself was so concerning. But, he tried to give a smile, the usual boxiness of it obstructed by his swollen face and his teeth were still slightly bloody that Yifan only cringed and Sehun was just happy when Baekhyun looked away.

As soon as Yifan typed the code into the electronic door lock Baekhyun perked up and was glad his nose was no longer messed up so he could smell how strongly their home smelled of Chanyeol.

But it was different now.

The home was messy, boxes, and papers everywhere, it looked like every single electronic in the house was sitting on the coffee table and opened to different security camera footage.

_Chanyeol had been looking for him._

Baekhyun felt really good about that even if the air smelled slightly bitter, a mixing of anger and guilt, followed by the potent scent of alcohol the further upstairs Sehun walked.

The home was so unkept, and it was so different to how well Chanyeol usually cleaned up after himself - and Baekhyun.

It was just bottles everywhere, things Baekhyun didn’t have enough focus to read, and it didn’t smell terrible, but it definitely was covering up the scent of spices and dominance Chanyeol radiated.

“Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun hadn’t even realized when Sehun had carried him into Chanyeol's office, maybe he passed out for a moment because his head did feel awfully groggy.

“Chanyeol, man,” Yifan sighed and Baekhyun stared at his back until his eyes were caught on Chanyeol's back, the same broad back he remembered only he was hunched over his desk chair and facing the wall, dark brown hair grown out so long it touched the back of his neck. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t _touch_ me,” Chanyeol growled, and Baekhyun watched his mate try to swat at Yifan as the other took the alcohol from his hand, “Stop! I’m waiting for Baekhyun! Stop, give it- I _need_ it!”

“Chanyeol, we have Baekhyun,” Sehun shook his head, sighing into Baekhyun's hair and shifting the omega awkwardly in his arms as he watched Chanyeol's back too, the man still refusing to do much but stare at the wall.

“He comes when I’m alone, _get out!”_

Baekhyun tensed at the yell, moving his mouth to make a noise but couldn’t form anything.

“He-get out! G-get out! I need B-Baekhyun! Leave!”

Yifan grabbed the side of Chanyeol's desk chair and turned it around, not even flinching as Chanyeol snarled at him and reached for the bottle in his other hand. “There’s Baekhyun. He’s real this time.”

Chanyeol snarled louder before even looking where Yifan was pointing, angrily moving to shove things off his desk that loudly toppled to the floor because even if he was raging drunk he’d never hurt his pack members.

“Chanyeol.” Sehun added, looking slightly afraid as he knelt down to place Baekhyun on the floor, knowing that him holding the omega while he was in such a bad condition would probably not be the first thing Chanyeol wanted to see. “Here is Baekhyun. He’s all yours, Yeol.”

Sehun backed off a few feet towards the door as Chanyeol looked at him red eyed and pissed off.

But then the alpha flicked eyes down to the carpeted floor, taking a deep breath and leaning back against his chair before closing his eyes tighter, “Stop! Stop! W-Why, why he’s never- it’s not real.”

“He’s real, Chanyeol.”

“Why would he come to me like this!” Chanyeol was sobbing now, and leaning over to press his hands over his eyes, “They neve- I _never_ see him like this! Stop it! What’d you do! Why would _you_ show me this!”

Chanyeol started yanking at his hair and Baekhyun widened his eyes because he couldn’t move, and he couldn’t help, he could only hold himself in a ball and press his cheek tiredly into his knee and watch.

And even then, he was happy to see Chanyeol even if it was like this - deranged and feral.

“It’s Baekhyun!” Yifan yelled, grabbing Chanyeol's arm and pulling him to stand up, “That's your mate so take care of him! _Take care of him, Chanyeol!”_

Baekhyun felt both tired and excited as Chanyeol was forced closer, eyes bobbing open and closed because he was safe now, he didn’t even need to try to stay awake when all his senses were telling him that his mate was here to take care of him now.

“Sh-sh- why, why, why..” Chanyeol dropped to his knees a good few feet away and Yifan merely shook his head at Sehun and started towards the door.

There wasn’t much more he or Sehun could do anyways.

“Why… why, yo-you’re supposed to- to… why do you come to me looking _like this?”_

Baekhyun didn’t know what Chanyeol was talking about, but he smiled despite the iron taste in his mouth, moving his cheek over his knee in a scenting motion, _“A-Alpha.”_ He cooed as best he could in a strangled tone, trying to explain himself.

But Chanyeol just continued staring at him, face bright red and covered in tears and Baekhyun could now see the darkness around his eyes and cheeks, could barely smell Chanyeol over all the alcohol.

His mate looked almost mad, almost angry, hands curled into fists as he just stared at all the injuries on Baekhyun's face. “Why would you show me this? Don’t come to me like this- I-just… just do something nice, d.. go run around and play, _don’t show me this.”_

Baekhyun couldn't make too many expressions right now, but if he could he would be confused.

Instead, he reached between his thighs and stomach and shakily pulled out the newspaper, wrist straining as he reached out to place it on the floor, rolling onto his side slightly and he saw Chanyeol flinch back and watch Baekhyun's thin legs uncurl to try and catch himself.

But Chanyeol tore his eyes away quickly, like he didn’t want to acknowledge the clear torture in front of his face, he just grabbed the newspaper before frowning and Baekhyun was too tired to read his expression.

“It’s real?”

“I c-can touch it? It’s real?”

Baekhyun whimpered as his shoulder popped when he tried to sit back up, and red eyes were on him quickly, watching him shake just trying to stay sitting up without the support of holding his knees close.

And then Chanyeol's face was contorting painfully, sudden realization falling over his features as he caught the fruitiness off of the newspaper, “My baby? I-it’s real? You're real?”

The omega screeched, and it sounded both painful and pained, even though he only meant it as a confirmation, as a _‘hold me’_ sort of noise.

It worked though, and Chanyeol was reaching out to grab him before he face planted and sobbing into his skin, pressing his nose into Baekhyun's temple and the omega would never tell him how his grip was hurting him because of all his injuries, he’d happily be in more pain if Chanyeol was simply holding him again.

“S-Sh, my baby, m-my baby. Baby. Baekhyun, my pretty mate.” Chanyeol sobbed into his face, pressing his lips wetly to anywhere he could reach, and Baekhyun was too exhausted to do anything but whine and accept the attention with droopy eyes and mouth slightly open in a small smile.

Chanyeol kissed at him anywhere he could, even at his parted lips and when he pulled back they both had bloodied lips, but it wasn’t time for the alpha to acknowledge them yet, too caught up in trying to make sure this was Baekhyun that his mind wasn’t fully catching up with the state his mate was in.

But it would, eventually.

“You're not leaving my side, do you hear me?” Chanyeol cried, pressing kisses to his dirty hair with every word, “Stay with me, don’t y-you can’t leave me again. My omega, you're mine - don’t go, Baekhyun. Don’t go again.”

“A-Alpha,” Baekhyun whimpered, his hand shooting out only to motion towards the long forgotten newspaper on the ground, obviously teetering on consciousness as Chanyeol's arm around his back was the only thing keeping the omega sitting up.

Chanyeol sniffed before chuckling loudly, another wave of tears kissing his lips, “Ah, I know, my love. My mate, so beautiful. So sweet.”

“So sweet, darling.” Chanyeol croaked as Baekhyun closed his eyes when his head rolled back and his mate moved to hold the back of his neck even though it was obvious Baekhyun was out like a light, “Sh, my baby. My lovely boy.” He continued, other hand shaking as he brushed Baekhyun's hair back and kissed his forehead, rocking them together and petting Baekhyun's hair.

“I missed you so much, so much, Baekhyun. Sh, sh, got you. I got you, alpha has you.” Chanyeol whispered, hand running over Baekhyun's neck and kissing at his face, “Did you miss me? I love you, I love you. You don’t go anywhere alone, Baekhyun. Alpha missed you, m-missed- Baekhyun, Baekhyun, don't leave me, I’m sorry. _**I’m sorry.”**_


	18. It’s not the fear of letting go, but it’s the fear of losing love

Chanyeol didn’t know how long he sat there cradling his mate, whispering his affection into Baekhyun's skin. But he could only pretend for so long.

Could only pretend that the iron he tasted on his mouth wasn’t his mates blood.

That they weren’t bruises on Baekhyun's face, but simply… simply shadows cast from the odd angle of the lights in the corners of the rooms.

That Baekhyun's nose wasn’t swollen and his bones weren’t sticking out so much they felt like needles poking Chanyeol's skin.

No. This was just Baekhyun and he - he was beautiful and his curls were always messy, they always fell wildly.

It wasn’t because blood, oil, and dirt were matting them down at odd angles.

Chanyeol couldn't pretend any longer, but he was sure it had been a good few hours Baekhyun had been passed out - Chanyeol preferred to think he was asleep, laying at his chest because he always used to do that, never liked to be anywhere but curled up at the alphas chest.

“Clean you up, my love.” He cooed, and he knew Baekhyun had been long out - but he still spoke to him for hours, asked questions he knew wouldn’t be answered.

Because Chanyeol felt better just holding him, talking to him because at least this Baekhyun couldn't go anywhere.

Chanyeol was touching him and still Baekhyun was here, relying on his mate to take care of him.

“Get you to bed and rest up, darling.” He whispered, sniffing slightly and it wasn’t because of the blood covering Baekhyun, but just because he could smell the alcohol blending in with the fruity scent Baekhyun was struggling to give off - and he was momentarily disgusted that he caused his mates scent to be covered.

He laid Baekhyun at the end of their bed, it looked so unused, and wavered on his feet as he peeked at the connecting bathroom door, debating, because what if he looked away and even this Baekhyun was gone?

_They’d all leave him._

“You have to stay,” Chanyeol murmured, combing over Baekhyun's face, “Baby. Stay right here, don’t move.”

Baekhyun was in no condition to move at all, and the rational part of the alphas brain wanted to point out that it physically wasn’t possible for his mate to do much other than rest when he was so thin and so, so beaten up.

Chanyeol hadn’t even removed his sweater yet, but the damage was obvious.

They all knew what would happen should a lone omega be found in public, they all knew that even getting Baekhyun back alive was a feat in itself.

And Exo had dealt with a lot of these cases before, many times had people that owed them tried to sell their omegas to them, but it was different because this was Baekhyun.

Baekhyun who was sweet to literally everyone and innocent.

He used to not even understand why alphas tried to make him stray from public routes, used to be excited to try and help people that were very obviously trying to trick the little omega off the sidewalks.

Because that’s the world they lived in.

Because it was a hard world for what little omegas were left and Baekhyun used to not understand that before he met Chanyeol.

And the alpha had to teach him everything, tried to teach him self defense, tried to teach him when an alpha had bad intentions.

Chanyeol's mistake was falling in love with the omega, fully aware that Baekhyun was not cruel enough to help him rule a business.

Exo didn’t hurt omegas. They had many more omegas than most packs, and perhaps that is why they are the strongest pack, but the weakest at the same time.

Chanyeol just really wished, really, really wished he had left Baekhyun alone when he found him in that alleyway. He could have killed that alpha and left, walked Baekhyun home silently and then never looked back.

But he couldn’t.

Not when Baekhyun was so innocent and had been so kind to him even after witnessing Chanyeol attack the alpha. Not when he had eyes that enchanting and a smile so pure that Chanyeol felt sinful even looking at it too long.

Baekhyun had been his addiction from the first day, and Chanyeol was bad about listening to others' advice - even if his own pack had warned him many times not to bring the poor omega in.

Chanyeol was overconfident and that's why Baekhyun ended up like this. He was too confident his mate knew better than to go outside, and he was too confident that only walking next door to the pack house wouldn’t be a big deal.

He should have known so much better.

“Wish you would sing me a song right about now.” Chanyeol mumbled, laying his damp rag down on the bed and fumbling with the end of the sweater, “Hear that pretty little voice for real. It’s been so long.”

He sucked in a breath and pulled the sweater off Baekhyun's head carefully, moving his mate around gently to ensure he wasn’t jostling and creating more injuries.

Because Baekhyun already had too many, he was already colored in a way Chanyeol had only seen on the pretty paintings his mate made - not on a person's skin.

“B-been three months, twelve days, and- I-I think seven hours, I have a timer somewhere.” He ranted as a distraction as he took the warm towel to Baekhyun's skin, “I’m always walking you, Baekhyun. You don’t step outside that door alone ever again, baby.”

“Fuck.” Chanyeol sniffed and placed one hand beside Baekhyun's arm to hold himself up as he watched his own tears fall onto the purple on Baekhyun's collarbone, “Not you, not you, not you. Can’t be you, can’t happen to you. Baekhyun, you’re okay. You’re okay,” He sounded begging, and he pretty much was as he dropped the towel completely to run his hand over the protruding bones sticking out on his mates body.

Baekhyun used to be thin. Years ago, when they had only started dating, but he was never this thin. He never looked so sick even when Chanyeol could remember thinking Baekhyun was too small when they first had sex.

Could remember how shy Baekhyun was about having sex for the first time until Chanyeol promised that they would mate when he was ready, so they would be together forever, and Baekhyun had really wanted forever with Chanyeol.

And Chanyeol had really wanted forever with Baekhyun; that hadn’t changed.

The bite permanent above his right collarbone was proof that they were together forever, they had to be unless Chanyeol chose to give him up, and then it would fade away.

But he couldn’t ever do that. Would never want to let his omega go when Baekhyun was a dream.

An illusion that ran up and down the hallway until Chanyeol came out to give him attention or offer him to join him.

A fox that snuck out of bed just to sneak downstairs and eat all the ice cream just because he wanted Chanyeol to coddle him if he whined about a stomach ache.

The small little omega that years prior looked at him like he was a hero - not a criminal and not with fear in his eyes - and Chanyeol hadn’t ever seen anyone look at him like that before.

There was no way he’d let his claim leave.

Not even when all the bites healing over Baekhyun's body tried to force him to.

They were red, and they were scabbed over, never to leave a scar on Baekhyun because he wasn’t their omega to take. But Chanyeol didn’t want to see them at all, was growling and crying at the same time because he hated himself for making Baekhyun go through this.

He didn’t deserve to just sit here and cry about his own guilt when Baekhyun was the one in pain, when he was the one that had been stolen away and subjected to torture that Chanyeol didn’t even want to know about - but needed to.

So, he didn’t deserve to get the easy way out either and shoved the damp rag off the bed and instead pulled a pillow to rest under Baekhyun's head because he would be laying here a while.

Chanyeol cried silently and knelt down to start cleaning at Baekhyun's wounds, it would take a while for them to close, he knew that even with his saliva it would take a while.

But he was going to sit here all night until they were gone.

And he was, for hours.

He sealed the wounds for hours, going over them multiple times, and Baekhyun was so dirty, disgustingly dirty that Chanyeol had to take a break every once in awhile just to cry.

He didn’t want to wake Baekhyun up, but he had so much he needed to get done.

Baekhyun needed a bath, something to get the grime from his skin, and a rag wasn't cutting it, it couldn’t possibly get the dirt out of the omegas hair, or all the grime under his filed down fingernails.

Chanyeol didn’t even want to know why the omegas nails were like that, so short like he had scratched at something for a long time, but maybe eventually Baekhyun would tell him.

And he would have to force himself to listen, because it was his fault in the first place.

Chanyeol hadn’t eaten much since Baekhyun had… been gone, so he was pretty weak as he lifted his mate's nude body, shuddering because even like this, even weak and hungry Baekhyun was so easy to carry.

Because Baekhyun wasn’t hungry, he was starving, the malnourishment was obvious all over his features and in what little pale skin showed through his bruises.

That wasn’t okay at all, it wasn’t fine.

First, Chanyeol needed to give his mate a bath, which was the easy part as all Baekhyun really needed to do was lay down, and he was glad his mate was resting - even if he wasn’t sure if it was actual sleep or not - but he was pained because usually the omega would wake up at any little creek, any noises to see what Chanyeol was doing, or where he was going.

But Baekhyun didn’t even give more than struggling breaths even when Chanyeol was being louder than he meant to.

Secondly, Chanyeol listed as he carefully held Baekhyun's head and lowered his hair into the water, he needed to check his temperature, because he was freezing cold, but he was also sweating so much it was beading up on his skin, and his breathing didn’t sound like it was simply from exhaustion or something of the sort.

And finally, he needed to figure out what the hell he could feed him, and what he needed to do in order to get rid of his mate’s bruises faster, because he couldn’t stand to see Baekhyun in pain.

And this was too much Chanyeol didn’t even think he would be able to handle such a beating.

Baekhyun was strong even if he is little, maybe not physically, but mentally, and this really proved that to Chanyeol, because even the alpha was shaking as he simply washed the smaller, muffling apologies.

“Alphas going to buy you a b-brand new art kit, okay?” He shushed despite Baekhyun not moving a muscle, no sign that he was even alive if his breathing wasn’t so loud, “I know you really wanted that one set.. I-I can’t remember the name right now, but I’ll-i'll figure it out, okay? I’ll figure it out so don’t worry at all, baby. I-I should’ve gotten it for you a long, long time ago, right? As soon as you said you wanted it I should have snatched it up for you, baby.”

Chanyeol rubbed Baekhyun's split brow before sucking in a breath and trying to ignore the dirty colored water as he pulled the omega out, carefully resting his mate against his chest, Baekhyun's temple pressed into his collarbone as Chanyeol hurried for one of the robes hanging on the wall.

“My baby, I know. I know, you must be so tired. Don’t worry, alpha is taking care of you, sweet boy.” He cooed, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's wet temple and nuzzling to inhale a deep breath of his mates renewed fruity scent, hands patting Baekhyun's spine through the huge fluffy robe as he walked back into their room.

“Let’s see,” Chanyeol mumbled, quickly laying Baekhyun down on the blankets and pulling a small throw blanket over the omega as he walked to their dresser, “Something really big, huh? I know you, beautiful. You’ll be more comfortable. Alpha will find you something really, really comfortable and warm.”

He nearly tripped as he stumbled over a half empty wine bottle on the floor and cringed, kicking it away, because he didn’t want the stinging scent of alcohol anywhere near Baekhyun, even if it was coming off of himself.

“My baby can sleep all day if he wants,” He added, fingers gently drying off Baekhyun and grabbed the clothes he had chosen, “But I’ll have to wake you up when I find something you can eat, okay? So don’t be grumpy when I gave you such a nice warning, crazy.”

Just as he was going to find socks for his mate, Baekhyun whined, face scrunching together so harshly Chanyeol worried about the swelling to his face throbbing and causing his mate more pain.

“Sh, just me. It’s just me and we’re getting you ready for bed.” Chanyeol swooned quickly, and he was glad this time Baekhyun was actually awake - even though the omega didn’t seem like he understood anything that was being told to him, only whimpering dryly with his eyes shut and face pulled together.

“Sh. Sh. Hey, hey, baby.” He carefully took a seat on the side of the bed to grab Baekhyun's hand from where the omega was blindly tugging at his clothes, yanking aggressively, “I love you, Baekhyun. Love you so much, you know that? My baby, I love you.” He cupped Baekhyun's cheek to hold his head to his thigh and leaned down to press a kiss to his nose, trying to smooth out the irritated expression on his mates face.

Chanyeol kissed at his face a few more times, careful of his injuries when Baekhyun slipped out dryly, nothing more than a sleep talking babble, “A.. Alpha?”

“Yes, I’m right here. Sh, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll protect you all night so just get some rest, just get some sleep, darling.” He sniffed, rocking Baekhyun's head softly and pressing his forehead to his mates hair, “It's just us, it’s just me and nobody is going to hurt you again. Okay? I-I promise you, I promise you, nobody is laying a hand on you, okay? Just sleep… jus- just rest and I’ll set up all your favorite things tomorrow, I swear.”


	19. Cause without the darkness there's no light and without the pain there'd be no life

Baekhyun couldn't remember the last time he woke up in so much pain.

It was odd because after the first few beatings or so he had just felt numb to all of his injuries.

He smacked his lips and was surprised to find they didn’t taste iron like anymore, but like some kind of vegetable, like salt.

It had been so long since he tasted anything but blood or old bread.

Even longer since he was wearing clothes, covered in a huge hoodie and sweatpants, both of which seemed to be Chanyeol's because as Baekhyun ran his hand down his stomach to feel them he felt how tight the draw string was pulled.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure this had been real, but all of these things pointed that it was, and as he sat up his damp hair hit his ears and he was relieved when he went to scratch at his scalp and it didn’t feel disgusting anymore, but clean and the strands softly curling up.

Almost like they had never been so dirty in the first place when Baekhyun knew it must have taken his mate forever to scrub him so clean.

Speaking of Chanyeol, Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to go find him, he ran his tongue across his lip and wasn’t surprised it was almost repaired because he also didn’t feel the tight pulling on his skin from the scabs beneath his clothes either.

He was curious and once he found some balance - much more than he had the last time he remembered standing - he turned to the body mirror on the closet door and gawked at himself.

He was unrecognizable.

Baekhyun grabbed them hem of the hoodie and pulled it up to his chest, his skin still black and blue, purple and yellow, different stages of healing, but his stomach was caving in and the sweatpants - even though tied as tight as Chanyeol physically could have made them go - hung loosely around his protruding hip bones.

No wonder Chanyeol wasn’t beside him when he woke up, he wouldn’t want to sleep beside himself either.

But, even if his mate was disgusted with him, Baekhyun wanted to see him.

So, he stumbled shakily out their bedroom door and felt his entire body calm down a bit when he heard Chanyeol talking.

Probably to himself, because Baekhyun always liked that adorable habit, but possibly on the phone with Yifan.

He was sure they had a lot to talk about.

Either way, that was his mate and he had the right to interrupt him; just wanted Chanyeol to hold him, feed him, tell him that he was sweet, because the alpha only ever had nice things to say to him, even when they argued.

Baekhyun was honestly having a hard time. His legs didn’t want to walk, his spine sore from standing upright so long, and his knees locked up everytime he took a step down the stairs, having to take an equally painful breath in because his heart raced at the effort he was using.

But the omega was determined, and after everything he had gone through this felt like a breeze.

“Baby.”

But it all felt worth it even if he had to hold the wall and take a handful of breaths.

“Fuck, Baek. What are you doing, baby? I was just getting you more food, lay down. Lay down, my love.”

Baekhyun panted into Chanyeol's shoulder when the alpha was picking him up, nuzzling into his collar with a bunch of deep breaths, mostly because he just wanted to smell his mate.

“Please just sit still, little one. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Chanyeol worried louder, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's temple as he knelt down to try and set the omega on the couch.

Baekhyun wasn’t having that at all though, he grunted in displeasure, pressing his nose into Chanyeol's jaw and squealed a sharp noise as his thin limbs tightened around his mate.

Chanyeol, red eyed from lack of sleep - and now red eyed in anger at how scared Baekhyun was - clicked his tongue before opting to just take a seat himself, leaving the omega to find comfort in his skin because it was obvious he didn’t want to be separated. “Sh, my love. Alpha was just getting you more food, aren't you thirsty? I woke you up and fed you soup a while ago, darling. You don’t remember?”

That explained the saltiness on his tongue, Baekhyun realized, but his throat still felt itched raw, and he wanted nothing more than to have Chanyeol fix it like the alpha had done to his open wounds.

But Chanyeol couldn't, Baekhyun knew that.

Instead, he shook his head, sitting back on Chanyeol's knees to press their noses together, he tried to give a small purr to at least give Chanyeol some sort of reaction, but it lasted only a second before the sound was off and Baekhyun opted to stop.

He wasn’t sure why his throat hurt this bad, but figured it was likely rubbed raw due to his own screaming.

Because he might not have fought back after a while, but he still begged.

“That’s okay, alpha will just have to feed you again, and again, and again.” Chanyeol whispered, running his hand over Baekhyun's arm and curling his hand entirely over the thinness of his mates wrist, bringing it to his mouth to press a kiss to his palm. “I love you, beautiful. Love you.”

Baekhyun wanted to say it back, but substituted by pressing his nose back into Chanyeol's cheek, rubbing his pale skin to the alphas.

And Chanyeol just laughed watery, moving his opposite hand to the back of Baekhyun's head to cup his curls and pull him closer, “I know, omega. Love you too, sweet boy. My sweet mate.”

Surprising the alpha, Baekhyun hissed, nails moving to curl into Chanyeol's shoulder and he was in tears, just silent tears falling down his hollow cheeks.

“What? Baby, sh, hey. What? I said something? What’s I say?” The alpha worried because Baekhyun's entire body had gone limp and he was just digging his nails into Chanyeol's skin like he was going to scratch him - but was holding back. “Baekhyun, my love. I-I don’t know, I don’t know, I won’t say it again.”

Baekhyun whimpered and brought his hand to his ear, scratching around the area before his nails were dragging down his neck, landing on his claim.

The skin he had dragged against was red, and Chanyeol would have stopped him sooner, but Baekhyun was obviously trying to tell him something, so he allowed his harmful movement.

And when Baekhyun scratched at the pretty scar Chanyeol grabbed his hand and it wasn’t hard to figure out what set him off, but the alpha had to keep the anger swallowed because it would scare his mate.

“Won’t call you that again, sweetheart.” Chanyeol promised, but his eyes were glossy because Baekhyun always liked to be called omega by him. Omega mate, my pretty omega, anything of the form.

But not anymore.

“Hm? You’re just my sweet boy.” Chanyeol murmured, holding Baekhyun's hands in his and pressing his lips to his mate's black eye carefully, without too much pressure, “My sweet baby who alpha loves very much. Very, very much.”

Baekhyun sniffled, and Chanyeol always hated it, had killed people for even making the omega tear up, but Baekhyun pulled his lips into a smile, nodding and licking at a tear falling at the corner of his lip.

“There’s my baby,” Chanyeol cooed, pulling Baekhyun to rest under his chin and cringing as he looked around and noticed how horrible the house looked.

It suddenly looked way worse than he remembered it to be.

“H-hi.”

And Chanyeol was the one sniffing and pressing kisses to Baekhyun's cheek, nosing at his skin. “Hi, baby. Hi, good morning. Good morning, darling.” He sighed into Baekhyun's jaw, “Is it a good morning, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun cleared his throat and the sound was so dry Chanyeol cupped the side of his neck, blind on his own tears, and busied himself making sure Baekhyun's skin was well loved, “Yes.”

~~~~~~

Baekhyun was really full.

So full that he felt like he was going to burst if Chanyeol fed him anymore soup or crackers.

But he wasn’t going to tell his mate that, afraid he’d take away the food from him, and that thought was a lot scarier than throwing up.

He had already felt pretty bad for causing a huge scene when Chanyeol tried to feed him bread, just plain bread, fresh and it wasn’t his alphas fault - but Baekhyun had gotten so angry at his mates choice in food, because he was so tired of bread; tired of bread, candy bars, and half drunk water bottles, maybe some sort of soda if he was lucky.

He hated all of them now - even if before he was a giddy omega for chocolate.

It wasn’t Chanyeol’s fault, because he didn’t know, and Baekhyun felt bad immediately for throwing the plate of bread and crackers on the floor once his panic began to settle.

He tried to explain, tried to muffle out an explanation, but his throat was still raw and it was hard to make full sentences at the moment - plus, Chanyeol didn’t look like he needed an explanation at all.

The alpha only looked beyond pained and crouched down to clean up the huge mess of crumbs Baekhyun created without a word, walking into the kitchen and digging in the cabinets for something else.

Baekhyun would apologize when he felt a bit better, he decided, because Chanyeol didn’t deserve for him to be so mean to him at all.

But, for now, he was trying to focus on not throwing up, laid out on his back on the couch and soothing his palm over his stomach through his hoodie.

And still, he was reaching for another cracker on the coffee table that was pushed in front of him, a fully unopened water bottle stuffed against his ribs and pressed into the couch cushion, snatched the moment Chanyeol brought it to him - and he supposed he should feel bad about that too, but Baekhyun couldn't help it. He couldn’t help panicking a little because he needed that water.

“Good? That’s your third plate, beautiful.” Chanyeol laughed, kneeling down beside the couch to set the television remote beside Baekhyun's head, “You should slow down a little.”

Baekhyun wanted to growl at the suggestion, but he only shook his head slightly and watched Chanyeol sigh, taking a seat on the ground and running his fingers over the omegas jaw.

“Do you feel… okay?”

Baekhyun nodded, turning his cheek to nose at Chanyeol's hand and licking the salt off his lips before outstretching his hand for more over his alphas shoulder.

Chanyeol just watched him.

That’s all the alpha had really been doing when he wasn’t caring for him, he just sat across the room and watched - which was something Baekhyun really liked because Chanyeol always did like to watch him paint, watch him laugh about things, anything he did the alpha watched.

But not like this. Not with a furrowed brow focused expression, or a pained, concerned frown. Anything Baekhyun did he was looking at him instantly, and Baekhyun literally couldn’t do anything but lay here and eat, stomach already rock solid from how full he was.

And Chanyeol never talked quite this much. His alpha was a talker, definitely, but Baekhyun was usually the one bursting with energy and starting topics.

Baekhyun couldn't talk right now though, not enough for steady conversations, but his mate was non stop talking and asking questions fully knowing Baekhyun couldn't respond very well at all. It just wasn’t very Chanyeol like at all.

“You know I missed you so much? Missed you so much, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol murmured, sitting on his knees to lean over and dig his nose below Baekhyun's ear, leaving his palm resting over his mate's fast racing heart.

“.. Y.. you too.”

Instead of placing a huge smile on his face Chanyeol pulled away with a frown, resting his cheek beside Baekhyun's and eyeing the bruises around this side of his face, “Baby… I’m not.. we’re not going to force you to do anything, but you have a fever.. and.. I-I really need you to see Yixing, darling.”

Baekhyun shook his head quickly, wincing at the pull on the bruises on his neck, then releasing a small cry at the pain in his face from his own expressions.

“No, no. It’s okay, it’s okay, baby. Just lay down.” Chanyeol murmured quickly, laying a gentle hand on Baekhyun's shoulder to keep him down, “It was just a suggestion- it’s okay, you don’t have to, sh. Baby it’s okay.”

“I just meant… to check your fever, Baek. He suspects an infection of some sort, and we need to get it looked at.”

Baekhyun relaxed slightly, but Chanyeol could feel how much his mate had been freaked out, and there was no reason for him to be afraid to see anyone else, but he obviously was.

It had only been one day, Chanyeol needed to give him more time.

But, at the same time, his health was something the alpha wasn’t willing to just ignore.

Baekhyun tugged on his sleeve lightly. Chanyeol immediately acknowledged him, but it was difficult to understand what was being told to him.

His mate only made sure he was looking and picked the edge of his shirt up until the tiniest bit of his skin was on show before quickly throwing it down and shaking his head no frantically.

Chanyeol had no idea what he was supposed to understand.

He couldn’t tell if Baekhyun read the confusion in his expression or not, but the omega stopped and gave a big sigh before coughing and reaching for the water bottle in the cushion.

The alpha watched for a moment, but immediately was reaching over to help Baekhyun pull it out when his mate coughed harder, and gave a wheeze like noise. “I’m not taking it, baby. Hold on, just a second,” He soothed when Baekhyun went wide eyed as Chanyeol took the bottle and cracked it open, “See, it’s okay.”

Baekhyun started gulping down the water so fast Chanyeol was worried he was going to puke, but he couldn’t really tell Baekhyun no, he never really could.

“If you don’t want to go to see Yixing,” Chanyeol murmured gently, “Then you need to tell me where you feel sick, at least let me know so I - or one of the pack can bring us some medicine.”

Chanyeol wasn’t allowed to have medicine, he internally rolled his eyes, or else he already would have found something to give Baekhyun for all the pain he knew the omega must feel from those bruises.

When Baekhyun was done with his water he pulled it away from his mouth with a loud pant, like he had just almost drowned, and Chanyeol was grabbing what little was left to close and make sure Baekhyun saw him place it carefully on the coffee table within his reach, “So, where’s it hurt, baby? I need to know what medicine to tell them to get. I need to tell Yixing where you’re hurting.”

The omega closed his eyes for a second, and Chanyeol would leave him alone if he was going to go back to sleep because Baekhyun needed to rest a lot, but his mate cracked his eyes open again to point at his left ear, then laying his palm over it.

“Your ear hurts? My poor baby.”

Baekhyun pouted his lips with a tiny nod before doing the same thing he had done on his other ear.

Chanyeol cringed and sighed, a double ear infection must be horrible, and Baekhyun was always so grumpy when he got sick, but he was sure his mate wasn’t going to mention a thing at all; only was because Chanyeol asked.

Baekhyun then went to place his hand on his own temple and Chanyeol was immediately concerned when his mate yanked at a handful of curls all the while looking at him, and it made the alpha feel like this was some sort of punishment.

Like he was getting punished.

“No. Hey, don’t hurt yourself. I get it, baby. Sh. I get it.” Chanyeol cried, working his hand to unclasp Baekhyun's from his hair and bringing his hand to his mouth, “You have a headache, I get it. Don’t you ever hurt yourself. Okay? Just go back to bed, just take a nap and I’ll call someone to get you medicine, okay?”

_“S..stay!”_

“I’m not going anywhere.” Chanyeol answered immediately, laying his hand over Baekhyun's head to rub his thumb over the center of his mate's forehead to help relieve some sinus pressure, “I’m never leaving you alone. Never leaving you alone ever again, Baekhyun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y’all need fluff again... go to the drabbles lmao, because this one is gonna be a rollercoaster.


	20. The only way I know that I'm alive is cause it hurts

Baekhyun was pretty sick.

His mate had a double ear infection, a fever resulting from it, and the glands on the sides of his neck were all sort of painful and swollen.

Chanyeol felt like absolute shit when Yixing had offered a number of reasons Baekhyun could have gotten sick, and no one was better than the last.

A cold or flu that turned into an infection, probably because of overexposure to elements, dirty conditions, or just the blatant observation that Baekhyun was too thin and weak to have fought off even common germs.

In conclusion, Chanyeol found he didn’t want to know anything at all, but had to.

Baekhyun could talk now, not that he did very often, but when he did it was usually something Chanyeol either really wanted to hear, or something he very much did not want to hear.

Needless to say, Chanyeol was paranoid and barely left Baekhyun alone the past five days.

But, his mate didn’t say a thing, or even claim it was annoying, Baekhyun just didn’t say very much at all, and that was equally as concerning as if he had yelled at Chanyeol.

In the meantime Chanyeol was just passing the days by taking care of Baekhyun, making sure he was taking the antibiotics that Yixing dropped off outside the door days before, and making sure he wasn’t overeating - because he caught the smaller throwing up the first day and then turning around and trying to run down the stairs to get more food.

Chanyeol was only just now realizing things about Baekhyun weren’t quite right, but he was… he was learning, and he still loved his mate, it was just very different and difficult.

Just like how hard it was to try to stay away from the bottles of alcohol he had reluctantly put back, when Baekhyun slept he was always tempted, when Baekhyun was busy he always wanted to go get a drink, but it wasn’t fair - and he couldn’t let himself get drunk when he had a mate to take care of.

Because it was hard on him, but it was a million times harder on Baekhyun, and Chanyeol knew that, always knew that his mate was going through hell.

But now the evidence was in front of his face and he didn’t know if he was doing a good job or not.

Baekhyun had an issue with food, so Chanyeol let him hide water bottles and snacks wherever the omega wanted, pretending not to know they were there.

Baekhyun slept like a log, literally. It was so concerning because Chanyeol could literally drag the omega down the stairs - of course he would never actually do so - and he was positive Baekhyun wouldn't move an inch.

And when Baekhyun was waking up usually it was in a furious panic, or even trying to throw himself off their bed, running away to hide - as he did more times than Chanyeol felt comfortable to list.

Chanyeol didn’t know that he was doing the right things at all, and had nothing to provide Baekhyun with other than a million praises, a million warm hugs, and more love than Baekhyun ever asked for.

He just didn’t know that Baekhyun could ever be the same; even on good days he was never a hundred percent relaxed, never.

“Are you okay to just watch tv a while, my love?” Chanyeol questioned, leaning over the back of the couch and immediately laying the back of his hand on Baekhyun's forehead.

“Alpha needs to go take a shower, baby.” He added, running his thumb over the bridge of Baekhyun's nose gently, and was a bit happier that his swelling was going down, it wasn’t as inflamed, but it didn’t make up for the colors that didn’t belong on Baekhyun still taking forever to leave his mate.

“No.” Baekhyun whispered instantly, sitting up so fast Chanyeol laid a hand between his shoulder blades to hold him sitting upright, “No, alpha. No, no.”

“I’ll leave the bathroom door open,” Chanyeol soothed, eyes watering slightly but he didn’t think Baekhyun noticed at all, “You can come too, you know? Can come sit and wait for me to be done, I’ll be very fast.”

“I-I…” Baekhyun pulled at the collar of his own sweater and Chanyeol tsked as he carefully pulled his aggressive hands away before he could scratch at his bruises.

It would be much easier if he just invited Baekhyun to bathe with him, as they sometimes did when Baekhyun was really upset, but… Chanyeol truthfully hadn’t even been changing in the same room as Baekhyun because he didn’t want his mate to take his nakedness the wrong way.

Because the truth was too obvious for Chanyeol to ask about, and Baekhyun hadn’t shown many signs of.. that specific abuse, but he knew already. Because all alphas tended to need omegas for only two reasons - to take their anger out on or to rape.

One of those was blatantly obvious, and the second was mostly shown in the naked state Yifan said he was found in.

Chanyeol already knew though, and he was scared when Baekhyun was going to start showing signs, because he also didn’t think the physical violence had signs until two days after Baekhyun was already home and he flinched like he was thrown into a wall when he heard Yixing drop off the medicine outside the door.

He would rather be cautious than spur on his mates' panic, because he would never force Baekhyun to please him, and didn't feel the need.

Chanyeol nodded slightly, “I know. It’s okay,” He replied, “That's okay. But will you be okay if I left for ten minutes, really quickly, baby. And is your hot pack still warm?” He fussed.

“Yes,” the omegas murmured, lifting the hot pack from his chest to place on the side of Chanyeol's hand as proof.

His mate was still really cute, and Chanyeol really loved when it shined through, even if Baekhyun didn’t look or sound the best right now.

“Good, darling. When it starts to cool down you let me know and I’ll warm it up again,” The alpha requested, gently urging Baekhyun's hand back down and patting the hot pack that laid on his mates sternum, “You keep it here a bit longer to clear up your cute little nose,” He tapped the bridge of his nose carefully, “And then you place it on your neck for a while okay?”

“Like this?” Baekhyun asked, and Chanyeol was pretty sure his mate was only stalling as he demonstrated moving the pack - as if they hadn’t been doing this routine all day. That, or he was looking for praise.

“Just like that, my smart mate,” Chanyeol smiled, and he really wanted to stay, but he needed a break for a little.

Not from Baekhyun, but from himself, and in order to do that he wanted to turn the shower on full blast and have a good cry, because he knew Baekhyun couldn't sneak up on him and be scared at his angry scent.

Baekhyun couldn't smell him on the floor above and crying into the cracked rim of the tub.

His mate asked about it the day before when Chanyeol was giving him a bath, and the alpha truthfully never recalled breaking the rim, but there was no denying that it was cracked in a pattern that could only be replicated by his own hand.

He just told Baekhyun he didn’t know.

“I’ll be right back?”

Baekhyun nodded, but he still looked sheepish and scared, and Chanyeol gulped, but he really needed to go let off some steam before he did something insane like go on a binge again, so he only smiled and cupped Baekhyun's cheek to press a kiss to his hair, “I’m leaving the door open, and I’ll use the bathroom just up the stairs, you can sit right by them and wait if you want. I can bring your books up?”

“I’m…” His mate muttered, laying his head back down on his elevated pillow, “.. watching tv.”

“Yeah?” Chanyeol glanced at the tv and suddenly really needed to leave, “The planets, huh? You’ll have to tell alpha a new fact when I get out.”

“ ‘kay.”

Chanyeol studied Baekhyun's profile once more and bit his lip, turning to walk - more of a fast jog - up the stairs.

Baekhyun wasn’t very happy being alone, but he also wasn’t very happy in general today.

Because he felt so sick, and felt so anxious, and he had eaten the last of their fruit even though Chanyeol assured him he could eat them later when his stomach wasn’t so full.

But, he didn’t listen and when Chanyeol went to switch the laundry a few hours prior he had shoved his mouth full.

He suspected Chanyeol knew because his mate wiped the corner of his mouth when he came back in, but he didn’t tell Baekhyun anything, so it was okay.

That must mean it is okay to eat more, Baekhyun concluded even though his stomach protested the thought, and he didn’t have enough back up antibiotics if he threw them up again.

Baekhyun didn’t really care though, even as he stood up dizzily and had to grab the arm of the couch as he steadied himself.

It felt like his stomach was churning and he knew he made a mistake, but he needed to at least bring something to the table, what if he got hungry and Chanyeol couldn't give him anymore?

Or worse, what if he got hungry and there was none left? Nothing to eat and he’d be forced to eat bread crumbs and anything he could find on the floor.

That wasn’t nice at all - Baekhyun knew it wasn’t a nice feeling.

He also knew that the sound of the door unlocking was not a nice feeling, it only caused his panic to set in and his rationality to fly out of the window.

He knew it was Jongin, he registered that it was Jongin standing by the door with a big smile and a red gift box in his hand, “Baekhyun!“

Baekhyun shook, wrapping his hands in the edge of his sweater, heart rate picking up as he watched Jongin take a step closer.

Panicked, he backed closer to the stairs, watched Jongin frown at his move.

“Baek, here, we… we just wanted to give you this..” Jongin explained, cautiously walking closer.

Baekhyun screamed, shrieked as he went to dash up the stairs but slipped on the stairs, falling on his back and the stairs digging into his spine as he started crying, screaming all the while.

“I didn’t - Baek… Baekhyun, Baek..”

“Baekhyun!” The omega heard Chanyeol boom and sniffed, choking on his fear as he was lifted up, a rush of water soaking his pajamas as his mate held him with one arm around his ribs, practically dangling him on his naked front.

“Ch.. Chanyeol… I-I…” Jongin stuttered, shaking the box slightly out in front of him, and the alpha was too edged from Baekhyun's fear that he only glanced at him before shushing and pressing his wet head on Baekhyun's temple.

“Baby. Hey, you’re okay, you’re okay. Shh, it’s just Jongin-“ Chanyeol glanced at the door with a gulp when he heard it slam shut, where Jongin stood only a wrapped present.

He didn’t have time to feel bad when Baekhyun was shaking and crying, fever burning into Chanyeol's bare skin as Baekhyun struggled to turn around and claw around the alphas neck in his effort to coil around him.

“Shh, my baby. I got you, I got you.”

In hindsight, running down the stairs fully naked, soaking wet, to snatch up his mate who only recently was rescued from a traumatic place wasn’t a good idea.

Because as soon as Baekhyun noticed he was nude the omega started squirming and sobbing harder, but didn’t try to leave at all.

And Chanyeol didn’t think he was ever so pained than at Baekhyun's reaction to his body, simply because he was nude. The implications were too blinding to not see.

“Sh, no, no. No, baby. Love you,” He cooed, taking a seat right where he was on the stairs and pulling Baekhyun tighter despite that the omega being sick, and him getting wet wasn’t a good idea even if it was still slightly warm, “Sh. Close your eyes, it’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you. Just close your eyes and it’s just me, and we’re just… we’re just sitting here and you’re telling me a r-really sweet story, right? Sh. My baby.”

Baekhyun did close his eyes, shut them right tightly and Chanyeol moved his hands into the fabric of the omegas own sweater because he seemed to like holding onto his clothes these days, and if Baekhyun couldn't feel his skin then maybe the omega would forget Chanyeol wasn’t wearing clothes.

“My love, alpha will tell you something really nice if you stop crying. It hurts me, Baekhyun. It hurts me when you cry,” He commented, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's hair a handful of times and sniffing his own tears away to soothe his mates sobbing, “Baekhyunnie, Baek, baby. Just calm down, it’s just us, darling.”

“It’s just us,” Chanyeol cried, kissing his mates hair and moving to cradle his head between both arms as if he was sheltering Baekhyun.

But he wasn’t.

Baekhyun's pain wasn’t visible, and Chanyeol couldn't shelter him from things he couldn’t see.


	21. Take my heart now, go ahead and break my heart down

“Yeah? And then what, baby?” Chanyeol asked, smiling to himself as he dug through their wardrobe for pajamas for Baekhyun.

“And… and then Ceres was first considered a planet, then it was demoted to an asteroid, and then it was classified as a dwarf planet.” Baekhyun read, huge book resting on his collarbones and nose practically pressing to it.

Chanyeol ‘oh’ed and hummed to let Baekhyun know he was paying attention as he walked back into their room with his mates new outfit in hand, laying his hand on Baekhyun's foot and shaking it teasingly, “Okay, smart boy, time for bed.”

Baekhyun moved his book onto the side of the bed immediately, revealing the light flush on his cheeks and his towel dried curls, moving his hands to rest over his towel wrapped body, “Do you really like them Chanyeol?”

The alpha raised a brow as his question, moving to stand at the foot of the bed and gently unwrapping Baekhyun's towel, “What makes you think I don’t like learning about the solar system?”

“You… not just because I like it?”

“No, I don’t like it just because you like it, I like that it makes you happy, yes, but if I didn’t like it too then why would I bother asking, hm? My sweet baby, of course I like it too.” _If I didn’t like it then why would I have kept the necklace that got you taken?_ He could have added, but didn’t, because the necklace didn’t seem a good thing to ever bring up. It was forever going to stay hidden in the vault in his study.

Baekhyun nodded, a slight bounce to his hair and it made Chanyeol feel a bit relieved that his mate was slowly getting healthier, even if it had been a good two weeks and his bruises were mostly a gross yellow, brown, or green. Healing, but much longer than they should be.

At least he was no longer sick, that's what Chanyeol focused on the most, because he was worried for a while when Baekhyun would sit there and scratch at his ears because they hurt so much, or yank at them until they turned bright red. Almost like a child.

A lot of things Baekhyun did these days were like a child, but his mate very much wasn’t a child.

Baekhyun in general always tended to be childish and childlike, and it was something Chanyeol always thought endearing because he loved to take care of his omega, and loved to coddle him. But, it was especially bad now, and flipped on and off like a switch unlike the nice blend of awareness and innocence Baekhyun was before.

Now, he was either very childlike, or not at all, and Chanyeol would rather have him be both or just childish because the uninnocent version of him mostly consisted of yelling and crying at things Chanyeol had no idea of - and didn’t want to know.

“No clothes today.” Baekhyun requested, and Chanyeol was not letting that slide.

Sure, he didn’t have a fever anymore, but he was so thin it was too big a risk for Baekhyun to get cold, and Chanyeol really didn’t want to see him sick again.

Plus, honestly, Chanyeol did not like to see Baekhyun naked longer than needed - not because he didn’t like the sight - but because he very much hated to see the bruises and thinness of his body, the implications and torture his mind wandered to when his mate was nude, and it was too much pressure on the alphas chest.

He couldn’t afford to make Baekhyun afraid by his angry scent, and felt his mate had probably smelt enough angry alphas for a lifetime.

“You know the drill, my love,” He soothed gently, rubbing over Baekhyun's chest because he knew the omega liked it, knew Baekhyun had grown used to the touch from Chanyeol trying to help break up his mates chest pressure by massaging him. “You’re too little and alpha will dress you up really warm so you can go play first thing in the morning, so I won’t have to worry about your toes freezing.”

It was a lie, Chanyeol worried about everything all the time anyways, but Baekhyun didn’t need to know that.

Baekhyun nodded, but Chanyeol wasn’t sure he was really paying attention anyways, so he instead started sliding his mates boxers on him.

Chanyeol used to dress Baekhyun, before this he sometimes dressed him, usually when his mate was having a really bad, emotional day, or just when the alpha wanted to love on him more than usual, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence as it had become now.

Baekhyun refused to dress himself.

Chanyeol recalled that the first few days he brushed it off as his mate being too weak, but even when he asked if the omega wanted to dress himself Baekhyun had responded that there was, “No point.”

There was a huge point; to give Baekhyun that boundary where his skin never touched anything he didn’t want it to, but he couldn’t exactly explain that to his mate. Not when Baekhyun shouldn't have to be reminded about his abuse anyways.

Even if it was obvious Baekhyun was constantly reminded and thinking about various traumatic things, often digging at his nails or at anything in his hands when he watched tv, whispering only partial words, even repeating sometimes like he had no idea he had already said the same thing in rapid response.

Everyday was hard, because Chanyeol just didn’t know what type of Baekhyun he would be getting when they woke up.

But he loved Baekhyun all the same.

“Okay, okay.” Chanyeol murmured to himself, laying his palm on Baekhyun's bare stomach for a second as his eyes searched for the shirt he was positive he brought over, “Baby, do you see that red hoodie-“

Baekhyun yelped, and Chanyeol only had time to hiss at the omegas nails sinking into the back of his hand.

Truthfully, it didn’t hurt that bad, but it was the shock and sudden aggression that had Chanyeol yanking his scratched hand away and shaking it in disbelief.

The omega rolled onto his front immediately, crawling so far away that he was practically hiding underneath all of their pillows, pressed into the solid black headboard and whimpering.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol whispered, quickly eyeing the pink lines created by his own mates sharp nails, one of them looked slightly red, a bit of blood beading to the surface.

But Baekhyun sobbed louder, so he really didn’t care at all.

“Baby..” He drawled, wiping his hand on his own sweatpants before climbing onto the end of the bed sitting criss cross in order to make himself appear smaller, “It was an accident, I’m not mad, Baekhyun.”

“I scared you, so I deserved that, beautiful. It’s okay, alpha isn’t mad at you at all,” Chanyeol whispered, ducking his head down to peek between the pillows and immediately regretting his choice when he captured Baekhyun's small form curled up under them, pressing his cheek to the sheet and his red, tear filled face whimpering into a pillow. “Sweetheart, Baek, I..” He sighed and placed his forehead on his palm.

Chanyeol had no idea what to do.

Obviously, his mate needed more help than he could offer, but there was nowhere he could go. There was no such place an omega could go to in order to recover, because what was wrong with Baekhyun was not seen as trauma, he was simply an omega.

An omega that others would probably say Chanyeol wasn’t “showing him his place enough” as a reason for Baekhyun's obvious trauma.

Perhaps even doctors would tell Chanyeol that his mate was going through a phase in which he needed a child, because that was a common excuse for anything an omega did - that they were emotionally distressed from not giving an alpha a child - as if Baekhyun could carry, or even needed such a thing when he couldn’t even care for himself.

Like it was his job to give an alpha a child, and that was it - that was all an omega should be motivated about in this world. That it didn’t matter if Baekhyun was traumatized, that an alpha had the right to do this to him.

Such bullshit, because Chanyeol never asked for this to happen to his mate, not in a million years, and Baekhyun sure as hell never asked to be this way.

The world was fucked, and Chanyeol was lost.

The sad part was that Baekhyun wasn’t lost with him, but lost on his own. Alone.

Chanyeol heard shuffling, and didn’t even know when it was that he was watching his own tears fall onto his sweatpants, he tried to sniff them up, but knew he must have looked like a huge baby just sitting here crying when his mate was scared.

“... alpha.. crying?”

Chanyeol’s shoulders shook as he shook his head no, despite how obvious it was, “No… of course not, of course not, baby. I’m not crying.”

A small hand placed itself on Chanyeol's hair and he hadn’t even noticed the blankets were pushed up from when Baekhyun crawled over, “I… cry too, it’s okay.”

He wanted to laugh, but it came out more of a shudder as he felt Baekhyun rub up on his shoulder, meant to calm him down even though it should be him doing so to the omega.

“Alpha… no crying.” Baekhyun requested, and Chanyeol was wiping his nose quickly because his mate requested he not cry.

“Okay. I won’t cry, I’ll go clean up in the bath-“

“Don’t go!”

The way Baekhyun screeched had Chanyeol immediately reaching out for his bare waist, and the omega was forcing his way into his lap quickly, as if just ten minutes ago he hadn’t been terrified of Chanyeol.

“Don’t cry, but stay,” The omega requested, nosing at Chanyeol's temple.

The alpha licked his lip and nodded slightly, jaw tightening as he lifted his head and eyed the tears and redness of his mate's face, pulling Baekhyun closer with a palm resting over the omegas bare spine, “Okay, Baekhyun. Whatever you want, darling.”

“Alpha,” The way Baekhyun sighed his name and pressed a smile on his lips let Chanyeol know he had mostly forgotten or otherwise was pretending his breakdown didn’t happen, and truthfully Chanyeol wanted to pretend Baekhyun hadn’t gotten scared by his touch either, so this once he would let it go.

“Alpha, alpha!” Baekhyun nuzzled into his cheek and it felt like things were okay, even for a little while.

“Hi, baby. Hi. I know, I love you too.” Chanyeol laughed, cupping behind Baekhyun's ear and smiling when his mate immediately pressed a kiss to his lips.

It was rare Chanyeol ever initiated a kiss these days, he was afraid to, but that didn’t mean Baekhyun couldn't on his own accord. Just a small peck because his omega was sweet and innocent most of the time.

“Love Chanyeol,” Baekhyun cooed sweetly, eyes becoming half lidded and still puffy from tears as he pressed their noses together, “Alpha loves me, I love Chanyeol.”

“That’s right,” The alpha smiled, turning his head in order to press a few wet kisses to Baekhyun's hollow cheek, “My baby. I love you, you’re my mate and I love you.”

Baekhyun hummed an accepting noise and nodded like he already knew so - and he did, he knew more than he let on - “I’m sorry, alpha.”

“No, it’s okay,” Chanyeol disagreed immediately, running his thumb over the shell of Baekhyun's ear, “It’s fine, my love. Accidents happen and it’s okay. I should have told you I was going to touch you and not have caught you off guard. It was alphas fault.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond, so Chanyeol pulled back from his cheek worriedly, scratching softly at his mates scalp, “Baby?”

“Alphas fault..” The omega whispered, looking at Chanyeol for a second before laying his hand on a bruise on his own chest.

“That… that was an alphas doing, yes.” Chanyeol whispered, expression falling when he realized their loving session was over.

Baekhyun scrunched up his face like he was mad, and Chanyeol let him get off his lap to do whatever it was he was trying to, even as his mate flopped awkwardly onto his back on the bed, legs still resting on the alphas hips and he was suddenly so scared Baekhyun was about to do something absolutely horrifying.

“And this..” Baekhyun whispered, scratching at his inner elbow, replicating, as he pretended to scratch and then plugged one nostril. “Bad.”

Chanyeol didn’t exactly know what Baekhyun was saying, but after speaking to the pack he was positive the environment Baekhyun was in had been full of all sort of crime and neglect, so for him it was pretty easy to figure it out when he recalled how Sehun said it was, “Literally a fucked off drug den, Chanyeol… like… it- it was hardly food or water, hardly anything but wrappers and needles.”

“Yes. That’s very bad,” Chanyeol said instantly, running his scratched up hand over Baekhyun's knee, “... did… you, they ever.. drug…”

He didn’t think so because his mate didn’t have any signs of withdrawal, or any track marks, much less any sort of paranoia when taking his antibiotic pills.

Baekhyun propped himself up on his elbows and Chanyeol wished he wouldn’t just because it made his bones protrude more, “Too… expensive,” He mumbled, “They… alpha said wanted to, because I scream too loud, hurt their ears, so annoying.”

Chanyeol didn’t know what to say or do, because Baekhyun didn’t want him to cry, but he wanted to even if it made him look incredibly submissive and weak.

Because for Baekhyun he was both, and this was a serious topic that he felt he couldn’t help with at all.

So he simply nodded and turned to reach off the side of the bed where the familiar red hoodie he had been looking for was sitting mockingly on the floor.

“Let’s get dressed,” He cooed, patting Baekhyun's ankle.

He shouldn’t feel as relieved as he did when Baekhyun put his arms up with no fit at all, immediately letting Chanyeol place it over his head.

“You’re not annoying,” Chanyeol felt the need to say as he folded the sleeves down so Baekhyun could actually use his hands, “And that’s not your fault, you did very well. I’m sure you… you screamed a lot, and that’s good, they deserve a lot worse than that.”

“Scratch,” Baekhyun mumbled and Chanyeol thought he was referring to the scratch he gave him and was ready to play it off as if it didn’t hurt - and it didn’t physically - but his mate only scratched at the air and then held his nails up in front of Chanyeol's face, “Really bad, broke nails. And.. broke the mirror, scratch till red.”

He wasn’t sure if Baekhyun was implying he stabbed someone, and even if he was all it did was make Chanyeol really proud, really, really proud he fought back and possibly saved himself a bit of harm when Chanyeol couldn't protect him.

“Not your fault, I scratched to see you again, alpha.”

Chanyeol internally promised not to cry again, but he was a liar and was immediately pulling Baekhyun under his chin and blindly bringing all the blankets around his mates' hips. “You did so good. So good, baby. All to see me again? I’m re-really happy, you did so well.” He pressed a handful of kisses to Baekhyun's cheek and shivered when he heard the quiet giggling squeal into his shoulder.

If Baekhyun hadn’t fought back then who was to know whether his mate would have lived long enough to come home?

He wouldn’t have. Chanyeol was positive based on what he had heard from the pack, and what state he was given Baekhyun in, his mate wouldn’t have even survived another week.

So, despite despising the guilt choking circumstances, he was extremely proud of Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol!”

“Yeah?”

“It’s bedtime! Kisses and then bed!” His mate squealed, happy to accept any coddling.

Chanyeol snickered, but continued placing a bunch of kisses that, at this point, were nothing more than him pressing his smile into Baekhyun's curls. “Of course! How could I forget! It’s so late for you! I’ll give you lots of love so you can dream nice things!”

“Nice thing about alpha, only nice things about my mate!” Baekhyun chirped.

Chanyeol felt so relieved.


	22. Cause my mind is a prison and I’m never gonna get out

Baekhyun woke up with a loud gasp, so loud that he whimpered to himself and turned to roll off the bed.

Immediately he was digging hands into his hair and shaking with tears.

He looked at the bed and Chanyeol was still asleep, hand resting near where Baekhyun once laid but not touching. Never touching.

It used to not be like this either, bedtime used to be a peaceful excuse to cuddle together and bond, but now it was Baekhyun's least favorite thing even if he physically needed to sleep a lot.

Because in nightmares things were too real, and when his eyes were open his fears would be called memories, meaning they happened in the past, but not anymore - but nightmares felt like they happened now, currently.

As if Baekhyun was right back where his terrors began instead of beside his mate.

His mate that would never hurt him.

Baekhyun sucked in a watery breath and leaned over the bed intending to wake Chanyeol up, laying his hand on the alphas head, because he needed help, he needed his mates help to calm down because his heart was racing so hard he was afraid it would jump out of his chest.

But, unfortunately his mate was an alpha.

And it didn’t occur to Baekhyun that Chanyeol never hurt him, just the scent of an alpha had the omega pulling his hand back with a hiss, pulling his fingers to his chest like he had been burned and then spinning on his heels to run down the hall.

He swore he heard a confused noise behind him, probably woke Chanyeol up, but was too focused on a place to hide when he yanked open the hall closet and was shoving himself in.

Baekhyun's head hit the top shelf as it obviously wasn’t a space meant to house a person, so he dropped into a ball, whining when he was scratched by something in the dark and grabbing the door with both hands to hold it shut.

It hardly mattered though, because alphas were stronger, so if they wanted in they were getting in.

Baekhyun knew that.

But he still tried, a lot, even if the alphas were more angry having to struggle for him to listen.

He heard the sound of someone walking outside the door and bubbled up another sob, throwing one hand over his mouth and shifting to pull his knees into his chest instead of under him.

His foot hit something and it rattled loudly making him whimper when he heard the footsteps stand outside the door.

“Baby, you can't keep doing this, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun merely held the door tighter.

“I thought we agreed that you would wake me up, and we can talk. You never have to hide in your own home, my darling.”

He whimpered louder when the alpha rested against the wall beside the door, the sound of him pressing against it so close to Baekhyun made the omega shake.

“It’s really dangerous in there, Baekhyun. Very, very dangerous with all the chemicals in there. Do you remember? I told you last time and you were so shocked, baby. Remember?”

Baekhyun didn’t remember, but the reason for that was more likely due to how fast his heart was racing and his pupils flicking around blindly in the dark at any movement he heard outside the door.

“Are you tired? If you fall asleep in there again, I’ll take you back to bed, sweet baby, and then we can talk in the morning. Promise.”

Baekhyun only cried to himself harder, and he knew the alpha must have heard because the sigh he got in response was really loud.

“Baekhyun,” He cooed, “Baekhyun, baby. Alpha is here for you, you can come out.”

“I’m opening the door, okay? It’s just me, and I’m opening it.”

The omega squeaked slightly and pushed himself against the back wall, bringing his hands near his face as the closet door creaked open.

It was slightly brighter than Baekhyun remembered it being when he ran down here, but he mostly could only see the outline of the alphas face and went wide eyed as he hurried to bury his face in his knees.

“Hey,” Chanyeol soothed tiredly, “Did you have a nightmare? You should have woken me up, my darling. Just wake me up, sweet boy, and we can talk whenever you want.”

Baekhyun gave a ragged breath, almost a noise of agreement, but his heart was pounding in his ears.

“Come, my mate. My precious mate, lets see you, hm?”

He nodded between his knees and shuffled a little out of the closet to sit with his hands between his thighs and rocking forward, placing his chin on his knees and knowing that this was his mate, it was Chanyeol and he shouldn’t feel so afraid of him.

But he was, even if he knew Chanyeol had never done anything to hurt him and that the alpha looked more upset than anything as he looked at him.

“Hello, gorgeous.” The alpha swooned, reaching out to brush his thumb on the tear tracks on Baekhyun's cheeks, “Do you want to talk, darling? Or should we get some more sleep?”

Baekhyun really didn’t want to sleep, very much did not want to go back to bed to re-live nightmares over and over again. He’d much rather try to stay up until his body forced him to sleep, passing out, because then he didn’t dream or see things at all.

But he really wanted Chanyeol to take care of him, wanted his mate to protect him from even his own nightmares, but in order to do so his mate needed to know.

And Baekhyun didn’t know what to say to tell him.

Because it caused him too much pain, and would make Chanyeol disgusted with him, disappointed in him.

“Ouch,” Baekhyun cried, wringing his fingers together so harshly they were turning red, “Alpha, ouch.”

Immediately, Chanyeol was searching for injury on the omega, assuming he was hurt, or maybe got scratched up by something in the closet, maybe even rug burn, because Baekhyun was overly sensitive to pain these days.

But there was nothing he could visibly see other than his mate shaking and crying with a red face and trembling lips.

“Okay. Okay, come here, baby.” Chanyeol cooed, patting his lap.

Baekhyun released a quiet sob as he climbed into Chanyeol's lap, but it was more relieved than anything as he started yanking at his own pajama shirt distractedly.

“Are you hungry?” The alpha wondered, concluding it was something to do with Baekhyun's stomach only because he was wringing his hands there, “Hungry? Did you scratch yourself? What’s wrong?”

Baekhyun slumped over onto his chest, scenting at Chanyeol's collarbone, and it was sweet, but it wasn’t answering anything.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol purred, kissing around his hair for his sweetness, “Where does it hurt? If you’re in pain we need to get you some medicine; you can take some more painkillers.”

“Hurts,” The omega agreed, muffling his tired voice in Chanyeol's neck before hissing like he was in a bunch of pain, “Chanyeol. H-Hurts, hurts.”

There was nothing off about him though, he didn’t smell like blood, and he didn’t even smell like he was in pain, but if Baekhyun said he was hurting obviously something was wrong and Chanyeol needed to fix it for his mate right this instant because the omega did not deserve any pain at all.

He ran his palm down Baekhyun's back, and as he laid a hand on his mate's tailbone the omega yelped in his ear and Chanyeol was going to kill anyone that walked by their home unless it was their pack members.

“Ow, ow, ow. No more, no more, ow.”

“Sh. No more, darling.” Chanyeol agreed, pressing his lips into Baekhyun's forehead, “Nobody will touch you again. You’re just mine, just mine, and even I won’t touch you, my mate. Right? You always wanted to be mine? And I always wanted to be yours, and that’s how it is, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun still didn’t smell like he was in pain, but he was sitting on Chanyeol's thigh uncomfortably like he was in pain, angling his hips out to ease pressure and let the warmth of Chanyeol's hand calm this pain he so frantically claimed to have.

The alpha didn’t know very much about pain unless it was physical, but Baekhyun must know about many more types of pain than Chanyeol even knew existed.

“Alpha! Alpha, alpha!”

“Shh, I know.” Chanyeol murmured, massaging at Baekhyun's lower back even as the omega whimpered and occasionally twitched. “I know. Baby, it’s okay, I love you and you’re going to be okay.”

Baekhyun acted like he really was in physical pain, so much so that Chanyeol briefly considered that perhaps he did need to get Yixing over here despite the obvious fact that Baekhyun wasn’t ready to see people.

But, he would never force Baekhyun to see anyone, even if Yixing was an omega and in theory he shouldn’t have any problems seeing him.

If Baekhyun said no, it meant no.

“Does it hurt so bad? Do I need to check, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol worried, genuinely concerned as he cupped the back of Baekhyun's hair with one hand and the other dipped under his mate's shirt to run circles over his spine. “Can check, baby, do you need alpha to check?”

He wouldn’t even know what to look for, and Chanyeol was more scared of what would happen if he did find something, because what Baekhyun was implying - lifting his hips off his lap, not putting pressure on his lower body - it was disgusting, even if Chanyeol already knew.

Baekhyun had recently been showing symptoms of sexual assault, rape, or otherwise some sort of sexual driven attack.

Chanyeol already knew, and it sounded horrible of him, but it’s one of the reasons he wished Baekhyun had died.

Of course now he was just happy to hold him, to see him again.

But he knew the effects it could have, he knew that some omegas didn’t even show much signs of trauma from such attacks at all, because they were mentally prepared for years that they would be owned by an alpha.

But Baekhyun was never that way, he was never afraid of things like that, even if Chanyeol had scolded him time and time again that he needed to be.

His mate hadn’t been prepared, because he had never considered that it would ever happen to him in his lifetime with Chanyeol.

And, again, that was Chanyeol's fault.

Maybe Baekhyun's condition was punishment for all of Chanyeol's sins, because it certainly felt like it to the alpha.

“Ow,” Baekhyun whispered, but it wasn’t a yelp or an actual cry of pain now, more of just a word, letting go of Chanyeol's shirt and the alpha frowned at him as he sat back a little on his knee, concerned if Baekhyun really was injured.

But he was only trying to explain something to Chanyeol as he fiddled with the alphas shirt before he was suddenly pushing the edge up and dipping fingertips into the alphas waistband.

Chanyeol snapped out of it instantly, grabbing Baekhyun's fingers and shaking his head, “No. Stop, I-stop, don’t do that.”

Baekhyun really didn’t like that and screeched in anger, before Chanyeol knew it the omega was flailing his arms and hitting at his chest with the alphas hands loosely around his wrists, not even bothering to restrain him. “Ow! Listen, listen! Still!”

Chanyeol just sat there, letting Baekhyun hit him; if that’s what his mate wanted to do then fine, because he deserved it.

Deserved whatever anger Baekhyun showed him.

Even if it was his mate getting so mad he wasn’t allowing him to touch him, because Chanyeol didn’t want to know what Baekhyun thought he wanted from him, and he didn’t want to know what he mate was subjected too - if Baekhyun was replicating, because that’s all he really seemed to do when he was upset.

“Stay still! Still! No moving!”

Chanyeol really just wanted Baekhyun to stop talking too, but only cried and released the omegas arms because his hold was useless when he wasn’t even bothering to restrain him anyways.

And the way Baekhyun growled was sure to give the alpha nightmares, because his mate just sat on his knee hitting at his hands when Chanyeol blocked his pajama pants from the omega touching, rocking slightly and clicking his tongue in anger.

Pure anger, and Chanyeol only saw him getting angrier the more he rejected his advances.

Eventually, Baekhyun just burst into sobs again, and Chanyeol was quick to pull him in as he hoped his mate was done trying to do… whatever it was Chanyeol was afraid he had been trying to show him.

“Love you,” Chanyeol whispered even as Baekhyun huffed in anger, because the omega had never stopped crying the entire time, so it was obvious his actions weren’t of his own choice, but what he thought he needed to do. “Always love you, Baekhyun. I’ll always love you, okay? Just like this, we just need to stay like this and you’ll be okay.”

He was mostly convincing himself, but Baekhyun turned to press his face to cry in his neck so Chanyeol knew he agreed.

“Alpha,” Chanyeol hummed and continued sniffing into Baekhyun's hair, combing down the wild curls that were misplaced in his mate's rage, “Touch?”

“No.” He whispered quickly, kissing Baekhyun's head, “No, we aren’t touching. We… we don’t need to, right? Alpha always just loved you, and we don’t need to touch to show we love each other. Remember? Alpha went a very long time without touching and he can do it forever and ever, Baekhyun. We don’t need to, we never need to if you're scared.”

“But… touch…”

Chanyeol moved to snatch Baekhyun's fingers that trailed on his thigh and shook his head more firmly, nose pressing into his mate's temple as he nuzzled into Baekhyun's cheekbone, “No touching. You don’t have to, do you hear me? You never have to. Never. N-never again, okay? Your body is yours and you can keep to yourself, and alpha will keep to himself too.”

“Does that sound better?” Chanyeol murmured, humming and kissing Baekhyun's cheek a few times before sitting back to look at his mate's chocolate eyes lined in red.

Baekhyun's watery eyed smile was really painful, but Chanyeol was growing overly fond of it since he felt it was all he really saw these days, and it was still a sign of happiness, even if it was disturbing.

“Kisses?”

“We can give kisses,” Chanyeol approved, brushing Baekhyun's hair from his forehead and leaning over to kiss the omegas nose, “Just nice touches, okay? Not painful ones.”

Baekhyun frowned in confusion and leaned forward again for more kisses, “But not painful.” He mumbled, bringing his and Chanyeol's intertwined hand down to the alphas hip, “Not painful.”

“If it’s painful for you, it’s painful for me.” The alpha sighed, pecking at his cheek, “If you feel the need to do stuff like that, but you don’t want to, we’re calling that painful, okay? It’s painful.”

The omega nodded with a confused frown, and Chanyeol wondered when the day was he would get whiplash from how fast Baekhyun was forgetting everything that ever happened to start purring and sweetly rubbing his cheek on Chanyeol's for attention.

As if it wasn’t four in the morning, they weren’t sitting in the middle of the hallway crying, and as if Baekhyun had never just tried to please him by seducing him - or just trying to replicate something, Chanyeol wasn’t sure and didn’t want to know.

But, any sweetness Baekhyun wanted to give was extremely welcome, despite recent circumstances, so Chanyeol laughed genuinely, wiping the tears off his own cheeks and leaning back against the wall, “You want to scent alpha, go ahead, darling. My sweet baby.”

Baekhyun was always a sucker for praise and was giggling as he rubbed their noses together, and Chanyeol always was ready to give him affection, so he laughed too, as if everything was okay.

And barely anything was truly okay right now.

But, as Baekhyun began laughing mischievously and pressing his gentle hands around Chanyeol's neck, laughing to himself like he had the funniest joke and had yet to share, Chanyeol was willing to pretend everything was okay anyways.

“Something funny, darling?”

“Just love alpha so much!”


	23. When the light began to leak into the cave I cried because I knew I had been saved

Baekhyun was having a very good day, a very, very good day.

It was the first one in a while.

Sure, he had days where things weren’t that bad, days where he didn’t wake up a sobbing, scared omega, but days he just woke up normal, lips smacking and stretching arms over his head.

Those weren’t necessarily good days though, they were simply days that had a mix of crying when Chanyeol took away his eighth bag of chips, and the smiling when the alpha promised they could watch a movie together and that he would rub Baekhyun's sore stomach.

But today was a self proclaimed good day, because when Baekhyun got up it was with a full night of rest, a bright smile, and a bowl of oatmeal sitting on his side table.

It was a good day even if Chanyeol had been in the shower and not beside him when he woke up.

And the day only seemed to get brighter when he quickly ate up his food and curled up in bed to watch television because he didn’t want to leave his warm blankets.

Even when his mate came to kiss his hair hours before and whispered that he’d be right in the study with the door open Baekhyun didn’t feel panicked enough to make the alpha take him with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was much too busy making a huge mess of their bedroom and running back and forth to and from the kitchen to bring his snacks in.

And everytime he jumped past the doorway of Chanyeol's study he popped in with a beaming smile and a loud, “Hi, alpha!” before running off in giggles.

He was pretty sure Chanyeol's bright grin every time meant he was having a very good day too, and Baekhyun very much liked when his alpha had good days because he felt he had seen his mate frowning way too often lately - and that wasn’t nice at all.

On this very good day Baekhyun even felt super nice and sat on the window to wave outside, and he was concerned Luhan might have passed out, but wasn’t positive.

The only thing that nearly ruined his day was when he waved at Sehun it seemed him and Jongdae got in a bit of an argument because the beta pulled the alpha back inside and Baekhyun was a little upset because he wanted to wave some more at the youngest.

But he didn’t let it ruin his mood, not at all.

Instead he turned the television up and stood at the end of their bed to eat his crackers and slowly him standing in order to peek out the window turned into him bouncing before full on jumping and when he waved frantically at Kyungsoo he was positive the other omega looked at him like he was insane.

(Probably wondering if they needed to call Chanyeol and check on them when he pulled Minseok out to point him out.)

Baekhyun just thought it was a really funny expression and continued bouncing as his crumbs flew across the room and the television explained a bunch of facts about the solar system that Baekhyun was proud to already know.

“What are you doing?”

“Alpha!” Baekhyun cried without looking, only nearly dropping his package of crackers in order to wave crazily, “Can see Kyungsoo - outside window!”

He heard Chanyeol snort, “You’re going to get tired any second now, beautiful. Why are you jumping on the bed?”

Baekhyun merely laughed over the television and jumped more on the corner of the bed, spinning in a circle, and what little muscles in his legs that were finally coming back ached, but he wanted to continue because it was really fun.

And then arms snatched around his waist and Baekhyun squealed happily when Chanyeol nuzzled into the back of his neck and felt more than heard the alpha laugh into the nape of his neck.

He giggled louder before feeling the press of a kiss onto his ear and then suddenly the world was upside down and Baekhyun laughed harder as his crackers fell onto the floor and he pulled at Chanyeol's shirt as he wiggled and laughed.

He watched the stairs pass as Chanyeol also continued laughing and carried him down them before all at once the omega found himself righted in his mates arms.

“You little demon! Made such a big mess for me to clean up!” Chanyeol cried.

Baekhyun squealed with laughter, wrapping his legs around Chanyeol's hips with a wide eyed ‘don’t put me down!’ expression, pressing his giggles into his mates chest as the alpha moved to take a seat.

“Are you going to help me clean up, crazy?”

One of Baekhyun's all time favorite looks the alpha ever gave him was a handsome, half lidded expression, and when he looked up and saw it Baekhyun immediately felt a million times happier, pressing his own kisses to Chanyeol’s cheek.

“No!” He exclaimed, wiggling slightly to get comfortable on Chanyeol's thighs before cupping the alphas jaw with both hands, “Alpha job!”

“Alphas job?” Chanyeol mused, turning to playfully nibble on Baekhyun's small wrist.

The omega released a whine in his various noises of excitement, leaning his own face closer and wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders with a puffed cheek, excited smile even as he bumped his healing temple bruise on the alphas cheek.

“Alpha job to clean up after me! My mate does it always.”

“You’re right. Of course you’re right, my Baekhyunnie is always right.” His alpha cooed immediately, soothing out the back of Baekhyun's shirt.

Baekhyun giggled and scrunched up his nose as he gave a bright smile and pressed a loud, wet kiss to Chanyeol's cheek, “Always give kisses for hard work.”

His alpha chuckled, his smile akin to a beam as Baekhyun continued his sweet kisses.

“Mhm. Thank you, sweetheart. Always such a good little mate, my love. Will you tell me good job, too? After I clean up the mess my baby created? How messy, darling!”

Chanyeol tapped his nose playfully and Baekhyun went weak with his giggling, laughing harder when the alpha threw a hand to rest around his displayed neck.

“Sorry, alpha!” He squealed, pouting his bottom lip and if possible he would be wagging at his alpha eyeing his mouth.

Chanyeol reached out to press his thumb into Baekhyun's lip and the omega immediately started kissing at his finger.

“It's okay. My mate does whatever he wants. You do whatever you want, beautiful, and I’ll always come clean it up for you. Always did, remember?”

Baekhyun beamed, playfully nuzzling into Chanyeol's fingers and purring happy noises, blind to his mate's watery eye smile as he hid his face in the alphas palm.

He suddenly really wanted to go make more messes because he knew Chanyeol was right and that his alpha always cleaned up his messes.

Honestly, Baekhyun would never admit so, but the truth was sometimes he purposely splattered paint around, and purposely left his messes around because he always saw the hidden smile Chanyeol tried to hide when he went to pick them up, teasing all the while picking up, and Baekhyun really liked the attention he got when he ran to help his alpha clean up.

He knew it wasn’t very nice of him to leave messes, but Baekhyun wanted them to clean up together, and knew Chanyeol liked to clean especially when he was really stressed out.

So, although rude, Baekhyun was pretty sure his mate really didn’t mind.

If he did then Chanyeol would have cleaned up and scrubbed the paint fingerprints from his study - because that’s where most of them lied - or he would have replaced the many fixtures Baekhyun had broken on accident.

Baekhyun giggled to himself at the thought and threw his head into the crook of Chanyeol's neck to sweetly nuzzle and scent the alpha.“Give alpha lots of kisses, and say sorry, and it’s okay.”

He felt more than heard the alphas shaky inhale and didn’t know if he should smile or pout at it.

Instead he focused on kissing wetly at Chanyeol's face, humming his own tune into the alphas skin because this was his alpha, and his mate only.

“It’s okay, baby.”

“Anything you do is okay, as long as you just sit with me, Baekhyun. Just stay with me and everything is fine, darling.”

Baekhyun huffed slightly and moved to kiss at Chanyeol's ear, feeling slightly sad at the alphas' words, wiggling in order to press as close as he could before going limp into Chanyeol's body, lips pressed beneath his mate's ear. “Don’t want to go.”

Chanyeol didn’t respond right away, so Baekhyun simply busied himself getting comfortable under the alphas chin, listening to the alpha gulp, and closing his eyes as the alpha tightened around his waist.

Today was a nice day, Baekhyun decided, humming under his breath and moving fingers to curl around Chanyeol’s shirt.

“Sing to me?”

Baekhyun very much liked to sing, really liked how happy it made his alpha, and he felt Chanyeol wasn’t having a good day like him, and that wasn’t fair at all.

It wasn’t fair if he had a really good day and Chanyeol didn’t.

So, he smiled and kissed under Chanyeol's jaw only to rest comfortably with closed eyes and a content sigh.

Chanyeol really liked to hear him sing, and Baekhyun really liked when his mate was happy.

So he made up something on the spot, because it didn’t matter if the lyrics made sense, because he knew Chanyeol would like it anyway.

And hopefully the alpha would have a very good day too.

~~~~~~

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun chirped, popping into the bathroom to wrap his limbs all around the alphas back, forehead pressing into Chanyeol's spine.

The alpha snorted, continuing to shave his face in the mirror and watching Baekhyun's reflection leeching onto him, “My little monkey today, baby? You love alpha extra today? Thought you were sleeping, my crazy boy.”

He watched Baekhyun nodded frantically, but the omega only continued swaying while his arms latched onto Chanyeol's shirt.

Chanyeol laughed, turning on the water and rinsing his face, turning it into a confused look when Baekhyun bounced over to start going through drawers.

He raised a brow at the omega, turning to dry his face on a towel. “What are you looking for, beautiful?”

“Don’t close that!”

Baekhyun practically ran over, wide eyed and pink faced to grab the bathroom door Chanyeol hadn’t realized he bumped with his foot.

It had been a good day, so Chanyeol was immediately worried Baekhyun was about to be close to tears.

Because it had been one of the omegas main issues - do not shut the doors without telling him, especially if he was the only one alone inside.

It was one of the reasons Chanyeol had got in the habit of leaving doors to rooms he was in open too, because a few days in he found Baekhyun's battered body asleep on the floor right outside the study when he thought the omega was sleeping in bed.

Baekhyun could have opened the door and came to sleep on the leather couches inside, or preferably on Chanyeol's lap, but he didn’t, and Chanyeol still felt bad about his feverish mate sleeping right outside the door because he hadn’t even heard him get out of bed.

“Okay, alpha is sorry.” Chanyeol crooned softly, reaching out to cup Baekhyun's cheek and gently kicking the door back against the wall with the heel of his foot, “What were you looking for, my love?”

The omega quickly forgot how worked up he was getting and Chanyeol sighed in relief as Baekhyun turned around to continue digging, moving to hug the omegas back to his chest.

“Head ache medicine,” Baekhyun muttered, looking into the mirror to send Chanyeol a heart pounding smile.

Chanyeol laughed before hiding his frown as kisses to Baekhyun's hair, “There’s no medicine in here, darling.”

“Oh!” The omega chirped, playfully sliding out of Chanyeol's hold to start walking back towards the stairs, “To the kitchen!”

Chanyeol would have found Baekhyun's playful chase cute as he followed behind his mate, but there was no point in Baekhyun looking around.

Because there was no medicine in the house.

The only things the pack let him keep were a few vitamins, iron supplements, and a few containers of antacids - nothing that could be even mistaken for pills other than a few extra antibiotics Chanyeol got to keep in case Baekhyun started feeling pain in his ears again.

Chanyeol never really cared about them raiding the house before, but now he was extremely pissed because he had nothing to give Baekhyun.

Of course he could just call one of them to bring Baekhyun some medicine and set it outside, but it was the idea that in seconds he could have had medicine for his mate, but now he had to wait for someone else to provide it for Baekhyun. It was the premise in itself that bothered him.

“Does it hurt too bad?” Chanyeol worried, following around the omega only to grab Baekhyun up around the waist to set him on the kitchen counter.

Baekhyun giggled and shook his head, but placed a fake pout to his lips, “Head hurts, alpha, in the middle.”

“My poor baby,” The alpha whispered, pressing a kiss to the center of Baekhyun's forehead and feeling a lot more relieved when his mate immediately tilted his head up for a kiss to the lips.

“Alpha, hurts.” Baekhyun whined more, just to get more kisses.

Chanyeol knew he was obviously being buttered up, but just hearing Baekhyun say such a thing didn’t seem as playful as it used to, regardless that his mate was in a very good mood today, and was playing him for love all day.

“Alpha will make you some tea, baby.” Chanyeol promised, kissing Baekhyun's lips a handful of more times before turning to the cabinets as his mate began to swing his legs to entertain himself.

He heard the small omega humming to himself behind his back and caught a small grin making its home on his face purely at the noise.

He continued on adding some water to a kettle and pulling down a package of tea when he heard Baekhyun's humming stop, and looked away for a moment to look at the counter.

Baekhyun was just sitting there swinging his legs silently, fingers touching the flowers that Minseok had dropped off days prior outside the door for him.

“Baby?”

“Alpha, am I bad?”

Chanyeol’s spine straightened up instantly, turning at the speed of light to cup Baekhyun's head to his chest, “No, of course not, why would you say that? You’re very good, a very good mate.”

Baekhyun nodded, but his chin stuck out with his slight pout, “If… I’m not bad, why did bad things happen?”

“Oh, baby.” The alpha sighed, placing his hand on the side of Baekhyun's neck to press their foreheads close, “You didn’t do anything, alphas are the bad ones, honey. Alphas are the very bad ones that did terrible things to you, and it’s unforgivable, but not your fault at all. You weren’t anything but good.”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun muffled into his shirt, “If I sing you a song, can I get more kisses?”

Chanyeol laughed fondly, scooping Baekhyun up under his arms to carry around, “You can get all the kisses just because I love you so much.”

“Alpha?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t really have a headache.”

Chanyeol smiled, “I know, angel.”


	24. I'll admit it's a struggle finding light in the tunnel

Baekhyun liked to paint a lot more than before.

Before, while his messes suggested otherwise, Baekhyun really painted maybe twice a week or even less, most of his other time was spent playing other games or dressing up, running around the house on a rampage for attention.

But he painted so much now, and Chanyeol could always tell it meant Baekhyun was either in a very good mood - which usually wasn’t the case as Baekhyun liked to leech those days - or very, very bad days.

Bad days that consisted of the smaller only focusing on one thing, unable to concentrate.

“Open up, darling.” Chanyeol requested, holding a spoonful of rice.

Baekhyun looked at him wide eyed, puffing his cheeks out and leaning over the table with his mouth wide open.

The blanket in his lap was pulled all the way up to his chest and he smiled with a mouthful when he got it.

“So good, pretty baby,” The alpha crooned, and it might appear Baekhyun was going to be in a good mood today, but Chanyeol knew better.

He knew Baekhyun too well, the omega fingers were rubbing the blanket back and forth too anxiously, his mate had been eating too fast and that’s why he had gotten his bowl taken away in the first place, leaving Chanyeol to feed him carefully.

It was a bad day, Baekhyun just still liked attention, even on these days.

Chanyeol knew it was going to be when Baekhyun had dragged the blanket straight off their bed and cried for no reason known to Chanyeol as he walked down stairs.

Turned out he was crying because his blanket had gotten caught on the corner of one of the doors.

It was a bad day.

“More?”

“Of course, darling.” Chanyeol cooed, watching Baekhyun open his mouth for another bite, he grabbed another spoonful and went to give it to him and Baekhyun grabbed it, little fingers holding it and Chanyeol sighed, tsking, “Baby, no. Alpha is feeding you right now because you keep giving yourself a belly ache, do you want to get sick again? Throw up all night?”

Baekhyun's eyes watered instantly, dropping the spoon and flopping back against his chair, “No.”

“No.” Chanyeol said softly, reaching over to pet the hair from his face, “That’s right, baby. And you’ve already had two bowls full, I think your little belly is already full, but you just don’t say a thing, hm? Alpha pays attention, beautiful.”

The omega sniffed, pulling the blanket up to his nose before giving a tiny nod.

Chanyeol felt guilty at the sight and laid the bowl on the table before standing up, Baekhyun instantly put his arms out with a whimper.

“Ah, you know alpha doesn’t ever forget you, sweet boy,” Chanyeol teased, lifting Baekhyun up onto his hip and soothing down his shirt.

“Blanket,” Baekhyun murmured fearfully, turning around to point at his blanket sitting on the chair.

The alpha pressed a kiss to his hair and leaned over to snatch it, pressing it to Baekhyun's chest and kissing his hair again when the omega squeaked and laid his cheek down to Chanyeol's shoulder.

“Okay,” Chanyeol muttered, going upstairs, “Alpha has a few family coming over in a little to update me, so I’ll tuck you into bed for a littl-“

“Alpha, can I paint?”

Chanyeol chewed his lip and nodded, setting Baekhyun on the end of their bed and turning to open the wooden chest at the foot of the bed, “Of course, darling, you can paint while I’m downstairs.”

Baekhyun beamed, showing all his teeth as he hopped off the bed and yanked his blanket with him, spreading it on the carpet and kicking a few clothes out of his way, “Paint here so no mess for alpha to clean.”

“Oh, thank you, my love, but you know I don’t mind cleaning them.” Chanyeol cooed, setting paint tubes and supplies on the blanket, “If my mate makes them, then I don’t mind.”

The omega giggled, organizing his supplies onto the blanket before stiffening when he heard the lock downstairs beeping as someone typed in the code.

Chanyeol noticed and nodded once to himself before kneeling down to cup Baekhyun's cheek, “I’ll be really fast. Promise, baby.”

Baekhyun pouted his bottom lip, but nodded sadly, fingers grabbing Chanyeol's sleeve and sitting up on his knees for a kiss.

“Don’t be so sad,” The alpha scolded playfully, pressing kisses to Baekhyun's mouth multiple times, “My mate ignores me half the time anyways,” He teased, playfully nipping Baekhyun's nose just to watch the smaller scrunch it up and laugh.

“No!” Baekhyun laughed, giggling and closing his eyes as Chanyeol pecked his face, “Never ignore - sometimes just… forget.”

The alpha snickered, shaking his head and kissing Baekhyun's temple, “Because that’s much better to forget about your mate.”

Baekhyun only scrunched up his face in a laugh.

Chanyeol licked his lips with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's shoulders to press another kiss to his head, nuzzling his face into his soft curls.

“Chanyeol!”

“Man, come on! We brought Baek cake!”

Baekhyun stiffened up like a pole, releasing a whimper and Chanyeol clicked his tongue, grabbing his mate's chin softly between his fingers, “I’ll be back, just sit tight.”

The omega nodded, but his lips were down turned to show his sadness and Chanyeol cooed at him once more, pecking the corner of his mouth before letting go, “Love you, and I’ll be right back.” He promised.

Baekhyun pouted his lips and turned back to his paints and started lathering the canvas in colors.

Normally, he’d draw an outline, figure out specifically what kind of drawing he was in the mood to make.

But, he didn’t feel like his usual paintings.

He didn’t feel like making something that he knew Chanyeol would praise for being so pretty, or something that would impress the alpha and make him get lots of love and attention for creating something so beautiful.

Not a lot was beautiful these days.

Not a lot was worth being impressed over.

Because that’s not realistic, and Baekhyun tried to be as realistic as he could recently.

And realistically, Baekhyun knew not a lot was beautiful in the world.

Chanyeol was beautiful, he always thought the alpha was, and he used to think together they made a pretty pair.

But Baekhyun didn’t see beauty when he looked at himself in the mirror anymore. He used to, but not anymore.

He couldn’t stand looking at himself for more than a few seconds in the mirror before bursting into tears and his breath becoming shallow.

_Such a dumb omega, stupid bitch can’t even hold himself still. Stand up!_

_Ew, don’t go for the face, now he just looks fucking disgusting! Even I can’t fuck him looking like that!_

_Fuck. We thought you’d be a good fuck, but you’re so goddamn loud! Shut up! Never thought I’d get tired of hearing alpha until now, whore!_

Baekhyun hadn’t been crying for them.

He’d been screaming for Chanyeol.

Everytime, everyday, and even when his voice gave out it was just endless yelling in his head.

_Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol._

_Help me._

_I’m sorry._

_Please find me._

“What are you doing, Baek?”

Baekhyun hadn’t seen any of the pack members so close in so long, and he felt really bad about how quickly he was moving to press his back against the wall and straightening out his spine.

“So it’s like this now?” Sehun wondered, clicking his tongue, and internally Baekhyun knew the alpha already was young, that he wasn’t going to try anything.

But some of the alphas that had pinned him to the ground had also smelled like teenagers, either themselves or they had children, he didn’t know and didn’t care; that still hadn’t stopped them from making him feel nothing more than an object, a toy.

Even worse if they were so young because he should have expected as much, even young alphas had the advantage.

He knew Sehun. He knew Sehun, he knew this alpha.

That’s the only reason he wasn’t screaming right now and making Chanyeol rush back in, because he knew the alpha probably left the back door open, even during his meetings, to listen for him.

“I’m not going to touch you, Baekhyun.” Sehun said, “I’m not going to rape you, d-don’t look at me like that.”

Baekhyun used to think the youngest alphas' straightforward personality was funny, but not right now when he was trying his best to go around what was obvious and being forced up his throat.

That he had been raped.

Many, many times he had been forced to submit for someone that was not his own mate.

That he had been beaten to near death, and somewhat wished they could have hit a little harder.

Baekhyun knew it must have been Chanyeol's strength in his claim that kept him alive so long, because after the first month he had long given up.

“God. S-can’t you just see me? Just.. just close your eyes, Baekhyun. It’s just me! It’s just me, and I just wa.. I just wanted you to talk to me, because I missed you. Okay? Okay, I missed you, we all missed you and want to see you.”

Baekhyun knew that years ago, when he and Chanyeol first started seeing each other, that Sehun looked up to him a lot.

It was probably because at the time he had only been a child, and it was unfair to treat him like this when he had known all of them for so long.

“Baekhyun, please. I’m not- I’m not going to hurt you.”

Baekhyun was always weak for the alphas crying, because it went against everything they were - to cry for an omega - but they were family, and Baekhyun loved Sehun like he was his own child ever since he was a puppy.

Sehun used to skip up to him with a handful of toys to ask him to play, used to fight with Chanyeol that Baekhyun was going to be his mate when he was older.

Seeing Sehun only made Baekhyun feel worse, because he wanted to be able to talk to him, but the truth was he was an alpha - and he smelled like an alpha.

He didn’t feel any better about the smell than he did when Jongin came to see him weeks before.

“Sehun,” Baekhyun was wondering when they’d figure out the youngest snuck off from their meeting, “You're not supposed to be in here.” Chanyeol growled, but he wasn’t mad, mostly scolding.

“I just.. I jus-“

“Let’s go home,” Yifan ordered, not stepping into the room and Baekhyun was thankful for it even if he knew the alpha was staring at him, “You're scaring him, Sehun. It’s not your fault, but you can’t just come see him. Not anymore.”

Not anymore, Baekhyun wanted to cry at the words, but his heart was racing too fast.

“Please,” Chanyeol whispered, and Sehun was walking out on his own accord, because it was obvious Baekhyun was absolutely terrified, pressing himself into the wall and wrapping his paint covered hands all around his knees.

Chanyeol didn’t speak up for a good few minutes, not until a good five minutes after they heard the front door shut.

Baekhyun just watched him clean up his mess of brushes from the rug, and eyed the new stains that were entirely his fault for just dropping the coated brushes carelessly onto the striped rug.

“Looks like you’re almost out of colors, I’ll get you some more.” Chanyeol whispered, and Baekhyun was pretty sure he was just avoiding talking about it, and he appreciated that. “Need some more black and some red, we’ll just get you a bunch more. I’ll order you some more, baby.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond, but his arms loosened around himself a tiny bit.

“What were you making?” Chanyeol asked, carefully pulling up the thick canvas paper from the ground and moving to put it in the window to dry. “It’s very… very…”

“It’s ugly,” The omega mumbled, leaning forward to help clean up his mess even though he was just getting more paint everywhere.

“I wouldn’t say… it’s ugly, it’s just…. it-“

“It’s supposed to be.” Baekhyun shrugged, tossing his dirty brushes into a plastic cup, “Supposed to be ugly, Chanyeol.”

“Okay, I wasn’t sure what to say,” Chanyeol tried to joke, and Baekhyun's lip twitched up a little, but he otherwise didn’t give a reaction as Chanyeol took a seat on the rug and began closing and putting Baekhyun's paints back into the chest at the end of the bed.

“Did you… you hear all of it?”

“A bit,” Chanyeol answered quietly, leaning his elbow on the open chest to watch Baekhyun carefully, “Sehun loves you, he’d never hurt you.”

Baekhyun knew that.

But it was too much to suddenly try and throw himself back into the pack and try to pretend he didn’t want to bang his head against the wall to try and forget his own memories.

“Alphas-“

“No.” Chanyeol tried.

“- always-“

“Stop, Baekhyun.” The alpha requested, and he was already crying, but Baekhyun wasn’t scared of Chanyeol even if he told him no, “Please- please don’t, please don’t, Baekhyun.”

“I’m an omega, do you want a try?” Baekhyun laughed dryly, sitting back on his heels to angrily push the pile he had nicely created towards his chest before he growled and it was painful as he threw the brushes across the room, “Do you want to? Do you want to! I said stop! I said stop!”

“Stop it!”

Baekhyun hissed, screaming as he realized he broke one of his brushes, but his fight was gone as Chanyeol pulled his back to his chest, shushing him.

“Stop, stop, I love you. I love you. I love you, stop.” The alpha cried, kissing at his temple even as Baekhyun scratched at his arm, angry, but not trying to leave. “Sh, no more. Please. Please I can’t hear it, B-Baekhyun.”

“Crying, crying, crying.” Baekhyun tsked, but his head went limp as he dropped it down to stare at his own lap. “Don’t care about crying - a-alphas don't care about crying. Do you want to hit me? Hit him, it’s okay,‘it’s okay - he can take it, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” Chanyeol growled, clenching his jaw, but otherwise only holding Baekhyun to him, “It’s not okay. Alphas don’t hit omegas, we don’t. Good alphas don’t. Sh, Baekhyun. Baby, I’m not going to hit you. Nobody is going to hit you or touch you.”

Baekhyun sniffed, rolling the handle of his broken brush between his fingers, “... it’s okay,” He whispered before dropping the broken wood and curling his paint covered hand around Chanyeol's wrist, watching the black spread all over his alphas skin. “I can take it.”

“I love you. I love you. I hear you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun dropped his head limply, rolling his head back to rest on Chanyeol's shoulder and closing his eyes, “Ugly, so ugly, so ugly. Dirty, I’m sorry, d-dirty.”

Chanyeol frowned and was lifting Baekhyun up carefully, cradling, “You made a mess but it can be cleaned, baby. Still love you even if you make a mess.”

But the omega only continued whispering to himself when Chanyeol carried him into the bathroom, and that was when the alpha realized, setting Baekhyun on the rug in order to start a warm bath.

“You’re not dirty,” He whispered before turning to Baekhyun and cupping his face, “You’re not. You’re not, you’re still my pretty baby, beautiful.”

Baekhyun whimpered a high pitched, pained noise and Chanyeol could resist growling, instinctively pulling the omega between his legs in a protective stance, pressing a palm over his claim. “No. No. You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful and I love you and you’re not dirty at all. Or ugly, not ugly at all and alpha is going to teach you to think you’re pretty again, because you are.”


	25. I'd say I'm relatively close to breaking down

_“Still, still, still stil…. sh, not so loud…”_

Chanyeol swallowed and leaned back against the guest door with a sigh, brushing the hair off his forehead and bringing his knees closer to his chest.

It was a lie if he tried to say he was unbothered right now.

But what _really_ bothered him weren't the words or the scratching, anxious sounds he heard on the other side, but it was truly that he hated that _Baekhyun_ had to deal with this alone.

“B-Ba-“ Chanyeol cut himself off to clear his throat, although he'd been listening to Baekhyun through the door for a good while.

He wasn’t sure what happened, he'd been in the bathroom and could hear Baekhyun humming a tune in the kitchen - then, next second there was a heart wrenching scream and the omegas footsteps _ran_ upstairs.

It’d been a good half hour since then.

“Baekhyunnie,” He mumbled, making his presence known finally although his mate likely knew he’d been there since the beginning, “Are you ready to come out yet, angel?”

He hoped so, because he was really done hearing Baekhyun’s disturbing whispers.

_“No, a-alpha!”_

Normally, Chanyeol would listen to that so _easily,_ he'd sit outside the door for as long as Baekhyun wanted him to.

But, Baekhyun didn’t sound too sure. 

He didn’t sound sure at all really.

So, Chanyeol twisted onto his knees to crack the door a bit, peering inside to see all the lights on in the room.

He sighed and pushed it open all the way, taking a seat on the floor.

Baekhyun _screeched,_ the omega tucked into the corner of the bed, against the wall, eyes blown wide and when he flailed something went flying across the room from his hand.

“Sh, I’m right here.” 

Chanyeol adjusted himself to lean against the doorframe to show that he wasn’t intending on crowding Baekhyun. “What…”

He sniffed and the stale scent of iron hit his nose.

It was _so extremely_ difficult not to flip the room over right then and there - to _not_ start demanding to see the injury.

 _“Baekhyun,”_ He whispered, gathering himself and clenching his hands over his jeans, “Angel. My sweet angel, are you bleeding?”

Baekhyun just whimpered into the blankets, the white comforter pulled all around him and up to his nose.

The omega kicked his feet a little beneath the blankets, eyes bloodshot and face tear stained as he laid with his cheek down on the bed. 

“I’m standing up,” Chanyeol whispered, doing as said and climbing to his feet with his hands visible as he turned to look for whatever Baekhyun had tossed.

It wasn’t really his priority, but he was mostly doing so that way Baekhyun had time to calm down.

“What were you doing, baby?” Chanyeol cooed softly, “Were you making a snack before this? I bet it’s still waiting to be finished, sweetheart. Do you want to go finish?” 

Baekhyun didn’t so much as mumble a reply, but he did twist his body around to follow Chanyeol's back when the alpha knelt down to receive a small bracelet from beside the dresser. 

“Do you want this back, my love?” He asked, holding the beaded necklace up.

Zitao had practically stayed outside the front door all yesterday morning waiting to give it to Baekhyun, sitting on the bench with Yifan.

Of course he hadn’t gotten to see Baekhyun’s face when he was given it - Chanyeol had to go receive it and rub it clean of all other scents.

But, Baekhyun had cooed all about his new gift from _Taozi,_ so he made sure to let the omega know Baekhyun loved it a lot.

“I… sorry.” 

“No. There’s _no_ reason to be sorry, what happened?” The alpha spun around instantly to Baekhyun sitting up on his knees, but his calm expression wavered as he got a good look over Baekhyun’s face from nose down.

“Are… did you bite your lip?” He fussed, looking at the thin smudge of blood on Baekhyun's mouth, moving beside the bed and opening his arms for him.

 _“No… Chanyeol,”_ Baekhyun mumbled, mouth in a full on frown as he sat up and raised his arms.

It was unfortunate that Chanyeol didn’t buy _anything_ Baekhyun was saying, because he really wished he could just snuggle him and coo at him and let him pretend that he just bit his lip instead.

But he didn’t, and Chanyeol threw a hand over his mouth to try and _not_ start crying.

It was difficult when his eyes glossed over anyway.

“I-“ He tried, recoiling with a deep breath, “You- Baek…” 

This was _new,_ this was something he'd _never_ seen from Baekhyun before.

_Never._

Sure, sometimes the omega scratched himself up, he sometimes smacked himself against walls like he didn’t even realize he was hurting himself.

But he didn’t do… _this._

Chanyeol sucked in a deep breath before reaching over to accept him under his arms, dragging him to sit on the edge of the bed before rolling Baekhyun’s shirt up.

 _“Alpha?”_ Baekhyun pouted at him, “It doesn’t hurt.”

What a _lie -_ how could a full on _bite not hurt?_ It was bleeding and irritated, and Chanyeol had no fucking clue why Baekhyun would bite _himself_ when he'd been through so much already.

“Why would you do this?” Chanyeol asked, neither accusing or scolding, leaning over to begin to clean over the wound.

It really wasn’t that big or deep, more like a nip, but it was still bleeding, and that was not okay.

“Huh?” Baekhyun’s face pulled into a scrunched nose giggly look, “No, silly! Not me.” 

Chanyeol disliked how easily his mate made light of such a situation, but there was no way he could even _begin_ to try to scold him for such a thing. 

Because he didn’t fucking _know_ what he'd say.

He didn’t even know what to say right _now._

“Then who did it?” Chanyeol sniffed and wiped the corner of the _now stained_ comforter over the wound to see if it was beginning to close up - it was, of course it was when it wasn’t that bad.

Any blood he saw was _so bad_ though, because it means injury and Heaven knew Baekhyun didn’t deserve anymore injuries.

Baekhyun didn’t answer and instead grunted an annoyed sound and plopped onto his chest, yanking his arm out of Chanyeol’s grip and clutching him, “Hungry!”

The alpha _did_ gather him up to carry, he slipped the bracelet into Baekhyun’s hand and was silent as the omega pressed into his neck happy to be carried downstairs.

There was a broken bowl on the kitchen floor when he got there, and fruit spilled out and cabinets still open.

There was a fruit covered knife on the counter and Chanyeol would scold him _later_ because knives around _Baekhyun_ were a huge no-no.

Maybe that’s what set him off anyway.

“What would you like, baby?” Chanyeol pressed a kiss to his ear and set him in a chair at the dining table, watching Baekhyun instantly oo and place his jaw in his hands.

It was cute. But he wasn’t so happy to see how fake Baekhyun was acting right now.

He'd never say it, or admit so though.

“Ice cream!” The omega screamed not dissimilar to a child as he climbed to his knees and placed palms on the table to look over into the kitchen more, “Ice cream time!”

“How about a _real food time_ and _then_ ice cream time?”

Baekhyun whined and plopped down into his seat to curl arms around his stomach and Chanyeol couldn't help his fond grin as he leaned over the island.

His mate throwing a fit was something that happened rather a lot these days, but not usually over such meaningless things as ice cream.

“What the hell,” Chanyeol cried to himself, laughing as he turned to dig into the freezer, “Since you're so _stinking cute,_ Baekhyun! Whatever you want, baby!”

There was a loud squeal of excitement that sort of hurt Chanyeol's ears, but the alpha just grinned anyway and gathered a spoon with the tub of ice cream.

Baekhyun looked like he was sugar high already, bouncing on his knees with hands pressed together beneath his chin excitedly.

Chanyeol laughed, leaning down to kiss a red tear track on his cheekbone before scooping him up just to take his spot and settle him in his lap. 

The omega giggled and plopped back against his shoulder with a squeak, giving Chanyeol a chance to kiss the opposite cheek as he deposited the spoon into needy hands.

 _“Goodness, what is alpha to do with you?”_ He murmured to himself, combing Baekhyun’s hair back as the omega scooped a big chunk of ice cream into his mouth with a cute kick of his feet and eyes as wide as his spoon.

As if nothing happened five minutes ago, as if something hadn’t occured and made Chanyeol just about slip in the shower and crack his head open when Baekhyun screamed and hid.

God, how could Baekhyun just be so _calm_ suddenly? Abruptly, like he hadn’t a care in the world other than stuffing his cheeks full of chocolate ice cream and cooing to himself.

The Baekhyun before all of this could hold grudges for _hours, days,_ he would never _ever_ just snap his fingers and all was right with the world.

He _also_ would have never bitten himself bloody either.

He wouldn’t do a lot of things that _this_ Baekhyun did.

Chanyeol felt guilty to even try and convince himself that he didn’t want the old one back - of course he did - but for _Baekhyun’s_ health. Not because they were so different.

So different and yet so _alike._

“You’re going to get a brain freeze, baby,” He chuckled into Baekhyun’s hair, pecking the spot before pressing his chin to Baekhyun’s shoulder and grabbing his arm to flip over and check the bite.

It was practically gone now, just a few teeny indents that he just _knew_ came from his mates sharp canines. 

Chanyeol waited for Baekhyun to swallow before gently prying his lip up, his mate didn’t comment but he did give him pouty eyes and hold up his spoon with an _i'm eating, excuse you_ look.

“Aish, fine, fine,” The alpha snorted when Baekhyun began to squirm, moving his arms to instead cuddle the omega tighter to his chest.

“It’s _Kay,”_ His mate giggled, holding his spoon up to feed Chanyeol a bite and dripping it on his shirt in the process. 

What was a little ice cream stain? It certainly wasn’t a blood stain like the blanket in the guest room, so Chanyeol didn’t give a fuck.

“It’s _okay,_ doesn’t hurt if you bite _real hard!”_ Baekhyun yipped, already back to scooping himse bites, “Just for _one tiny second_ it hurts! Hurts at first, but not after a while. So it’s okay.” 

Chanyeol clicked his tongue and it wasn’t unfamiliar to him not knowing what to say these days.

But it was usually much easier to find words when Baekhyun was crying or sobbing or afraid - because when he was like this… so uncaring, it just put him off even more.

Like anything he could say would result in his mate screaming his head off and panicking at the flip of a switch, and when he was _already_ panicking there was nothing for Chanyeol to really _risk_ saying to make it worse.

Right now he could say a lot of things to make it worse.

“Is that right?” Chanyeol whispered, clearing his throat and pressing his lips to the back of his mates neck, “It doesn’t hurt at first?”

Baekhyun was such a _messy_ little thing, chocolate on the corner of his mouth as he twisted with a sweet smile and nod, “Yeah… you get used to it.” He shrugged as if he was talking about some everyday routine, not being _bitten._

“Then how about you give alpha a bite.” 

The omega _stiffened_ like a pole, dropping the spoon in his fist on the floor as he frowned in confusion, “... _no?”_

“Why not?” His mate asked, petting over the omegas stomach gently, “If it doesn’t hurt then why can’t you give me a bite?” 

Baekhyun’s mouth twisted and a line pressed into his forehead, “Cause…. Alpha is not _bad.”_

“So that means you think you are,” Chanyeol murmured, placing a hand on his mate's head to soothe him the _second_ confused tears threatened to spring out of Baekhyun’s eyes. “And I don’t think you’re bad at all, so if you deserve bites, then I do too - right? That’s a fair deal.” 

Baekhyun didn’t like it at all, it was obvious when his throat released a bubbly, sobbing noise and he kneed Chanyeol multiple times trying to turn around to face him, whimpering and crying as he laid into his neck and toyed with his shirt.

Chanyeol didn’t mean to upset him, but knew it was necessary because that’s the _only_ way his mate understood things these days, the only time he processed them.

“Do you understand what I mean, baby?” He whispered into his hair, both hands holding the back of his head down onto his shoulder.

He could hear Baekhyun sniffling and chewing at his finger in thought, and it really did make Chanyeol feel like absolute shit.

_What kind of mate voluntarily made their omega burst into tears?_

One that really, really cared that Baekhyun understood every single word that came out of his mouth - that he _processed_ and _remembered_ what he was implying or telling him. 

“Sh, love bug.” Chanyeol said under his breath, turning his head to press kisses into his mates temple, “If you're bad, then I’m bad, and we are either bad together or not bad at all - there’s _no in between._ If you want to hurt yourself, then you have to hurt me too, since we're mates forever and _ever,_ angel.” 

_“Bu-But.. I don’t want you to be bad!”_ Baekhyun yelped, smacking a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, but it was likely completely unintentional because the omega was bursting like a water fountain a second later.

“Hey, I don’t want you to be bad either,” He soothed, cupping Baekhyun’s face in large hands and stroking tears away with his thumbs.

_God, it hurt so bad._

Looking at him like this, how Baekhyun could go from giggles one second to absolutely terrified was _beyond_ Chanyeol's comprehension- maybe even beyond an _alpha’s_ comprehension in general, but what the hell did they have to fear?

Chanyeol had so much to fear. He woke up afraid even if Baekhyun was passed out beside him and cooing in his sleep.

Even if his mate was painting or singing he was afraid.

Just looking at glass bottles made him afraid, looking at the front door scared the life out of him.

And yet, there was not _one_ moment he could even try to compare what he felt to the horror Baekhyun did, it was unfair, and it would be a lie.

What kind of person could compare being scared of alcohol bottles because he had no _fucking self control_ versus being scared of closed doors so he didn’t have to _relive the worst moments of his fucking life?_

“So let’s not be bad, and let’s not be hurt.” Chanyeol requested, rubbing the tips of their noses together as his mate curled hands around his wrists, “Let’s live healthy without injuries from now on, baby.” 

_“Don’t wanna be bad no more.”_

It was such a needless fear when Baekhyun had never been bad in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was editing I realized there was no real scene of Baekhyun’s self harm, although it’s mentioned, I wanted to add one real quick, even if it’s not that good of a representation
> 
> Same w ch 29, I wanted to make things more clear


	26. Looking for some place to be or some place to hide his grief

“Hi, alpha!”

Chanyeol grinned, looking up at the doorway and removing the reading glasses from his face.

Baekhyun really liked to run back and forth in the doorway.

The omega always did it - without a doubt - when in a preppy or good mood.

“Hi! Alpha!” Baekhyun repeated, tittering to himself and holding the door frame, bouncing up and down on his toes.

Chanyeol opened his mouth to respond, but Baekhyun was running down the hall again with a squeal, dragging the blanket in his hand with him.

He laughed, licking his lips and rubbing over his chest that was filled with fondness, because he knew it was only a matter of time before the pup came back to coo at him some more and run off.

He’d been doing so all day, and while perhaps in the past he would have been a bit irritated at the distraction - what a lie because he let Baekhyun do whatever he wanted even then - his heart only raced a bit faster.

Baekhyun hated shut doors, hated when people knocked, hid in closets when afraid, ate so much his waist was rounding up, he still had yet to visit his own pack after three months, he had to sleep with a light on, preferably the same exact galaxy movie in the background, had thrown up on Chanyeol for giving him a bath about a month ago, and was so, so painfully scarred.

But he loved Chanyeol still, wanted all the attention the alpha had to give and more.

And was making so, so much progress.

He had yelled through the window days ago and earned so much praise for making Tao’s day, had only been caught hiding under the bed once the past two weeks, was slowly incorporating more and more new (or old) things into his routine like looking out the windows and doors, and was overall getting more and more happier.

Chanyeol was well aware he’d never be the same, he’d never be the omega that cutely accused him of not wanting him just because that was his way of asking to mate, he’d never be okay going into others homes - he had yet to even go outside yet - he’d never big Chanyeol to take him on dates, he’d probably always wail when the alpha wasn’t in sight and he didn’t know where he was.

Baekhyun was missing out on so much. So many things.

But that was going to be okay, Chanyeol was going to make sure that Baekhyun was safe and most of all happy for their entire lives now, even if it meant they’d never mate ever again, they’d never get to hold hands and go out to movies, he’d never be able to have time with just his pack members.

Chanyeol would miss it. Of course he would.

He’d miss to have Baekhyun’s giggly moans against his mouth, to hold the omega in his lap because every time he took Baekhyun out to the movies his mate always had a grand explanation of why he needed to be seated exactly on his thighs instead of his own seat.

_Your view is better!_

_Because I’m too short, there’s a head blocking the screen!_

_Just hold me, I’m cold! My toes are freezing!_

_Alpha! Just let me be close!_

Chanyeol always laughed against the back of his neck, peppering a few kisses down his shoulder and always felt Baekhyun whimper messily.

That was okay though.

Chanyeol was in no rush to get any of those back, his dreams had already been made true just to see Baekhyun again.

So nothing else compared, and he had no true hopes as to what progress Baekhyun would ever have, just being able to see him, smell him, hold him was an entire dream.

Just not seeing tears and bruises on Baekhyun’s small face was more than he could have asked for, so much so that he considered himself so lucky.

How sad was it that a man felt lucky the love of his life no longer cried on an hourly basis? That Chanyeol wished every single night Baekhyun would have a good night's sleep because his mate deserved it so much.

So, so much. Baekhyun deserved so much in this lifetime.

Maybe in the next they would have a better time, maybe they’d meet and get to live life easily.

Maybe.

“Alpha!”

Chanyeol's eyes snapped up from the glass of water on the corner of his desk he hadn’t realized he had been staring at, instantly clearing his throat.

Baekhyun was carrying something in one hand and had a star patterned blanket dragging all over the floor, dressed head to toe in Chanyeol’s clothes.

His older ones were getting a bit too small now that his cheeks were round, very chubby.

It was probably attributed to the omegas very intense and adamant eating habits, but Chanyeol had spoke to Yixing and started getting Baekhyun on an eating schedule mostly because he was afraid the omega was going to get sick or something suddenly eating so much and gaining weight back within three months after being severely underweight.

He wouldn’t do the planned meals if he didn’t have to, because Baekhyun was fucking adorable with chubby little cheeks and soft thighs, and Chanyeol still could carry him around easily. But knew it was best, and so far it had only been working because Chanyeol convinced Baekhyun they’d do it together to bond.

He wasn’t really sure Baekhyun knew it was a feeding plan anyways, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t eat junk - just only during certain times and in smaller servings - so the omega hadn’t yet whined.

Baekhyun’s hair was also longer.

Chanyeol should really cut it because it was blocking his eyes, but last time he tried to Baekhyun cried halfway through because he didn’t like the sound of the scissors so close to his face but tried to power through.

He really should have told Chanyeol before, but also knew his mate tried to be stronger than he was recently. Pushed himself too much.

“Can I… play games?”

Chanyeol hummed, pushing out his chair to make room for Baekhyun to come stand between his legs, “Why are you asking, sweet boy? It’s your phone, baby.”

He could always tell when Baekhyun just wanted attention because it came in the most random of forms.

Also, Baekhyun’s scrunched nose beam was a tell all.

“C-Cause! Because…”

Chanyeol snorted because Baekhyun tilted his head to find an excuse, laughing and dragging the omega into his lap, pulling the blanket off the ground to drape over Baekhyun’s shoulders, “Silly, baby. You just wanted kisses, huh?”

He followed up his statement by pressing a handful of enthusiastic kisses to Baekhyun’s temple and heard the omega screech, squeaking and giving an excited nod as he threw his arms around Chanyeol’s neck.

The alpha heard something drop on the ground behind his chair and knew it was Baekhyun’s phone - but that was okay because the omega had already broken the screen two weeks ago whilst having a panic attack that Chanyeol had only been made aware of because he heard their lamp shatter too.

He made a quick dash to Baekhyun then, accidentally scaring the omega who was panicking and earning the elbow to his side, but he too had been afraid Baekhyun had been cut on the shattered lamp.

Baekhyun was progressing, but… things weren’t by any means cured, and that was okay. He had more of a right to have panic attacks than Chanyeol did - and the alpha did too.

But on his own, tucked in the corner of the couch when Baekhyun was asleep. Because his problems weren’t nearly as important as Baekhyun’s.

“Lets go have an early snack time, what do you say, angel? We can watch that movie like you wanted.” Chanyeol cooed, pressing a kiss to the center of Baekhyun’s nose.

The omega showed all his pretty teeth, shifting to squeeze Chanyeol tighter, “Cookies?”

The alpha snickered, kissing along his ear as he stood up with Baekhyun holding on with a monkey like grip, laughing into his jaw. “When does alpha ever tell you no? Hm? Never ever.”

“Never ever!” Baekhyun chirped into his cheek, pressing his smile into his skin, “Best mate of them all!” He added like he was talking to himself, petting Chanyeol’s hair, “Yup! My mate!”

“My mate,” Chanyeol mimicked playfully, adjusting Baekhyun’s legs tighter around his hips and petting over his lower back through the fluffy blanket.

The omega hummed into his skin, smiling and laughing to himself about things only he knew and Chanyeol was content to have him in his own little world as long as it wasn’t a sad one, placing him over the back of the couch onto the cushions and patting his hair before walking into the kitchen.

“Alpha!” Baekhyun cooed not even a second later, eyes popping up over the back of the couch, “It’s so hot!”

“Take off your hoodie then, funny baby.” He answered easily, grabbing the glass jar of cookies and then a bottle of milk from the fridge. “Alpha will switch you shirts if you want.”

He didn’t hear Baekhyun respond, but saw him lifting his arms remove the hoodie and grinned, strolling into the living room.

“Just a few, baby. No more belly aches.” Chanyeol added, setting the items down on the coffee table and reaching over to fix Baekhyun’s bangs, looking over his bare chest.

Baekhyun really was fucking adorable with a bit of weight on his bones. Cuddly and cute.

Chanyeol quickly removed his top, grabbing the hoodie to put on before the omega could notice his bare chest. It wasn’t even that Baekhyun didn’t want to or otherwise got worked up about seeing his skin, but he.. was more promiscuous than preferred just at the sight of him changing.

Others probably wouldn’t be alarmed at Baekhyun’s responses, they were mates and were drawn together sexually, but there was a line where he wasn’t sure if Baekhyun was completely aware of where he was, who he was with, what he was doing.

And that wasn’t okay.

Chanyeol refused to be one of the alphas that hurt Baekhyun, and wouldn’t take advantage of him in that way ever. Not when he was sure his omega wasn’t okay with that.

He wouldn’t be just another alpha that raped an omega, not like everyone else.

“Arms up, pretty. There you go, my good boy,” Chanyeol crooned, fixing Baekhyun’s hand through the sleeve as the omega tried to rush it out for his cookies. “My hungry little monster!” He teased, kissing the palm of Baekhyun’s hand.

Baekhyun purred, burying his nose into the shirt and Chanyeol snorted because he was right beside him if he wanted his scent so badly.

“You love cookies more than alpha,” He joked, pinching Baekhyun’s ear lobe very, very softly, leaning over to kiss his neck, “Rude. I do so much for you, angel, what have cookies done, huh?”

“Fill my belly!” Baekhyun exclaimed, giggling as he shimmied closer to rest his back into Chanyeol’s chest to which the alpha instantly started rubbing his stomach, pressing his nose into his hair with a deep inhale. “Cookies are always so nice to me!”

Chanyeol understood that sentiment well, because Baekhyun deemed every food “nice to him” which is why the alpha so regretfully had to keep close eyes on him.

It had got to the point he was telling the pack on the phone how worried he was because Baekhyun would just binge until his stomach couldn’t anymore, and Kyungsoo suggested locking food up.

That was way too much, he’d never give Baekhyun the impression he wasn’t allowed to eat, and the omega was way, way too sensitive that he’d instantly assume Chanyeol wouldn’t be feeding him any longer.

The pack tried to help him, they did, but… they also didn’t know, didn’t truly understand what was going on or how bad it was.

They didn’t understand that Baekhyun had been extremely and possibly irreversibly traumatized. That his mate had nightmares of being forced onto dirty floors and insulted.

Alphas just took, and took and took, and Chanyeol forced himself to listen, had to because Baekhyun deserved to be heard on the rare chances he was willing to talk - mostly sob and shake.

Chanyeol wasn’t allowed to feel guilty at all when he could have prevented this.

Could have prevented when Baekhyun whimpered, holding his arm like it had been injured even though he hadn’t been touched at all, sometimes blocking his face.

He could have prevented Baekhyun’s frightful wailing and kicking at him when he tried to comfort him, but Chanyeol was an alpha and he understood sometimes Baekhyun didn’t want to - couldn't be near him.

Because he still had the rough scent that reminded Baekhyun of being restrained, of his body being toyed with and tossed around.

Sometimes Baekhyun threw up, not because of eating too much, but because memories were powerful, and so real.

Chanyeol had to hold him, bundle him up, wipe his tears and hold him into his chest when the omega sobbed, writhed and shook with his voice so stuttered and wet it was hard to understand. But he understood enough. Understood more than he wished because when Baekhyun said things about his mouth he found it hard not to look at him carefully all day, when he said things about such compromised and shameful things he’d been forced to do.

Chanyeol sobbed right back, promising he loved and cared about him, that he’d never leave his side and let another person touch him again, bundled him up like he had a castle of blankets and bedding, carried him around all day in these little nests even if they were huge and distracting.

Even if he could only see a fluff of hair and a pair of puppy eyes peeking out.

Because that’s how he always wanted Baekhyun to be.

Unafraid, covered, protected, shielded, warm, stomach full.

And Chanyeol deserved for this to happen to him, should have never gotten involved with Baekhyun and ruined the omegas life but couldn’t possibly fathom the thought of ever considering Baekhyun a mistake.

And if he had too, Baekhyun was the happiest mistake he’d ever made; the brightest, loving, gorgeous, funny, sweet, and just.. just downright amazing mistake he’d ever made.

“Mhm!”

Baekhyun was pressing his half eaten cookie to his lips now, sending him a bright smile and rubbing his cheek against his chest for his attention, “Yum!”

“Oh, thank you,” Chanyeol dodged the treat to press a kiss to Baekhyun’s wrist instead, nosing at it and moving his hands to mess with the blanket, “Eat up, my love. All for you, beautiful.”

“Ooo!”

Chanyeol smiled fondly at his excitement and the way Baekhyun was curling into his chest, molding his body into his like they could physically merge.

He mused that he wished they could too, because at least then he could take half of Baekhyun’s pain away.

But he couldn’t.

“You want kisses before the movie?” Chanyeol asked softly, reaching over to pet Baekhyun’s hair behind his ear and soothing over the omegas claim, “Alpha would like one kiss, baby. Of course if those cookies aren’t busy taking up all my mates time.”

“All kisses for my alpha!”

And just as Baekhyun claimed, his alpha got all the kisses.


	27. I remember where we started, I remember how you looked

“Let’s try something different today, shall we?” Chanyeol sighed into Baekhyun’s temple, fingers washing away the tear stains on the omegas cheeks.

The omega had woken up in a rather distraught mood, silently crying rather than sobbing or even sniffling.

Just a silent stream of tears that Chanyeol had woken up alerted to.

Arguably, those were the worst kind of tears or events to wake up to because he had no idea when Baekhyun had started crying, how long he’d been up.

And Baekhyun didn’t sniff or attempt to wipe them away, just having a huge wet spot on his shirt from where they’d run off his chin onto his clothes, unmoving, not even shaking.

It was cruel to think so, but Chanyeol would rather the omega be shaking or whimpering because at least his instincts would wake him instantly, but Baekhyun didn’t attempt to wake him at all.

Another reason to hate such emotionless tears.

“How about I show you something after, yeah?” He cooed, swirling his finger into the bath water.

Baekhyun usually calmed better in a bathtub, either wet or dry, even if he sometimes freaked out when getting washed.

But he panicked even worse if Chanyeol tried to leave him alone in bathrooms, so one type of panic was preferable over the other when it could usually be avoided.

“Hm? You ready to talk yet, beautiful?” Chanyeol asked, leaning over to cup Baekhyun’s cheek and kiss his forehead, “My pretty, pretty boy. Alphas going to wash you now, is that okay?”

Baekhyun didn’t respond right away, looking down at the water and swishing it around.

Chanyeol hummed once more, kissing his cheek and giving him time to think, “We can skip a wash today, I think you’ve had a big adventure today already,” He offered, taking the chance to wipe a bit of leftover paint from Baekhyun’s collarbone while he was at it, looking him over quickly.

“Can.. alpha wash please.”

“Yes. Of course, alpha will clean you up really fast,” He agreed quickly, instantly grabbing a rag off the counter to his right and grabbing the soap, “I know my baby doesn’t like to skip. That’s why my mate smells like candy, hm? Because he’s very very picky about bath time and shower time.”

Months ago he felt almost.. like he was taking care of a toddler because Baekhyun didn’t even seem to have any want to clean himself off, screeching when Chanyeol tried to give him opportunities to clean himself such as leaving the room.

Now he knew those were stupid ideas because all Baekhyun really wanted was to be taken care of.

Even if he sometimes couldn’t handle it.

But, ever since they’d gotten into a routine, Baekhyun lost his mind when Chanyeol forgot or switched it up.

It reminded him of when Baekhyun used to get the mail, it was something for him to do, something that he had to look forward to every single day.

His poor baby just wanted things to stick together, to make sense to him, and whatever he thought helped Baekhyun he did.

“That’s right, sweet mate, love you so much,” Chanyeol praised, lathering up Baekhyun’s arms and smiling when the omega lifted a leg out of the water for the same treatment. “And what else? Hm?”

“And kiss.” He heard Baekhyun whisper.

“Alpha almost forgot a kiss?” He gawked, leaning over to press a kiss to Baekhyun’s damp shoulder, “Always soft kisses to my baby’s skin. Right?”

“Right.” The omega replied firmly, voice slightly pouting.

At least he was doing more than just sitting blank faced, and that meant more than everything to Chanyeol who rinsed his leg and pressed a kiss to his knee too, repeating and repeating.

Baekhyun was very clean, he always was an extremely clean omega, used to blabber to Chanyeol all about how his mom was a very strict woman so he was used to it.

But his definition of clean was very different these days than before.

Before it was more of five minute showers and Baekhyun popping out soaking wet and dripping it all over the place with a dramatic, “Ta-da!”

Now Baekhyun could probably spend hours in the water and still never feel clean enough, so Chanyeol did the same thing every single day, the same routine and the same praises because they seemed to be getting through to him and even just the tiniest bit was enough encouragement to continue.

“Here you go, baby,” Except on days he was worried Baekhyun might panic, that he’d cause an entire new set of tears to fall. He set the wash cloth down in Baekhyun’s lap and pet over his chest softly, wiping away a few soap bubbles. “I know you woke up with a lot going on, so I think it’s best you clean yourself today.”

Baekhyun didn’t seem to like that today though, nose scrunching and whimpering, shoving the cloth back towards Chanyeol, “Alpha do it.”

“I don’t.. I don’t want to scare you, baby. Maybe you sh-“

“Nightmare… about hitting, that’s it.” Baekhyun blurted, eyes twinkling with tears, “Promise. Want you to do it.”

Chanyeol sighed because he much preferred there to be no nightmares at all - but he supposed hitting was much better than the worst of his fears.

“Okay. You know how we do this, okay?” Chanyeol soothed, propping Baekhyun’s chin up with one hand and the other grabbing the cloth.

“Look at alpha.” Baekhyun mumbled, leaning over so his nose bumped the alphas fingers, “Just my mate. Tell you if I’m scared. But I want you to do it, Chan. Feels… feel better, you still want me. Take care of me, alpha.”

“Oh, baby,” He sighed because it felt like something Baekhyun before all of this would have reasoned too.

It wasn’t like they were doing something sexual - definitely and completely not - but it was important, very important because Chanyeol very much wanted Baekhyun still, only he wanted him to feel protected first.

If, on the very, very rare chance they did anything, he’d make sure Baekhyun felt protected and consenting the entire time.

If such a thing was possible, Chanyeol knew it’d be years from now.

But, it was still a big deal for Baekhyun to know he’d still love him, with or without physical touch, with or without sex. Because Baekhyun had always been big on physical affection too.

Chanyeol had said it once, and he’d say it again, he waited what felt like forever to have sex with Baekhyun, and again just to claim him - he could go a lifetime just loving him with kisses and hugs.

He didn’t need sex, but it was important to reiterate he still was interested because otherwise Baekhyun deemed himself filthy - and in no context was that okay.

Plus, it said a lot for him to take care of Baekhyun’s reproductive parts, regardless that… the omega couldn’t reproduce.

Chanyeol hated to be glad and relieved of that fact. But, especially now, it was a huge relief. He couldn’t imagine what could have happened if…

He stopped his thoughts short.

“Love you, baby,” Chanyeol cooed, making sure Baekhyun was keeping eyes on him as he reached under the water to clean his inner thighs with the soft cloth, “What are you going to paint me next? How about aliens since my smart boy learned so much about them?”

Baekhyun laughed then, drenching his shirt in water when he grabbed it, and Chanyeol took his distraction to do a quick scrub between his legs, cooing all the while, “What’s so funny? Huh! Making fun of me!”

“We don’t know about aliens yet! Silly, it’s all just not facts!”

Chanyeol snorted mostly because Baekhyun was giggling so much, hand over his mouth and muffling the laughter. “Ah, so rude to your mate! Get that bottom out and tell me all you know about them!” He growled softly, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun’s ear.

~~~~~~

“No, no, sh, it’s going to be okay,” Chanyeol crooned, backtracking to hold Baekhyun’s head to his chest, “Sh. No. I’m right here and nothings going to hurt you.”

He felt Baekhyun’s heart racing against his chest and knelt down, grabbing his hands, “Right? I'd never let anything hurt you. Do you believe me?”

Baekhyun gave a shaky, but instant nod, squeezing his fingers around Chanyeol’s.

“That’s my angel,” Chanyeol cooed, pressing kisses to his fingers, “Now you don’t have to do anything at all, even just standing in the doorway is completely fine. I just wanted to show you something, I don’t know if you remember.”

“But you never have to, ever, we can just read book-“

“Okay.” Baekhyun rushed out.

Chanyeol looked at him hesitantly, because he could see how fast his chest was rising and falling. “No, actually, I think this was enough for to-“ He turned to shut the back door with one hand but Baekhyun threw a hand out towards his arm, grabbing his sleeve.

“I-Just be with me?”

“Shush, angel, you don’t have to,” The alpha sighed, pressing a kiss to his brow and another to his cheek, “Just thought you could use some air.”

Baekhyun ignored him and before Chanyeol could react the omega was rushing around him and right outside onto the back patio.

He couldn’t exactly reach out to stop him, knew by now grabbing him without his knowledge was even more concerning than just letting him go.

But he could see the moment Baekhyun realized he made a mistake, watching the omegas back rise and fall at frightening speeds, hands beginning to shake and knew Baekhyun was pushing himself too hard -  
Probably because Chanyeol had suggested he come out here for a minute anyways.

The alpha really was just trying to help.

But Baekhyun’s knees wobbled the smallest bit and he ran, ran out the back door the few feet Baekhyun went to drop to his knees, hand grabbing the omegas cheeks and pressing their foreheads together.

“Breathe, breathe. Hey, we’re breathing now. I’m right here, I’m here, sh. Sh. I’m here with you.”

Baekhyun's fingers came to wrap around his wrists, knees buckling and Chanyeol swiftly was pulling him into his arms and under his chin, taking a seat on the patio and blocking the sun from the omegas eyes with his palm, “I’m here. I’m here and I’m not leaving you alone. It’s too much, it’s too much and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, beautiful. I was wrong.”

He couldn’t even focus enough to see if Baekhyun's breath was mellowing out, because his own panic was strong too.

He was a stupid fucking alpha, and it didn’t matter if his intentions were good - Baekhyun wasn’t fucking ready and he gave him the impression he needed to be.

What a fucking stupid idea when his mate hadn’t even touched the back door knob at all, didn’t even peek through the black curtain that hung over the doors window.

Chanyeol was near tears too, because he felt so stupid, “Baby, look, look. You see that tree? See it? You fell once and alpha caught you remember?”

He patted along Baekhyun's thigh as he spoke, other hand rubbing between his shoulder blades, “Baby nearly broke an arm, remember? Nearly gave me a heart attack, my love.”

The alpha sighed sitting back to check on Baekhyun, running his fingers through the smallers hair to push it out of his face.

He was surprised though, because even though his eyes were slightly red from panicking, Baekhyun was just looking where he had been referring to, mouth slightly parted.

Chanyeol smiled, feeling his own chest start mellowing out, pressing lips to Baekhyun's ear, “You remember? So long ago, baby, very long time ago.”

Baekhyun must have remembered because what came out of his mouth was a squeak before a second, more distinguishable excited noise as he turned to grab Chanyeol's face, pressing their noses together.

The alpha laughed against his mouth, combing his hair and smiling even wider when Baekhyun scrunched his face up with a squeal. “Yeah? Knew you’d like it. My pretty mate, so cute. Knew you’d like it. Can you hear the birds too? All the birds and the butterflies out here, you loved it so much.”

He didn’t say a thing or bother pointing out the garden that was long overgrown on the side because he wasn’t sure Baekhyun would be upset to know he hadn’t taken care of it while he was… missing.

Back then the least of his worries was picking tomatoes.

Baekhyun turned around to sit sideways in his lap, bunching his fingers up into Chanyeol's shirt like he was making complete sure the alpha wasn’t leaving.

“Used to play out here so much, but now your paintings on the cement got all washed away,” Chanyeol whispered into his ear, “That’s okay, because you’re a busy bee and have many other things to do inside. Just thought you’d like to… see some green for once.”

It was a lot and Chanyeol was sure Baekhyun wasn’t going to want to be out here all that much, but he was hoping at least some fresh air would do him some good, give color back of his skin, even if it meant he’d have to sit out here in the heat too, sweating his ass off and doing paperwork to keep an eye on the omega.

They had cameras out here, so he wasn’t really all that concerned, but Baekhyun wasn’t ready to be outside alone.

Then again, he also thought Baekhyun wouldn’t take a step out here at all.

“Alpha?”

Baekhyun sounded so excited Chanyeol beamed and could feel the excited shaking from his mate, “Yes, angel.”

“Can- can we go pick those peaches?”

“You can have all the peaches you want, baby, all of them in the entire world!” He swooned, pecking the back of Baekhyun's neck.

The omega did end up having peaches, the evidence smeared all over his cheeks hours later as he snuggled up to Chanyeol's ribs with a tired, but happy grin.

The slight sunburn was worth it too, even if he’d have a whining mate on his hands the next few days.


	28. It might seem like I'm just fine but I can’t eat, I barely sleep

“I love you, do you know that?”

It seemed such a random thing to say.

Such a love struck and random thing to say as they laid in bed, Chanyeol resting his forehead on Baekhyun's thigh and running his hands over his smooth skin.

The omega was very busy watching the movie that was on, the same movie they put on every single night to go to bed about the cosmos.

It helped Baekhyun relax, something about the universe always seemed to help him do so, to let him dream.

And if there was anything in the world Chanyeol wanted - it was to let Baekhyun dream again.

Baekhyun's lips were parted as his eyes watched the colors flash on the scream, so much so that Chanyeol could see the gummy candy peeking from the corner of his mouth.

Cute.

Baekhyun had seen this movie over a million times by now, they watched it every single night in bed, often restarting it until he could make sure his omega was sleeping peacefully.

And even then, he didn’t turn it off because he’s learned Baekhyun needed the light, that he really didn’t like to be in the dark for longer than needed.

Chanyeol resonated with that thought too, because the silent darkness gave too much time to think, to feel pain.

As insane as it sounded, thinking too much was the absolute last thing they needed Baekhyun to be doing.

He didn’t get a response from the omega, hadn’t really been expecting one because when Baekhyun focused he was focused, that hadn’t changed.

So he pressed his nose into the side of Baekhyun's outer thigh instead, pressing a silent kiss to his bare leg and wrapping his hand along the inside of his knee, thumb soothing over his skin.

“Pretty baby,” He mused, trailing fingers to pull down Baekhyun's pajama shorts a tiny bit more over his legs despite the omega whining that he didn’t want to wear clothes at all.

Baekhyun needed to, and it was mostly for Chanyeol's sanity, because thoughts drifted when given the opportunity- not sexual thoughts - but just having to be reminded others had touched the same skin he was.

That they’d bruised and tortured his omega.

It didn’t matter to him that the others had taken care of it, that all who were responsible had been killed on sight.

Chanyeol still wished he’d had the chance to cut fingers off, to remove tongues and order them to beg.

A cruel thought was maybe he’d do far worse, maybe he’d leave them freezing, let them starve to death, cut off their… prized possession and just let them bleed.

Because they’d never know how badly they’d ruined such a sweet omega, they’d never know nor feel any guilt for their actions - no regret for raping, tormenting, and beating his mate.

And that, that was even worse than his cruel thoughts - in his own opinion.

But he also never was an alpha that took things for granted, he never was emotionless and instinctively inclined to take what his primal thoughts said to.

That still didn’t excuse those alphas behavior, nothing ever could, nothing ever would, and Chanyeol swore - swore that if he ever got back on the streets again, if he ever had to leave the house for any reason, if he ever saw such harassment of an omega he’d lose his mind.

Of course before all of this he did what he could to help.

But there had been times he turned a blind eye. Like at those parties where gangs would bring drugged omegas, they seemed willing, but Chanyeol wasn’t so sure now.

That could have been Baekhyun - would have been had they drugged him up, made him dependent.

And still, even drugged up and seemingly ready to do anything for another hit, he knew Baekhyun would never voluntarily sell himself for anything.

He had once told Baekhyun they couldn’t save every omega, that they needed to focus on themselves. And it was true, it still applied because Chanyeol was selfish and wouldn’t trade Baekhyun to save a thousand omegas lives.

But he understood why his mate had been so upset by the truth back then.

And Chanyeol wished he could have comforted him better back then.

“Alpha…”

He looked up and smiled softly at the yawn he was greeted with and the grabby hands reached towards him, puffy eyes filled with sleepiness, “Movie stopped.”

“Ah, I see,” Chanyeol muttered, sitting up to grab the remote on his side table before opening his arms.

Baekhyun snuggled into his side instantly, clutching his sleep shirt and nuzzling into his neck, eyeing the television to make sure his movie was being restarted.

Chanyeol wondered if he could recite it word for word by now, because he too could remember a good chunk of the beginning with it's cheesy, ‘People are mere small specks in the expanse of the universe….’

Maybe he’d learn it just to tease his mate.

He was sure Baekhyun would really, really like that.

“You have anything good you want to tell me about today?” Chanyeol asked, kissing Baekhyun's head as he pulled the blanket over the omegas back. “One good thing, one bad thing? Or lots of good things, no bad? Lots of bad and no good?”

Today had been a good time though, so he would be very surprised if Baekhyun had all bad things today.

But, it had happened before where Baekhyun pretended to be happy the entire day before telling him he didn’t feel good when sleepy.

Chanyeol still to this day wasn’t sure what Baekhyun's definition of not feeling good was because he never elaborated, and he never really wanted to talk more than what little he offered up.

“Um…” Baekhyun yawned into his neck again, releasing a heavy breath complete with a smack of his lips and Chanyeol cooed, patting at his lower back softly. “Good… lots of playing today.”

“That’s right, we did lots of playing today,” He agreed, pressing praising kisses to the omegas hair, “We played so much my baby is worn out.”

Baekhyun humphed in agreement, stretching his legs out and tangling his feet with Chanyeol's ankles, “And… stayed outside ten minutes.”

Chanyeol hummed, smiling into his forehead.

“And… only one tear. Just a little tiny bit scary,” Baekhyun said, lifting his finger to show just how little tiny he had been panicked to Chanyeol's face.

The alpha wanted to sigh, but instead pressed a kiss to his fingers and scratched the back of his neck gently, curling his arm around Baekhyun's neck protectively, “That’s a good thing. I know the neighbors dog must have scared you too much, it was very loud in their backyard and scared alpha too.”

It had crossed his mind at one point to maybe get Baekhyun a pet, he’d heard it helped with anxiety, that maybe he’d feel a little safer when Chanyeol left the rooms or went to clean up.

But, they couldn’t.

Baekhyun wasn’t in any state to take care of anything - not even himself - and unfortunately, and Chanyeol was very reluctant to admit so, but the omega did have violent incidents.

Completely accidental, but he’d broken a number of things and had hit and given the lightest of bruises to the alpha when really upset.

It could be much, much worse, Baekhyun could be snapping teeth and trying to claw his eyes out, because Chanyeol would probably let him, just let him get his frustrations out because he needed to.

But if he had an incident and hurt a pet he knew Baekhyun's heart would break and Chanyeol could already picture him crying and asking where their kitty had gone.

Yeah. No. If he could already picture having to give the pet away then they weren’t fit to take care of the animal.

A huge shame when Baekhyun absolutely loved animals, and Chanyeol would die of fondness just to see him hold a puppy up to his nose and knew the omega would be inseparable from the pet, would have someone to play with all the time.

He’d only ever seen it once when they’d stepped into a pet store years before, and Baekhyun had been all over the kittens before a worker rather rudely said omegas weren’t allowed to play with the animals up for adoption.

Chanyeol was sure his look said it all because the worker didn’t approach them the rest of the hour they’d been there - not even when Chanyeol unlocked the cage and Baekhyun had snatched a kitten out to hold.

He should have just gotten the poor meowing cat then, because Baekhyun looked in love, but the omega never asked for it, and Chanyeol never suggested it.

He had a lot of regrets now, but back then who was he to have known things would turn out this way?

Chanyeol should have gotten all the kittens Baekhyun wanted.

He should have bought him that extra dozen cookies when they were out.

He should have asked what jewelry Baekhyun liked before just buying ones he thought looked nicest on the omega.

Fuck. Chanyeol should have been home more often, never leaving his mate alone so much, sitting inside and bored.

Perhaps something as small as these things could have protected him.

Maybe even if the weather had been a little stormier that day it’d had swayed Baekhyun not to step out.

Maybe if he’d have left a note reminding the omega.

Maybe if he had made sure to leave cooked food for him it’d had kept Baekhyun busy enough to just stay home.

Life was unfair, but Chanyeol had no room to try and imagine things were different.

“So loud!” Baekhyun huffed into his collar, tone letting him know how irritated he was, “Very mean, just wanted to see my squirrel.”

Chanyeol snorted in his hair, rubbing his thumb over the corner of Baekhyun's shut eye, and internally hoping the omega really wouldn’t get attached to the squirrel he swore he spotted out in the peach tree in their backyard.

But he couldn’t point it out because it gave his mate a reason to want to look outside, to sit outside for a small while holding Chanyeol's fingers tightly.

“Your squirrel probably went home to be with his family, sweet baby.” Chanyeol murmured, lips brushing his hair, “He had places to be.”

“He had to go home?”

“I’m sure he did.” The alpha whispered, petting his hair, “Everyone has to go home at some point, right? If not then… then we just get so sad. Scared. It’s not very fun at all to be out in the world by yourself.”

Baekhyun's eyes peeled open, fingers moving to wrap around the side of Chanyeol's neck, rubbing his fingers back and forth in what seemed a frantic motion, but the alpha knew it was just because when he was tired he was adorably unaware of his little movements, “Scary.”

“Yeah? It’s okay. I think he’s okay now. Don’t you think so? I think he probably is eating all the foods he likes and more. Running around with his little squirrel family.”

“You think… do you think he got hurt?”

Chanyeol released a soft sigh, resting his nose against Baekhyun's and kissing the corner of his lips, taking his time to think over his response.

Everyone got hurt eventually, he wanted to say.

Everyone experienced pain at one point or another.

But neither of those sounded right.

“I think,” Chanyeol whispered, locking eyes with the omegas’ curious and tired ones, “I think if he got hurt that it’s not going to be forever, he’s going to get fixed and be just fine. What do you think?”

Baekhyun took an even longer time to reply.

“I… think he had an accident…”

Chanyeol's face dropped, but he continued to run encouraging fingers through Baekhyun's hair.

The omega paused though, sitting up to crawl up his lap and throw himself down around his chest, “... think he’ll be okay though. If you’re there.”

Chanyeol never denied Baekhyun affected him greatly, so all he could do was sniff into the omegas cheek, arms embracing him tightly and kissing his skin, “Think h-you’ll be fine too, baby. Don’t worry.”


	29. And it hurts to know just how lovely you are

This felt different. 

Chanyeol really had never seen this coming.

He was a hundred percent positive that the reason this was happening was because his mate was _extra_ snuggly today.

He hadn’t had time to decide if Baekhyun was in a good or bad mood yet anyway, so only time would tell.

“Alpha?”

“Yes, baby!” Chanyeol cooed back, words muffled by the shower stream as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.

He didn’t hear a response immediately, and twisted to peek out of the curtain to see Baekhyun lying on his stomach, feet kicking behind him, but instead of continuing to play on his phone he was looking at the curtains.

Chanyeol knew they were see through, one of the reasons he _didn’t_ think it was a good idea when Baekhyun refused to release him.

_Wanna play with alpha all day!_

_Don’t want you to put me down!_

_No! Be close with my mate!_

“Angel?” He whispered, swiping the water out of his face, “The door is opened and you can always leave.” 

Surprisingly, Baekhyun didn’t seem scared.

That was a huge shocker, even if his mate had recently been okay with snuggling into his chest if it was bare, he still never _ever_ was seen without pants on or nude in general.

Which was a huge feat considering Baekhyun stuck to him like glue.

Instead, his mate giggled and pressed a hand to his mouth, eye smiling as he twisted to sit back on his knees and put arms up, “Want _alpha.”_

 _“No.”_ It was a knee jerk reaction, he was naked and half the time he wasn’t sure if his omega was even _aware_ of his surroundings.

Chanyeol sighed and shook his head when Baekhyun’s face turned into one of pure devastation. “I- I just mean not _now,_ okay, baby? Of course I want to cuddle, but I’ll be out in one minute-“

“Want in.” Baekhyun whimpered, throwing himself at the pile of clean towels on a stool and squeezing them to his chest, digging his face into them until only his eyes were visible, “Alpha _now.”_ He sobbed dryly.

What the _fuck_ was he supposed to do? Say no?

“Okay, sh, don’t cry - baby, please don’t cry, you’ve been so happy today,” Chanyeol sighed, twisting the shower handle to _bath_ and climbing down to his knees before even _considering_ throwing the curtain open. “Come on, honey, come here, pretty baby.” 

Baekhyun was still watery eyed as he got up to come towards the tub, pressing his chin down on his chest and putting arms up.

“We aren’t touching.” The alpha began, helping his mate out of his top, “Tell me, baby. No touching, no grabbing, Baekhyun keeps his hands to himself and _Chanyeol_ keeps his hands to himself. Bath time _only.”_

 _“Bath only,”_ The omega agreed, fiddling with his fingers and eyes blown huge as he stepped out of his shorts, hands instantly going for Chanyeol’s wet shoulders as he climbed in.

Even though he didn’t agree with this - even if Baekhyun was adamant about sharing a bath - he still smiled when his mate sat opposite him, putting his feet all up in Chanyeol's space like the needy omega he was.

It reminded him of the past where Baekhyun would splash him until there was water all over the floor, and _admittedly_ it would turn into something more about 75% of the time even if Chanyeol had innocent intentions.

Baekhyun used to not though, he used to be aggressive about getting _loved_ when he wanted to get loved and the tub was no boundary to getting what he wanted.

The other 25% of the time though, was spent just like this, massaging over his mates ankles as Baekhyun messed with the water temperature.

“Do you want your hair up?” Chanyeol cooed softly, “Can you even _see,_ baby? Silly.” 

Baekhyun giggled and pulled his shoulders to his ears with his laugh, contemplating before shaking his head. “No thank you.” 

“Whatever you want, beautiful.” 

And it was _just_ that easy. 

So easy that Chanyeol wished everyday could be _just_ this easy.

That Baekhyun wouldn’t have to feel afraid in his own home, that his mate had _nothing_ to worry about and could paint endlessly into the night.

He wished everything could be just as easy and simple as Baekhyun’s love for art, something that gave him an outlet to express himself because he no longer had many words to explain himself these days.

Even if Baekhyun had an entire _dictionary_ of them when Chanyeol pissed him off in the past.

This Baekhyun just didn’t really get mad though, so Chanyeol truthfully had no idea how long his mate's dictionary was when more than half of it was just _alpha, Chanyeol,_ and _please no._

A giggle made Chanyeol look up from lathering Baekhyun’s calf, a teasing laugh. 

His mate had a hand pressed over his mouth, cheeks pink and the ends of his hair damp and curling towards his face, _“You think I’m pretty.”_ The omega accused, nose scrunching up.

Chanyeol could have bursted into sobs on the _spot._ He could have turned to wail into the side of the porcelain.

But, he wouldn’t be as slow as he was last time Baekhyun had said this _exact_ thing to him. 

_“The prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”_ He said instantly, not a moment to waste even though he felt his lip tremble. All he did was bite it to keep his expressions from failing him right now - last thing he needed was _two_ people sobbing in the tub.

“I think you’re pretty _too.”_

Chanyeol snorted but it was a mix of a cry covered by a chuckle, he was mostly relieved it wasn’t, _“I think you’re nice looking too.”_ Or he'd have lost his composure on the spot.

“Is that so? I’m pretty? No way, you’re the prettiest,” He laughed and also didn’t want Baekhyun staring at him so much seeing as he felt his face bordering on turning into a pained look.

To fix that, Chanyeol reached over in offering, “Closer? Are you okay coming closer?” 

Baekhyun beamed like the happy omega he seemed to be _today,_ laughing toothily and scooting over to come between his legs.

Chanyeol had only meant for Baekhyun to lay on his side, but his mate went right for it - pressing himself between his legs to lean back to his chest, curling Chanyeol’s arms around his stomach himself.

The alpha laughed wetly and kissed the back of his neck as he squeezed the softness of his mates waist. 

From this angle, Baekhyun had no view of the tears Chanyeol felt kissing the corner of his mouth. 

“Alpha?”

“Y-Yes. Yes, beautiful. I’m listening, honey.” He crooned, pecking small areas of Baekhyun’s shoulders as he nuzzled the back of his head. “Go ahead, cuddle bug.” 

“Was it nice? Before? Since you think I’m pretty?” 

Chanyeol laughed, licking his lips in thought because he knew what Baekhyun was referring to even if he’d prefer not to talk about it.

Who was he to _not_ let Baekhyun know what he wants to?

“Of course. But, not because you’re beautiful,” He grinned and pressed his cheek to the omegas shoulder, feeling the water swirling from his mate messing around. “Just because I love you, and when we made love it was very obvious how much we loved each other. That’s why it was nice, but not everything relies on… intimacy, I love you perfectly fine just _looking_ at you.” 

“You… don’t want to?” Baekhyun asked curiously, his voice somewhat far like he wasn’t quite paying attention.

Honestly, the alpha should have known it was his mate _searching_ for something, not just innocently wanting to be naked with him.

But, Baekhyun was learning not to try and mate with him out of the blue, so him not having a concerning episode right now was way more than Chanyeol could ask for.

“It’s not that I don’t want you,” He swallowed the bubble in his throat and leaned back to begin massaging Baekhyun’s scalp, “It’s that I want _you_ to want to.” 

“But… but, you tell me no.” 

Chanyeol sighed, “Because it’s not _you._ I want you and nothing else, and I want you to want me to make love to you because you _are ready._

Do you remember how long we waited? A year to even do _anything_ like that, Baekhyun. I know… that you _want_ to remember - go-god knows _I_ want you to remember better things about… intimacy. But, the truth is you’re not ready, _I’m_ not ready. I know that upsets you, it makes you mad and you don’t know _why_ you’re so mad, but even if you’re very upset with me because I won’t mate with you I _just_ won’t do it for a long while.” 

“And..” Baekhyun pursed his lips and leaned over to turn off the water, leaning into the hand on his hair with a soft noise. “When do you think I’m ready, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol had never had to think of an answer to this question before.

This was the most separated Baekhyun had been since the events, the most _adult,_ he understood it frightened his mate to have to think maturely, thus he instead retreated into nothing but hugs and giggles.

Even if Chanyeol could see that they were fake sometimes, he never pointed it out.

Chanyeol was always scared Baekhyun’s mind was somewhat like a dam - a big enough crack and there was no coming back from the flooding that would occur. 

“When you’re ready, you’ll know,” He whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the wet skin of his shoulder, “In the meantime, we can just be like this - kisses, hugs, and _all_ the love in the world for you.” 

“I do like that.” 

Chanyeol chuckled as he pulled a hand off of Baekhyun to wipe his eyes, clearing his throat because he was afraid it would crack the next he spoke and give him away. “I know, my crazy little mate, that’s why you get them _all_ the time.” 

“Not all the time,” Baekhyun argued, a soft tone as he twisted to look at him with a very fake pout, “Sometimes alpha is _busy_ and if I interrupt, I’ll feel very bad.” 

“Busy?” Chanyeol snickered and cupped his cheek to lean over and press a kiss to his bottom lip, laughing and stroking his face, “What a little fibber! You know you’re welcome to me _all_ the time - day and night, morning or midnight! All day, everyday!”

“You forgot to say afternoon time.” 

Chanyeol burst into laughter and yanked Baekhyun under his chin when his mate began to giggle at himself.

At least being in water would be a good cover for the tears he was dripping into Baekhyun’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized they never really discussed this, and I really thought they needed to.
> 
> And, I really think you guys should see the more adult side of Baekhyun, and know that Chanyeol also notices when he is being more childish versus mature


	30. And I'll give you everything if it's the last thing that I do

“... yeah.”

_“Yeah? We should FaceTime sometime, Baek, we want to see that pretty face again.”_

Baekhyun pressed his lips together, leaning over his pile of blankets and giving a nod before remembering he was only on Chanyeol's phone and Kyungsoo couldn’t see him. “... have… maybe… uh- Chanyeol…”

 _“Of course you can have Chanyeol there, bunny,”_ He heard Yixing croon in the background, _“We… we’re just really happy to hear your voice, sweetie. Really, really surprised, you’re doing so well.”_

The omega did like to hear that, pulling his blanket up to his nose and leaning back against the headboard, giggling.

He hadn’t planned for today to go like this at all.

Baekhyun clearly remembered eating lunch and his mate carrying him up the stairs for a nap when his eyes looked heavy.

He did get a small nap in, just a very short one before he was woken up to the sound of Chanyeol's phone vibrating and he just.. wanted to make his mate very proud of him.

To see the wide, star stuck looking grin Chanyeol had when Baekhyun had ran out back to grab his paintbrush he had forgotten outside the night before.

All by himself.

It had been less than ten seconds and Baekhyun came back in panting as if he had run an entire mile, but Chanyeol was coddling him instantly and whispering praise into his skin.

It just felt good when Chanyeol smiled.

“Ch-Chan bought me uh… um… new phone because there was an accident,” Baekhyun bubbled, rubbing his toes together against the mattress, “It’s okay, I said sorry for it.”

 _“I’m sure it’s really okay,”_ Luhan agreed, and Baekhyun could hear Zitao hissing something in the background.

As long as it wasn’t any of the alphas, Baekhyun didn’t feel his hair standing on edge. And he couldn’t smell anything that made him want to cry.

_“I’m sure your accidents aren’t a big deal and Chanyeol doesn’t mind them at all.”_

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how true that was because sometimes he had big accidents.

Sometimes his mate had such devastated looks on his face and looked like he’d been shot.

It was all his fault because he scratched him or broke something very expensive, because he lost his temper and felt his body was on fire.

Because he kicked and wailed and hurt Chanyeol sometimes too, and his mate always held him until he could calm down, but by then it was usually when Baekhyun had gone through a full out war with himself and left the alphas arms torn up or shirt all stretched out crazily.

Chanyeol said it was okay. 

“Brok.. broke his computer yesterday, feel really bad.. I-I got angry it.. it wasn’t turning on…” And Baekhyun had just stared at himself in the reflection a little too long…

 _“We’ll buy him a new one,”_ Kyungsoo said instantly, _“Whatever kind you want us to, we’ll buy it and send it over with a big bow from you, even wrap it up and everything, Baekhyun.”_

Baekhyun gasped, feeling a lot better, “Can… the shiny black one? The one with a movie player, Chan likes to watch a lot of movies these days, a lot of doc… documentaries, boring.” 

_“Boring…”_ Yixing cooed, laughing albeit a bit awkwardly.

Because those documentaries were entirely important.

Because they were about psychology, about abuse victims, about treating and caring for loved ones.

About PTSD and anxiety.

It was best Baekhyun thought they were boring anyways, but if he knew Chanyeol was trying to learn he’d assume he was a big problem.

And he wasn’t the problem, of course not, but nobody could blame Chanyeol for wanting to do anything that could potentially make Baekhyun a little more comfortable.

_“Tell you what, honeybun, go tell your mate all about how good you were. So sweet, Baek, and we’re going to get someone to take us to the store right this second.”_

“Okay!” Baekhyun chirped, rolling out of bed at Zitao’s suggestion, “Okay! Bye bye!”

_“Hey, Baek?”_

He grinned at the phone, fingers hidden in his hoodie, “Yes!”

_“We really missed your voice, and you’re doing very well.”_

Baekhyun beamed at Yixings words, mostly because he liked praise a lot, “Can’t wait to play!”

The group laughed into the phone, but they all knew that the chances of that were low, very much so.

They lived with a bunch of alphas after all.

Baekhyun positively lit up as he scurried down the hall, looking in every single room as he ran by. 

“Chan! Chanyeol! Big news!” 

He didn’t hear his mate respond and pouted his lips when he saw the study door shut, shifting back and forth on his feet as he knocked, “Alpha, in please!” 

It wasn’t very nice to shut doors, Baekhyun pouted, itching his arm uncomfortably.

“Alpha?” 

Chanyeol didn’t respond so Baekhyun nervously pushed it open, peeking his head through because maybe his mate was doing important business and that’s why the door was shut.

Or! Baekhyun giggled, Chanyeol had thought he’d been sleeping a little longer!

It must have been, because his mate didn’t ever shut doors on him anymore, every door in the house was open at all times unless Baekhyun chose otherwise. 

“Alpha, alpha, alpha!” He cooed as he jumped in, “I’m up!” 

He expected Chanyeol to jump at him instantly with a hug, a few kisses, but he didn’t.

What he was greeted with was the alphas form sitting on the floor in front of the leather couch, facing towards the door and a bunch of bottles at his feet, looking down into his pulled up knees.

Baekhyun's shoulders tightened up, because it smelled like alcohol so badly it stung his nose.

And, Chanyeol's shoulders were shaking, he was sobbing silently and that much was obvious.

The omega had _never_ seen his mate cry with the exception of his arrival home.

“Chan…” 

He got no immediate response and scratched his chest harshly, nervously, walking towards the alpha. “Alpha? I-I’m scared.” He whimpered, fingers tugging on the bottom of his top.

Chanyeol’s head snapped up instantly but there was a dazed, glossy look behind his tears and a smile spreading across his mouth, “S-S’okay.” He slurred, reaching a hand out for Baekhyun.

Baekhyun has seen Chanyeol drunk before, had seen the man be a mumbling mess and all drunken laughter.

But not in so long.

Not after so much had happened.

Now he was just afraid.

“B-Baby, my love,” Chanyeol sniffled, “Let.. m-me hold you, come. Please - please, Baekhyun!” 

Baekhyun jumped, startled at the sudden burst of tears and his heart was racing, telling him to just run away and leave the alpha to his own devices and hide under their bed. 

But that wasn’t fair at all, Chanyeol was in pain and he’d done nothing but take care of him everyday.

“Bae-“

“Okay.” He squeaked, walking over cautiously, nose twitching.

“Baby,” Chanyeol sighed in relief, grabbing the edge of the omegas shirt and pulling him down between his legs, “Baby. B-Baby.” 

Baekhyun found his shirt being covered in tears and his lip trembled, hands shaking as he too started tearing up.

He felt like an idiot not to see his alpha was suffering too, too caught up in trying to keep his own nightmares away to realize Chanyeol had his own that he needed help dealing with. 

That was so unfair.

“Alpha!” He cried, hands clenched into fists and curled under Chanyeol’s chin with a whimper, pressing so hard into the alphas chest the man grunted, but was quick to wrap both arms around him, pressing lips to his cheek.

“S’okay, got you. It’s okay.” 

Chanyeol stunk of alcohol, not the usual addicting scent he carried but of stinging alcohol and sorrow and it only made Baekhyun cry harder as he wrapped arms around the alphas waist and kicked his feet against the rug to try and get as close as humanly possible.

“My baby, sh sh.” The alpha attempted to coo, but it sounded tired, chin resting on Baekhyun’s shoulder with eyes closed, “You’re real and safe. Safe and here, with me. My baby, sh.” 

Except Baekhyun wasn’t the one upset, Chanyeol was.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun had managed, not easily at all, to convince Chanyeol back to bed.

Well, all he really had to do was say he was tired and the alpha had tried to go, but it ended up with Baekhyun struggling to help the large man there.

It was okay, because it was Chanyeol.

The man had slept for two hours and Baekhyun had picked up the bottles from his office because he didn’t like to see such things, especially not near Chanyeol.

Chanyeol _knew_ that.

So the look of horror on his face when he woke up wasn’t shocking.

“Baekhyun..” 

The omega _was_ angry with him, upset he’d done something so reckless because it terrified Baekhyun. 

Should this have happened a month before Baekhyun probably would have ran out the door screaming and crying, wailing and crawling into hiding places.

“Baek. Baby, I’m sorry,” Chanyeol sat up against the headboard, rubbing his forehead slightly, but watching Baekhyun play on a tablet on the floor. “Baekhyun, let’s talk-“

“You smell.” The omega scrunched his nose up and sent only a momentary glance up at him, “Stink like bad guys, alpha.” 

Chanyeol flinched horribly, nearly whimpering despite Baekhyun not even looking at him anymore. “Baby, I’m not them, okay? Alpha made a big mistake, come here and give me a hug and I’ll tell you all about it. I just want a hug, I’m sorry, Baekhyun. You must have been so afraid.” 

“Okay.” Baekhyun chirped, seemingly not really paying much attention at all, dropping his game to climb into bed.

The only thing the alpha felt was relief because he’d rather have Baekhyun not really care than care too much.

“Come on, my pretty baby,” He rumbled, reaching down towards the end of the bed to pull the omega to his chest, petting his back.

Baekhyun pulled his nose from his shirt with a disgusted face, _“Stinky_ , alpha.” 

Any other time such an expression would be adorable, but it didn’t feel very good right now.

Chanyeol sighed, “I know. Let’s talk for a minute and I’ll go shower.” 

“Okay, alpha,” The omega beamed for one second before laying back down, arms attempting to worm between Chanyeol's back and the mattress.

“Sweet boy,” Chanyeol praised, wanting to press a kiss to his mates lips, but given the sour and sting in his mouth - that wasn’t a good idea at all. “Alpha was very depressed while you were.. away, baby boy, very, very sad and angry - do you know why?” 

Baekhyun pouted his lips because he didn’t like the sound of that at all, “Why?” 

“Because I love you so much,” Chanyeol cooed, combing through Baekhyun’s mess of hair, “So. So much.” 

_“Love you, alpha!”_

Chanyeol laughed at the screech and Baekhyun’s puffy cheeked excitement, and knew the omega was waiting for a kiss, but it hurt his chest.

“I love you so much, Baekhyun, that it- I wasn’t, couldn't, not be with you. You probably don’t know what I’m saying or talking about, but I _had_ to be with you, you have to stay in my sight. In my arms. Baekhyun, baby, I need to be able to smell you, feel you. I wonder… Are you even _real?_ And then.. I just know.. you have to be be-because before I didn’t see you.. like this, different.

You had looked like.. like years ago, when we’d just met with that same bounce in your step and tease in smile. Sweet and beautiful, and I think that’s why I saw you like that, because… I’d loved you even back then.

But, I love you all the time, no matter what version of _you_ that you are, with or without a smile. You don’t need to be that version for me to love you but… it was.. things were simpler back then, you know? And sometimes I just.. I want to _see_ it. And I only know one way how to.

Do you… you understand me?”

“No.” 

Chanyeol licked his lips with a chuckle, gently sliding the omega off of him and on the bed, “That’s okay. You don’t need to, I just love you, that's the moral of the story.” 

Baekhyun didn’t respond right away, just rolling around in the bed as Chanyeol walked over to get a change of clothes.

“Alpha?”

“Yes, baby,” 

“I just love you too!”

The alpha swallowed hard and looked over his shoulder and decided immediately that he was wrong.

Baekhyun still had the prettiest smile filled with wonder and nothing but the truth.

He didn’t need to search for someone that was right here.


	31. That in these conditions, tryin' to bring back the flame

Chanyeol nearly had a heart attack when he woke up this morning.

The bed had been empty and there was no sign of Baekhyun all over the house.

Until he heard quiet whistling coming through the backdoor and his entire body relaxed at the sight of the omega laying on his stomach in the sun surrounded by a bunch of paints and a canvas under his chin.

His skin was becoming more golden from playing out back, a light sheen to it that showed how healthy he was.

“Did you use sunscreen, beautiful?” 

Baekhyun’s head popped up instantly and his red mouth was pulling into an excited grin as he looked at Chanyeol, sitting back onto his knees and releasing a heart wrenching whimper with pink fingers up towards him. _“Alpha!”_

“Good morning,” Chanyeol beamed and launched forward to accept the omega before his eyes could even adjust to the bright sunlight this morning.

It wasn’t surprising to find Baekhyun out back, but this _was_ the first time he hadn’t gotten a warning before the smaller trailed outside.

He’d even gotten woken up before to wide eyes and an _alpha I’m going to play outside, okay?_

But never no warning at all - he was proud, but a part of him was highly concerned and wanted to scold Baekhyun.

If this was a step closer to recovery though, then he couldn’t possibly scold him. 

“You slept so _long,_ alpha! I was almost becoming worried! My poor alpha, are you sick? Oh no! You can’t be sick!” Baekhyun whined, grabbing his face and smearing paint all over his pajamas and skin, a dramatic expression on his face as he whimpered and searched Chanyeol's eyes. “My _mate,_ oh no!”

“Oh no!” Chanyeol mimicked softly, laughing and swinging Baekhyun up although his back protested at carrying the little monster around so early.

It didn’t matter how big Baekhyun grew - he always wanted to hold him and baby him like this; Baekhyun deserved as much, deserved all the softness in the world for putting up with him after everything.

“Oh no, my mate hasn’t had breakfast yet, my gremlin must be starving.” 

“Yup.” Baekhyun giggled, batting his lashes like crazy up at him and snuggling deep into his chest, “But now I’m too _dirty_ to help out! Look at this, alpha! So messy!” 

Chanyeol's hair stood up purely because Baekhyun didn’t say the word _dirty._ He didn’t say the word dirty, because the last he’d heard it was the omega breaking down and trying to scratch his skin off and it was a banned word.

It was hard to hear it and try to remember the context was _different_ and the omega now was referring to the paint clinging to his fingers rather than _painful memories._

“Easy to clean, pretty. Here you go,” He soothed, placing Baekhyun on the island beside the sink, “Clean up while alpha starts, hm?”

Baekhyun squealed a noise of agreement, getting to work with a kiss to his temple as Chanyeol turned around to grab a cutting board and potatoes. 

“Chanyeol, let's have a fun day today.” He heard the omega request over the loud sound of running water.

“Mhm? What would you like to do today, my love?” 

“Don’t know, what does alpha think?” 

Chanyeol laughed at his happy tone, mostly because it was just one of those days Baekhyun sounded absolutely elated to just be _here_ to have so many things and be with _him._

A good day.

“How about we watch movies?” 

Baekhyun ooed behind him making him laugh again, before hearing the omega messing more with the water and knowing he probably had a mess starting behind him. “Let- oh! Let’s close windows and make it like movies! But.. but not too dark!”

“Not too dark,” Chanyeol repeated, “Never too dark,” He promised, walking back over to the sink to wash his hands and rolling his eyes fondly at the bubbles on the counter from the soap and Baekhyun’s innocent and elated expression that he was looking at him again.

“Messy boy,” He chided softly, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun’s temple as he cleaned his hands.

 _“Your_ messy-“

“Aish!” Chanyeol cried playfully, “I don’t need to be reminded that you’re mine, baby! Who do you think I am, huh? You’re my messy mate, and I don’t need your _reminder!”_

Baekhyun burst into a fit of squirmy giggles, using his feet to wrap around Chanyeol's leg and pull him closer so he could hang on tight. 

“Silly.” 

“Alphas silly baby.” 

“That’s right, _Chanyeol's_ baby.” The alpha corrected softly, because he didn’t want the interpretation to become skewed.

Baekhyun tended to overthink sometimes, he’d think and think and analyze until words didn’t fit their context and the world seemed to be falling apart.

So, although Chanyeol was an alpha and in this context he was _alphas baby -_ he was _no_ any alphas baby. 

He was not _any_ alphas boy, nor omega, nor lover, nor _toy._

And he didn’t want that to be one of the things Baekhyun could get confused about, because never for a second had he ever been just any alphas _anything._

He was Chanyeol's everything, and he was never just a random alphas toy to play with.

Even when he _was,_ he _wasn’t._

Even when he _was_ being abused and tortured he _wasn’t_ anyone but Chanyeol's.

And that was part of the responsibility that the alpha had - to remind Baekhyun of these things even if he didn’t want to remember the abuse.

It would seem Baekhyun forgot sometimes, as if everything was normal and the omega seemed extra affectionate, extra long kisses he wanted and extra tight hugs.

Until he wanted the hugs to be tighter- _tighter alpha, can still breathe,_ he’d said once, and Chanyeol wouldn’t ever hug him so tight even if he burst into quivers and sobbed.

Because he wouldn’t be used just so Baekhyun could find a way to hurt himself, he wouldn’t squeeze him until he passed out if that’s what the omega had been going for - as if in a sick way Baekhyun was _comforted_ by such a thing, because he’d whined and told him to hold him tighter all with a pretty smile on his face.

Comforted by placing hands where he shouldn’t sometimes, by removing clothing inappropriately and doing - _saying_ things.

The ones that got Chanyeol were _always_ the repeating phrases, it was always the repetition of words and fear that Baekhyun did sometimes that shook him up.

Because _someone_ had burnt these into Baekhyun’s head, because someone had told him these things so often he looked visually fine to repeat them like he couldn’t forget them.

_Be quiet, quiet - sh, shut up! Shut up, too loud, be quiet!_

_Someone hit him harder! Harder, he can take it, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…_

_He likes it! Look at that! A whore, he likes it! Say something nice for your alphas bitch- say it- say-_

_“Alpha!”_ Baekhyun squealed suddenly, his heels hitting the cabinets as he swung them back and forth, “Why are you staring at those eggs, silly? Were they bad to you?” He laughed to himself, shoulders shaking from side to side.

Chanyeol frowned down at the egg smashed fully in his hand, grimacing and placing it back into the container and discretely wiping his hand on the rag by the stove, “Alpha was just thinking, baby. Or maybe I just need you over here to help me, huh?”

“Yeah!” The omega cried, hoping off the counter to do a quick dash over and climb onto the counter by the stove, putting his hands out, “Alpha needs my help, huh? Always wants me to help.” 

“Because you’re a big helper, puppy. Oh so smart.” Chanyeol added, passing over the eggs, a bowl, and fork. 

He really _was_ and Chanyeol knew Baekhyun didn’t fully understand how much help he was to him - just by being here, how helpful he was on his mental and physical health, because the omega really just liked praise and attention, and that wasn’t hard to give at all.

In fact, Chanyeol knew it took more effort to physically abuse someone rather than just _tell them_ something nice, a sweet compliment every once in a while.

He’d hurt plenty of people before and _knew_ that the effort for both of those things was different.

And one of them was rewarded a lot more with rectangular smiles and pouted lips for a kiss, soft laughter, excited bouncing, and puppy eyes.

“Do you-“ Baekhyun gasped so loud Chanyeol thought he'd somehow gotten hurt, but the omega just gasped again and continued whisking, “-alpha! We just _have_ to see the cats - did you know I saw one this morning? It said hello to me too, I think he likes me.” 

“No way.” Chanyeol snorted, “The neighbors cat said hello? Is it possible?”

“No _silly!”_ His omega squealed, “He meowed and it means _hello,_ you’re so funny, alpha!” 

Chanyeol hummed and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun’s hair as he went on a journey to gather more things simply because he wanted to kiss his mate and feel his soft skin under his lips. 

“Oh, _and!”_

“And what, little one?”

“And I seen their new pup! Have you seen? It’s so tiny.. like.. like this tiny…” Baekhyun placed his arms together in a cradle to rock them back and forth as if holding a baby. 

Chanyeol’s heart dropped. 

He swallowed hard and placed a bottle of milk onto the island before leaning over it to watch Baekhyun, but the omega didn’t seem upset at all, and he hated to burst his bubble.

But he had to.

Baekhyun never asked for a lot, he never asked for much more than attention and love, but this was how he began asking for animals too - for a cat just like their neighbor or a flying camera as he’d seen Sehun using as he looked out the window and the alpha _always_ brought it really close to the omega and Chanyeol knew it was more so Sehun could _see him_ for once rather than just because Baekhyun thought it was cool.

“Baby, you know we can’t have one of those, right?” 

He felt horrible, probably worse than when Baekhyun cried over a bad memory simply because he couldn’t hug him and fix it and call it a day and _bam,_ there’s their puppy.

He couldn’t give him a child.

“I know..” Baekhyun didn’t look all that sad, not as Chanyeol had expected as he shrugged and put his hands between his knees with pretty, sparkling eyes as he looked across at him, “I think… it’s good now.” 

It _was_ good, because Chanyeol had no idea what they’d have done if Baekhyun had become pregnant with his attacker's child.

It would’ve been too much - for both of them.

But he wasn’t going to verbally agree to that as Baekhyun might take his agreement as something else - as he didn’t want a child.

That was true, before.

Before all of this it was true, because Chanyeol never thought he’d be able to protect them, to make them understand why it was unsafe.

Now, things were different and maybe - if it were possible - he’d have wanted a child.

Months ago, he’d been scared of the idea of even getting Baekhyun a pet to take care of, but now he realized a pet and a child were _very_ different things.

_Very different._

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol whispered, coming around the counter to hug the omega to his chest even though he didn’t seem upset, “If possible, I’d have wanted your baby, what a cute child we’d have. And I want you to know that I was _wrong_ and I can protect a child _and_ you; even if the world is unsafe I would never let anything happen so long as I’m around.” 

The words felt foreign even though he’d promised as much before.

_But before they hadn’t been as determined._

“Okay..” Baekhyun mumbled, looking confused at the sudden words, but even if the omega always seemed to not understand his points, his watery eyes said he very much understood.

“Okay?” Chanyeol whispered, cupping his face in both hands, “And when you get better… or.. or.. how about we do some searching, and let’s find you something to make you happy, okay? I don’t want to be the only thing that makes you happy; so, if you want, let’s call some places and we can figure something out.” 

Baekhyun released a confused noise and clutched his top as tears began to fall from his eyes, “Baby?” 

If there was one thing Baekhyun had ever wanted it was to have his child, and while he wasn’t _healed_ and in no way was he _okay,_ Chanyeol was confident that something had to change.

Whether it be a pet or a new art set, a phone call with Jongin - things were going _well._

And Baekhyun would never hurt or scare a child.

“I don’t know for sure that we can find a baby, but alpha will figure it out,” Chanyeol mumbled.

Baekhyun moved his fingers to hold his stomach and released a heartbreaking, yet hopeful cry, _“My baby?”_

Chanyeol swallowed down his tears and nodded his head, hugging Baekhyun’s head to his chest, “Yeah. Okay, yes. I love you and we can find you a baby, my sweet boy. I love you, I love you and I’ll love our baby. Do you think that would be nice? It’s been a long road of recovery, but this is a big step, let’s talk some more after we calm down, okay, my pretty mate?” 

“Chanyeol! Want a baby!” Baekhyun cried into his shirt, nodding frantically.

Things hadn’t changed that much, because in the end that was always the topic that got to Baekhyun the most. 


	32. Extra: Wish I could find a place in me, see all the good things you see

There was a phone leaned up against a cup on the dresser, the screen showing the camera and mirroring the image of Baekhyun smiling wide.

His smile hit his eyes, and it didn’t falter even a bit.

Noticing that, Chanyeol grinned and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek, nuzzling for a moment into his temple.

_“Look at you, pumpkin.”_

Baekhyun laughed, the noise bubbling from his throat as Chanyeol wrapped around around his hips and held his back to his chest, “Hi!”

Junmyeon laughed on the screen, all of their pack squished into view on the other end.

“We wanted you guys to see something,” Chanyeol commented, palm rubbing Baekhyun’s stomach with a beam as he rested his chin to his mate's shoulder.

“Very important!” Baekhyun chirped, squirming with excitement and swaying back and forth.

 _“I’m sure it is, Baekhyun, but we just want to look at you for a minute,”_ Yifan said quickly, sighing a small bit.

Chanyeol frowned at that, but Baekhyun didn’t seem to understand the implication and just began laughing again, so much giddiness there wasn’t much to do but laugh.

The alpha understood though - this was the most Baekhyun was seen by them in such a long time - truthfully Chanyeol just snuck them many pictures of Baekhyun and sometimes texted them when the omega was lying near a window so they could see.

This felt like a huge step, but they could only handle so many new changes right now.

It all depended on Baekhyun and what he wanted.

_“Baekhyun looks pretty, has Chanyeol been feeding you well?”_

Chanyeol snorted at Jongin's question, but the teenager just looked _so_ excited to see Baekhyun.

Of course he and Baekhyun hadn’t really gotten off on the right foot since the omega came back, the only time being scaring the life out of Baekhyun.

It wasn’t his fault, nobody could have expected Baekhyun’s reactions.

“Yup! Alpha gives me lots and lots and-“ Baekhyun turned to wrap arms around Chanyeol's neck, standing on tiptoes to cuddle into his cheek, “- _lots_ of things!”

 _“And does that make you happy?”_ Yixing mumbled.

Chanyeol awaited the answer anxiously as if he didn’t already know that Baekhyun was _extremely_ happy with anything and everything that wasn’t darkness or aggression. 

Baekhyun squealed and clutched his mates top, “Always happy!”

A lie, but Chanyeol was in too good of a mood to point it out, plus he really didn’t need to when the others looked completely aware.

He didn’t doubt they knew much more than they led on, especially since Baekhyun had begun playing out back more and suddenly there were many notes being shoved through the fence.

He’d caught Kyungsoo and Zitao out there a few times too, watching Baekhyun paint through the cracks in the wood. Normally Sehun and Jongin weren’t too far behind, watching through the screen door so Baekhyun didn’t have to smell them.

He appreciated that _too_ even if he knew how hard it was,

But Baekhyun was startled easily, so it was important to take things slowly no matter how badly Chanyeol wanted him to see others.

“Okay, baby, you want to go get the surprise?” 

Baekhyun grinned so hard his gums were on show, kissing Chanyeol's collarbone and shuffling off.

It wasn’t much of a surprise anyway, Chanyeol would have never even had the _thought_ if not having spoken about it with someone.

Yixing to be more specific thought it would be an amazing idea while some others weren’t as sure.

Yifan, Minseok, Luhan - he knew they meant best, really, and since they were older Chanyeol trusted their views a lot.

But at the same time they didn’t know Baekhyun anymore like he did, they couldn’t claim to know what was best for him not knowing the situation his mate goes through.

Nightmares, trauma, abuse - Baekhyun _suffered._

And if there was anything that Chanyeol wanted to do it was find any ways to reduce his suffering even if it was mimiscle.

Namely Luhan worried about it, especially after hearing how violent Baekhyun could get when in an episode, clawing and screaming and _wailing._

But that wasn’t their business to worry about, it was Chanyeol's, and Baekhyun could control himself so much better now, he didn’t have as hard of a time differentiating between reality and the past.

Plus, when Chanyeol hit him with a, _but you would help us, right?_ Luhan was weak for an opportunity to help Baekhyun, even if it was small in comparison to the help the omega truly needed.

_“That was fast.”_

Chanyeol laughed, nodding to the Sehun in the camera, “What Baekhyun wants, he’ll get… deserves much more than this anyway.” 

Nobody had anything to say to that, because it was so true.

The alpha leaned off of the bed frame with a short laugh, because it shouldn’t be taking Baekhyun this long to just go to the room next door.

“Give me a second, let me see what that pup is doing,” He chuckled at the thought of Baekhyun’s antics.

 _“Getting into trouble, probably,”_ Yifan drawled.

Chanyeol chuckled and internally agreed, dipping out of the room and leaving the phone on FaceTime waiting for them.

Of course the most trouble Baekhyun was included messy, paint soaked hands touching doorknobs and stacks of food wrappers, but he wasn’t _actual_ trouble.

Nothing like what Chanyeol considered his drunken illusions to be, because they scared his mate, and ever since he’d gotten drunk last time and Baekhyun had been upset with him he vowed to try harder not to go down that road.

Things were easier when Baekhyun had twinkling eye smiles in the mornings and cuddled into his shoulder, no longer running off as soon as he realized where he was, _“alpha, movie?”_

And suddenly their morning routine included a few movies. 

You would think Chanyeol would grow tired of the same three movies Baekhyun liked to watch, yet he truthfully couldn’t remember a single time where he’d actually sat through one entirely because he would become much too distracted kissing Baekhyun’s face, combing his hair, watching his profile as the omega had developed a habit of touching his lips a lot.

It was a much better habit than digging nails into his palms until they bruised, so it was welcome.

“What are you taking so long for, gremlin-“

Cutting himself off, Chanyeol leaned against the door with a fond smile.

Baekhyun tended to forget things quickly, so maybe he’d forgotten they were in the middle of a call, because his mate was busy cooing and redressing a tiny pup in a _new_ bunny onesie even though they’d spent hours choosing the bear one the baby had been in.

“Isn’t he so cute?” 

The alpha sighed pleasantly and drifted over to Baekhyun, watching his mate carefully pick up the bunny dressed baby under his arms, “Of course, looks like you, angel.” 

That _wasn’t_ a lie. The baby resembled Baekhyun in such a way that had Chanyeol calling up the agency that had him a million times until they finally got information for them.

“Looks like _you!”_ Baekhyun giggled, a gentle hand patting down the baby’s hair and even Chanyeol had been shocked how easily Baekhyun had gone from the baby to _momma._

“Thank you, let’s get back and show off, hm?” Chanyeol cooed, kissing Baekhyun’s temple and petting the yawning baby’s back. 

It wasn’t cheap. It _certainly_ hadn’t been cheap doing this.

The agency itself charged such high fees and even more seeing as he was an _alpha_ and the child was _not._

Chanyeol understood their worries, of course he’d be worried about signing off a baby omega into anyone’s care that wasn’t an omega, and his rage flared when he understood their implications when his application had been rejected the first time.

But with Baekhyun’s input and the fact that his mate _couldn’t_ tell if whom he was speaking to on the computer was an omega, beta, or alpha, helped them get accepted the second time.

It still hurt for Chanyeol to overhear their questions for Baekhyun.

If he was abused, if he was touched.

It was his mates own _home,_ Chanyeol would put down his life before letting any of that ever happen.

Baekhyun always just denied anything and would cry after their Skype interviews from all the bad memories.

His mate hadn’t been lying though - Chanyeol would never abuse him, and that’s the answer he knew the agency had been looking for. 

At least it assured him their son hadn’t been touched, that the agency had protected Taehyung extremely well. 

Seeing as their pup was only one, it would be difficult for the baby to tell anyone any differently to begin with. 

Taehyung was just _beautiful,_ and there wouldn’t ever be a hand here to harm him when with them.

He’d arrived at exactly four thirty six this morning, dressed in a puffy, orange and rather ugly looking pajama set, an agent carrying him and Chanyeol just knew he was in love.

Baekhyun had been dead asleep, a way Chanyeol preferred when the agent refused to give the baby up before checking that they had a safe bedroom for him and had supplies.

Baekhyun had _long_ ordered everything he’d seen for a baby, so they had more than enough. 

The check that Chanyeol wrote for the agency was an overwhelming amount for some, but given who he _was_ and the fact that even though he mainly took care of paperwork now, his pack refused to leave them out of sales.

So all that money didn’t feel even close enough to how much Taehyung was worth.

The pup had been tired eyed and _still_ tried to put arms out for him the moment he’d been carried into the home.

A type of innocence that Chanyeol only ever associated with Baekhyun and made him want to say, _“You shouldn’t trust strange alphas.”_

He’d almost teared up when the phrase occurred to him, and he had teared up when the agent apologetically refused to hand Taehyung over until he did the tour, Chanyeol had only ever felt the need to listen to _one_ omega in his life, but he didn’t even try to argue even though Taehyung had started squirming and whimpering.

It was agonizing to watch and when Chanyeol had _finally_ gotten hands on the puppy he did cry.

He sobbed and had little slobbery fingers prodding his hair as he cried into Taehyung's clothes. 

The baby had zero idea of what was going on, unable to recognize scents and seemed to have his own agenda as Baekhyun often did too - trying to crawl off his lap and touch all the couch pillows.

Chanyeol realized he hadn’t cried that hard in such a long time because when he calmed down it was because he was laughing at little hands clutching his shirt and experimentally nuzzling into his scent.

It was so cute, and such a _Baekhyun_ thing to do.

If they’d had been able to have their own child, he knew it would _be_ Taehyung, and not one thing so far have proved that wrong, he was _theirs_ down to the little toes that curled into the changing table when Chanyeol laid him down to change a baby’s diaper for the first time in his _life._

It was much easier than he’d heard, that or he didn’t feel like it was a hassle even a little.

So Chanyeol cooed at him with a softness only his mate had seen, and the puppy seemed to like it so much, babbling into his shirt and releasing little squeaky noises.

And _that_ was exactly how Baekhyun had startled awake, hair disarrayed all over his head and eyes frantic before he calmed down seeing Chanyeol pacing the room.

The noise Baekhyun made when laying eyes on the baby was nothing short of a pained yell even though Chanyeol knew he was happy.

Taehyung looked more than happy to see someone else, and once Chanyeol set him on the covers he showed how healthy and energetic he was by crawling up the blankets and directly into Baekhyun’s arms like he knew exactly who he was.

Again, Chanyeol knew Taehyung was perfect the moment Baekhyun started calling himself _momma_ and crying that Taehyung was beautiful.

Anything that reminded him so much of _Baekhyun_ was more than beautiful in Chanyeol's eyes, but he didn’t have a perfect word for it.

_“Show off my baby?”_

Chanyeol laughed as Taehyung screeched for no reason at all, entertaining himself by holding Baekhyun’s finger and trying to teeth on it. _“Our baby.”_

“My baby,” Baekhyun pouted his lips, obviously not caring as his finger was being mauled, “I had, so mine.” 

“If that’s the case then it takes _two,”_ Chanyeol rolled his eyes fondly, “So it makes him _ours,_ when did you get so selfish, angel? Huh?”

Baekhyun just giggled and turned to snuggle into Chanyeol's chest.

There was no answer, but that was fine, Baekhyun could keep his thoughts to himself if he wanted.

Baekhyun could do anything he wanted in general, and Chanyeol wasn’t going to say a thing.


	33. Extra: Well I still love you, I love you still, I love you still

“Can we come in?” 

Chanyeol snickered and had no idea why Baekhyun bothered asking when the door was wide open and his mate was already coming inside.

“We’re in!” The omega cheered which earned a squeaky replica from Taehyung, the baby kicking his legs back and forth on Baekhyun’s side. 

“Ah, you’re silly, baby.” Chanyeol drawled, scooting his desk chair out and moving his pens out of reach from Taehyung as Baekhyun approached.

Baekhyun smiled prettily and leaned over to kiss his lips, the alpha instantly cupping his cheek to press his own kisses to his mates mouth.

Taehyung grunted a soft noise, reaching his arms out for Chanyeol cutely, eyes puffy from a nap he’d obviously only just woke up from as he whined and pouted, _“Dada!”_

“I want to paint, so I’ll put him in the playpen,” His mate started walking away to the pen in the corner of the study.

Taehyung didn’t spend much time there at _all,_ not because he didn’t spend time with Chanyeol - definitely not - but because the alpha felt like it was baby jail or something despite the fact Taehyung didn’t seem to care.

Well, the baby really was not fussy at all so it was difficult to tell what he even noticed let alone cared for.

 _Except_ The Muppets.

Taehyung screamed like the world had ended and hated the show, babies tended to be scared of odd things but his wobbly chin was enough for the couple to ban that channel all together.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

Baekhyun laughed and turned around from leaving the room, giggling like he’d been waiting for that response and dashing over to the desk.

“Leave without a kiss, how dare you, angel.” Chanyeol scolded playfully, tugging his mate down onto his thigh and smiling at the sound of Taehyung rolling toys in the corner of the room. 

_“Kisses, alpha.”_

“Mhm,” He accepted the kiss Baekhyun placed onto his lips before petting his cheek, squeezing him tighter into his chest, “Do you want to talk about earlier?”

This morning had been the first in over a month Baekhyun had a complete breakdown, and to be fair he’d done such a good job.

Chanyeol had only left the dining room for a few minutes to set up some toys for their baby and make sure a tablet was charging for Baekhyun, because he found him FaceTiming the pack more often these days.

They had only seen Taehyung one time in person, so Chanyeol knew they were all impatient since the one time they’d seen him was the one time Baekhyun let Chanyeol step out front.

Of course his mate watched everything from the window, too afraid to even sit by the opened door and risk the wind blowing the scent of an alpha close to him.

Chanyeol realized at least Baekhyun was willing to try and that was _more_ than he could have asked for, who knew how his mate would deal in a year from now - or two - maybe Sehun could be here helping them with the baby in the mornings, or Yifan could take Taehyung outside for a little.

They felt guilty for keeping their baby in the house or out back only.

But they were scared and _scarred_ and traumatized - definitely- it had been so easy for Baekhyun to get snatched outside his own home so taking a baby compared to a grown omega was just that much easier.

Chanyeol couldn't even think straight, picturing what they’d do when they needed to send Taehyung to school, but they had years to figure that out.

He’d only ever feel comfortable keeping an eye on Taehyung, and if Baekhyun wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon then he wasn’t either because he needed to keep as much of an eye on his mate too. 

But with their _pack_ and with Yifan or Sehun and Jongin - other alphas that he knew could fight - he would feel so much more comfortable even if he much preferred himself going out with Taehyung too.

They just couldn’t keep him unknowing and hidden even if they wanted to.

Maybe one day Baekhyun would let Chanyeol take Taehyung out, maybe to a park or a store, because the alpha really wanted to, but at the same time didn’t want Baekhyun to be afraid.

“Sh, don’t make that face, baby. It’s okay. You did so well,” Chanyeol cooed once Baekhyun frowned deeply, obviously guilty. “So good, I’m proud.” 

Baekhyun _had_ done so good, better than Chanyeol expected considering he had hidden around the counter and in the kitchen to cry and shake, out of Taehyung's view.

Babies were innocent, sure, but they were also smart, and they never wanted Taehyung to have to see his parents scared.

Chanyeol knew Baekhyun wouldn’t ever scare a baby, and he never doubted that his mate would still have incidences, but his reaction to hide from Taehyung's view was so thought out and made the alpha realize Baekhyun understood so much more than he previously led on. 

Still, Chanyeol had been scared walking in on Taehyung munching on his Cheerios all alone in his highchair when Baekhyun was normally cooing at him and making him giggle so hard to show his new tiny, pearly tooth.

A warm bath was easy enough to calm Baekhyun down with, that and a million hugs from both a slobbery baby and Chanyeol.

At least that was new - Taehyung had Baekhyun calm much faster than even his mate from just a, _“Mama! ‘Up’pi!”_

“Just…” Baekhyun tucked his head under Chanyeol's chin, pulling his knees up to be held with his body, “... lawn mower outside was super loud.. like a gun, so.. so.. noisy.” 

With a sigh and a hand soothing Baekhyun’s hair back, Chanyeol pecked his forehead, dipping fingers into the back of his shirt to touch his claim, “Did so well, baby.” 

_“Really?”_

The puppy eyed, sad look he got made Chanyeol peck his nose too, “Of course, love you. Now, you want to paint? Why don’t you paint in here?”

Baekhyun instantly seemed over the reminder, and Chanyeol didn’t _have_ to bring it up again to ask him to talk, but he wanted to understand more of what made his mate upset.

The omega giggled and kissed Chanyeol's jaw, pressing his smile into his cheek, “Tae will try to grab, he gets angry when we are still close and not paying attention.” 

_“Sounds like someone I know,”_ Chanyeol teased to which his mate pouted and smacked his chest gently. “Go get those paints, baby. A little bit of a mess I can handle - handle all of yours, angel.” 

Baekhyun squeaked when Chanyeol patted his tailbone softly, laughing into his shoulder before climbing up, _“okay!”_

His mate smiled adoringly at his back as he shuffled out of the room likely to drag his entire paint kit into here which would take him a while.

A mess from a baby was much worse than a Baekhyun mess, but that was what they had old sheets to spread on the floor for.

“Okay, my little monster,” The alpha got up to approach the crib.

Taehyung was fine in there, perfectly content to be in his own world with his toys, but as soon as he noticed Chanyeol he gave a gummy smile, scrambling to grab the side of the pen with a lion stuffed animal in his grip, _“Dada!”_

“Hi, Taehyungie, daddy’s little boy, huh?” He crooned, lifting him out of the playpen.

Taehyung cried a happy noise, flailing his stuffed animal and squirming with giggles, “Dada, Ta!” 

“I see, you have Tata? So cute, is he nice to you? Are you playing nicely, baby?” Chanyeol smiled, kissing Taehyung's head and walking back to his desk.

The bright side of having a baby so attention seeking was definitely the fact that as Chanyeol set his diaper covered bottom to the desk Taehyung didn’t care about anything else other than being cooed at.

“Ta!”

Laughing, Chanyeol squeezed Taehyung's little ankle, pinching his toe just so the omega threw a fit of happy noises before undoing the onesie buttons over his diaper, “You want to play with mommy’s special things? I know we tell Tae Tae _no no,_ but just this one time our baby can paint too.” 

Taehyung gasped although Chanyeol was sure he probably caught only about five or so of those words, putting his arms up and only whining when the alpha removed the toy from his fingers so he could pull his arm from his top.

“Painting, baby?” Chanyeol asked, setting his toes on the desk and holding him up to press a kiss to his belly, “Huh? You want to paint?”

“Uppie!” Taehyung giggled, bouncing on his feet and pretending to have control over his little legs.

He could walk a little bit, they’d discovered, but as with anything they weren’t forcing him to do much when Baekhyun researched so _much_ about children and squealed a, _“Sometimes baby’s take longer, Yixing!”_

When the other had asked if Taehyung was running yet.

It was funny to see something Baekhyun was defensive over that wasn’t his mate.

“I _know!_ Tae wants up so much,” Chanyeol sighed playfully, pressing a loud and dramatic kiss to the omegas fingers, “You love daddy? I love you too, my little omega.” 

The word that used to set Baekhyun off like an engine revving up wasn’t _so_ bad anymore, not that Chanyeol used it often.

At least not often in front of Baekhyun.

It used to be his favorite thing to call Baekhyun, because it always used to get the cutest blush from his mate, but considering he no longer liked it, Chanyeol felt it was even more endearing for their son.

Taehyung really liked it too, although likely just liking the sound of Chanyeol's voice more than what he was saying anyway.

So, when it was just them Chanyeol tended to overdo it because he loved Taehyung and the matching boxy smile he shared with Baekhyun, and he loved to hear Baekhyun telling Taehyung how much they loved him.

He loved to watch his mate rock Taehyung to sleep with little promises. 

_Daddy will watch us, Tae Tae, you don’t ever have to worry._

_Love you so much, so much that we’re going to make sure you’re safe all the time._

_Won't ever, ever let you get hurt. Mommy isn’t going to let anyone come near you._

_Daddy will protect us both forever, my puppy._

Chanyeol used to doubt those things - he couldn’t protect Baekhyun, so how in the world could he protect Taehyung? 

But now he didn’t have room for failure. He didn’t have room to be swayed by an innocence Baekhyun used to have - a sense of false safety Baekhyun used to give off and make Chanyeol feel so _relaxed_ that he’d give in to whatever his mate was saying.

There was so much more at risk now, and he’d nearly died when Baekhyun was taken - so it was death the _second_ history tried to repeat.

Not his own death - anyone that tried to do anything to his mate or his baby or _both._

And he didn’t put it past society to _try,_ eventually.

“ ‘issy, dada!”

“Kissy? You get _so_ many kisses! You’re spoiled rotten!” Chanyeol laughed and tossed Taehyung a bit, catching him quickly because he knew Baekhyun _hated_ when he played roughly. 

_“He’s not a baby alpha! You can’t toss him, Chanyeol!”_

Chanyeol begged to differ, because Taehyung's face turned red when he squealed and laughed so hard playing rough. 

“Ah, calm down, baby! Huh, tell mommy to calm down!” Chanyeol turned Taehyung around to face Baekhyun who now had a pout and hands on his hips, a bag of paints sitting at his feet.

_“Mama! Mamamama!”_

“See? He agrees.” Chanyeol said surely as if he understood any of Taehyung’s squealing. 

Baekhyun sent a pout for a moment longer before it was him giggling and shaking his head, coming to join them because his mate was always a sucker for hugs.

And that had _never_ changed, Baekhyun came to snuggle instantly, never once rejecting a chance to get love from Chanyeol.

So, with a lap full and Baekhyun kissing Taehyung's face, mumbling about their baby’s pretty face, Chanyeol didn’t feel half bad.

In fact, he hadn’t felt this good since he’d seen an omega just as pretty, one just as innocent.

“Baekhyun, love you to the moon.” 

_“But that’s too close, alpha! Saturn is the furthest from Earth, so I love you to Saturn!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~The End....? Or more baby Tae?
> 
> (Also when Tae gets old he’d def have JK tailing him much like it’s mentioned Jongin did Ksoo (; )


	34. Extra: I will be your mother and I’ll hold your hand

“Dada.” 

“Dada! Dada!” Taehyung squealed when he realized Chanyeol wasn’t listening the first time, little hands grabbing onto the side of his crib with a pout.

It wasn’t that Chanyeol _wasn’t_ listening, he was, but it was very late - pushing three in the morning - and he knew if he stayed quiet normally their son would go right back to sleep.

Apparently not tonight though, and that alone made him sigh seeing as he didn’t need two omegas to be having breakdowns right now.

Baekhyun wasn’t in a bad mood per say, but just him being up this late and Chanyeol rolling over to find him gone was enough to know the omega was having an episode.

At least he knew _why_ this time around.

“Give me a second, my love. One moment, Tae.” 

Chanyeol continued packing the diaper bag up regardless that Baekhyun was breaking down over the plans they had set for the past month.

It was _easy_ for a month ago Baekhyun to say, _“sure! You guys can take Tae to the park!”_ but now that it was coming and their pack would come to get the omega in about five hours things were weighing down too harshly.

He was scared, and it was understandable.

“Uppie! Dada! Dada, ‘issy!”

Chanyeol chuckled, rubbing the sleep out of his eye before placing a clean outfit on the changing table for later, twisting to pick up Taehyung before the baby began a fit.

Slobbery fingers curled into his collar instantly along with a full head of vanilla scented curls flopping in front of his face when Taehyung squealed and sat back to look at him. 

“Good morning, baby. You should be sleeping, cub.” Chanyeol sighed, getting a wet hand dragging over his cheek. 

“Dada, _‘I!”_

“Hi - oh, thank you,” The alpha cooed at the slobbery kiss to his jaw, knowing there was a sheen to his skin as he began down the hallway, “You don’t listen to what I’m saying _anyway,_ my little rascal.” 

Taehyung really didn’t, but he never expected much of a baby, much less at three in the morning and doe eyed.

Chanyeol really hadn’t expected him to wake up, but it was okay if every once in a while he could wake up to his daddy in his room, just so long as he didn’t get too used to it.

Plus, it _really_ wasn’t Chanyeol’s intention to get so attached to sitting in there sometimes, to cleaning it up or just simply sitting beside the crib for a while to watch Taehyung sleep.

It was a much better coping mechanism than drinking, that was for sure - even if he still cried and reached through the bars to pet soft curls and apologize.

For what, he didn’t know. 

Maybe just for the fact Taehyung was an _omega._ Maybe because they kept him so tightly locked in.

Chanyeol couldn't change what happened to Baekhyun, but he could certainly wish better for Taehyung. 

Even those thoughts were hard though, scary.

They’d gotten a video call from the agency to check up on Taehyung and Chanyeol _swore_ he understood the reason they only wanted to speak with Baekhyun and Taehyung while he was in the other room. He _understood._

But it still made him that much more paranoid to let Taehyung out to do _anything_ at all. At the end of the day he was an _omega,_ not seen as much more than an object, and Chanyeol was even just scared seeing as the agency asked so _much -_ was it common for baby omegas to be abused? 

How could someone do _anything_ to a baby? 

All the questions and calls certainly did not help calm him down at all, and yet Chanyeol was so extremely selfish in only caring that _his_ baby wasn’t in danger.

He was always selfish though.

“Say _hi mommy.”_

“Mama, _‘I..”_ Taehyung did a rather tired, open and closed palm wave that was all too heartwarming when he noticed Baekhyun sitting on the couch, lifting his head off Chanyeol’s chest just to give his brightest smile.

All too cute.

“Hi, pup.” 

Baekhyun even sounded so _done_ and the day hadn’t even started yet. 

The alpha sighed and pecked Taehyung's head because of course a baby couldn’t care less about the soft tone, only that Baekhyun replied to him and that just made him so happy. 

Chanyeol just busied juggling Taehyung on his hip, fixing his panda socks over his toes and grabbing a sippy cup of milk from the fridge that was originally to be with the omegas breakfast, but not now it seemed.

“Da-“

“Hands back, gremlin,” Chanyeol teased, shooing Taehyung's hands off the microwave so he could warm up the cup, chewing playfully at the chubbiness of the omegas neck. 

He could always feel when Baekhyun was watching, and his mate never directly said so, but he knew Baekhyun missed being carried around and treated like a child sometimes too, even if he knew Baekhyun lived to see him and Taehyung playing.

They still did these things - Chanyeol had plenty of time to baby Baekhyun when Taehyung was napping or playing by himself, but being parents things were more exhausting now and they always just ended up passing out and napping instead.

“Let’s give mommy a show, huh? Dancing time?” Chanyeol asked softly, placing Taehyung's toes onto the counter so his little bottom was to Baekhyun who was leaning over the arm of the couch with swollen eyes. “What do we do, Taehyungie? Do we give big smiles in the morning?” 

Taehyung cried with excitement, fingers held in Chanyeol's grip as he began kicking at the marble happily, “Yup!”

“And then what!” The alpha gasped playfully, “And then we play with all the toys, what do we do in the mornings, munchkin!”

“No-no!” The baby cried shrilly, shaking himself around with so much excitement making his diaper crinkle and chubby legs stomp, “Mama _issy!”_

“That’s right! My smart boy, we give mama kisses!” Chanyeol cooed, watching the happy, bottom wiggling dance Taehyung did before smiling over the omegas head when he saw it _did_ cheer Baekhyun up seeing as his mate smiled a little.

He grinned and scooped Taehyung up, grabbing the milk in order to drift to the living room, “My smart boy, we have to give mommy so much love everyday, huh?” 

“Taehyungie just gives mama love because he likes kisses,” Baekhyun commented, throat sounding slightly dry so Chanyeol knew he did some more crying while he’d been down the hall. 

The alpha passed Taehyung off seeing as the baby started grunting for Baekhyun with his cup sticking out of his mouth, frowning at Baekhyun’s response and leaning over to pet his mate's head. “Our baby loves _mama,_ that’s why he gives you so many kisses every morning, baby.”

Sure, children liked a lot of attention and Taehyung certainly wasn’t immune to it, but he knew Baekhyun’s words were more to put himself down rather than just being observant.

And that wasn’t okay at all.

“Right, baby?” Chanyeol murmured, tugging Baekhyun to lean against his side and snickering when Taehyung kicked a panda covered foot up onto his chest as if that was a _proper_ resting place for his little toes.

Of course their son was more than welcome to spread out and be spoiled rotten especially when Baekhyun wasn’t feeling all that well, so Chanyeol only began to massage his tiny foot.

Baekhyun didn’t reply for a moment, but it was because the omega was listening to Taehyung's loud, childish breathing over his cup and sniffing at his head.

But when he leaned back to look at Chanyeol his eyes were glassy, “Don’t want to go, alpha.” 

“Oh, beautiful.” Chanyeol sighed, cupping Baekhyun’s cheek before his tears could meet Taehyung's hair seeing as the pup would likely freak out if he smelled the tears and right now he was more than happy just go drink warm milk, “Sh, you’re not going anywhere, I’m not going anywhere, and Tae is going to be gone two hours. I’m sure Yifan would let you be on the phone the entire time, baby boy. Don’t cry. Baby, don’t be upset, he needs to get out sometimes.” 

He knew his words wouldn’t help Baekhyun’s anxiety at all, but Baekhyun shifted to get into his lap, a small bubbly giggle coming from Taehyung when he was meeting Chanyeol's eyes behind his cup at the new angle in the crook of Baekhyun’s arm, throwing a little fist up that he wanted to be held.

“A lot can happen in two hours, alpha.” 

Chanyeol felt all his nerves catch on fire, and if this wasn’t with his _family_ he would have snarled at the words.

He knew that’s what Baekhyun was _intending,_ to make him so upset Taehyung couldn’t go, but that wasn’t fair to their omega who likely forgot by now he would be going outside, but had been _so_ excited to go when it was said.

Taehyung just heard _swing_ and had been jumping off the walls and it wasn’t fair to not keep promises when they were taking so much protection for their son just to go on some swings.

Really, they didn’t need _all_ of the pack taking Taehyung, but they never passed up a chance to see the puppy because it was so rare.

“Baekhyun, I love you to death, okay?” Chanyeol said firmly, without room for arguing because he _knew_ Baekhyun would try, leaning over to kiss his mates lips and _of course_ he had to give Taehyung one or he’d likely get kicked in the chest. “But you cannot just… just imagine these things as Taehyung - okay? That’s not fair to ask of you, I know. But don’t… you can’t put Tae into your place all the time, baby. I know, I know it’s hard I do it _too._ But things are _not_ the same now.”

It was so _cruel_ of them to even consider Taehyung in Baekhyun’s spot but it was so difficult not to.

Especially for his mate, and it showed in _everything_ Taehyung did that made Baekhyun’s eyes shine in a painful way.

Some of the things that occurred were just… ridiculous, but Baekhyun couldn’t help breaking down over them.

Like when Taehyung began to get into the habit of shutting all the opened doors he could find as he wobbled around - Baekhyun nearly had a conniption trying to explain why the omega shouldn’t shut doors _ever,_ but he had no clear reason for it so the _mama, why?_ couldn't be answered.

Of course they’d never say, _“If you lock a door then you could get trapped inside with someone and bad things happen,”_ just like they’d never tell Taehyung - at least not when he was a baby - it wasn’t okay to wave to strangers from the living room window.

Truthfully, that one was rare because when the baby closed in on the front door Baekhyun always started screaming which then led to _two_ omegas crying in fear - one of them for no reason at all other than his mommy’s screaming.

“I-I kn-know!” Chanyeol gently shushed Baekhyun and pet over Taehyung's head when the omega made a confused noise at his mommy’s crying, “Can’t - he-help it.” 

“I know, baby, baby boy, I _know._ Sh. Here-“ Chanyeol gently tugged Taehyung up with one hand, “Tae, give mama hugs. He has an owy.” 

_“Ow?”_

“That’s right, mama has an owy, cuddle bug. He needs so many kisses.” 

The little omega scrunched up his nose with a sad look, all over his chin and lips milk but he didn’t complain about getting the cup taken from his hands, just curling the little fists into Baekhyun’s sleeve as the elder omega tried to hide his tears behind his palm. “Mama ow _bad._ Huggie.” 

Taehyung flopped onto Baekhyun’s neck, squeezing as tight as his little arms could get and whispering a rather cute, _“mama ow bye bye.”_

It always worked though, and Chanyeol sighed in relief, squeezing Baekhyun’s waist as the omega let up and yanked Taehyung into his chest. 

“Good boy, Taehyungie. We have to cuddle until mama’s owy goes away. That’s right.” 

Baekhyun didn’t stop crying, only uncurling a little in order to throw an arm around Chanyeol's neck and press his own chest and Taehyung's back into Chanyeol’s, “L-Longer.” 

“Sh, we’ll sit here all you want, baby.” Chanyeol soothed, kissing below his eye regardless that it was full of tears, “You heard Tae - not until mama’s ow goes _bye bye.”_

The omega sniffled loud and whimpered a tiny bit but he smiled wetly and it was a much better response than Chanyeol expected when Baekhyun kissed his mouth and nuzzled into his nose. “G-Gonna be here a w-while, alpha.” 

Chanyeol was just about to say there was _no_ problem with that at all, but Taehyung's tiny hand did a patting motion on Baekhyun’s shoulder and he chuckled because it was just _adorable._

When Baekhyun began to giggle too, he knew it wouldn’t take nearly as long as they thought to cheer him up.

_“Mama ow bye bye, no come ‘gain.”_

How hopeful for a one and a half year old, but Taehyung was some sort of miracle worker if the laughter Baekhyun released said anything.


	35. Extra: Sometimes I think too much, I get so caught up

Taehyung was three.

He turned three a month ago. They had a party in the backyard where the rest of the alpha’s in the pack could lean over the fence and celebrate too.

For Baekhyun, the biggest step he’d made was allowing pack members to come over.  _ Not  _ any of the alpha’s, nobody even suggested that at this point, but the omega’s and beta’s now found themselves roaming around their house these days.

Which annoyed Chanyeol a bit seeing as he was just completely used to having all of Taehyung and Baekhyun’s attention, but it was such a big step for Baekhyun. 

That wasn’t to say there weren’t incidents. Of course there were.

Once Baekhyun had lashed out at Junmyeon. He’d pinned him in the corner to sniff at him - something expected considering he was trying to get used to the scent of alpha’s all over the pack members - and everything seemed fine.

Until Taehyung began to giggle from down the hall and something about that must have triggered the omega because he began to  _ growl,  _ and Chanyeol managed to grab him before he could do more than shove Junmyeon into the wall.

It was scary. He’d never seen Baekhyun like that. He hit, scratched, and yelled sometimes, but he didn’t outright purposely try to hurt someone.

Things like that were what they had to look out for because Baekhyun wouldn’t say when they were pushing too far.

He wanted to be “normal” again. Baekhyun told Chanyeol he wished he didn’t need to stay indoors all the time, he wished he and Chanyeol could have a healthy sexual experience, and he wished that he wasn’t scared when people got too close to him, but things normally went downhill fast.

It’d been two years and Chanyeol still felt he wasn’t ready for any sexual aspects that had to do with their relationship. 

It led to outbursts and tears and Baekhyun  _ begging  _ him to have sex, and Chanyeol understood that Baekhyun wanted to have different memories relating to sex, but there was a line of where they pushed too hard at Baekhyun’s mind.

It was like pushing against a flimsy piece of plastic, no matter how hard you pushed, it was going to snap back to it's normal form.

For Baekhyun the new normal form was him traumatized; it was him being worried all the time, he was depressed, and he was full of dreams where he was “cured” and able to take Taehyung to the park. 

Baekhyun had little to no patience with himself, he wanted to get up and be “back to normal,” as per his own words, and he was doing so well at separating  _ now _ from  _ then. _

He was doing so well, and didn’t recognize that.

Chanyeol did. 

Chanyeol spent his time researching his condition, they worked out plans and goals, and they tried so many different ideas to help him cope.

Baekhyun could stand to see him naked now, it took a lot of failed attempts and exposure, but taking baths together reminded him of a simpler time and since they began to make time to do that Baekhyun had progressed drastically with his correlation of an alpha’s body and  _ terror. _

He was so much better with it that sometimes they just laid down and held each other like that - naked, laughing, finding the situation comforting rather than scary. 

And the same progression that went for him coping with his sexual trauma, and his fear of people, went for his fear of the outside world.

Baekhyun had been in the car two times prior to today. He sat in the backseat at first with Taehyung, because Chanyeol thought it would calm him down to catch Taehyung coo and point at lights.

It didn’t. 

He’d thrown himself into the floorboard before Chanyeol even got to the stop sign at the end of the street.

He’d reiterated that Baekhyun could stick to making it to the mailbox and that was  _ fine,  _ that their family walk out to get the mail was such amazing progress, because Baekhyun always looked  _ so  _ proud of himself when he turned to hand Chanyeol the newspaper.

His hands would be shaking as if they hadn’t been doing this for months now, and he had to lean into Chanyeol’s side for support, but Baekhyun still made it to the mailbox, and that was enough.

But to Baekhyun it wasn’t enough, he wanted to try again, so they did.

Chanyeol took him on a drive, just the two of them with the center console up so Baekhyun could sit as close as possible to him, and that went  _ so  _ smoothly.

The front seat was okay for Baekhyun to sit in without panicking _.  _ Chanyeol hadn’t seen him look around like that before, like he forgot what the outside world looked like, so he vowed to try and go out for car rides more often. 

But, something came up before he could take him on calm car rides.

Taehyung was going to daycare.

He didn’t have to. But they’d discussed long and hard about it. They’d both cried about it too. 

They were scared. Paranoid. Both of them had worries piling on worries for Taehyung.

But in the end, they couldn’t just shelter him forever. They wished they could, but the pack had gotten on Chanyeol for even suggesting Taehyung not go out.

They couldn’t just take out their fears on Taehyung and shelter him forever, it wasn’t fair. So the toddler was going to daycare where he could make friends. 

The pack had personally checked out the daycare for them; Yifan, Sehun, and Jongin must have looked scary - three huge alpha’s walking into a daycare demanding to speak with the teachers.

Chanyeol knew they must have hounded the staff, but in the end the trio had approved the school, and that was reassurance enough for him.

And now it was time to let Taehyung go to daycare for the first time. He had driven Baekhyun and Taehyung to the daycare - it was only ten minutes away from their house - and pulled up to the side of the building where no other cars were.

Well, none other than their pack's car, they followed behind seeing as there was no way Chanyeol would be able to step out of the car and leave Baekhyun inside alone, so they needed someone to carry Taehyung inside his first day.

Baekhyun wished it could be him, and Chanyeol wished so too, but they both knew it was just  _ too much.  _

Even knowing Taehyung would spend four hours without them was too much, but Chanyeol had a sneaking feeling that some pack members would stick around the area if they needed to rush in and take Taehyung home early if Baekhyun decided he wanted his baby back home.

(There was a cafe around the corner that Kyungsoo and Jongin had been willing to hang out at, just in case.) 

“Baby.” Chanyeol mumbled as he twisted at the waist to look at Baekhyun.

_ “Yesh daddy?”  _

The alpha began to laugh, reaching over the center console to lay a hand over Baekhyun’s cheek while he turned to look at the toddler in the backseat. 

Taehyung had a pretty smile on his face. He was just so excited to, as per his own words,  _ “Make fwiends to p’ay din’saurs!”  _

He was wearing a set of overalls, red rain boots, and a polka dotted bucket hat on his head, one that Baekhyun always found silly but their son claimed it was,  _ “Pashion, mommy!”  _

Taehyung could wear whatever he wanted and still be the cutest baby omega in the room. 

“I was talking to mommy, silly boy,” Chanyeol snickered, fingers petting over Baekhyun's cheek as he addressed Taehyung with proud eyes. “But Tae Tae  _ is  _ the baby. You're so smart, pumpkin.” 

“Yup!” Taehyung giggled and patted the space themed backpack that was on his lap, “Gon’ go skool. Cuz me know tings.” 

“You know things? Like what?” Chanyeol laughed, shifting to partially press into Baekhyun as he leaned over the seat to unbuckle Taehyung.

It would be much easier just getting out and bringing the gremlin into the front seat, but he wouldn’t dare separate from Baekhyun’s side.

Especially not when the omega wrapped an arm around his waist and looked up at him with sad, worried eyes.

“Me know mama wike huggies!” 

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun puff a warm, silent laugh into his arm and smiled because it was the most reaction Baekhyun had since this morning when he cried and asked if they  _ really had  _ to send Taehyung off.

They didn’t  _ have  _ to do anything, but they both knew Taehyung didn’t have a chance at a happy future unless they let him make friends and be a normal little boy.

Regardless that he was an omega.

Most of the time Chanyeol forgot about that fact, because to him, to Baekhyun, and to their family it didn’t matter what Taehyung  _ was.  _

It mattered who he was, and he was their son and the youngest member of their pack, and he was  _ protected. _

They learned their lesson with Baekhyun, the abuse of their family would  _ stop  _ there. There was no other option. Chanyoel had one goal in life now.

Making sure Taehyung was safe. 

“Haha!  _ Mommy! Wook!”  _

Taehyung squirmed with excitement as Chanyeol placed him onto his lap, yanking his backpack up and shaking it in front of Baekhyun.

And for the first time today, Baekhyun cracked a smile.

He was still wearing pajamas, his cheeks were round and full, his hair messy, and he had a black fuzzy blanket wrapped all around him like a shield. He looked far from okay, but for Taehyung he always found himself quicker than when it was just him and Chanyeol.

Taehyung motivated him to stay calm much better than Chanyeol did. Because Chanyeol knew how to take care of him, he would pick him up, coddle him, and coo, but Taehyung was only a baby and didn't know, and Baekhyun knew that, so he stayed calm.

“What do you have in there, my love?” The omega asked with a soft giggle, reaching out of his blanket to fix one of the buttons on Taehyung's overalls, “Is it… hm… a  _ teddy bear?” _

“No!” Taehyung burst into giggles and began yanking at the zipper of his backpack, “Siwwy, mommy! Beaw don't fit!” 

Chanyeol snickered and gently shifted Taehyung off into Baekhyun’s lap in favor of scooting into the middle seat and wrapping an arm around his mate, fingers moving to Baekhyun’s hair to play with the ends calmly. 

His eyes flickered to the clock on the dashboard. In fifteen minutes Kyungsoo would come pluck Taehyung from them and he, Jongin, and Sehun would take the toddler to his very first day of daycare.

It was overkill, but it was a  _ warning _ to whoever was watching.

“Mama, me gib you.” The baby commented suddenly, a slight pant to his voice as if he'd worked himself up, “Me gib!”

Chanyeol grinned when Baekhyun accepted the drawing Taehyung pulled out of his bag.

It was really the only thing in there other than a few dinosaurs, extra clothes just in case, and plenty of snacks to share. That was Baekhyun’s idea; everyone liked snacks, so he wanted to make sure Taehyung could make a lot of friends on his first day, and what better way than a few bags of gummies? 

The picture Baekhyun was given was a scribbly flower, Taehyung's style was to push so hard on his markers that they bled through paper, but it was still adorable even if they had to hurry and wipe the table before it stained.

“Do you remember what you told daddy to write?” Chanyeol prompted, one hand scratching Baekhyun’s scalp and bringing the other to take Taehyung's chubby cheek between his fingers.

Of course he didn’t remember, they’d done it last night and Taehyung's excitement today was just making him scream  _ skool skool skool.  _ Even though it was just daycare nobody corrected him.

“Little rascal told me,  _ “write mama don’t be sad.”  _ So don’t be sad, beautiful.” Chanyeol whispered, leaning down to catch Baekhyun’s eyes, “But mommy isn’t said, right?” He said, “You're very proud of our baby.” 

_ “Uncle Min Min say berry pwoud too!”  _ Taehyung rambled, leaning into Baekhyun’s chest and obviously digging through his bag. 

Baekhyun looked torn, his eyes watered and he cupped Taehyung's head to hold him under his chin tighter. “I- of course I’m proud, a-alpha.” 

“Sh,” Chanyeol leaned down to press a kiss to his ear, mumbling, “I know, baby. Me  _ too.  _ Just breathe.”

He saw the look in Baekhyun’s eye that suggested he was slipping, that he instead wanted to take Taehyung's place and be held and kissed and told random, cute stories to calm down. 

The more scared he felt the more Baekhyun wanted to be giggly, childish,  _ adorable,  _ he wanted to replace his fearful feelings with the affection he'd missed that Chanyeol was more than willing to give him. 

That never went away, even if Baekhyun had to step back a bit in order to take care of Taehyung.

Sometimes it was hard. He'd find Baekhyun crawling into his lap for cuddles and kisses just to seek his attention, and sometimes Chānyeol had to reject him in order to make sure Taehyung wasn't getting into trouble down the hall or to make dinner, which always led to Baekhyun trying to “control himself,” as they deemed it, and Chanyeol hated that. 

He was always willing to give Baekhyun the extra love he wanted, but it took a bit to figure out exactly how to do it.

But they did, and they found out their son fit perfectly in between their chests when Baekhyun wanted to sing a song, Taehyung liked to put his own little paint covered fingers in Chanyeol’s office with Baekhyun’s,  _ and  _ the toddler liked to take naps on his mommy’s chest while Baekhyun curled up on Chanyeol’s chest with wide eyes to watch his planet documentaries.

Everything was working out. As it should be.

“I want kisses,” Baekhyun stated aloud, sounding near tears.

“Tae Tae, if you don’t give kisses first daddy is going to take them all.” 

_ “No, daddy!”  _ Taehyung shrieked in outrage,  _ “Dis my mommy kissy time!”  _

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: Gigi_B56 - Come see sneak peeks of stories!
> 
> https://curiouscat.qa/Gigi_B56 - Ask me questions!


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